Yesterday

I wrote this entry in class this morning, while I was waiting for the rest of the class to finish taking their midterms. I'm a very fast test-taker.

tUMD 1, Dirty Hacks 3

Obviously, I'm dissatisfied with the outcome of last night's game. I mean, duh, we lost, that's never a fantastic thing. I hate giving up empty net goals; they're so demoralizing, especially when they come with so much time left in the game.

The real loss of the game, however, is the Very Handsome Jason Garrison. He allegedly has a broken leg and will allegedly be out for the rest of the season (Pates says so, but Sandy won't confirm), and I'm very sad. He's obviously an integral part of the team and one of our top 3 defencemen. The circumstances of the injury seemed a little strange, as it appeared Patrick Johnson smashed him from behind into the boards (at least, that was the audible reaction of Justin May, Renaissance Man) right after he lost an edge. Bruce goes on about it over on his site, so whatever, I don't need to repeat him. At any rate, we will miss his presence. DA pointed out perhaps a different defenceman would have been more expendable, because we'd have about three less penalties a game, but I think the whole D-corps responded nicely to their hardship and didn't take any interference penalties or anything. This is certainly a golden opportunity for Chase "Put Me In Coach!" Ryan or Chad "I Overstated My Height On The Roster" Huttel to step into a more regular role. What this means for Garrison, Gawryletz, and Montgomery's band is unknown. It all depends on if he is the drummer or not. If he's a guitarist, it's cool, because he can sit down and sing soulful ballads. I hope they write a song about me, and it's not derogatory.

I have to applaud Sandelin for taking such a huge risk by pulling Stalock with so much time left in the game, during a stoppage in play. It showed a lot of confidence in our guys, and especially in My Guy MacGregor Sharp, who won the face-off and gave us control of the puck. We had possession for quite awhile and some great chances before Wisconsin got control and scored their empty net goal.

The lone goal in the game came from Travis Gawryletz on the power play, which must have meant the moon was in the seventh house and Jupiter aligned with Mars. It was an awesome goal that I'm sure many other guys were jealous of: he was all alone on the backdoor and lifted the puck over Connelly's leg. I saw this because the game was randomly televised here in the Cities. I am so pleased to take TG Off Notice for the first time this season!

Other exciting news: Mike Curry returned to the lineup after a long absence due to injury!

Put 'Em On The Glass

tUMD 4, tMTU 1

It's not really what it looks like. We really won 2-1, with 2 ENGs, which is fine, because a win's a win no matter how you get it. Our win is JUST as valuable as Denver's 7-0 whomping of MSUM (vengeance for the 8-7 embarrassment of a few years ago?), if not more valuable, as a win over Tech is more helpful in the PWR. And man, am I glad that we can consider PWR again!

Last night, we went for a little change of pace and sat on the glass next to the penalty box. It's not exactly the greatest place to sit, as your view is limited in a few place, but it's also a great feeling to be down on ice level for the glass-rattling hits. Or to see Jason Garrison almost fall into the visitor's penalty box because the door flew open. I wouldn't recommend sitting down there often, as I had a distorted view of every goal except the empty netters, but it's so cool when the action's in your end. I could see the intensity of Matt McKnight's face on the face-off, and I could see Gawryletz's weird mulletesque hair in all its glory.

The major problem with our seats was not the view, but the company. I know people have complaints about a lot of annoying things, like people blocking your view or asking dumb questions ("Who is Huffer Christiansen?" Jeez, what are we teaching in those schools?), so my complaint is minor, but this dude behind me was ripping on Mike Curry. Not cool. I was really hoping for Big Mike to get a goal or an assist or something so I could substantiate my claims of Curry Supremacy, but except for one bone-jarring hit on one of his first shifts, and a penalty for high-sticking (My response: "It's not fair! He's just tall!"), he didn't do much to distinguish himself.

My big complaint this game is with... can you guess? THE POWER PLAY. Oh my god. It's not good, and we had better get it straightened out before we go to Grand Forks. My first suggestion is: Matt McKnight needs to GET OFF THE POINT. Put someone on there who can hold the zone. Of course, Matt McKnight is one of My Guys, so this isn't a direct criticism of him, but merely a suggestion on where to play him to his potential. Now, we did have some great chances on the PP, but we got a 5 on 3 for 1:15 and zippo. Tech scored 2 power plays, and their own FANS admitted their PP sucks. We did get a VERY nice delayed penalty goal which I never thought would happen.

One of the zambonis died on the rink between the first and second periods, and crapped snow all over the ice. It was funny.

After the game was fun. I ate some pizza, stalked some dads (hi, Mr. Fulton!), and licked MEg. A good time was had by all.

The drive home today was very annoying. Once we got closer to the Cities, we ran into a bunch of people hauling ATVs/dead deer/snowmobiles/small churches. I would compare our situation to trying to leg out a Texas League double with Frank Thomas, Jason Phillips, and Prince Fielder on the basepaths ahead of me. Yargh. We had a very nice stay at a place called the Firelight Inn, which is not too far away from the RWD Ancestral Home (located at 21st and E. Superior). Nothing says romance like Bulldog hockey and a bed and breakfast! I would certainly recommend the place for anyone visiting Duluth. It's not dirt cheap or anything, but it's beautiful, quiet, and the breakfast is grubbin'. The folks who run it are extremely nice, and you get every amenity you'll get at a hotel and then some.

I'm glad to be home, and I'm glad my first Bulldog series of the season resulted in three points! This coming weekend, we'll probably see new levels of whining from the UND fans. I can't wait to see what kind of heinous behavior they will defend this week.

Speaking of heinous behavior, here's the Mattias Ohlund slash on Mikko Koivu from Friday night's Wild game. A four game suspension is a slap on the wrist compared to what Ohlund deserves. (If Kyle Radke had done this to, say, Michael Gergen, it would be considered "gritty play," or "Gergen deserved it," or "The Bulldogs should wear tutus and dance like hippos if they don't want to get slashed in the back of the leg, this is HOCKEY!") Koivu is one of My Guys in pro hockey (along with Mark Parrish), and you just don't mess with one of my guys. Although no one deserves to be slashed like that.

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 4!
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 11!

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 7!
Matt McKnight: 5!
Michael Gergen: 5!
Mike Curry: 1 (But his mere presence in the game cemented our win!)

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 3
Cody Danberg: 1
Rob Bordson: 1
Everyone else: 0

On Notice:
Points
Evan Oberg
Kyle Schmidt
Jay Cascalenda
Andrew Carroll
Matt Greer
Cody Danberg

Goals only
Drew Akins
Nick Kemp (but getting plenty of chances! Especially shorthanded!)
Jason Garrison
Travis Gawryletz
Alex Stalock
Trent Palm
MacGregor Sharp

2-2, 2-2, 2-2

UMD Attack Dogs 2, Lake State Lakers 2.

Well, here we are folks, the long wait is over, the season is underway, and there's already controversy! Not in tDogs game, of course, but in the Gopher/RPI game, where the hometown call was in full effect. I don't want to get into it, as this is not a Gopher site, but I had the game on TV while I was watching tDogs, so I did see what went down. And it was UGLY.

Conversely, in the Bulldogs game, I wouldn't say the officiating was that poor. I mean, I may have raised my arm a few times when I felt the officials missed something, but I did appreciate the Bulldogs were allowed to play with a physicality unseen in the past few seasons. Kemper the Wrecker was breaking skulls all over the place, and overall the guys were playing the body a lot more. I can't wait to see what Mike Curry can do with the New Bulldogs. Elbows will be flying!

I was pretty disappointed with some of the first power plays, as I like to see a lot more shots on the power play, and for crying out loud, when you go into the corner with someone, YOU COME OUT WITH THE PUCK WHEN YOU HAVE THE MAN ADVANTAGE. You just do, okay? I don't care how you do it. But then I was placated with a power play goal, and our penalty kill kept the streak alive, so all in all, I'm pleased with the outcome. We did have some interesting PP units, as I saw Fontaine out there quite a bit (the B2 feed makes it hard to see 1. numbers on jerseys and 2. the puck, which is a bit challenging), but hey, we got a goal.

And the freshman. Oh mother, were they fun to watch! When I got the lineups for the game, I thought hmm... an all-freshman line... I don't know about that. Then I figured they'd just see limited ice time. And yet, they were out there regular-shifting (it seems... can't tell who was on the ice, remember?) and they seemed pretty good. We already know that I am a big fan of Rob Bordson (he is #15, and I tend to like players with #15!), but The Danberg is quickly becoming my favorite freshman. Those guys seemed to cycle fairly well and hustled. I felt they had a few pretty good scoring chances as well.

It was very, very wrong for there to be a player named Schwab (except, no e) from Saskatchewan playing, and have it not be the Almighty One.

Trent Palm = awesome. We are going to get so many freaking goals from the defencemen this year. Garrison was letting it rip, Chaser was letting it rip, Palm was letting it rip, Oberg is known to give some offensive production, Meyers has proven himself offensively already, and Gawryletz looks like a serial killer, so no one is going to score on him. We have not seen Chad Huttel yet, but I have heard he likes to bang around the body (The Hutt was also a halfback/middle linebacker for the Hawks), which I always appreciate.

Al made some crucial saves, but I could always, always, always use more rebound control and puck awareness. I'll never get tired of that, so don't stop, baby. I am overly critical of goalies, so I'm going to stop there, because seriously, what do I know?

My Guys played well, as they ALWAYS DO, for they are My Guys. MacGregor Sharp was a one-man playmaking machine, and he assisted on Trent Palm's goal, which was totally sweet and right off the face-off. I love goals like that, and I feel like we have the defencemen to score a lot of those. I love the element of surprise. Gergen created a scoring chance out of absolutely nowhere, and let me tell you, it is no surprise that Sharp and Gergzilla led the team with 5 shots apiece. Matt McKnight played to his usual Matt McKnight awesomeness, although he did not stand out as much as the other two. I probably should have taken notes on the game, as I'd have more to say. Mike Curry, as we all know, did not play. I can only assume that he would have had a hat trick and prevented both LSSU goals.

I am SO GLAD I am able to watch the games on TV now. Seriously, it has made recapping WAY more fun, and I can get a little more technical, although that is not my strong suit. $50 is SO worth it for the season pass!

Tomorrow's forecast will be a little late, as I have something going on all day, and then have to go in to work for an hour or so. I can't say that it will be all that exciting, excecpt that I'm not very happy Tech lost to Northern, as we don't need Northern to come in with any momentum. However, they do have to bus it over to Duluth, so that should wear them down a bit.

THE NUMBERS (back despite zero demand!)
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 8 (conference-only)
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 20 (ditto)

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 1
Everyone Else: Zipparoo

Freshmen:
Nobody scored... yet

On Notice (for those who don't know, people are On Notice when they go more than 4 games without a goal):
No one, obvs.

TOMORROW: Win! Win! Win! Let history repeat itself, copying last year's opening weekend! Then don't let history repeat itself ANYMORE, as the rest of the first half kind of sucked a lot.

Tales From The Northland

Okay, yes, I do realize I went to Duluth over a week ago, but I've been tired, people. Give a girl a break.

FIRST OF ALL, we must discuss the incredible 36.3 miles per gallon I got in my lovely and amazing Saturn, which also did not overheat at all. Brilliant. I guess that's all the discussion that is needed, except to say STOP DRIVING FREAKING HUMMERS AND SUVS AND CRAP LIKE THAT. Jeez. I sound like a freaking hippie. And that makes me feel dirty.

Okay, so last Sunday I jumped in the Wheels of Death and zipped up to Duluth (a bit behind schedule, but what's new?) I can only go so long without a.) visiting Duluth and b.) talking Bulldog hockey with a real live Bulldog fan. So I decided to visit the RWD Mobile Reporter, Gramps, as well as Gram (collectively known as The Folks).

After arriving on campus at tUMD, I thought that I saw a few Bulldog hockey players, but I might have just been projecting. Besides, short of a player coming up to me, introducing himself, and reminding me that he plays for tDogs, I wouldn't have a clue. So, no chance for any kind of stalking. One of the great tragedies of our time, no doubt.

So, after arriving at Heaney Hall to rendez-vous with the Mobile Reporter, we climbed into The Mothership Lincoln and headed down to Canal Park. There, we ran into a very rich old codger acquaintance of Gramps's (hint: there's a hockey arena named after him), and ended up in some exceptionally long movie about the Lighthouses of Isle Royale down at the Army Corps of Engineers museum. My god. It was so long. There should have been some sort of warning. We also visited the Duluth Pack store where I got some most excellent accessories (apparently I am either Bill or Ted now). We rounded out the day with a visit to the Lakeview Castle for "the best walleye" that the Folks had had "all summer." (I did not go to the Sports Garden. I'd never go there without FHG.)

Now, for the actual hockey content. We discussed the television situation in Duluth. According to Gramps, when they moved here from New Hampshire, they were told that the whole city essentially revolved around hockey. Obvs. there was nothing else to do in Duluth in those days. tUMD wasn't even in the WCHA back then, though they became a D-1 independent just after the Folks moved up to Duluth (or, as Gram thought of it at first, the end of the world). Already hockey fans from growing up watching high school hockey in Rhode Island and Massachusetts (yes, 65 years ago, they had high school hockey in New England), the Folks had season tickets to tUMD hockey for decades, starting at the old Curling Club (scene of excessive fraternity hijinx from other RWD correspondents, including former RWD Overseas Correspondent L and RWD East Coast correspondent H) and continuing once tDECC was built. Even the Most Excellent former Matriarch of the RWD family (my great-grandmother) had a season ticket for a few years. The RWD family is in its fourth generation of Bulldog hockey support.

Highlights from our conversation:

1. Gramps's friend was the guy who posted on the DNT message board that we need to fire Sandelin because tDogs have not had a winning season since '92. I asked him to remind said friend that tDogs did not have a losing season when they went to the Frozen Four.

2. Speaking of firing Sandelin, Gramps is not in favor. He believes (and I agree) that we need a coach that is either Canadian or has mucho Canadian connections, because we can't effectively recruit an entire competitive team out of the Northland. This is not a new revelation.

3. As a matter of fact, Gramps cancelled his season tickets one year when tUMD hired... um... what's his name... that fella from Grand Rapids whose name escapes me at this moment. Then, during some sort of scrimmage, he witnessed a young walk-on named Brett Hull show off his mad skillz, and promptly retrieved his season tickets, because he didn't want to miss out on the Brett Hull show.

4. During the Brett Hull years, Hull was on one line and current tUMD coach/party animal Bill Watson was on another, but they were always paired together during a 4 on 4 situation. According to Gramps, a 4 on 4 situation was "a goal for UMD" almost without fail. It's kind of a shame that I was too young to know what the heck was going on back then. It's kind of a shame our special teams situation has been a bit of a pain in the butt the past few years, especially 4 on 4.

5. Under the reign of terror of "So Long Ralphie" as they used to sing to coach Romano, tDogs employed a very Lemaire-esque defencive plan: get a 2 goal lead, and sit on the puck. Waste time. Don't even bother to do anything offensive, just hold the lead. It was not a very good strategy, evidently, nor was it very popular with the fans. Of course, the best way to get rid of a coach is to promote him. (Note: Romano was, according to my sources, a most excellent A.D. He just "wasn't a hockey coach.")

Though it was great to discuss hockey for awhile, it also reminded me of how much I miss the game. And, of course, of how excruciating it is to try to come up with content for this site during the long off-season.

I should note that tDogs selected their captains for 2007-08 at some point, though I was totally unaware. There was no press release (LARRY I AM LOOKING IN YOUR DIRECTION), and I just happend to look at the "fast facts" link on tUMD's website. RWD Guy Matt McKnight is our Fearless Leader for the upcoming season, with Andrew Carroll as his Boris and Travis Gawryletz as his Natasha (these roles are interchangeable, I'm not trying to say anything about anyone's masculinity here). tDogs have an opportunity to build on last year's, um, success if they can get strong leadership out of their juniors and seniors. Last year's upperclassmen really stepped it up and elevated their own play as well as that of their teammates, and I'll be expecting that again. I hope that Knighter and Carroll have full, healthy seasons this year, as a shoulder injury and post-concussive issues, respectively, sidelined the poor guys.

Look for a RWD press release in the near future naming My Guys for the upcoming season.

I Love The Internet

One of the great things about having my Rhino-Lining Hits counter (since the counter doesn't make sense anymore, since Rhino Lining evidently doesn't sponsor the bone-crushing hits tDogs dish out anymore) is seeing how people get to this lovely site. Most of the time, they're coming here from SiouxSports or USCHO or one of the other blogs, or for searching for something like "Bulldog Hockey" or "Runnin' with the Dogs." You know, things that make sense.

And then... well, RWD is a crossroads for many, many different searches on the internet that have nothing to do with hockey, or something to do with hockey, or something strange to do with hockey. Here are some examples:

Player-related
crazy canucks gorsalitz
robbie earl handsome
jordan parise hot
pictures of hothead naked ice borer
mike curry baseball
russ romaniuk game worn jerseys
jason garrisoncute
matt niskanen engineer
jason garrisonsexy
drew stafford shirtless
ryan berry shirtless photos
jonathan toews beer bong
josh meyers dimples
matt mcknight's cfl history
travis gawryletz do girls like him?
travis gawryletz hot or not

Semi-hockey-related
anthony lapanta hair
stearns county syndrome
glen sonmor punch fan bench pic
troy jutting facebook

What the???
liquor dont drink because it isnt heatly
words puzzle the wild dingo
i didn't even know where west
double leather sole mukluks
jack daniel golfing caps
fosters home for imaginary friends big fat awesome house party
david james elliott blog
john mitchell sonmor
david james elliott shirtless photos
picture of a egg getting sucked into a bottle
capeway bulldogs, ma
if i'm the only one i'll shut up
guffers animals pictures
carly ward sammy's wood fired pizza
kyle lohse gay
computer screeens for dogs
hooray huzzah etymology
hillion box dog

Are you scratching your head in confusion yet? There are some weird people out there.

********EDIT*********
DEAR GOD, WHAT SICK PERSON IS SEARCHING FOR "JASON GIAMBI SHIRTLESS"?????????????????

The Gauntlet: Killing The Radio Star Edition

This week, The Gauntlet returns with a vengeance...

Okay, maybe not a vengeance, since this is another "Friendly Fire" incident. This week, RWD threw down the glove to Bruce Ciskie, UMD Radio Guy, former USCHO Poster, and Purse Snatcher.

RWD: Hold on, must find notebook with questions.

Ciskie: Uh oh... you wrote them down?

RWD: Weeks ago.

Ciskie: I'm marginally impressed.

RWD: Seriously, what do you take me for? What about my blog would ever make you think I am anything other than a serious journalist with the highest standards of integrity?

Ciskie: I'll be more impressed after I find out what the questions are.

RWD: I think my questions will be better than "What's in your iPod?" I already know it's country. Did you have a nice christmas?

Ciskie: Absolutely. I can never complain about a new PS2 game and seeing my kid happily ripping open his mom's presents because he apparently didn't get enough of his own. [Bruce won't be winning Father Of The Year any time soon.]

RWD: I was going to ask if there was a Mrs. Bruce Ciskie, but you've already answered that.

Ciskie: Yeah, there is, and she's really the one who jump-started my hockey obsession. I was only a casual fan until our second date, which happened to be the 1998 UMD-[UMTC] playoff game that everyone SWEARS they were at. I was, and I now own a DVD of it thanks to some really nice UMD fan in the Twin Cities.

RWD: Do you know that the only people who have answered yes to the "is there a Mr/Mrs [your name here]" question are UMD fans?

Ciskie: Really?

RWD: Really. So you have been following tDogs since 1998? Or before?

Ciskie: Slightly before. I had gone to a few games before that 1998 playoff game, but it wasn't enough to hook me. We went to the Saturday game of the playoff series, and I have a vague memory of a fight or some sort of skirmish happening late in the game (a Gopher shutout win). No matter what it was, it was enough for me to make it clear that we were going to the Sunday night game. After that, I was hooked on college hockey. I also remember listening to the 1984 title game with Bowling Green on the radio, even though I was supposed to be sleeping. I didn't know anything about hockey at the time, but I knew it was a big deal so I listened (BANDWAGON!). I turned it off before the fourth overtime because I couldn't stay awake anymore (I was six at the time).

RWD: I suppose the players make you feel really old.

Ciskie: All of them except Geris.

RWD: "So, Jordan Fulton, how was your senior year of high school... LAST YEAR?"

Ciskie: Well, there's that. I don't really think about the age gap with the guys that much, though there will sometimes be conversations where I come away feeling old.

RWD: Mentally I'm sure there's no age gap.

Ciskie: Actually, they're probably older than I am in that regard.

RWD: Let's talk about the players. Who's the hottest Bulldog?

Ciskie: Can I cheat on this one?

RWD: NO! No one's WIFE! No CHEERLEADERS!

Ciskie: I don't think any of the players are married, so I can apparently choose a girlfriend.

RWD: NO! [extremely long pause] For crying out loud! This is taking too long!

Ciskie: You're asking a guy who the hottest Bulldog is... really, did you expect a quick response?

RWD: [After another extremely long pause, when it becomes evident that Bruce is using a lifeline.] Have you decided who is the hottest?

Ciskie: Mrs. Ciskie says if she had to pick she'd pick Sharp or Gawryletz.

RWD: But Bruce, I know you've seen them shirtless! Who has the best body? Maybe some of them are butterfaces.

Ciskie: I think you're misunderstanding the nature of my job. I don't need to interview them in the shower.

RWD: You don't need to.

Ciskie: Nor do I want to.

RWD: I'm torn between editing this out because I look like a jersey chaser, and leaving it in, because it is so funny.

Ciskie: I do know enough about sports to know that the goalies are typically the best athletes on the team, so if you're looking for the best body, you should probably start there. [Translation: Ciskie wants Stalock.]

RWD: What is Judd like? Is he dreamy?

Ciskie: You mean Medak or Hirsch? I'm sure his wife finds him very attractive and that's all that matters. He's a great guy, very knowledgeable about hockey, and the best part about him is that he's not afraid to be critical when conditions warrant. Some color guys are afraid to say anything that could be construed as critical of the home team.

RWD: I know that you're very restrained in that area, especially about the refs.

Ciskie: I'm always nice to the officials.

RWD: We'll return to that.

Ciskie: I'm sure we will.

RWD: Why doesn't Judd go on the road with you?

Ciskie: It was something we had put in place probably 10 years ago. I've never really asked anyone about it, but it seems to me that it really wasn't financially smart to have a second person go on the road for these longer trips especially.

RWD: Don't you get bored?

Ciskie: I had about five years of experience doing high school hockey games before I got the UMD job, and almost every game I did was by myself. In all honesty, I don't think much about it unless the game is REALLY bad. The weird thing is that I can flip the switch when we go home. I don't make Judd sit there for a half hour not able to say anything because I won't shut up.

RWD: What happened to Fan in the Stands? I wanted to win a pizza from the Lakeview Castle

Ciskie: There really wasn't much demand for it, so we decided to use that time in the pregame to actually talk about hockey. It wasn't easy to drop it, but I didn't want to put a cap on everything else we do in the pregame (I think it's more important to not have to cut Sandelin off).

RWD: I thought it was between periods.

Ciskie: It was, but without doing it in the pregame, it was asking a lot to have someone come down to the rink just for that purpose. If we had a three-man booth, we could just send that third person downstairs for that.

RWD: So you have a new feature instead: Email the Booth. Does anyone other than me use it?

Ciskie: Not as much as I had hoped. It was something that a few Twin Cities fans had asked me to do, and when I was going over feedback and trying to figure out what we could add to the broadcasts for 06-07, I decided it was something we could do. The response hasn't met the prior demand. It also stinks that I don't have a laptop and we can only do it for home games.

RWD: I've been trying to help you out, but it's hard to think of questions.

Ciskie: And I appreciate that. Just make random comments about what Judd and I are saying. It's all about interaction. It doesn't have to be anything perceptive about the game itself.

RWD: I'm surprised more people don't. There are plenty of people listening.

Ciskie: I am, too. I know.

RWD: I should ask a dumb question...

Ciskie: Go ahead.

RWD: ...to make people feel better.

Ciskie: No such thing as a dumb question.

RWD: No, I mean on the air.

Ciskie: Oh.

RWD: Not now. Then people will be like, okay, yeah, I don't have to be brilliant. Speaking of questions: the coach's show. Why can't I get it on the radio?

Ciskie: Because some idiot isn't turning on the internet switch.

RWD: I want to listen tomorrow. Are you going to ask about Mike Dorr?

Ciskie: You know we can't talk about recruits.

RWD: At all?

Ciskie: Not until they sign.

RWD: Lame.

Ciskie: If I asked a question about Mike Dorr right now, I'd get a mystified stare and some sort of physical signal that it's time to move on to a different topic.

RWD: At least you can get on USCHO and tPB and read about it. Speaking of USCHO, what do you say to rumors that you stole an old lady's purse and ran into a gay bar?

Ciskie: There could be some exaggerations there.

RWD: The lady may have been younger than originally thought. The best post on that thread was "Judd? Is that you?"

Ciskie: The alarm went off in my head when that thread went up. I knew it was time to disappear.

RWD: Is it hard to go from being a fan to being more professional?

Ciskie: I don't care if people talk about me, but the only other D1 announcer who has gotten his own thread is Doug Woog, and I'm so far away from his league that it's not even funny. It's tough. I still enjoy hanging around in the Cafe because there are actually people there that I have met and gotten to know a little bit. But it turned into a no-brainer to get away from the D1 board and stop getting sucked into dumb conversations that I don't need to get sucked into anymore. [Which is essentially the entire experience at USCHO.] About the toughest thing with this job is shedding the emotions of being a fan, because those never truly go away. I want UMD to win every game, and I want nothing but the best for this group of kids because they are such good kids, but I have to set at least a chunk of those feelings aside on game nights. I was proud of myself on Saturday for staying away from the officials until they called that major on Sharp.

RWD: How many Christmas cards did you receive from officials this year?

Ciskie: Brett Klosowski still talks to me. In fact, he's the saintly one who explained the attainable pass rule to me. Of course, I had to think about it for a month before I understood it.

RWD: I'll take that as "zero."

Ciskie: Same number as what I sent out to them. But in all seriousness, I like brett and I'm glad he's in our league now. It's a tough job, and frankly i'm not sure there are a ton of great officials in college hockey right now. I think the problem, if there is one, really only has one fully effective solution: full time officials, and it's just not feasible for these leagues or the NCAA in general to do something like that. Until someone finds the money to make a full time officials system more economical, we have to live with what we have, which is an imperfect system run by humans. [Bruce clearly wants this world to be run by DAMN DIRTY APES!]

RWD: I see you spend a lot of time thinking about this.

Ciskie: When you're driving by yourself to and from some of the stops in the WCHA, you think about a lot of stuff.

RWD: That makes you sound like you're headed for the padded cell.

Ciskie: Wouldn't surprise me. I think there's a special wing there for radio people, and I've spent more than 10 years in radio.

RWD: What is the best road trip you've been on?

Ciskie: Best road trip? Colorado Springs last year or Florida. I can't pick. The TV guys and I took a drive up Pike's Peak on the Saturday of the Colorado trip, and then we won that weird game where CC outshot us like 274-9 but Isaac stood on his head. Florida was cool because I got to hang out with my old buddy Chris Long and I walked into the Gulf of Mexico and called my wife in her office. Alaska is a trip that every fan should try to make at least once.

RWD: Alaska would be fun. I could meet Donald. Armageddon would probably come.

Ciskie: I've not met Donald. Donald knows where I sit at the Sullivan, and I'm deeply offended that he's never popped over to say hello. Sully isn't like some places where they have an actual press box. Fans walk behind me and around me to get to their seats, so I can be talked to by any random fan who wants to strike up a conversation.

RWD: I could hear you on the UAA video webcast.

Ciskie: I heard about that. Last year, Justin May swore he could hear me on the other side of the arena (the video guy sits across the rink from where the radio guys are).

RWD: Isn't Justin May the strength and conditioning coach?

Ciskie: Yeah, but he handled the video stuff last year.

RWD: Wow, a renaissance man. What's the best game you've called so far?

Ciskie: You mean quality of the game or quality of the broadcast?

RWD: Your favorite moment in Bulldog broadcasting history.

Ciskie: Probably McKnight's game winner in Mankato last year. It was a sweet goal because 1) it took about an hour to trickle across the goal line, and 2) I had no idea who was camped out in front of the net, so I just said "IT'S IN THE NET, AND THE DOGS WIN IT!"

RWD: I thought "AND HERE COME THE TEDDY BEARS" was possibly the greatest thing you've ever said. It sounded like we were being invaded.

Ciskie: That one's up there, too. McFarland's first goal was fun, too.

RWD: Well, not his first.

Ciskie: Well, the first one I got to call.

RWD: The first one that wasn't NOT COUNTED or RECREDITED.

Ciskie: Right. Though, it's worth noting that from a "quality of the goal call" standpoint, the one they stole from him in St. Cloud last year was much better.

RWD: When are you interviewing Mike Curry?

Ciskie: Already did.

RWD: WHAT? WHEN?

Ciskie: I think it was during the Tech series.

RWD: Because he scores a lot in Michigan, right. AND I MISSED IT!

Ciskie: Yeah and he had been playing really well the last couple weekends before that trip, so it seemed like an easy decision.

RWD: He is still playing really well.

Ciskie: Yeah, he's really stepped it up. That whole line has. You know the McFarland story and Greer has a career high for goals already.

RWD: People mocked me last year, they were like "How can you like him? All he does is take penalties." But now he is doing well, and staying mostly out of the box.

Ciskie: Curry is a force when he uses his reach. He's not the quickest cat on the ice, but he is physical and he has longer arms than Yao Ming.

RWD: He needs to meet Mark Parrish and learn from the master. They could be the same type of player.

Ciskie: Yeah, I can see that. Mark Parrish is cool.

RWD: Camp out in front of the net in his "office" as those TV dorks say.

Ciskie: I HATE that. It started with Gretzky behind the net.

RWD: Well, we are incapable of going to the net hard, it seems, so someone has to be there when we take an annoying shot from far away. Who are your favorite Bulldogs? Current and All-Time?

Ciskie: Current: all of them. All time: [Brett] Hull, [Bill] Watson, [Lucien] Lessard, [Derek] Plante, [Judd] Medak [obvs sucking up to Judd here], [Beau] Geisler, [The Alaskan Assassin] Todd Smith, and Steve Rodberg makes honorable mention for that fight with Erik Jensen of Wisconsin. Frankly, I do like pretty much all of [the current players], it's about as good a group of kids as anyone could ask to hang around.

RWD: I like them all too, but I have my guys, of course. I'm visiting Duluth for the Northern series, and bringing some random people with me. What would you suggest visiting fans do in Duluth?

Ciskie: The aquarium is cool if it's too cold to walk around the zoo.

RWD: The zoo? We are all adults.

Ciskie: It's winter in Duluth, so unless you want to walk them around the mall there isn't much.

RWD: It's winter in Duluth??? GASP!

Ciskie: Take them skiing or something.

RWD: What about eating?

Ciskie: Old Chicago, Timberlodge, Ground Round, Grandma's, Big Daddy's. (Aren't you going to ask me what's in my IPod? )

RWD: COUNTRY! How about a weekend prediction for us?

Ciskie: 4-2, 4-3.

RWD: Mike Curry hat trick?

Ciskie: no, but he'll have another four-point weekend, and UMD will get their first two-game sweep since, um, i don't know when. I yearn for not having to watch visiting team fans celebrating a sweep in the DECC, so this weekend will be fun.

RWD: Especially with your nemesis in attendance. She already saw them sweep at UND. She is overconfident.

Ciskie: I have no nemesis... she is also like four feet tall, so I hope she brings her high chair so she can watch the games.

RWD: Any New Year's resolutions?

Ciskie: I don't want to be fat anymore. I want to continue trying to be less mean to the officials. I want to keep getting better at my job.

RWD: It's radio, no one has to know...

Ciskie: Yeah, but airplane seats aren't comfortable when you are 6'4 and [come on, Bruce, no one really wants to know how much you weigh].

RWD: Ask Justin May for tips, if he isn't too busy de-worming orphans and solving a Rubik's Cube with his feet.

Ciskie: Justin could probably kill me if I ever worked out with him.

RWD: Or by just looking at you wrong. Is he hot?

Ciskie: Mrs. Ciskie is unavailable for comment. She's on a conference call for work.

Well, there you have it. The first The Gauntlet of 2007, albeit a lite version.