The Gauntlet: Nerd Edition

Oh yes, that's right. We're going to Michigan Tech this weekend, and if you go to Michigan Tech, you're a nerd by definition. This is okay for me to say, as I am a nerd as well.

RWD sent the message out early.
RWD: when are you going to accept my challenge? :::slaps MEg with a glove:::: I DEMAND SATISFACTION

But the interview didn't start until later.
RWD: Let's begin with what's on the front page of all the scandal sheets: your love affair with Casey Borer. How did this come about?

MEg: When St. Cloud came to Houghton last season one of the [MTU] Huskies got a breakaway. Everyone knew it was going to go in, including Captain Borer himself. He got himself "tangled up" away from play with one of the [MTU] Huskies and oops! Off goes his helmet, in goes the puck past Bobby. I had a feeling that we wouldn't get to keep that one. The captains skated over to the box, waiting for a decision on the goal. While they were standing there, I was so angry and I was screaming at Casey as loud as I could. Finally, he looked at me as I'm yelling at him and my face is getting all red. He watches me for a bit, then he winks at me. I instantly shut up. The ref came out of the box and called off the goal. The fans were angry, but I just stood there like, "He winked at me!" ... That was when I decided that this guy could be a lot of fun. Tomorrow's game, I would make a sign for him... something along the lines of "BORER WANTS ME." Sweet justice was served in that game, as we won in OT. The next night, I did exactly as I had planned. He saw [the sign] and smiled, shaking his head. During warm ups, I went to stand behind their net. He smiled everytime he skated by. He even blew me a kiss. I prayed and prayed that he'd get into the box. [The penalty box, sickos!] Finally, at 6:00 into the second period, my dreams came true. He skated slowly to the penalty box, and I was right beside it the whole time, holding my sign with the biggest grin ever. Once he sat down... it started.

The following is a dialogue between MEg and Casey Borer.
Me: Casey, I think you and I shared a moment over there.
Casey (as he's looking and smiling at me): No, I don't think we did.
Me: Casey, I think you and I have a future together!
Casey (still looking and smiling at me): No, I don't think we do.
Me: Casey! I think I LOVE YOU! I need to know... do you feel the same way about me?!
Casey (no longer looking, no longer smiling): Nope!
End dialogue.

MEg: And it went on and on for all two minutes of his penalty. When his penalty was over, I guarantee he was the HAPPIEST guy in the MacInnes. Tech lost that game 0-7, but it was the most fun I've ever had at a hockey game. Part 2 of the Casey Borer saga continued later that season in St. Cloud. I brought the sign with me, plus a new one for his girlfriend, which read, "CARLY, I'M STEALING YOUR MAN!" The third and final part of this saga will be on 1-2 December this year.

RWD: Wow. That's a whole new direction The Gauntlet could take. Actual players. But he's not even attractive... does he just have a certain je ne sais quoi?

MEg: I think he's pretty cute. Maybe his pictures don't do him justice. But he is definitely cute. However, cuteness has nothing to do with it, as my victim of Minnesota was Phil Kessel. It's just whoever gives me the attention. [Well now, that's just sad.]

RWD: I see. So we have a little self-esteem issue going on? You should wait for someone who values you as a person.

MEg: I think Casey does.

RWD: Well, I'm not a therapist. [translation: You are deluded, but I'm not going to pursue the matter.]

MEg: That's a good thing.

RWD: Whoa, whoa. Only I can make smart remarks. So was the Casey Borer Affair just a way to make Dirty jealous?

MEg: Yes, but don't tell anyone. Especially Dirty. He thinks I'm just doing it to be funny.

RWD: Don't worry. I will not tell anyone. And what about Eli? How does he fit into this sordid game?

MEg: Eli is an awesome guy with an awesome last name. My Eli craze is mostly because I'm one of 5 people who know how to pronounce his last name correctly. I could even do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back. [Whatever flaps your chaps, doll.]

RWD: How do you think Bruce Ciskie will do with that?

MEg: If he's nice to me, I'll help him before the game on Friday and teach him how to say it. But I think Ciskie's going to do like every other non-Tech radio announcer: SLAUGHTER it. Unless I save him, of course.

RWD: And in general, what is your opinion of Bruce Ciskie?

MEg: He's a big wuss. I'm pretty sure my mom could beat him up.

RWD: I see. Do you have a grudge against Bruce?

MEg: A little bit of one, yes. I was angry with him for wussing out the last time he came to Houghton. I told him to go to the bar with me afterward, then he started whining about being too tired. I'm not going to let him get away with it this year, and he's fully aware.

RWD: Bruce is not as young as he once was.

MEg: I also believe he was responsible for sending his crew down at the DECC last January to make me the "Fan in the Stands," to get back at me for those signs I made for him. [The signs said "My mom can beat up Bruce Ciskie.]

RWD: Didn't you get free stuff for being a Fan In The Stands?

MEg: If you count humilation free, yes. Otherwise, no. Was I supposed to?! I think I got screwed!

RWD: Yeah I thought you got a gift certificate for pizza. [Or possibly skate sharpening at Stewart's Bikes and Sports, 1502 E. Superior St. in Duluth.]

MEg: No! I didn't get anything! I'm gonna make Ciskie buy me a pizza when he comes to town this weekend. Ciskie, if you're reading this: Friday night at the Ambassador. And he thought he was going to get away with it!

RWD: So sneaky! :::consults notes::: okay, mocked MEg, took shots at Ciskie... How did you become a Tech fan in the first place? It's not like you are old enough to remember the "glory days."

MEg: I came here knowing that I would have to go to the hockey games. I'd never been to one in my life. The first games I saw my freshman year were against NMU. The first one there, we lost in OT due to being on the wrong side of a 5-on-3. But the atmosphere, the game itself.. all so awesome. The next game is why I am who I am today. It's why I'm president of the Misfits. It's why I go on lots of road trips. It's why I post on USCHO. It's why I write for the THB. [I think she means the Tech Hockey Blog.] It's why I'm being embarrassed in this interview right now. [Well, That was the amazing comeback game where Tech was down by 3 goals with 2:30 left in the game and we came back and won it in OT. Most AMAZING feeling I've ever had.

RWD: Lovely. So you were banned from tPenalty Box message board... what for?

MEg: I think it was an error on their part. Luckily I'm a very forgiving person. And if it wasn't that, it was likely because I went off on them because of the disrespect they showed during the Star Spangled Banner, which doesn't ever sit well with me. I think I was banned after two posts though, which if I'm not mistaken, is a record there.

RWD: Wow. So, what are we going to see this weekend?

MEg: Michigan Tech Huskies and the Minnesota-Duluth Bulldogs battling it out for four conference posts. I can't give you much more past that. I can guarantee you that Mitch's Misfits will be rocking the place, which is never a good thing for the opposition. Hopefully you'll be seeing some solid Tech goaltending and very few shots on goal for your team. It's really great to see that we have good defense this year, which is a new concept to me. And who knows which Husky lines will score? They've all been producing. It's very special to have a team of players who all work together and the talent is spread throughout. Much different from what I'm used to, where 1-3 players are the team.

RWD: Is your team ready for the offensive machine that is Mike Curry?

MEg: Yup. They're going to shut him down this weekend. Minus maybe 1-5 points that he may get.

RWD: And all within about a minute of each other.

MEg: If he only scores one goal, how can it be within a minute of itself?

RWD: More like 5. Or perhaps some points will be assists, to McFarland or Gorsalitz. [You heard it here first, people. McFarland's getting a goal this weekend!]

MEg: Nope.

RWD: You said 1-5 points yourself.

MEg: I was leaning toward one.

RWD: You'll be kicking yourself when it's 5.

MEg: So if it comes to be 5, I'm gonna have to hope for 6.

RWD: 6? I don't know if he has THAT many points in him... Oh, you were speaking of your own team.

MEg: No, actually I wasn't.

RWD: Well I guess you have to be realistic. [Please, tack on more! Why not 7 or 8?] Unlike certain fans from last weekend who predicted the 'Dogs would be blown out.

MEg: Stupid Adam. I was really pulling for you guys

RWD: I hope you filled in the mad libs with some good words.

MEg: Oh, I did.

RWD: Superb. How do you feel about the rest of the WCHA? Any teams you hate?

MEg: I've got a ridiculous amount of like for the rest of the WCHA. [She really said that. A ridiculous amount of like. My head is still spinning.] Anchorage is definitely my second favorite team. As a fan of a team that hasn't been doing so great in recent years, I know how they feel when they pull of a big win... or a win, period. My apologies in advance to DG and my favorite DU fans, but I have a softspot for CC. The colors, 1957, and such a small school for a DI hockey program. I think Tech relates to them a lot. As far as teams I hate... it's actually kind of hard when I have so many friends that are fans of the WCHA schools. Sometimes when I become good friends with other fans, their team doesn't bother me as much. UND is a perfect example of that. I really used to hate them (due largely to Greene, Blais, Bochenski, and Parise). I'm over all of that now. I also didn't used to like Mankato for one reason or another. But I've recently become good friends with one of their zamboni drivers. I'm pretty much alright with any WCHA team unless Tech is playing them that night. Though if I had to pick one team that I disliked the most... Gophers. (Probably more info than you wanted.)

RWD: This is an interview, not a memoir... So who's your favorite Husky right now?

MEg: Toss up between three: Mike Batovanja, Eli Vlaisavljevich, and Kevin Hachey.

RWD: And your favorite guy to ever put on the Husky uniform?

MEg: Gotta go with Conner. Pittis is a close second. Short people making noise on the ice is awesome.

RWD: I agree. My all-time fave is also very short.

MEg: I'm also really going to miss John Scott. He showed the greatest appreciation of all the Husky Hockey players to the fans, and especially the Misfits. He will be (and is) missed in the MacInnes.

RWD: And on the streets of Houghton.

MEg: Well, maybe not there.

RWD: Excellent. Prediction for this weekend?

MEg: I hate doing predictions because 1. I'm always wrong and 2. I hate being wrong. I'm just going to say split. UMD normally does really well in our building, but I don't want to let them get away with more than 2 points this weekend.

RWD: All right. So following that prediction, UMD will sweep.

As a post-script, I'd like to point out that MeanEgirl had a very real but very groundless fear of this interview. She was afraid it wouldn't be funny. Keep in mind, if it isn't, it's not my fault. Remember the policy I laid out in my interview with DG.