31 December 2007

Let's Go Mavs!

So, this is totally not Bulldog-related, but really, nothing's going on. We haven't played any games, no one defected mid-season, and no one is playing in the WJCs.

Yesterday, I drove down to Mankato. My favorite part about driving to Mankato is, if you ever want to find Jesus, you can find him on the way to Mankato. Like on the HUGE billboard on 22 that says JESUS. So, it's a great stretch of road to drive if you're feeling a spiritual void in your life.

I made it down to Mankato in not quite record time, because 169 is irritatingly not a freeway, so there were stupid stop signs that periodically slowed my progress. Then some poor direction on the part of my mother got me going the wrong way, so it took me awhile to get to my mini-family reunion. This mini-reunion did not include any RWD staffers or affiliates other than my mom, as those folks are not tUMD fans. Though Duluth is the site of the RWD Ancestral Home, Mankato holds more RWD relatives than any other city in the universe. We watched some football, ate some cookies, and complained about various ailments. The cookies were the highlight of the afternoon, by far!

Because of a happy coincidence, I was able to attend the Mavs vs. Yale game with LGM and two of her friends. It was my first visit to Revolving Name Civic Center, and I certainly had a good time. The Mavs won 4-1 over the Faux-Dogs from the Ivy League. Yale's only goal came on a power play after Jason Wiley took his second penalty in a row. Wiley had as many goals as he did penalties, and if certain Bulldogs players could do that, we'd NEVER LOSE A GAME. Andy Sackrison, an alumnus of St. Louis Park High School (along with such luminaries as Erik Rasmussen and RWD), was named the third star of the game for his assist and excellent defensive play. Jon Kallinski scored a goal and could have scored another one, as the puck was seriously just LAYING THERE WAITING FOR HIM but he couldn't get a stick on it, for some reason or another. He had to leave immediately after the game to finish shooting scenes for Scooby Doo 2, in which he plays one of the principal characters. GUESS WHICH ONE?! Hot RJ did not factor on the scoreboard, but he was extremely hot. I couldn't see Juttz from where we were sitting, which is awesome. I did see his twin brothers AND I saw the inspiration to cougars everywhere, Juttz's wife.

And then, there was the highlight of the night:
It appears to be a green pepper with feet, rocking out with an acoustic guitar. Amazing.

28 December 2007

I Am Lazy

So what? There's nothing to write about, and I missed a bunch of games because of work. BUT, that will not be occurring anymore, because I HAVE A NEW JOB that DOESN'T REQUIRE WORKING LATE WEEKEND NIGHTS. GLORY HALLELUJAH.

I would like to direct your attention to tUMD and tMN Wild fan JDogHooey's new blog, Wild View from Section 216. JDog is (so he says) a regular RWD reader, which is more rare than a giant panda thriving in its natural habitat, so naturally I've added him to the links page.

I should have a post forthcoming this weekend, as I am going to Mankato on Sunday to take in the Mavs vs. somebody (I don't even know) with LGM.

11 December 2007

Santa, Baby

Santa baby, a game-worn jersey under the tree, Curry's
Been an awful good girl
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, a power play that clicks at 30 percent
I'll wait up for you dear
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the fun I've missed
Think of all the Bulldog fans that would be pissed
Next year I could be just as good
If you'd check off my Christmas list

Santa baby, I want to sweep the Gophers, home and away
Been an angel all year
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa honey, one thing I really do need, a trophy
Want to win the whole league
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with good fore- and back-checks
60 minutes of work
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations like one more Hobey
I really do believe in you
Let's see if you believe in me

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
Nation'l championship
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight!

10 December 2007

The Joke's On Me

tUMD 3, "Don't Call Us a Lesser Team, Bitch!" 5

note from RWD: I've been working and studying non-stop this whole freaking weekend, so that's why the recap was so late. Not just because the game was not good.

So, anyway, Friday night, all tDogs rushed back to their dorms/apartments/rental houses of doom to check this site to see what I had said about the game. Because, of course, a bunch of college hockey players have nothing better to do with their time than read the barely coherent ramblings of a crusty old hag. "Hah!" they cried. "Hah! She thought that was major crap? She thought that was poor defense? Well, we'll show her!"

And thus we had Saturday's game.

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 3
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 7

My Guys:
Matt McKnight: 11!
MacGregor Sharp: 9!
Michael Gergen: 7! (Off notice! I should call people out more often!)
Mike Curry: 2

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 5!
Cody Danberg: 2
Kyle Schmidt: 2
Rob Bordson: 1
Mike Montgomery: 1
Chad Huttel: 1
Evan Oberg: 0

On Notice:
Points
Evan Oberg
Jay Cascalenda
Matt Greer
Alex Stalock
Travis Gawryletz
Trent Palm
Drew Akins
Cody Danberg
Mike Curry

Goals only
Justin Fontaine
Jordan Fulton
Josh Meyers
MacGregor Sharp

07 December 2007

A Game That Will Die In Obscurity

tUMD 3, Mythical Creatures 3

It's Pearl Harbor Day today, hooray! Um, I mean, respectful silence!

I am tired, so this is going to be a short recap. I missed the first period, which is fine, whatever. I missed a shorty, which is sad, but I saw 2 power play goals, which is akin to seeing a complete solar eclipse AND Halley's comet simultaneously.

The bad part is, we played like major crap in our own end, and gave away a win when UAA scored with the extra attacker and 1:40 to go.

Play to win tomorrow, guys. 3 points this weekend.

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 3
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 7!

My Guys:
Matt McKnight: 10! (Taking over the lead!)
MacGregor Sharp: 8
Michael Gergen: 6
Mike Curry: 2

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 4
Cody Danberg: 2
Kyle Schmidt: 2
Rob Bordson: 1
Mike Montgomery: 1
Chad Huttel: 1
Evan Oberg: 0

On Notice:
Points
Evan Oberg
Jay Cascalenda
Matt Greer
Alex Stalock
Michael Gergen (uncool! Get it going, Gergzilla!)
Travis Gawryletz

Goals only
Trent Palm
Justin Fontaine
Cody Danberg
Jordan Fulton
Josh Meyers

05 December 2007

Blog-Whoring

Don't worry, I love you guys the most.

But I'm writing for Wild Puck Banter now, and you should read it.

02 December 2007

THB

My post about the MTU-UMTC game is up over at tTech Hockey Blog, where I am banned from using tsmall t.

Unrelated

I know this has nothing to do with tDogs or college hockey in general, but:

AWWW YEAH BABY!!!!!! ILLINOIS IS GOING TO THE ROSE BOWL!!!!!!

01 December 2007

Slip-Slidin' Away

tUMD 1, Game-Stealers 2

Extrapolating from the season so far, you would think the Bulldogs would have swept this weekend, and so technically, the Mavs accomplished what's known as "stealing a game." I know people like to say "This is the WCHA, anything can happen, blah blah blah," but the bottom line is, we SUCK against Mankato. We suck so much we've even scored on ourselves! So, whatevs, I'm not that broken up. I mean, I hate losing, and I so wanted to subtract from the numbers and take more people off notice and all that, but I'm hoping maybe this was a learning experience, and we play Anchorage hard.

LGM's predictions from The Gauntlet are as follows:
At least one short handed goal (check!) from my boy Kalinski (nope! From My Guy Matt McKnight!)
Also expect to see at least 3 goals from Berge (one goal, GWG tonight)
For the fans, be ready for a rockin' good time at the Alltel Center (DA did not tell me about any rocking that occurred, and we didn't exactly play well, so I doubt that many 'Dogs fans had a good time)
Conclusion: LGM is not the best prognosticator.

I wasn't at the game, of course, I was scoping out the competition at the MTU-UMTC game. Watching it was just as good as watching tUMD, because Tech plays essentially the same game we do... especially the FREAKING POWER PLAY.

I have to say, I was EMBARRASSED by the crappiness of our roads today. I mean, it was a bit of snow, but not that much, and NOTHING was plowed. We had hardy travelers from the UP in town, we should have shown them we, too, know how to handle a snowfall. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

I'm tired. Look for my recap of the Tech game on tTech Hockey Blog later, probably tomorrow.

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 3
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 8

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 8
Matt McKnight: 8! (Supremely awesome shorty!)
Michael Gergen: 6
Mike Curry: 2

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 4
Cody Danberg: 2
Kyle Schmidt: 2
Rob Bordson: 1
Mike Montgomery: 1
Chad Huttel: 1
Evan Oberg: 0

On Notice:
Points
Evan Oberg
Jay Cascalenda
Matt Greer
Alex Stalock

Goals only
Travis Gawryletz
Trent Palm
Justin Fontaine
Cody Danberg
Jordan Fulton
Josh Meyers (really?)

30 November 2007

Baby, It's Cold Outside

tUMD 2, Sloth's Warriors 2

You know how, on C*O*P*S*, people whose identities are protected get their faces pixellated? Well, that technology should be utilized whenever Juttz's face is on TV. Because, really.

Did you know that, at presstime, it was 11 degrees Fahrenheit (or -12 degrees Celsius, for Matt McKnight et al.)?? Because, seriously, it feels like a zillion below (or -1.8 zillion C). Yikes!

I didn't watch very much of the game, because I was busy freezing in World Domination Class, but fear not! RWD emissaries were sent out into the world, and I received text messages LIVE from the game. Of course, I panicked majorly when we were down 0-2, and I also kept getting non-game-related text messages from people that made my hyperventilate, wondering if we had scored or if we had been scored on. Yarrrrrrrgh.

Not surprised at the tie, certainly glad it's not a loss. We're a Saturday night team, look for the W tomorrow night! I'll be doing stuff, or stuck in a snowbank, and will be missing out.

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 3
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 8! (W00t!)

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 8
Matt McKnight: 7
Michael Gergen: 6
Mike Curry: 2

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 4!
Cody Danberg: 2
Kyle Schmidt: 2!
Rob Bordson: 1
Mike Montgomery: 1
Chad Huttel: 1
Evan Oberg: 0

On Notice:
Points
Evan Oberg
Jay Cascalenda
Matt Greer

Goals only
Travis Gawryletz
Alex Stalock
Trent Palm
Justin Fontaine
Cody Danberg
Jordan Fulton

27 November 2007

The Gauntlet: Myopic Edition

This week, RWD interviews the BLIND OLD HAG who writes Let's Go Mavs. I don't know what's wrong with her, and why she can't see the hottness that is Michael Gergen.

RWD: How long have you been a Mavs fan?

LGM: Since 2000 when I graduated from MSUM [which was then known as Mankato State University]. I only went to a handful of games when I was in college (when it was FREE) and became obsessed once I was alumni and had to pay.

RWD: That seems like a smart move. [Glad LGM is not my financial advisor.]

LGM: I think so. I became a solid Maverick fan when I was living in St. Cloud, fresh out of college. I went to some games at the NHC and thought "no way in HELL am I cheering for anyone else!" Plus, I couldn't be a SCSU fan because I have all my teeth [so, sadly, there's no need for a purple and yellow grill!] and no snowmobile clothes [On sale at Fleet Farm!].

RWD: I heard you were a closet SCSU fan.

LGM: No, I used to HATE SCSU. Heather and I used to have to sit with a person between us so we wouldn't kill each other at the games. I'm over that now, thanks to Motz. Now I just hate the Sioux. [See, that's why the nickname is controversial! It looks like LGM is racist, but is in fact just referring to the team! Sioux are people, not nicknames!]

RWD: Why do you like Motz so much?

LGM: Because he's not Craig Dahl! Also, he's a nice guy even though he still wears Guess? Jeans. [Jeez, Brand Whore!] I met him a couple of years back when I was working at a career fair at SCSU. He asked if I was a Husky fan and I said "No way in hell. I'm a Maverick fan all the way!" He laughed and said "Well, thanks for supporting the WCHA!" [Then LGM licked him.] He's a good guy. He's done good things at SCSU [Who cares? Screw them!]. I wish MSUM would have hired him and canned Jutting when word was out he wanted to leave the Gophers.

RWD: Guess? is making a comeback, you know.

LGM: No. It. Is. Not. When I talked with Jutting a couple of summers ago, he admitted he had Guess? jeans too. I said "My god! Don't wear them!" and his wife cracked up at me. I had consumed MANY adult beverages and was actually joking around and being nice to the [badonkadonk]head.

RWD: Why would you want Jutting to be fired? Isn't he a great coach who is competitive with teams of similar means? [According to the AD at MSUM!]

LGM: Why would I want him fired? My god... I don't have the hours to go on and on about that! He is a TOTALLY inept coach. He's in way over his head. He runs crappy plays, treats his players like dirt, and is very unprofessional. I'm waiting for the day that he falls out of the box when he's spazzing and does the floppy croppie on the ice with blood pouring out of his forehead from busting a vein in rage. THAT will be a quality show.

RWD: You didn't get a good enough show when he went after Campion last year?

LGM: Nope. I'm waiting for the full on spaz out with him laid out on the ice. Gross. I just said I wanted to see Jutts laid out. UGG! I'm going to gag now.

RWD: Who would you propose replace him? If he ever goes? [Juttz is the Strom Thurmond of college hockey.]

LGM: Hmm, not sure. I guess I would have to take a good look around D-1 hockey for coaches and see what's out there. I would probably choose an assistant from another WCHA team.

RWD: John Hill comes to mind... [or the Dahlie Lama!]

LGM: [TARNATION] NO. He would not be an option. EVER. That guy is cursed.

RWD: One major complaint about Juttz that is actually related to the HOCKEY game and not his personal grossness is the, um, physicality of his teams. Is that coached?

LGM: I think it partially is. I think he coaches the guys to be hard nosed players, but then I also think the guys get sick of the plays not working and end up being more physical out of frustration. [Maybe they should be better, then.] Plus, I think the team gets more penalties because of Jutting's non-stop bitching at the refs.

RWD: Doesn't he think that maybe "clutch and grab" could be replaced with "skate and score?"

LGM: Jutting doesn't think.

RWD: I see. You have such a wonderful relationship with the coaching staff, and an even better relationship with certain members of the WCHA blogging community. You and Donald are best friends, aren't you?

LGM: Yeah. Friends with benefits. HA! Kidding. Donald. Hmm... I just won't go there. We tolerate each other, for the most part. Also, I'm ok with the other MSUM coaches. Jutting is the only jerk on "my list".

RWD: FYI, "Going there" makes for better content. And opens the site up for a good-natured debate! [Or a bloodbath of EPIC!!!! {tm FHG} proportions! Let's get this party started!]

LGM: So you want me to talk about how psychotic I think Donald is? I could get out my DSM-IV [the manual used to diagnose mental disorders] and give him a solid diagnosis. It's just not normal to go off on people the way he does for no particular reason. Don't be surprised if someday there's a headline in the paper "Crazed UAA blogger chops other blogger into a million pieces and feeds his dog" [That headline writer would probably be fired for being too wordy. I would write something like UAA Blogger Kills Colleague, Feeds Dog Remains]

RWD: I don't know if Donald has a dog, but he may get one just to spite you.

LGM: He would probably eat the other blogger himself then. He would eat it as BBQ sandwiches, like on Fried Green Tomatoes.

RWD: By “other blogger,” do you mean you?

LGM: Could be... if I'm the one to piss him off. Plus, I've heard that Donald wants to eat me. HA! Gross. Naw, he's more likely to eat Goon or Heather before me.

RWD: Unless he likes Rocky Road. [If you read my blog and the comments regularly, you'll understand. If you don't, well, you'll get yours.]

LGM: That's right. He was more interested in how MEg tasted so maybe he'll eat her. With some favre beans. [Some what?]

RWD: You're also popular among UND fans, after last year.

LGM: That's right. Everyone loves me! I just say what's on my mind and don't give a rip if people like me or not... so that tends to make some people mad. Goon is the one who sent the rabid UND fans my way and he talked a bunch of smack about me [Oh, that crazy Goon!] but look: he loves me now! Oh well! Love me or hate me!

RWD: Can't someone just like you? Or be neutral? There are only 2 choices?

LGM: I've got one of those personalities that you're not neutral on. Love or hate.

RWD: So do you tell the MSUM players to love you or hate you when you are out on the "prowl?"

LGM: No, I don't tell them that. They either love me or hate me. Ok... or are maybe scared of me! Clarky, Kilburg, Hot RJ, and Berge? Love me! Hanson? Pretty sure he hates me. Kalinski? Pretty sure the kid is scared of me! Ok, maybe Hot RJ is a little scared of me too. Oh, and I'm pretty sure Wagner hates me too. Oh well, you can't win them all!

RWD: A lot of people are scared of cougars.

LGM: Sometimes I think word is "THAT is Blog Girl. Don't piss her off!" Hey now, I am not a cougar. I'm not even old enough. Plus, these players are just kids! [A cougar’s favorite prey! Barely legal muscular men!] No way would I ever hit on any of them. I just like to chat them up about hockey and their life. I'm an obsessed fan.

RWD: Them being "just kids" doesn't stop some cougars.

LGM: Well, that would be for people who are actual cougars. LGM is NOT a cougar.

RWD: That's a tragedy. What can tUMD players and fans expect from the Mavs this weekend?

LGM: Expect to see at least one short handed goal from my boy Kalinski. You know those long passes UMD likes to make [or, at least, attempt!]? Well, chances are he'll pick off a lot of them. Also expect to see at least 3 goals from Berge. That kid is on fire and he's going to make Stalock look like a pee wee goalie. For the fans, be ready for a rockin' good time at the Alltel Center. Remember, we like to have fun and serve alcohol, so bring your money! Also, be sure to hit up Blue Bricks before or after the game. It's a good place to mingle with Maverick fans. Be nice to us and we'll be nice to you. Oh, and if you go to Buffalo Wild Wings, make sure to get a Dirty Girl Scout shot. No trip to Kato is complete without it! Also, say out of Mettlers. That's just nasty! [DHG would beg to differ.]

RWD: I don't expect to even see 4 goals from the Mavs this weekend, but okay.

LGM: Dream on. [Dreams do come true!] I think the Mavs will have Stalock's number after he sucker punched Harrison last year. Punk. Plus, we'll probably get ANOTHER goal from one of your players! Who will that be now that Nisky is gone?!?

RWD: We used that up last weekend, so sorry. Will Justin Morneau be there? [Stalking antenna up!]

LGM: Not that I know of. He was at last year's game though. [Um, duh, that’s why I asked.] Too bad he didn't bring his hot [badonkadonk] roomie Joe Mauer with! You would think Joe would have come to the game last year, since Justin was there, and since he's friends with Kilburg from high school. Word has it that Justin is engaged now. [Please, that gossip is STALE, woman!]

RWD: So, do you think Juttz smokes up with the Mavs players, or do they do it separately?

LGM: Jutts smokes by himself. Why would anyone want to be around him? Plus, he's too stuck on himself to be around others...especially players. Hell, he won't even ride the team bus. He's an [badonkadonk]. Plus, I don't think any of the players smoke. A few years back you could tell a lot of the players did but they're all gone now. This group, it doesn't appear that they're into smoking.

RWD: “Smoke up” is not referring to cigarettes.

LGM: Sure it is. My Mav boys are PERFECT and would not do illegal substances, do not swear, do not have sex before marriage, and are basically angels. [No, no. Those are the UND players!]

RWD: So who are the hottest of those "angels?"

LGM: Well, Hot RJ of course. He's not just your typical hot guy. He's model hot. Meow! (Ok, now that made me sound like a cougar). Kilburg is also a good looking kid...as is Zach and Tormey. Also, Mouillierat has some sort of sex appeal about him. Oh, and Kurt Davis too. He's short and has wild curly hair but something about him is sexy. I guess there's a reason the ladies call him "Dirty Kurty"! Overall, the Mavs are a good looking team. Their roster pix don't do them justice at all.

RWD: They never do.

LGM: True.

RWD: Where do you predict the Mavs finishing this season?

LGM: Well, I was pretty optimistic preseason and thought 6th. However, they aren't quite clicking so now I'm worried so I'll say 8th. If we finish last I'll shoot myself. [I'll hold the shotgun!]

RWD: The Mavs are sort of in an odd position, it seems like they've hardly played any games.

LGM: Right, and they've been all road games but one, so it's really hard to tell.

RWD: They had a very weird opening month. I mean, who does scrimmages?

LGM: Jutting. It's HIS job to line up the preseason games and of course he let the ball drop. Cripes, I read the other day that Motzko is working on his 2011-2012 non-conference games. Five bucks says Jutting hasn't even though about next year. He's too busy burning up heaters and thinking about himself. Not playing any games before starting WCHA play killed us.

RWD: Maybe Jutting tried, but no one wanted to play him. He was probably trying to pretend he was tDon and refused to travel.

LGM: I don't blame people for not wanting to play with Jutting. You couldn't pay me enough to play with him EVER. I would die first.

RWD: You said "play with Jutting" *shudder*

LGM: I know. I gagged a little when I typed it.

RWD: Is this gross? "I'm only going to donate [to MEg's stupid raffle] if I'm guaranteed Robby's mask. Then I will lick the insides."

LGM: As in Rob Nolan? Ok... he's hot and all but licking the inside of a mask is beyond nasty!

RWD: I'm gross. [I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking.] How about a weekend prediction?

LGM: Split. Mavs 4-1 on Friday. Dogs 3-2 on Saturday. Oh, and of course there will be a big fight. The last 2 UMD/MSUM games I've seen had huge fights at the end. Last year in Mankato and then the year before in Duluth. That was the best hockey fight I've ever seen. Ryan McKelvie and some red headed guy from your team really went at it. The linesmen had to LAY on them to control them. Ah, good times.

Good times, indeed. I want a sweep!

Checking In

Just thought I'd see what some old Bulldog favorites are up to...

Tim Stapleton: Viime kausi: Saapui Jokereihin koeajalla, joka muuttui nopeasti vuoden sopimukseksi, pelasi Jani Ritan ohella joukkueen kaikki ottelut kauden aikana 16.01 minuutin keskiarvolla, oli 48 (19+29) pisteellä joukkueen kolmanneksi tehokkain pelaaja runkosarjassa, ainoastaan Wayne Thompson, Otakar Janecky ja Glen Metropolit ovat olleet Jokereiden ulkomaalaisista tehokkaampia ensimmäisillä kausillaan, pudotuspeleissä Stapleton oli joukkueen piste- ja maalipörssin jaettu ykkönen kymmenellä pisteellä ja kuudella maalilla, ensimmäisenä ammattilaisvuotenaan SM-hopeaa.

Evan Schwabe: Tehnyt paljon pisteitä uransa aikana kaikissa pelaamissaan joukkueissa. Koostaan huolimatta terrierimäinentaistelija. Liikkuu ja laukoo hyvin. Nykysääntöjen ja ison jääalueen pitäisi suosia Evanin pelityyliä hyvin.

TJ Caig gets interviewed:
größter sportlicher Erfolg: niederländischer Meister mit Nijmegen 2006, Aufstieg in die 2. Bundesliga mit den Heilbronner Falken 007
Lieblings- bzw. Hass-...
-essen: Meeresfrüchte*/ Bohnen
-getränk: Red Bull/ Kaffee
-eishalle: Lavatec Arena/ Peiting, Grafing, Miesbach - die waren alle schlimm ;-)
-band: 80s und alter Rock’n Roll/ Rap
Hobbys: Fischen, wakeboarden
Familienstand: In einer Beziehung
Berufsabschluss: Eishockeyprofi
Welches Auto fährst du bzw. willst du mal fahren? Zu Hause fahre ich einen Jeep, ich würde aber auch gern mal Bentley fahren.
Wenn du einen Tag im Körper des anderen Geschlechts stecken würdest, was würdest du machen? Ich würde mit der Mannschaft duschen gehen (grinst).
Wenn du einen Wunsch frei hättest, was würdest du dir wünschen? Ich würde mir wünschen glücklich und gesund zu sein und zu bleiben.
Wer ist dein Lieblingskomiker? Larry the Cable Guy
Welche Person würdest du gerne mal kennen lernen? Donald Trump
Wie oft bist du in deinem Leben schon umgezogen? Ca. achtmal
Wo bist du aufgewachsen? Vancouver

Well. Keep it up, guys! Ich liebe Dich!

*Meeresfrüchte means "sea fruits" according to Babelfish.

24 November 2007

Split Second

tUMD 4, Chicken Dancers 2

I think the chicken dance contest should have been between the teams. That would have been sweet.

It's not normal for me to do two game recaps in the same day, as I usually like to have them done right after games, but yesterday I was very, very tired. I worked at 6:00 yesterday morning, so I was totally beat by the time the game was over. I hate working retail. Does anyone out there want to give me a job? My qualifications include: super genius, brilliant at everything, outstanding writer, and superb comic timing.

Still, it's weird to write this recap. I feel like I just wrote it.

I'm much happier to write this recap, that's for darn sure! tDogs played better hockey tonight, and it sounds like the defencemen certainly stepped it up. Alex Stalock was on his game, and luck was on our side. Really, we didn't just win this game through hard work and skill, but no one does. The 3rd goal, a fluke from center ice that just hopped the stick of JPL, sort of cancelled out UND's 3rd goal last night, a goal attributed to Brad Miller, who wasn't even on the ice when the puck crossed the line. It's just nice to get the bounces sometimes.

PP was not good. Mike Curry was on the PK, though!

Other things happened. I don't know. The game wasn't on B2, so I wasn't able to watch. I am certainly proud of the Dogs, though. Losing 8-3 can be demoralizing, but they came back ready to win. That was our first win in North Dakota since it joined the United States in 1889.

On a poor note, WCHA teams weren't so strong in non-conference series this weekend. Come on, you guys, we need you to win to help our PWR! Because we're actually relevant this year! Yeah 'Dogs!!

Next on the chopping block: Mankato. Look for the first Gauntlet in quite awhile! Also, I hope to see Andrew Carroll back soon!

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 3! (Should be surpassed by winter break!)
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 9!

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 8!
Matt McKnight: 7!
Michael Gergen: 6 (The only one of My Guys not to score, but he had a point last night!)
Mike Curry: 2!

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 3
Cody Danberg: 2!
Rob Bordson: 1
Kyle Schmidt: 1
Mike Montgomery: 1
Chad Huttel: 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Evan Oberg: 0 (INJ, and will CERTAINLY be getting points when he gets back!)

On Notice:
Points
Evan Oberg
Jay Cascalenda
Andrew Carroll
Matt Greer
Jordan Fulton

Goals only
Jason Garrison
Travis Gawryletz
Alex Stalock
Trent Palm
Justin Fontaine
Cody Danberg

Lithium

UMD 3, Ref Complainers 8

What kind of a fanbase whines about officiating when their team wins by 5 goals? UND Blogger Goon should be ashamed of himself. Evidently, Sioux fans are only satisfied when zero penalties are called on the Sioux and their opponent is down 2 men for the entire game. Plus, since the UND PP was pretty much crap last night, I would think they wouldn't want to showcase that too much. Not that they'd ever give our PK any credit.

Yeah, I know, I sound like a sore loser right now. It's not that. I just hate playing this series. I resent the implication by many of the UND fans that we don't even deserve to play their team, that we should just roll over and die because our team is worthless and the only team worth their time is UMTC, with whom they are obsessed. I really wish that tDogs could have shown that we were better than that, and for moments during the game, they did. I felt like I developed acute bipolar disorder during the course of the game.

There are five parts to this game. I will divide and conquer.

The first 6 or so minutes of the game were fine. It didn't seem like much was going on. Blah blah blah.

Then UND scored 3 goals in 1:23, including a goal that didn't take any skill on their part, just garbage play on our part, 45 seconds after our timeout. I was crabby beyond belief at this point. My cat was cowering in fear.

With 3 seconds left in the period, Nick Kemp scored ON THE POWER PLAY. FINALLY, A POWER PLAY GOAL! RAISE A BANNER! (Wait, this isn't St. Cloud.) To start the 2nd period, we scored 2 more goals in the first 5 minutes, including Kyle Schmidt's first Bulldog goal (!!!) and Mike Montgomery's first assist (!!!), and it was tied. I was on top of the world. My 'Dogs had shown they could come back with a vengeance.

Then it was 4-3, and then 5-3, and I was still pretty much okay, thinking you know, at least we fought a good fight, and that stupid crap goal was no longer the GWG.

When it became 6-3, I was back to pissed off again. And then the rest of the game happened, and then I lay siege on Tokyo.








Photo: Associated Press.

I'm hoping we can come back tonight and play well defensively as well as offensively. We're a Saturday night team, and I know we can recover! Let's split it, 'Dogs!!

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 4
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 11

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 7
Michael Gergen: 6!
Matt McKnight: 5
Mike Curry: 1

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 3!
Cody Danberg: 1
Rob Bordson: 1
Kyle Schmidt: 1!!!!!!!!
Mike Montgomery: 1!!!!!!!!
Chad Huttel: 0
Evan Oberg: 0 (INJ)

On Notice:
Points
Evan Oberg
Jay Cascalenda
Andrew Carroll
Matt Greer
Cody Danberg
Jordan Fulton

Goals only
Drew Akins
Jason Garrison
Travis Gawryletz
Alex Stalock
Trent Palm
MacGregor Sharp
Justin Fontaine

22 November 2007

The Ultimate Fan

From today's Duluth News Tribune, an article about Dick Stewart, founder of Stewart's Bikes and Sports, and one of tUMD's most dedicated fans.

CLICK ON THIS LINK. I know people ignore links all the time, but read this story. It's so heartwarming.

I want the 'Dogs to win this weekend, for this guy, and for all the dedicated fans who support them whether they sweep or get swept.

Eat some turkey, folks.

18 November 2007

Put 'Em On The Glass

tUMD 4, tMTU 1

It's not really what it looks like. We really won 2-1, with 2 ENGs, which is fine, because a win's a win no matter how you get it. Our win is JUST as valuable as Denver's 7-0 whomping of MSUM (vengeance for the 8-7 embarrassment of a few years ago?), if not more valuable, as a win over Tech is more helpful in the PWR. And man, am I glad that we can consider PWR again!

Last night, we went for a little change of pace and sat on the glass next to the penalty box. It's not exactly the greatest place to sit, as your view is limited in a few place, but it's also a great feeling to be down on ice level for the glass-rattling hits. Or to see Jason Garrison almost fall into the visitor's penalty box because the door flew open. I wouldn't recommend sitting down there often, as I had a distorted view of every goal except the empty netters, but it's so cool when the action's in your end. I could see the intensity of Matt McKnight's face on the face-off, and I could see Gawryletz's weird mulletesque hair in all its glory.

The major problem with our seats was not the view, but the company. I know people have complaints about a lot of annoying things, like people blocking your view or asking dumb questions ("Who is Huffer Christiansen?" Jeez, what are we teaching in those schools?), so my complaint is minor, but this dude behind me was ripping on Mike Curry. Not cool. I was really hoping for Big Mike to get a goal or an assist or something so I could substantiate my claims of Curry Supremacy, but except for one bone-jarring hit on one of his first shifts, and a penalty for high-sticking (My response: "It's not fair! He's just tall!"), he didn't do much to distinguish himself.

My big complaint this game is with... can you guess? THE POWER PLAY. Oh my god. It's not good, and we had better get it straightened out before we go to Grand Forks. My first suggestion is: Matt McKnight needs to GET OFF THE POINT. Put someone on there who can hold the zone. Of course, Matt McKnight is one of My Guys, so this isn't a direct criticism of him, but merely a suggestion on where to play him to his potential. Now, we did have some great chances on the PP, but we got a 5 on 3 for 1:15 and zippo. Tech scored 2 power plays, and their own FANS admitted their PP sucks. We did get a VERY nice delayed penalty goal which I never thought would happen.

One of the zambonis died on the rink between the first and second periods, and crapped snow all over the ice. It was funny.

After the game was fun. I ate some pizza, stalked some dads (hi, Mr. Fulton!), and licked MEg. A good time was had by all.

The drive home today was very annoying. Once we got closer to the Cities, we ran into a bunch of people hauling ATVs/dead deer/snowmobiles/small churches. I would compare our situation to trying to leg out a Texas League double with Frank Thomas, Jason Phillips, and Prince Fielder on the basepaths ahead of me. Yargh. We had a very nice stay at a place called the Firelight Inn, which is not too far away from the RWD Ancestral Home (located at 21st and E. Superior). Nothing says romance like Bulldog hockey and a bed and breakfast! I would certainly recommend the place for anyone visiting Duluth. It's not dirt cheap or anything, but it's beautiful, quiet, and the breakfast is grubbin'. The folks who run it are extremely nice, and you get every amenity you'll get at a hotel and then some.

I'm glad to be home, and I'm glad my first Bulldog series of the season resulted in three points! This coming weekend, we'll probably see new levels of whining from the UND fans. I can't wait to see what kind of heinous behavior they will defend this week.

Speaking of heinous behavior, here's the Mattias Ohlund slash on Mikko Koivu from Friday night's Wild game. A four game suspension is a slap on the wrist compared to what Ohlund deserves. (If Kyle Radke had done this to, say, Michael Gergen, it would be considered "gritty play," or "Gergen deserved it," or "The Bulldogs should wear tutus and dance like hippos if they don't want to get slashed in the back of the leg, this is HOCKEY!") Koivu is one of My Guys in pro hockey (along with Mark Parrish), and you just don't mess with one of my guys. Although no one deserves to be slashed like that.

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 4!
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 11!

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 7!
Matt McKnight: 5!
Michael Gergen: 5!
Mike Curry: 1 (But his mere presence in the game cemented our win!)

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 3
Cody Danberg: 1
Rob Bordson: 1
Everyone else: 0

On Notice:
Points
Evan Oberg
Kyle Schmidt
Jay Cascalenda
Andrew Carroll
Matt Greer
Cody Danberg

Goals only
Drew Akins
Nick Kemp (but getting plenty of chances! Especially shorthanded!)
Jason Garrison
Travis Gawryletz
Alex Stalock
Trent Palm
MacGregor Sharp

17 November 2007

Key To The Game

Okay, I rarely outline specific tactics for tDogs, but tonight, I would like to see ONE THING changed.

Short passes.

Because seriously, no more icings!

Give Up The Funk

Well, at least it wasn't a 0-0 tie. Jeez. That was a rough game to sit through, and normally I am very pumped about hockey. BUT, I can't get pumped about hockey when there are so many icings, there IS no hockey! It was a total joke. If I were a student section leader, I'd be chanting "No More Icings!" I'd also be chanting "Painkillers, Painkillers!" at Teslak.

The power play. Oh man. It's not good. We had better scoring chances shorthanded. And weird people are being put out on the power play. Do we even have power play units, or do we just jumble up the lines and still play just about everyone on the team? I won't name names here, because I do love my Bulldogs, but seriously, there are people out there on the power play who SHOULD NOT BE ON THE POWER PLAY. I would not have been surprised to see Nate Ziegelmann on the point. Jeez.

Observation of the night
"What did Sandelin say to the WCHA to make us deserve not one Shepherd, but two? Is Greg in the pressbox watching?" -DHG

Quotation of the night
"Minor penalty charged to Michigan Tech's #4, Mark Malekoff, 2 minutes for cross-dressing." -Howie

I'm hoping that tonight tDogs will get a fatty-boom-batty W, with Mike Curry and Rob Bordson in the lineup, each pledging to score a goal for me! At the Bulldog Club lunch yesterday, I was going to ask Coach Sandelin about Curry, but I lost the nerve during the Q&A portion (of which there were no Qs, and thus no As, about anything), and then when he was done talking, he was busy talking to the mayor or something. I did eat 2 helpings of the buffet, which was awesome. It was sort of weird being there, as everyone else there was a businessman or a senior citizen.

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 5
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 13!

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 6!
Matt McKnight: 4 (A couple of good chances, though)
Michael Gergen: 4!
Mike Curry: 1 (Would be adding a hat trick if he'd been playing!)

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 3
Cody Danberg: 1
Rob Bordson: 1
Everyone else: 0

On Notice:
Points
Travis Gawryletz
Alex Stalock
Evan Oberg
Trent Palm
Kyle Schmidt
Jay Cascalenda
Andrew Carroll

Goals only
Drew Akins
Cody Danberg
Nick Kemp
Jason Garrison

15 November 2007

X-Post

I wrote for tTech Hockey Blog, where I was not allowed to use lowercase ts.

It's brilliant.

11 November 2007

Be My Guest

As I was very busy with the RWD staff on Saturday night, I asked a few Bulldog fans to help me out with the game recapping.

tUMD radio play-by-play announcer Bruce Ciskie was the first resource I tapped for information.

3-0 CC final. I will discuss it no more.

Thanks, Bruce. You're so informative.

tPenalty Box legend Beersong was MUCH more helpful.

The Bulldogs gave a great effort tonight, but fell to the CC Tigers 3-0. The first period saw the Tigers take a 1-0 lead and tDogs just couldn’t get one by their brick wall Bachman. The second period was a snoozer and allowed time for me to check out two of my favorite football teams, the North Dakota State Bison and the Kansas Jayhawks, both of whom were victorious. Seriously though, the second period was brutal. The third started great as the Bulldogs appeared to have tied it up with a Cody Danberg goal. It was ruled a goal on the ice, but was disallowed after replay showed a Bulldog player interfered with Bachman. Was he pushed into him?? I don’t know. But it sucks as it killed all momentum. And the wheels then fell off as CC added a goal from right in the wheelhouse and one on a breakaway to put the game away 3-0. There was a sweet promotion tonight at World Arena as fans were encouraged to dress as empty seats. There was great participation by the hometown fans as it made the place look half full. Way to go! And floating, bouncing CC Tiger logo got the night off. He was replaced by stoic, still CC Tiger logo. tDogs have a big matchup next weekend at tDECC as Michigan Tech comes to town. Leave the cowbells in tUP.

On another football note, the FIGHTING ILLINI took out #1 ranked tOSU! Most excellent!

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 5
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 14

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 5
Matt McKnight: 4
Michael Gergen: 3
Mike Curry: 1

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 3
Cody Danberg: 1 (I SHOULD be adding another one!)
Rob Bordson: 1
Everyone else: 0

On Notice:
Points
Travis Gawryletz
Alex Stalock
Evan Oberg
Trent Palm
Kyle Schmidt
Jay Cascalenda
Josh Meyers
Andrew Carroll

Goals only
Drew Akins
Cody Danberg
Nick Kemp
Jason Garrison

10 November 2007

5

tUMD 3, CC's stupid annoying logo 5

I am really finding it ironic I'm posting more during this alleged hiatus than I did when I wasn't on hiatus. But, so what?

5 is the name of the game. 5 goals against. 5 minute power play we couldn't capitalize, then a 5 minute major on us that resulted in a 5 on 3 for CC (which we killed off!). Number 5 takes 3 penalties (one resulted in a PP goal, one resulted in a SH).

Ok, special teams, you and I need to have a talk. About scoring. On the power play. Especially a 5 minute major. That's supposed to be a free-for-all, and while there were moments of goodness, there were not moments of greatness and puck in the back of the net-ness.

Welcome back, Gergzilla! We missed you!

That's enough for tonight. I'm definitely going to miss every second of tomorrow's game, so I'm going to be stressin'. Let's have a repeat of last weekend's Saturday comeback!

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 5
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 14

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 5
Matt McKnight: 4!
Michael Gergen: 3 (But! Back in action!)
Mike Curry: 1 (DNP, which is a TRAVESTY!)

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 3!
Cody Danberg: 1
Rob Bordson: 1
Everyone else: 0

On Notice:
Points
Travis Gawryletz
Alex Stalock
Evan Oberg
Trent Palm
Kyle Schmidt

Goals only
Drew Akins
Cody Danberg
Nick Kemp

08 November 2007

Stalock, Stalock!

I know I said something about a hiatus, but I just can't quit you, baby.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Stalock Superfans. And here they are again.

*Warning* If you are lame and have no sense of humor or a strict moral code, just don't click.

06 November 2007

The Leg Bone's Connected To The... Uh-Oh

Bonjour, mes camarades! Sorry I've been gone so long. No, I wasn't out hunting deer, I was just busy, and now I'm horribly sick, and it was a bye week, so it's not like anyone was checking the site for updates. LGM did come visit me at work, which was excellent.


But! Bad things have happened! Well, one bad thing. One Very Bad Thing: freshman defenceman/Jedi Master Evan "Obi-wan" Oberg was injured in practice. Read the article. He dislocated his fibula, tore ankle tendons, and fractured his tibia. See the anatomical diagram below (note, Evan injured his left leg, and this is a picture of the bones of the right leg. But I assure you, they're the same. Except his are jacked up.)

[I took out the photo that used to be here because I was getting way too many hits on the site because of it.]

Anyway, this is highly uncool, as tDogs have had such a strong defence (with the exception of the Friday Denver game) due in large part to Oberg's mastery of the force.

RWD posting this weekend will be light, as I will be attending an in-depth Bulldog Fandom Symposium with the RWD staff and affiliates. I probably won't get around to updating My Guys and recapping the games until Sunday or possibly even Monday. The BONUS is that I will be IN DULUTH Thursday-Sunday for some MOST EXCELLENT good times. And a 'Dogs sweep of Michigan Tech.

Here's to going 4-0-0 in the next two weeks! W00t!

29 October 2007

If I Were A Check From Behind, And You Were A Referee...

...would you call me anyway?

We've got an off-weekend coming up, and that give me a whole stress-free week to just have some fun! Often times, when bloggers are totally out of ideas interested in a new perspective, they do a "roundtable" or "blogpoll." This is nothing like that.

I sent an email to certain members of the hockey community asking, "If you were a penalty, what would you be?" The result is a glimpse into the psyche of hockey fans, and it's a bit scary.

"Interference, because I don't see why I shouldn't be able to check anybody anytime I want, and I take those liberties in NHL 2003. Checking is fun. It should be encouraged, and not discouraged by having 'penalties' for checking someone away from the play." BadgerBacker, from The Wisconsin Hockey Blog

"I would be five for fighting and a game misconduct." Goon, from Goon's World

"A la the Boogeyman, I'd be a five minute major for fighting combined with a game misconduct for being the biggest bad-ass on the ice." Roy, from Wild Puck Banter

"I'd have to be boarding. After all, I've been told for years that I bore people to death." Bruce Ciskie, UMD play-by-play announcer and writer of The Ciskie Blog

"Checking from behind, and I think you know why..." HockeyMom, UND fan

"I would be Abuse of Officials because I'm convinced there are very few refs who know their asses from their elbows... and I often want to or in fact do abuse officials! Video evidence of my theory. That clip came from a junior game in Sweden in which the player was called for Abuse of Officials because the ref tripped over the player." Catie, from Hockey in Colorado

"My first thought is that I'd be a 5 minute major for slashing, mostly because I think it's something players get caught for after someone slashed them first. I'm a big believer in the old Cold-War doctrine of 'massive retaliation.' If I perceive you've dropped a bomb on me, then you better be prepared for a bigger bomb coming back atcha. My second choice would be a too many men on the ice, which would be an adequate metaphor of my tendency to use more words than necessary. My third choice would be unsportsmanlike conduct because if it comes down to it and I'm standing on the bench behind the team, I'll toss every stick I can reach onto the ice in order to make a point." Donald Dunlop from UAA Hockey Fan Blog

"I would want to say hooking because I've always aspired to be a hooker... but then tripping would be a good one too since I've never tripped off anything in my life... oh and then checking from behind is good too because taking anything from behind sounds SO dirty... Dang! How's a gal to choose?" Let's Go Mavs from Let's Go Mavs

"Holding the stick or roughing... because... well, I like it rough." MeanEgirl, from Michigan Tech Hockey Blog

"Hooking. It seems to me that this is the penalty of all those scrappy little guys who are just trying to even it up and slow someone down a little bit. I LOVE those scrappy little guys and I like to think I'm a little scrappy (I think I could take down someone bigger than me), so I'm going with HOOKING!" WinTwins57 from Win Twins

"Instigating. Because I am awesome at it." Dirty from Dirty's Diatribe

Hacks that didn't reply: DG, Swami, DA, WCH

And what would RWD be? I think it's obvious I'd be unsportsmanlike conduct, of the 10 minute variety, as I have a way with words.

28 October 2007

No Quarter

tUMD 3, Pioneers zippo

(The lateness of this post may or may not have something to do with the Ice Road Truckers marathon I may or may not have watched on the History Channel, to make sure my IRT BF Jay didn't get stuck or fall through the ice.)

I love my 'Dogs. They always know just what I want for my birthday. Did I, or did I not, go on USCHO and claim that tDogs were going to win yesterday? I did predict a 5-2 win, but a SHUTOUT is even better. As long as they don't think I'm 30, because seriously, then my life would be over.

I'm sad that I missed the game, but, as certain RWD Super Special Insiders were aware, I was busy terrorizing the galaxy as Darth Vader. I'm SO PROUD of the Dogs for recovering from Friday night's "difficulties" to play solid D and get a shutout. I'd still like to see us take fewer penalties, but the PK unit was up to the task, and Al was solid gold soul. Now that the freshmen have broken onto the scoreboard, they will be unstoppable. Bordson seems to be angling for a My Guys inclusion next year. We shall see...

tDogs are off next weekend, which makes me sad, since I'd be able to watch both games. CC had better be ready for us to kill them.

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 5!
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 14!

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 5!
Michael Gergen: 3 (INJ)
Matt McKnight: 2
Mike Curry: 1

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 2!
Cody Danberg: 1!
Rob Bordson: 1!
Everyone else: 0

On Notice:
Points
Travis Gawryletz
Alex Stalock
Evan Oberg
Kyle Schmidt
Matt McKnight

Goals only
Drew Akins
Trent Palm
Cody Danberg
Justin Fontaine

26 October 2007

Defying Gravity

So you can't bring me down.

tUMD 1, Pioneers 5

Not so happy about tonight's game. It started out so well, DU scored but we answered less than a minute later! I was so pumped.

Something is wrong with my computer, and it keeps deleting what I write at random, so this is going to have to be short.

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 6
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 16

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 4
Michael Gergen: 3 (INJ)
Matt McKnight: 2
Mike Curry: 1

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 1!
Everyone else: sandbagging

On Notice:
Points
Travis Gawryletz
Alex Stalock
Evan Oberg
Kyle Schmidt
Rob Bordson
Cody Danberg

Goals only
Matt McKnight
Drew Akins
Trent Palm