Hits From The Blog, Part Deux

It's been awhile since I've been lazy enough to do this, so I've got some good crazy stuff saved up. There are some twisted people out there, coming to RWD. And writing it.

Somewhat Hockey-Related
mike zacharias budweiser i take it he's a big fan.
t.j. oshie beer bong people, get it right. that was jonathan toews.
greer Macgregor is this some sort of science experiment gone wrong?
euthanasia, nick kemp is that really necessary? can't we just put him out to stud?
the drunk hockey guy blog umd doesn't exist yet. you're stuck with rwd.
don lucia complaining imagine that!
bulldog with fire helmet more like fire helmet with bulldog.

Hockey Player Stalker Hits
drew akins is cute probably a meanegirl hit.
is mike sertich of duluth minnesota married wow, even sertie gets stalked!
rob bordson is so hot yes.
uaa nathan lawson girlfriend i hope she's combing the beaches, because he is washed up.
josh meyers shirtless yes yes.
bryan mcgregor girlfriend i wonder what he's up to?
stu bickel girlfriend another meanegirl hit.
tyler bozak girlfriend probably dumped him when he got his knee injury.
tony lucia girlfriend ...is jay barriball.
tj oshie apartment on you tube for what? dirtiest apartment ever?
alex goligoski girlfriend ...is ryan potulny.
tyler ruegsegger girlfriend hopefully did not get projectile-vomited on.
glenn fisher girlfriend who? oh wait, that du guy.
jordan parise gf to be fair, the gf could stand for grand forks.
rob nolan girlfriend ...is rwd.
tj oshie girlfriend should probably not view "tj oshie apartment on you tube."
matt smaby engaged someone cares?
jonathan toews shirtless with a beer bong, i hope!

What the...????
when does air bud hockey come out i don't know, but i can't wait!!!
good rat keeping i guess you clean their cage and feed them and stuff.
boosh hot dogs the game yeah, i'm sure that happened.
making of the game banana is the "game banana" some sort of trophy for gorilla footballers?
rat bleeding from ears probably resulted from bad rat keeping.
cowbell penalty two minutes for not enough!
that heartless bitch, thb tech hockey blog?
christmas dogs midget performance i'm assuming this show is in tijuana.
my legs are extremely long does not apply here.
i'm a guy, and i want grow my hair out like jason micheal carrol's, but until then, how should i manage my hair? ask hollywood clark!
your so into hockey and you don't even know it t-shirts i would never wear that grammatically incorrect shirt.
why women don't like hockey because we're too busy making sandwiches and fetching beers.
home improvement brad shirtless in locker room who wants to see the mullet kid shirtless?
outline of bronco for pumpkin carving that seems useful.
rhyme master rwd yo yo yo, peace out homeslice.
where to go in denver if you're single co14ers' house.
why do people cut off deer heads on the side of the road because they are lousy shots.
shopko temple of doom i see someone shares my point of view.
political affiliation ted Kaczynski same as donald's.
dogs that coach people i don't think they exist. i searched.
jack i don't think they are ready for this that's what she said.
real life fights between badger and dogs ask cody danberg for footage.
wow fhg that's what cardinal said.
does jack daniels have turpentine in it? does it matter?
i kissed a goon and i liked it?
what happened in the houghton temple ...stays in the houghton temple.
runnin and quantum theory you've come to the right place!

The Way We Were

Yes, I know. It has been an unacceptably long time since I last posted, and unlike other season's finales, there's been a ridiculous amount of GOOD content about which to write. If you cared, I am sorry, but the end of the season gave me a lot to sift through and it deserved my full attention. Even now, though this post is more like a novel, I feel like I haven't done it justice, but it's a try.

I don't know of any Bulldog fan who on some level was not ready to pack it in after the UAA series. I mean, some were entirely ready to do so or had already, while some remained cautiously optimistic. I had a post kind of already plotted out in case something terrible happened, which I sort of remember now, weeks and eons later. It certainly felt as though we were headed for another futile, Fitzgerald-esque off-season. You know, "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." Another mediocre finish.

Instead, we got one of the wildest finishes to a season that could possibly be imagined in the drug-addled hallucinations of a schizophrenic.

It started in CC. I was actually rather pleased that we had drawn CC rather than any of the myriad other teams we could have played. Yes, we'd only played them once, but we'd played them at home and had totally rocked it. In fact, it was the only team we had fared well against away from home.

tUMD scored 7 goals in those two games and never trailed. It was incredible. They played in a commanding fashion and despite CC's best attempts to kill our players, the Bulldogs swept them into the off-season. Travis Oleksuk burst onto the college hockey scene, and Alex Stalock made an impossible-looking save, as he is wont to do.

God, was that ever a long time ago. Almost a month ago, to be exact. I was incredibly depressed that I couldn't go to the games in CC as I had to work.

The days before the Final Five seemed tortuously slow. On top of that, the crazy PWR-heads had crunched some rather terrifying numbers: there were multiple scenarios in which the Bulldogs would still miss the NCAA tournament. Funny how we'd gone from lookin' good to almost surely out to possibly back in it within a few weeks. Pretty indicative of the season as a whole.

The play-in game was probably the most terrifying game I'd attended, simply because I was almost entirely surrounded by Gopher fans. It ended up not being that bad though, as all the UND fans were cheering against the Gophers, which meant they were cheering for tUMD. I also saw a group of St. Cloud fans in their jerseys with print-outs of tUMD's logo pinned to the fronts. Dirty and MEg both donned UMD gear as well. I have never seen them look more attractive.

I don't believe in fate or destiny, but when I look back on that weekend, I have never seen anything go so right in my entire life. Certainly not for a team that I follow.

It started off well. Gopher goalie Alex Kangas had was fighting off the flu (whether it was influenza or the oft-mislabeled gastroenteritis, I don't know nor do I want to) and it was unclear if he would even play, but he's a gamer and so he was out there. Barely three minutes into the game, Kangas misplayed a rebound and MacGregor Sharp scored the first goal of the game. The UMD fans in attendance, as well as the Gopher haters, made the Xcel sound fairly loud. Five minutes later, UMD found themselves two men short for slightly over a minute, and I really started to stress. Penalty killing had not been a strength over the season, and though they had been must better in CC, they had given up a 6x4 goal and a 6x5 goal. tDogs managed to kill it off, and went into the locker room at intermission with a lead. The Gophers came out in the second with Patterson in net and Kangas on the bench, apparently too sick to continue. The second period saw the always hard-working Matt Greer put the Dogs up another goal, but despite the best efforts of my dear friend and our DanceMania antics, I could NOT calm down. In the third, the Gophers scored early on a weird deflection type goal, which would be the only goal to beat Stalock that weekend. Then I REALLY stressed. The clock could not POSSIBLY go any slower. Once time started running out, I kept one eye on the play and one eye on Patterson. tUMD managed to control play enough that the Gophers couldn't pull him until there were 38 seconds left, and still the Gophers nearly had a great scoring chance, if not for the brilliant hooking penalty Andrew Carroll took, which could not be assessed before time ran out.

The first task completed, tDogs now faced possibly a more daunting prospect: they absolutely needed to win one of the next two games in order to guarantee entry into the NCAAs, and they had to face a team on a roll: UND. Allegiances changed: UND fans were (of course) cheering against tUMD, while only the bitterest of Gopher fans stayed off the UMD bandwagon. I really stressed, again. This was overall a very stressful weekend for me!!! In addition to the games, I had three exams, and I actually skipped the Friday afternoon game to study. Or to attempt to study, as I was terribly distracted.

Stalock recently edged out UND goaltender Brad Eidsness for the WCHA goaltending title by an incredibly slim margin, so many touted it as a battle to see who really could claim the title. Eidsness decided he wanted to show he could beat Stalock at his own game, and while Fonzie was in the box serving a too many men on the ice penalty, Brad went behind the net to play the puck and made a blind pass to MacGregor Sharp, who quickly tucked the puck into the net before Eidsness could finish crapping himself. Mike Montgomery added another hard-working goal in the first period, and the Dogs had a nice lead at the end of the first. Of course, I was still stressed out, but you know me. In the second period, Brady Lamb was handed a major penalty for kneeing Matt Watkins. I went home and watched the game again on my DVR, and I will tell you folks, it was not a kneeing penalty. Watkins came off the bench and skated right into Brady Lamb, who is clearly going after the puck. He makes an odd leg motion, but if you look closely, he's trying to accelerate, not trying to take out Watkins, who as I already said, skated right into him. Watkins was injured, which was unfortunate, but not every injury in hockey is a penalty. UMD killed the major penalty in a textbook manner, and the only subsequent goal was an empty netter from Mike Connolly, who popped his jersey and made a bunch of people get their undies in a bunch. I have no problem with the jersey pop, as long as they're popping the front and not the back. I was so excited after the game I looked up at DHG in the club level and screamed "WE'RE GONNA DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Saturday came. The day of reckoning. tUMD was essentially playing with the house's money at this point. I was taking a ridiculously hard test and then another test that was not as hard and then I made it over to see the rest of the UW/DU game. And of course, despite everyone's logical arguments and soothing platitudes, I was stressed out. I was probably not helping myself because between periods at each game, the only other person in the building more stressed out than I came over and we probably ended up stressing ourselves out MORE. Although it is nice to have someone who understands me!

No play-in game winner had ever won the Final Five. No team had ever beaten Denver in the Final Five. tUMD had never won the Broadmoor trophy in the current fashion. A pessimist could say the odds were stacked against them, while an optimist would say it was a perfect storm of opportunity. We had die-hard Gopher fans wearing tUMD jerseys. Everyone who mattered was cheering for the Bulldogs, excluding the DU fans, who had an excuse.

I can't even recap the game because it was just so incredible. UMD was... dominant. MacGregor Sharp was dominant. ALEX STALOCK WAS DOMINANT. Gwoz pulled Cheverie fairly early, in a typically gutsy Gwoz style move, and I remember thinking "GET SHARP ON THE ICE." And of course he was, because he's always on the ice in that situation. Mike Connolly got the puck and brought it up ice and, because he is an incredible guy who plays on an incredible team, he passed the puck to MacGregor Sharp who sent it into the open net for a hat trick. The roar in the Xcel was incredible. You would never have known that only about... oh, maybe 15% of the crowd were wearing UMD gear. I didn't leave the arena until the last Bulldog had left the ice.

The only thing left to worry about, tournament-wise, was where UMD would go. They had secured a 2-seed, pole-vaulting over UND to be the second-seeded WCHA team. Wisconsin was the last man out, and the Gophers just behind them. The selection show was pretty cool, as UMD was one of the only non-#1 seeds that got any attention, and Barry Melrose even picked them to be in the finals, which some people said was the kiss of death but he also picked BU, and they won, so it was hardly that way. Once I found out that tUMD would go to the west regional, I was THRILLED.

Days of plotting ensued. MEg and I spent two nights making posters (we made over 20) and togas, and eight of us suited up and headed over to the Miami-DU game. We made friends with the Miami band, which apparently offended the INCH people, but they were very nice. We were fickle in our allegiance. Or as MEg says, allianceship. An incredibly battered Denver team got bounced out, and we prepared ourselves for our Bulldogs.

UMD scored first, which felt so nice, but Princeton scored three times unanswered, and the UMD faithful started to stress. Just as I was running downstairs to give Sioux-cia her ticket (she was very late), Brady Lamb decided it would be a good time to get his first collegiate goal. Bless you, Brady, you have amazing timing. Princeton scored again shorthanded, and we were down by two goals. It was pretty sad. I refused to let the UMD fans get out-cheered by the Princeton band, so every time they started a cheer, I started one. If we were going to die, we were going to die with our boots on. So to speak.

I can not even describe the impossibility of the final minute of the game. Every time I watch it, it seems more impossible. Here, you can watch it, too.



See what I mean? I don't even know if I knew what happened when Oberg scored. I just know it was like being attacked by an octopus, because everyone was hugging everyone. Togas were falling off. Signs were being ripped. The overtime goal was great, but it was just overshadowed by the game-tying goal.

The next night was heartbreaking. There was controversy, of course, but ultimately UMD lost the game and the season ended, and now Cascalenda, Carroll, Gergen, Greer, Kemp, Meyers, Sharp, Oberg, Stalock, and maybe others will never suit up for the Bulldogs again. It's hard for me to even think about. But they have left a legacy and they have left behind some incredible players who will remember this past season, who will remember nothing is over until it truly is, who will remember what these guys who are leaving have passed on to them. But I also don't want to take anything away from the guys who will come back next year, as they were an integral part of the successes of this season.

I didn't think, when I watched the Frozen Four games, that it would be so hard. I kept thinking how much I wanted the Dogs to be there. It's amazing, however, that they came so close. Bittersweet.

Don't worry, because RWD is going to be open for business for the summer. And don't worry, ladies and gents, because the most popular RWD post of the year is on its way.

I Think I Can

This team just wouldn't be denied. I love it. The Little Bulldogs That Could.

I stated on USCHO that attending the Final Five without tUMD was like celebrating Christmas with someone else's family. It's fun, but just not the same.

I don't know if you all aware of this, but UMD was never losing in this game, and once they scored, they never allowed CC to tie it up. You would not know that UMD played well. According to the media in Colorado Springs, a team of hobos and vagrants could have shown up and beat CC. But, enough about Bemidji State. Patesy was left back in Duluth to write his recap at the mercy of B2 and the evil Floating Tiger Head. Thankfully, FTH was MUCH less prominent than he was last year, and he didn't really block the action.

Power play dominance continued, as UMD struck early after Stalock started the play up the ice (gaining his FIRST ASSIST ALL YEAR, and getting him Off Notice for the first time. Seriously, Al. If you are going to scare the crap out of me by leaving the net, I expect more points. And also, I expect goals!) and Travis Oleksuk got the puck to MY SWEET JACKY who FINALLY GOT A GOAL. This is it, people. The floodgates have opened. I predict Jacky will set a WCHA Final Five record in goals scored this weekend. Captain Kangaroo and Peppermint Patty (who will come into the game once Kangy commits seppukku on his hockey stick) will have whiplash from watching Jacky put pucks in the net. I'm very excited about Mr. Oleksuk, too. Brucie said last night that the coaching staff was very smart in holding him out of so many games, as he has really infused some energy into our lineup just when we need it. Those 3 guys were the stars of the game according to College Hockey Stats.

The second goal occurred on the power play as well, with senior Nick Kemp putting one in thanks to the MSJ-T.O. Express. The CC players did not like that, and instead tried to kill him. Some giant jerk smashed Nick's face into the glass and no penalty ensued. Nicky ended up missing the 2nd period and returned in the 3rd only to have some CC butthead go right after him again.

CC played ultra-sketchy in this game, I should point out. Now, tUMD are no angels (and I would not expect it! This is hockey, not ballet! Although ballerinas are very cutthroat.) but CC was being ridiculous. They were elbowing like crazy brides at a wedding sample sale, but they also went down faster than a mobster wearing cement shoes in the East River. How can they be tough sissies? It does not compute. For example, after Nicky got elbowed, My Sweet Jacky got called for holding. It was a very horsecrap call, although not as horsecrap as the one he took in the second for interference. I did not know a puck carrier could be called for interference. I think I missed that page. I suppose the referees are not used to seeing players, um, trying. I just looked at the stats and we came out only one penalty ahead. I was surprised to see that, but it is so.

The whole time it was 2-1, I was stressing big time. Gergzilla must have sensed that, because he jumped in on the Fuzzy-Sharpie line while Little Nicky was being poked and prodded to make sure he was good to go, he decided he'd better make the most of it and made Richie Rich look like an idiot. Obi-wan and Sharpie had assists. And like that it was 3-1 and it relieved a little of my stress.

I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so excited you guys are in the Final Five. Thank you for playing 120 minutes of BULLDOG HOCKEY this weekend and showing everyone what I already knew: you guys are awesome! SEE YOU THURSDAY!!! (Well, I will see you. If you see me it's probably a bad thing as it most likely means I am humiliating myself in public. Again.)

Screw Kangas. Stalock for Defensive Player of the Week! And get well soon Nicky, Jordy, Trent Palm, and anyone else who is playing through an injury!

Forget Pretense

I'm just going to tell you what you want, and you are going to like it.

Comrades, you want:

Tech to annihilate Minnesota-Twin Cities

Mankato to pulverize St. Cloud

North Dakota to disembowel Wisconsin

Denver to incinerate Colorado College

and

your UMD BULLDOGS to sweep the Seawolves!!!!

If these things occur, then I'll have one more trip up to Duluth this season!!!

Andrew, Jay, Josh, MacGregor, Nick, Matt and Michael: I'm counting on you, just as I always have for the past four years.

Additionally, I should announce the winner from the previous poll. With 14 votes (well, really 13, because I voted once), the winner is... THEY ARE ALL CREEPY!!!! Thanks to everyone who voted early and often.

The John

tUMD 2, Corporate Drones 2

Hello, all! Are we all exhilarated and refreshed after the stressful tie last night? Are we all so nervous our hearts are pounding faster than a hummingbird's wings? Don't leave me hangin' here!

I was so stressed last night. And the entire day preceding the game. And pretty much ever since I recovered from my trip to Houghton. And a tie is incredibly stressful for me because of its potential to swing from 1 point to 0 in a matter of seconds. Especially when tUMD's all-star rocking forecheckers didn't GO TO THE NET ENOUGH. ESPECIALLY ON THE POWER PLAYS, GUYS. Seriously. Peppermint Patty was leaving you nice sexy rebounds to romance into the net, and y'all were like "We just want to CYCLE!!!" Seriously, though, tUMD put on a CLINIC in pressure in the offensive zone in the 3rd period. However, not enough players registered for the break-out session on goal-scoring.

It's no surprise to see who stepped up in this game. MATT GREER and NICK KEMP, two SENIORS. Greer's goal was just... ok I should have watched the tape delay so I could really write about it, but I happened to be looking right down on it and on the initial shot or pass or whatever I was like "Nooooo" because I didn't think it came at Matty at a good angle but then he just made it work. Tim Gunn would be proud. Kemp's goal was an awesome garbage goal that Peppermint Patty couldn't keep out of the net. Honestly I can't believe the whistle wasn't blown or something but MIRACLE OF MIRACLES the officials never lost sight of the puck. The Gopher goals came on 1.) Stalock being Stalock and 2. Shenanigans so I'm feeling pretty good about tonight's game. I think that UMTC should probably put away the checkbook and save any money earmarked for tonight's ref payoffs for the 09-10 campaign; what is the point? Even winning out may not help their cause.

I'd like to talk for a moment about YET ANOTHER reason why I'm glad I'm not a Gopher fan. There are just so many, but their precious palace is one that I'm probably in the minority on. I think for a college atmosphere, it's just... terrible. My #1 complaint is that when I am yelling, only like 1% of the people in the arena can hear me. Trust me, I'm yelling for a reason, you want to hear it. Unless like in the 2nd period when I yelled "LET'S GO POWER PLAY!" when we were 4 on 4. I could not count, evidently. But I think the clock guy heard me because there was only a Gopher penalty on the board. But other than swallowing up the noise of the individual, the arena sucks because there's no sense of unity among the fans. Even the student sections couldn't get together, and they are on a cheering schedule. Cheer at an unscheduled time, and one of the 8,000-year-old ushers will ask you to leave. Oh, and also, when Thug4life Jake Hansen took out Greer and Suz was running onto the ice, the music folks decided to play "Another One Bites The Dust." Ok, Music Person, I'm pretty classless at arenas at times, but I'm not in any way affiliated with tUMD. YOU are, and you suck. SANCTIONS! One final thought: how come no one can trash talk well with me? Someone asked me "Are all UMD fans like you?" and I said "They aren't as cute as me," and he said "That must have been a long bus ride." Then later when T-Lu and the Sheriff took their OT matching penalties, I was laughing about Sunday dinner at the Lucia house and how Tony would be in trouble, and the wife of the previously mentioned person said "He'll get extra dessert." What? People, try harder.

Sigh. I'm in class right now and don't have my Numbers. I just know that Matty G and Kemper the Wrecker are OFF NOTICE!!!!

Come on 'Dogs!!! No giving away charity points tonight! Go for the jugular!!

Rehab

Losers 2, Winners 2
(A tie is now referred to as a "Tech win.")

The best thing about late posts is they are usually better. We shall see. I'm still trying to piece together the weekend. Thank goodness for the many people who contributed to the invention of the digital camera. And thank goodness for the delete button on said camera!

I am sorry in advance that this post is full of dumb inside jokes. Unless you are in on those jokes, in which case I am not sorry. You might be, but I can't help that.

Friday night was pretty tame, as I mentioned in that post, which seems so long ago now. This meant my fellow shortie and I were well-rested for the day, and we started it off standing out in the cold heckling an IM broomball game. People at Tech are very serious about broomball. They are not serious about playing defence in their broomball games, though. We also ate at a Chinese food place that did not take my food before I was done eating it nor did it have someone trying to put lemons in the water of non-lemon likers, and I also got to be a creeper for a few minutes because a player walked in. I thought maybe Chinese food was a good thing to eat before games but in fact that person could have eaten a bucket of lard and it would not have mattered because he did not play.

The hockey part of the day started early as I had to go to the VP and Yager's IM hockey game. Many of those people were equally as talented as MTU's varsity squad, and I do not mean that in a complimentary fashion, less the VP think I was being nice. Word to the wise: I AM NEVER NICE. Some of tUMD's fans were at the game, too, as they had nothing better to do. It was very enjoyable as we all sang the "$5 footlongs" song and made up cheers about our friends. I think the IM puck bunnies (sooo incredibly unnecessary) did not like us. It's okay, though. The VP went offsides and ruined everything at one point. Stick to VPing, VP.

I got in free to both games, Friday compliments of Le Russell, my secret boyfriend, and Saturday compliments of getting there so freaking early so I could stalk and the ROTC kids weren't there yet to guard the doors. You know, when I was in ROTC we did crap like that to make money for the battalion but I was stuck 1. covered in cold hot chocolate 2. hauling a giant thing of overpriced sodas through the upper deck of Memorial Stadium trying to hawk them to people who did not want them or 3. cleaning up soggy popcorn, mini-booze bottles, and nearly-liquid funnel cake the day after the Illini got their butts whipped by the rest of the Big 10. I think taking tickets would have been more fun and less freaking nasssty.

I am glad that we arrived as early as we did because later on tUMD started doing their little warmups and they were doing their plios/stretching EXACTLY WHERE I HAD WALKED IN A MERE 20 MINUTES PRIOR. And if I had walked into that I THINK I WOULD HAVE DIED. I commented on this, saying I would have wanted to RUN AWAY FAST like I did once when I told Justin Fontaine "Good game" at Blackwoods and then RAN AWAY before he could even answer (he said "Thanks" I think). MEg pointed out I'd look even more crazy if I did, and I said I wasn't planning on actually running away, just wishing I was going to run away. Fortunately that nightmare only happened in my head.

The game was even more fun somehow even though we "Tech lost." Sadly, the Tech students did not decide to show up to the game, but we were there to help by once again occupying their student section. tPBers came up with some GREAT chants and we had a lot of fun going back and forth with the Tech fans. I horribly embarrassed MEg because it was really quiet in the arena because they were having some sort of sportsmanship announcement from their captain and it was very poorly read, like a robot or something, and I was yelling about it. I know that I often say that I wish I was louder but in this case it was unnecessary because MEg told me that she happened to be focusing on one particular Tech player and the instant I opened my big fat mouth to bellow out "COULD YOU PLEASE ENUNCIATE?" he looked at me like my words were stabbing him in the eyes.

It was very hard to watch the game because of all of the goings-on. Tech jumped out to an early lead and then Gergy got a goal and I was so excited and happy. He seemed that way, too. We all chanted "Just like last night!" which was a great idea. It was incredibly strange because it was a PP goal and the assists went to Andrew Carroll and Nick Kemp, and they are not normally on the PP. But good job! Yeah! Between periods I followed MEg to the other side of the arena to climb up and meet Huskyfan. I needed some oxygen. I don't know why old people would want to sit so high up. I am young and I almost needed Boosh to carry me up. I don't know why I didn't think of that then. Then we went to the Blue Line club to meet MacDie and some lady started screaming that a Bulldog fan had entered as if I was carrying the bubonic plague or something. I mean, maybe I was, but still, calm down. It was 100 degrees in there. MacDie offered me some food but I declined (I DECLINED FOOD. IT'S SO UN-AMERICAN.) because of the death stares I was getting. I got a cup of water and even then people were all "Bitch get away from our jugs of wine." This provided an excellent distraction for Boosh to make off with half of their buffet.

The second period was good because Meyers got a goal and then Seth Soley breathed too close to Alex Stalock and he went down like he was Geoff Kinrade. Hee. (I am sorry Al but you know you totally flopped.) Akins went all Akins on Soley and Palm and Bunger bear-hugged for awhile so they all went to time out. It took a very long time to sort out the penalties and then there were net problems. I was nervous because we could not afford to get any DQs. I am always nervous at games, though. I think I was clutching Marty at one point. At the 2nd intermission tUMD fans put on a parade and marched through the arena to find the fan bus fans. They cheered when we came over and we cheered for them. Then we walked back through the concourse chanting "LET'S GO BULLDOGS!" and people stared.

The 3rd period sucked because Weird Derek Kitti scored the game-tying goal and I knew, I just KNEW, we were not going to score another goal. I should have worn a different jersey. Or something. Or maybe I should have sabotaged some of the guys. They (and their LLC) were in close proximity to me for much of the trip. And they didn't even know it. Muahahahaha. Overtime sucked too. We seriously almost lost the game like 600 times. Or once. I was sitting in a weird seat that was at the top of the stairs and so I had to hold onto the railing to keep from rocketing down the stairs. After the game ended we chanted "BEAT THE GOPHERS" and everyone stared at us like "What are Gophers?" Hello, we were trying to be nice.

After the game, things happened. The end.

The Numbers
Wins until we equal last season's total: Not even necessary!
Points until we equal last season's total: Eee!

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 31!
Jack Connolly: 22
Michael Gergen: 14!
Rob Bordson: 0

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 27!
Jack Connolly: 22
Scott Kishel: 2
Brady Lamb: 1
Travis Oleksuk: 1
David Grun: 0

On Notice
Rob Bordson
Andrew Carroll
Jay Cascalenda
Jack Connolly (whyyyyyyyy?)
Jordan Fulton
Kyle Schmidt
Alex Stalock

Goals Only
Matt Greer
Nick Kemp
Mike Montgomery
Trent Palm

A Christmas Story

Christmas was on its way. Lovely glorious beautiful Christmas, around which the entire kid year revolved.

Nick Kemp, Kyle Schmidt, Chad Huttel and I were down at Stewart's Bikes and Sports, noses pressed against the glass, staring at their window displays. There it was, the holy grail of Christmas gifts: the Red Ryder one piece 200-shot Iron Range model hockey stick with multi-rib blade construction and a Kevlar-wrapped shaft. For weeks I had been scheming to get my mitts on one of these fearsome opponent-obliterating beauties. My fevered brain seethed with the effort of trying to come up with the infinitely subtle devices necessary to implant the indelibly into my coach's subconscious.

At practice, I struggled for just the right hockey stick hint. "Sharpie said he saw some grizzly bears near Grandma's Sports Garden!" Sandelin looked at me like I had walleye coming out of my ears. I quickly changed directions. "Coach, I bet you can't guess what I got you for Christmas?" Coach Rohlik asked me, "Jacky, what do you want for Christmas?" I don't know what came over me, or why I blurted it out despite all my subtle scheming, but I loudly proclaimed, "I want a Red Ryder one piece 200-shot Iron Range model hockey stick with multi-rib blade construction and a Kevlar-wrapped shaft." Coach Sandelin looked at me and shook his head. "You'll shoot your eye out!"

At class the next day, my professor announced we had to write a paper. I hated writing papers, but then I saw a golden opportunity. "The topic of the paper will be 'What I want for Christmas.'" A paper! Here was my chance. I knew when my professor read my eloquently crafted and devastatingly convincing paper outlining why I wanted and deserved the Red Ryder one piece 200-shot Iron Range model hockey stick with multi-rib blade construction and a Kevlar-wrapped shaft, how could she possibly resist giving me an A++++++++, which I could then show to Coach Sandelin, and then he would be powerless to deny me.

I went right from class to practice, so that I could get started on my paper right away. I thought of what I would write. "I want a Red Ryder one piece 200 shot iron range model hockey stick with multi-rib blade construction and a Kevlar-wrapped shaft." Hmm... what else?

As we were getting ready for practice, Coach came into the locker room waving a paper in the air, as excited as the day he won the Spencer Penrose award. "I won! I won! A major prize!" "What is it?" we all asked. "Well... well... I don't know! It could be anything! It... it could be a bowling alley!"

A few minutes later, a guy came into the locker room wheeling a large crate on a dolly. "Oooh, Fra-gee-lay. it must be Italian!" Coach exclaimed excitedly. "I think that says fragile," Gergen commented. He pried it open with a pocket knife and dug through the avalanche of packing peanuts to find... "A leg?" asked Coach Larson. "A leg!!!" Sandy exclaimed, clearly not bothered by its peculiarity. Then he dug a little bit deeper and pulled out the other piece. "This is a lamp!" It was indeed a lamp. The old man's eyes boggled.

















"And I know where we're going to display it! In the corridor, right in front of one of the windows overlooking the arena!" He set it up and we all went outside to admire it, basking in the soft glow of electric sex in the window. Passerby looked puzzled, but Coach proudly announced to all of them, "It's a major award!" It could be seen up and down canal park, the symbol of the Coach's victory.

While we were all gathered out there, we saw a short and very cute looking girl walking up to the DECC, and we realized it was our beloved and revered blogger, Runninwiththedogs. Very few of us had ever seen her in person before, but of course everyone knows what she looks like. She stopped short when she saw us and tried to duck away, but not before she realized we had spotted her, and she let fly with "Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuudge." But she didn't say fudge, she said the big one, the queen mother of swear words, the f dash dash dash word, and Sandy heard her. She had a look on her face like she knew she was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmmph. Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited her. Sandy was on the phone to her grandfather in Florida within moments. "Do you know what RWD just said?" he asked, and then whispered something through the phone, and we could all hear the yelling as if Gramps had been on speaker. "Where did she hear that word?" Everyone had heard it 10 times a day from Coach Sandelin, who worked in profanity the way other artists worked in oils or clay. She must have panicked, because she blurted out what only could have been the first name that came to mind. "Donald!" "That's it," Coach shouted, "come with me, young lady!" and he marched her back inside.

















I felt her pain. Over the years I got to be quite a connossieur of soap. Though my personal preference was for Irish Spring, I found that Ivory had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heavy, but with a touch of mellow smoothness. Dial, on the other hand... YECCHH!

The next week in class, I anxiously awaited the return of our papers. "Overall, I was somewhat pleased with these papers, although some of you could really work on your spelling and grammar." She stopped by my desk and I could barely stand the excitement as I turned the cover page and saw... A C+? And she had written "You'll shoot your eye out?" Was there no end to the conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his playmaker?

I knew I had only one last resort, so I headed up to Miller Hill Mall to see Santa. The line stretched all the way to Hibbing, and I was at the end of it. Finally, finally, I was next in line, and then there I was sitting on the big guy's lap. "What do you want for Christmas?" he asked me.

















But my mind had gone blank. I tried to remember. I was blowing it! "How about a nice football?" he asked. I stuttered, "Uhhh... a football..." and then Santa said to his elf "Ok get him out of here," and they shoved me onto the big slide. Oh no! What was I doing? Wake up stupid! I grabbed onto the end of the slide.

















"I want a Red Ryder one piece 200 shot iron range model hockey stick with multi-rib blade construction and a Kevlar-wrapped shaft." And then, horror of horrors, he uttered those dreadful words: "You'll shoot your eye out, kid!"

I knew there was no hope when I woke up Christmas morning. As the whole team opened up presents in their PJs, I saw nothing that would look like a Red Ryder one piece 200 shot iron range model hockey stick with multi-rib blade construction and a Kevlar-wrapped shaft. Instead, I had gotten a horrible gift from Mrs. Ciskie that everyone insisted I try on, and since I was a freshman, I had to comply.

Andrew Carroll yelled at me from the other room, "Show everyone what Mrs. Ciskie made you!" Bruce's wife labored under the delusion that I was not only four years old, but also a girl. Immediately my feet began to sweat as those two fluffy little bunnies with the blue button eyes stared sappily up at me. I just hoped that Jordan Schroeder would never spot them, as word of this humiliation could easily make life in the WCHA a living hell.

"Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas, Jacky?" Coach Rohlik asked me. I shrugged and said "Almost." "Almost?" Coach Sandelin asked. "Huh. Well... what's that over there? Behind the zamboni?"

And there it was, a Red Ryder one piece 200 shot iron range model hockey stick with multi-rib blade construction and a Kevlar-wrapped shaft. Wow! Oh it was beautiful, I ould hardly wait to try it out. I hurried to put on my skates, with Suz yelling after me "Put on your helmet!" and I barely remembered to grab it as I hit the ice, skating up so I was standing in front of one of the nets. I imagined Richard Bachman in the net, a tie game in the WCHA Final Five championship game. "Okay, Bachman, now you get yours." And I wound up and let a slap shot fly. "CLANNNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I heard the puck hit the crossbar and then it flew back at my face. OH MY GOD! I SHOT MY EYE OUT!

After I recovered, I realized that I had not, in fact, shot my eye out, but had caused a huge dent in my cage, not quite as bad as what happened to Kyle Schmidt against North Dakota, but still, Hoagie was going to kill me. I immediately started crying, and everyone came running. On the fly, I came up with a story. "The puck... it hit a pane of glass that was out of alignment!!!" I knew that, as crappy as the DECC is, there had to be one out of joint somewhere. "Oh, poor Jacky," everyone cooed as they led me back to the locker room.

That night, next to me lay the greatest Christmas gift I had ever received or would ever. Gradually I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of triple dekes and spectacular wrist shots.

Merry Christmas to all of the RWD reading audience, and everyone who stumbles in here by mistakes.

RWD Media Guide

Can't figure out who I'm writing about? Here's a guide to the nicknames.

Arthur Fonzarelli: Justin Fontaine
Bordo: Rob Bordson
Bradylicious: Brady Hjelle
Fonzie: Justin Fontaine
Fuzzy: Mike Connolly
Gergasaurus, Gergzilla, or Gergy: Michael Gergen
Grunner: David Grun
the Hutt: Chad Huttel
Jacky or My Sweet Jacky: Jack Connolly
JCON: Jack Connolly
Kemper the Wrecker: Nick Kemp
MCON: Mike Connolly
MG: Michael Gergen
Monty, Montasaurus: Mike Montgomery
Obi, Obi-Wan or Obi-Wan Kenobi: Evan Oberg
Opie: Brady Hjelle
Peanut Butter Jelly Time: Brady Hjelle
Pre, Prefontaine: Justin Fontaine
Robbio: Rob Bordson
Sexy Brady: Brady Lamb
Schmitty!!!!!!: I certainly hope this one wasn't hard for you, but Kyle Schmidt
Sharpy, Sharpshooter: MacGregor Sharp
the Sherrif: Andrew Carroll

Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead

It's been tough times for Scotty "The Saint" Sandelin. He's been out from under the thumb of crime boss Dean "Blazer" Blais for eight years and he's still trying to go legit. His Bulldogs haven't had the greatest of years these past few years, and a few years ago they majorly pissed off another pillar of the mob community, "The Man With The Plan," also known as "Curious George." Apparently The Saint owed a debt to Curious George, and he called in the note. The Man With The Plan wanted his boys to get shaken up, get ready for the playoffs, and he wanted The Saint and his boys to surprise the Pioneers with a little upset in the first game of the playoffs, you know, to keep them hungry and all. (Here's what actually happened. But don't go here if you don't like Christopher Walken, bad words, or hobos being beaten up. And if that is the case, I feel like it's best if you and I part ways.) Sandelin had no choice but to gather together a group of his best guys and carry out the Man's orders.

Well, we all know what happened there. Sandelin's boys got a little crazy and ended up taking out the Pioneers entirely. Not only did they miss the Final Five, but they also failed to make the NCAA tournament despite being finishing 2nd in the WCHA. And The Man With The Plan was not happy.

Today after the WCHA coaches had their conference call and Sandelin showed up to practice looking totally freaked out.

"What's the matter, Coach?" asked Josh "Easy Wind" Meyers. But he didn't get an answer, The Saint just stared.

"Really, Sandy, what's the deal?" Critical Nick [really, Nick, I am sorry that you had to be this guy... if you haven't seen the movie, you just don't want to know] pressed him for answers. He exchanged a look with Matt "Pieces" Greer and Andrew "Franchise" Carroll. They all know something is up.

Finally, The Saint opened his mouth and uttered a single word. "Buckwheats."

Silence. Finally Franchise sputtered "Buckwheats?" The Saint repeated, "Buckwheats."

It was silent for a moment as a look of horror fell over the face of every senior on the team.

"What's 'buckwheats?'" piped up Mike Connolly, confused. The guys shot him death stares. "Geez, never mind, eh?"

The rest of the guys got up to start their practice, not realizing the severity of the situation. The seniors and The Saint stayed seated, shell-shocked.

"Who are they sending?" asked Critical Nick. "Goal Czar Salazar? Brock the Rock?"

"He's dead," Easy Wind said.

"Oh yeah. So who is it?"

Still with his thousand-yard stare, The Saint replies "Mr. Shh." And with a collective intake of breath, all the seniors realize they are about to come face to face with their own mortality. Mr. Shh, whose real name is Rhett Rakhshani, is known for killing his opponents slowly, drawing penalties by falling on the ice if so much as the breeze from an opponent passes his way, then whining like a little baby until the Pioneers get a power play, which is where he takes his kill shot.

It's an epic battle, folks. Mr. Shh and the Pioneers vs. The Saint, Franchise Carroll, Critical Nick, Easy Wind Meyers, Pieces Greer and the rest of the seniors. Evil vs. Good. Boys vs. Men. Stupid Fat Creatures In Coonskin Caps vs. Bulldogs. And it's not going to be settled tonight, so stay tuned for this weekend.

Is anyone even going to understand this post?? It's not that obscure of a movie, is it??? Oh well. It's late. Just appreciate the genius.

Tougher in Alaska

Well, folks, I know that we've got our first WCHA series coming up next weekend. It's at UAA, where we often struggle. This is going to be a real test.

Now, I know I've said that this year is going to be different in so many ways. And I got advanced copy of some video that shows me just how serious our guys are about making this the best season we've had in years. They've been training all summer to get prepped for this series so we can start out 2-0 in the WCHA.

No one was more serious than tUMD's resident badass, Drew Akins.














This will give you an idea of some of the training measures Drew undertook in order to be prepared for what will be his breakout season.












Here, Drew is setting out to do what we call the Duluth Rodeo, which involves lassoing ships anchored off-shore and hauling them into port.




















Here he is preparing to gnaw through a telephone pole. This way if someone knocks off his helmet his teeth will be tough enough to chew through bone. I wish he'd wear more safety gear, though.














This is Drew's haul from the Duluth Rodeo. These boats were full of salmon and he ate it all.














After singlehandedly building and erecting this oil derrick, Drew has tapped an oil deposit rich enough to fuel the entire country until we can figure out how to wean ourselves off of petroleum products. He's about to do some pullups, or maybe bend some of the girders with his bare hands. I won't say which.

Not everything about this training exercise has been grunt work. Drew also honed his concentration and finishing skills by making this nice boat.













Here he is with Jordan Fulton testing out his new creation in the icy waters off the Alaskan coast.

Some of his teammates joined him on his quest to prove himself more efficient than a steam-powered drill. Drew Akins is a steel-drivin' man. I should mention that being on television adds 10 pounds, but in their case it was added exclusively to their heads. First person to guess correctly all 6 of the guys in the background gets a free beer of their choice at the Curling Club during the Wisconsin series in November.

Based on all the hard work Drew's been putting in, plus his new role on the power play and his general badass characteristics, I foresee great things this coming weekend. 4 points, boys!

Debut

tUMD 5, WMU 2

I'm in Duluth! Hooray! And actually connected to the internet! Which is a plus! Although, I can't connect on my own computer, which is depressing. I can't update my glorious spreadsheet of numbers.

I had some struggles on the way up. I was pretty excited to get on the road (once I finally got my gear in order... it took awhile, but it didn't really matter since without the Grandma's luncheon, it didn't matter so much what time I arrived), and when I drive by myself, I usually rock out pretty hard to some music. If you were to drive alongside of me, you would probably do a double take, or at least laugh. Yes, I really am screaming along to the songs. Anyway, as soon as I got on 169, I turned on an 80s rock mix I had made to get myself pumped up for the games! As if I needed any assistance, but still. The first song on was "Eye of the Tiger" which is a fairly moto song... Well, I was so excited to get on the road that I missed my usual exit at 694 (I was just so excited to go north I forgot I needed to go east, too) and didn't realize it until I was at a really long stoplight and couldn't figure out why. Oops. I called around trying to find someone to help me get back on track, and who comes to my rescue? Well, the guy who rescues people on a fairly regular basis: Fire Helmet Guy. Of course, by the time he got back to me, I had already implemented a plan (find a major road that runs east-west and get on it), but it was still nice of him to help me out. I can't believe I actually said something nice that didn't have some hidden insult to it. I'm growing as a person right before your eyes.

FHG also filled me in on the Dubay situation. My initial reaction was a laugh but really, it's more sad than anything. I won't discuss it here, as it really has nothing to do with tUMD other than when he said we were terrible and I yelled at him about it and then made him pose with me for a picture. I look totally deranged in that photo.

I talked to DA as well and he mentioned the polls and their utter failure. We freaking smoked Northern and we're not even ranked yet? He seemed appalled. I commented that we get no respect, no regard neither. tDogs are the Rodney Dangerfield of the hockey world.

Once I got to Duluth I was welcomed by a huge ship going out, which was nice. I don't usually go out of my way to try to catch a ship coming in or anything, but if it's there, yeah I'm going to watch it and take photos. I forgot to take photos at the game, sadly. Whoopsie. Then I went over to tDECC to buy my tickets (which took forever since I was buying for tonight, tomorrow night, and the Wisconsin games, and in different quantities) and saw the guys running their laps around the concourse. Some cute little kid that was probably playing in the Little Chippers game saw them and was like "Is that the team?" and he was all atwitter. Well, so was I, but I was more discreet. See, I have restraint. You were all thinking I'd be over there with my nose pressed against the glass slobbering over them. Well HA! I wasn't. I couldn't really tell who anyone was except Bordson because he has that terrible bleached hair. I think I recognized Josh Meyers too. Maybe. Who cares. I know you all don't.

OF COURSE I pregamed at the Curling Club, which involved a dice game, Jag Bombs, and loudness. Lots of loudness. The good thing about DHG is he is louder than me. I know most people would say that's not a good quality, but I'm sometimes self-conscious about my loudness, especially if I am loud near a bunch of quiet people, so it was nice to be around someone else loud. I had to buy a shot for this drinking game and the bartender did not know how to make it. I had to use a lifeline.

We made it to the game just in time for the puck drop, which is fine with me. It was just so great to see my 'Dogs back in action!!! Of course I was getting all hot and bothered every time JCON touched the puck because I soooo want to see him score a goal, but he is such a great set-up man that if he never scored a goal but got an assist in every game I would not put him on notice. THREE ASSISTS!! THREE!!! AMAZING!!! I thought someone had injured him at one point and was ready to cut a bitch, but he ended up being ok. I'm already hearing comparisons between Evan Schwabe and him, and we all know how I feel about Evan...

As for the game winning goal... well, I know that B2 wasn't working nor was the audio feed online, but oh baby, it was a highlight reel goal... if there were actually highlights one could reel. But NO. The only hockey on TV in Duluth tonight was some stupid game in some hick town in Western MN. Mike Connolly made an absolutely sick move to the net and beat the goalie, plain and simple. I was so depressed that it was in the second period because it was at the other end of the rink so I didn't have a close-up view, but I could watch that play over and over and over and over again and love it more each time.

Justin Fontaine continues to bring the amazingness I knew he'd be bringing. That's all I have to say on that. 2 goals, the first one not even two minutes into the game (Remember when that used to be us, giving up early goals? Well, not anymore!) and the second on the power play.

When the game ticked down to its final minutes, the Broncos decided to pull their goalie. I happen to think it was a futile effort (we just rock too hard to let them come back) but it also showed a lot of character on their team's part. They weren't just going to roll over and die, and I think it's difficult to keep that focus when you lose a lot of games. Granted it is early in the season but it's not like last year they were tearing it up in the CCHA. We took a timeout shortly after that and DHG and Boody decided that it was to set up Stalock for a goal. We were pretty excited and started screaming at him that we wanted a goal. The three of us are pretty loud and the DECC isn't all that big so I know that he heard us. I mean, we were practically the only people left in tDECC anyway. Which is another issue altogether. When we're losing, I guess I can kind of see leaving early, but when we win, we should be cheering at the end!! A win is a beautiful thing and should be basked in!!!

Anyway, Stalock didn't get a chance to score because Nick Kemp had to go and ruin everything and get the empty netter instead. My companions were not pleased. I do think it would be totally amazing for Stalock to get a goal. We gave Nick a little razzing. But Nick! We kid because we love!!

My main criticism of tonight's effort is the 3rd period. A TWO GOAL LEAD IS NOT A SAFE LEAD! IT IS NOT. AT ALL. EVER. I've made every formatting change I could to try to emphasize this point. The boys seemed to sit back on their heels a bit (not all of them, I still saw some guys out there hustling) and seemed content with the game as it was. Our defense seemed to break down toward the end. WMU had 11 SOG through two periods and we let them get 12 in the 3rd. That should not have happened. We should have continued to attack. We may be Bulldogs but we need to behave like pit bulls some times. Rabid pit bulls. Both of Western's goals were on the power play, which is a bummer because usually our PK is so good, but sometimes if a team has a strong PK it makes them a little less concerned about taking penalties, and if a team takes a lot of penalties, eventually they're going to give up some PPGs. We did survive a 2-man advantage unscathed, though.

For tomorrow night, I'm hoping adjustments are made and we see a much tighter game, similar to the differences between the Lake State game and the Northern game. The guys played so-so against Lake State, made adjustments, and came out flying against the Wildcats. I'm thinking maybe another shut-out? Or is that too much to ask?

The Numbers
Wins until we equal last season's total: 9 (STILL non-conference)
Points until we equal last season's total: 23 (STILL ditto)

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 5! (Assisted on the AMAZING GWG and the ENG)
Jack Connolly: 3! (Hat trick of assists!!! SO HOTTT!!!!)
Michael Gergen: 1! (And it was an assist, Chris. An ASSIST!)
Rob Bordson: 0 (Looked so cute running around the DECC for warmups, though!)

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 5!
Jack Connolly: 3!
Scott Kishel: 0
Brady Lamb: 0
Travis Oleksuk: 0
David Grun: ###

On Notice:
Still nobody, but some guys had better kick it into gear or they will be!

Hits from the Blog

Pick it, pack it, fire it up, come along and read some hits from the blog...

I know, it's lazy, but it's entertaining to me at least. One of the things I love about this blog is, even though no one reads it, I still get hits. Judging from some of these keywords, most of the people coming here are sociopaths, but I'm pleased with that.

(Also, folks, what did we learn from last week's MVP??? That if a player is a healthy scratch or isn't playing to his potential, it is most likely because he was left handcuffed to a bed by a crazy skank with a dollhouse who falsely accused him of rape and wears crazy wigs. Also, midgets are evil and will stab you in the back, and there's no point in quitting drinking because life will suck anyway. I haven't watched this week's ep. yet, but I KNOW it's going to be AMAZING.)

Anyway, here. Here is what the once and future mass murderers of the world are using as keywords for their desperate searches:

Hockey-related

grawler for checking amateurs because our grawler is a checking professional

scsu bulldog blog gonna be searching for that for a long time, buddy

umd brooms hockey decc gopher ahh, sweet memories

jordan parise naked gouge my eyes out with a rusty nail!

brian salcido kiss possible cause of the mono?

does tj oshie have have a girlfriend? 2nd most popular hit on this blog, after david james elliott shirtless.

rob bordson loves michael gergen i love him, too. i also love rob bordson.

what does the t in tumd mean ask the expert!

minnesota state mankato nick kemp blog people need to read the media guide more closely.

colby genoway in bed ok, seriously. someone is messing with me. that's the grossest thought ever conceived.

taylor chorney's girlfriend ...is me.

mike curry muscular agreed

how good is stalock he's like buttah.

jason garrison brown bear kill kodiak alaska he is SO badasssssss.

robbie earl engaged even a blind squirrel finds a nut.

Semi-hockey-related

duluth, party, football, crazy, bulldogs consider this my rsvp

marney gellner big ass screw you, she just had a baby!

stearns county syndrome, examples see uscho for a plethora

proper way to wear a toga get advice from the godfather

deer fhg yeah, probably not going to happen once he gets into the yukon.

maroon fire helmet needs redecoration!

check me from behind ohhh yeah baby

marney gellner husband yes, she has one, despite speculation to the contrary

minnesota gophers plastic cup 1986 i'm sure you'll find one in mint condition, cardinal.

fatass fhg possible typo?

What the???

depantsing from behind the only way to do it!
jordan dancer at mettlers that hit probably came from brooklyn center.
s i am so amazing, one can get to my site with a mere letter.
dogs eat man, but don't quite finish i hope they have tupperware.
rhino lined bong would probably harsh the buzz
picture of bad hair on ugly man that would be like 95% of the WCHA player photos.
why do dogs hypervenilate well, rob green, it cools them.
journalism useless major word.
how will wolves be in a hundred years mean as f***, evolution isn't that efficient.
snowmobile gauntlet alternate title for my interview with skeeterman
mankato hotties sex for free also probably came from brooklyn center
dying puppies in saint cloud i didn't think their season was that bad.
sexy mitosis technically correct
do dogs know when you look at them ugly? yes, why are you so mean?
deer attacks dog in hermantown preferrably a dachsund
bleeding from ears get off the internet and CALL 911!
what would worf do probably live in his mom's basement and get a job as a computer programmer. are you happy?
sweatpants for dogs conspicuous consumption
what happened to curly headed guy on alltel commercial? i'm hoping for "he died a painful death." or "prison bitch."
cougar bars in minnesota i would buy that in pamphlet form!
what means if boy holds your hair you've probably had too much tequila.
i has blog i shove i does!
bootcamp haircut bleeding maybe you shouldn't have mouthed off to the DI, private joker.
mile high club penalties possibly checking from behind, or spearing.
bed and breakfasts that except tdogs i would assume all. at least i would hope, for my honeymoon with Evan S.
photo of jason giambi drinking jack daniels from a bottle glad it's not "photos of RWD" doing the same thing

Lithium

UMD 3, Ref Complainers 8

What kind of a fanbase whines about officiating when their team wins by 5 goals? UND Blogger Goon should be ashamed of himself. Evidently, Sioux fans are only satisfied when zero penalties are called on the Sioux and their opponent is down 2 men for the entire game. Plus, since the UND PP was pretty much crap last night, I would think they wouldn't want to showcase that too much. Not that they'd ever give our PK any credit.

Yeah, I know, I sound like a sore loser right now. It's not that. I just hate playing this series. I resent the implication by many of the UND fans that we don't even deserve to play their team, that we should just roll over and die because our team is worthless and the only team worth their time is UMTC, with whom they are obsessed. I really wish that tDogs could have shown that we were better than that, and for moments during the game, they did. I felt like I developed acute bipolar disorder during the course of the game.

There are five parts to this game. I will divide and conquer.

The first 6 or so minutes of the game were fine. It didn't seem like much was going on. Blah blah blah.

Then UND scored 3 goals in 1:23, including a goal that didn't take any skill on their part, just garbage play on our part, 45 seconds after our timeout. I was crabby beyond belief at this point. My cat was cowering in fear.

With 3 seconds left in the period, Nick Kemp scored ON THE POWER PLAY. FINALLY, A POWER PLAY GOAL! RAISE A BANNER! (Wait, this isn't St. Cloud.) To start the 2nd period, we scored 2 more goals in the first 5 minutes, including Kyle Schmidt's first Bulldog goal (!!!) and Mike Montgomery's first assist (!!!), and it was tied. I was on top of the world. My 'Dogs had shown they could come back with a vengeance.

Then it was 4-3, and then 5-3, and I was still pretty much okay, thinking you know, at least we fought a good fight, and that stupid crap goal was no longer the GWG.

When it became 6-3, I was back to pissed off again. And then the rest of the game happened, and then I lay siege on Tokyo.

Photo: Associated Press.

I'm hoping we can come back tonight and play well defensively as well as offensively. We're a Saturday night team, and I know we can recover! Let's split it, 'Dogs!!

THE NUMBERS
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 4
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 11

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 7
Michael Gergen: 6!
Matt McKnight: 5
Mike Curry: 1

Freshmen:
Justin Fontaine: 3!
Cody Danberg: 1
Rob Bordson: 1
Kyle Schmidt: 1!!!!!!!!
Mike Montgomery: 1!!!!!!!!
Chad Huttel: 0
Evan Oberg: 0 (INJ)

On Notice:
Points
Evan Oberg
Jay Cascalenda
Andrew Carroll
Matt Greer
Cody Danberg
Jordan Fulton

Goals only
Drew Akins
Jason Garrison
Travis Gawryletz
Alex Stalock
Trent Palm
MacGregor Sharp
Justin Fontaine

2-2, 2-2, 2-2

UMD Attack Dogs 2, Lake State Lakers 2.

Well, here we are folks, the long wait is over, the season is underway, and there's already controversy! Not in tDogs game, of course, but in the Gopher/RPI game, where the hometown call was in full effect. I don't want to get into it, as this is not a Gopher site, but I had the game on TV while I was watching tDogs, so I did see what went down. And it was UGLY.

Conversely, in the Bulldogs game, I wouldn't say the officiating was that poor. I mean, I may have raised my arm a few times when I felt the officials missed something, but I did appreciate the Bulldogs were allowed to play with a physicality unseen in the past few seasons. Kemper the Wrecker was breaking skulls all over the place, and overall the guys were playing the body a lot more. I can't wait to see what Mike Curry can do with the New Bulldogs. Elbows will be flying!

I was pretty disappointed with some of the first power plays, as I like to see a lot more shots on the power play, and for crying out loud, when you go into the corner with someone, YOU COME OUT WITH THE PUCK WHEN YOU HAVE THE MAN ADVANTAGE. You just do, okay? I don't care how you do it. But then I was placated with a power play goal, and our penalty kill kept the streak alive, so all in all, I'm pleased with the outcome. We did have some interesting PP units, as I saw Fontaine out there quite a bit (the B2 feed makes it hard to see 1. numbers on jerseys and 2. the puck, which is a bit challenging), but hey, we got a goal.

And the freshman. Oh mother, were they fun to watch! When I got the lineups for the game, I thought hmm... an all-freshman line... I don't know about that. Then I figured they'd just see limited ice time. And yet, they were out there regular-shifting (it seems... can't tell who was on the ice, remember?) and they seemed pretty good. We already know that I am a big fan of Rob Bordson (he is #15, and I tend to like players with #15!), but The Danberg is quickly becoming my favorite freshman. Those guys seemed to cycle fairly well and hustled. I felt they had a few pretty good scoring chances as well.

It was very, very wrong for there to be a player named Schwab (except, no e) from Saskatchewan playing, and have it not be the Almighty One.

Trent Palm = awesome. We are going to get so many freaking goals from the defencemen this year. Garrison was letting it rip, Chaser was letting it rip, Palm was letting it rip, Oberg is known to give some offensive production, Meyers has proven himself offensively already, and Gawryletz looks like a serial killer, so no one is going to score on him. We have not seen Chad Huttel yet, but I have heard he likes to bang around the body (The Hutt was also a halfback/middle linebacker for the Hawks), which I always appreciate.

Al made some crucial saves, but I could always, always, always use more rebound control and puck awareness. I'll never get tired of that, so don't stop, baby. I am overly critical of goalies, so I'm going to stop there, because seriously, what do I know?

My Guys played well, as they ALWAYS DO, for they are My Guys. MacGregor Sharp was a one-man playmaking machine, and he assisted on Trent Palm's goal, which was totally sweet and right off the face-off. I love goals like that, and I feel like we have the defencemen to score a lot of those. I love the element of surprise. Gergen created a scoring chance out of absolutely nowhere, and let me tell you, it is no surprise that Sharp and Gergzilla led the team with 5 shots apiece. Matt McKnight played to his usual Matt McKnight awesomeness, although he did not stand out as much as the other two. I probably should have taken notes on the game, as I'd have more to say. Mike Curry, as we all know, did not play. I can only assume that he would have had a hat trick and prevented both LSSU goals.

I am SO GLAD I am able to watch the games on TV now. Seriously, it has made recapping WAY more fun, and I can get a little more technical, although that is not my strong suit. $50 is SO worth it for the season pass!

Tomorrow's forecast will be a little late, as I have something going on all day, and then have to go in to work for an hour or so. I can't say that it will be all that exciting, excecpt that I'm not very happy Tech lost to Northern, as we don't need Northern to come in with any momentum. However, they do have to bus it over to Duluth, so that should wear them down a bit.

THE NUMBERS (back despite zero demand!)
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 8 (conference-only)
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 20 (ditto)

My Guys:
MacGregor Sharp: 1
Everyone Else: Zipparoo

Freshmen:
Nobody scored... yet

On Notice (for those who don't know, people are On Notice when they go more than 4 games without a goal):
No one, obvs.

TOMORROW: Win! Win! Win! Let history repeat itself, copying last year's opening weekend! Then don't let history repeat itself ANYMORE, as the rest of the first half kind of sucked a lot.