05 November 2006

Dog Libs

A few days ago, I got a comment on this site that I nearly missed, but I thought it was good enough to share with the rest of you:

"I wrote a long comment and must have hit the wrong thing. Last thing I said was NO BAD WORDS after this weeks deal with the Guffers." That was from none other than Gramps, RWD correspondent for the Southeastern United States, and also real life grandfather of me.

Okay then. No bad words. So what we see here is that the only times it is appropriate to use bad words are:
1. When hunting for wild animals.
2. When the motor on your car/boat/jumbo jet is not working.
3. When someone accidentally sets off a fire extinguisher in your car.

I can work with that. But this weekend's been tough. I know everyone out there wants to use a few "magic words" after the Friday night fun. Fun is not actually the word I was looking for there, but I can't use that one, I guess. So, here's what we'll do. I'll write about the Friday hijinx, and leave some words out. You can fill in your own. It'll be fun, like mad libs! A game! Whee!!!

Friday night the UMD Bulldogs faced off against the (adjective) UMTC Gophers. The officiating in the game was (adjective), lead by referee Don Adam, who was (gerund) his (noun) instead of doing his job. Adam called a (adjective) check-from-behind major on Bulldog superstar Mason Raymond when the 'Dogs were already down a man. Then the 'Dogs managed to kill the first penalty, and score shorthanded. However, Don Adam, being such a (noun), decided to review the goal. After (number) minutes of (gerund), he decided to disallow the goal AND assess a too many men on the ice penalty, since his ARs had their (plural noun) up their (plural noun). I guess everyone in the WCHA just wants to (verb) Lucia's (noun). (Adjective)! Later in the game, with 5 minutes to go, Adam calls a check-from-behind major on Alex Goligoski, (who, by the way, isn't fit to (verb) Raymond's (noun)). The 'Dogs were buzzing, but with 12 seconds left, (adjective) captain Mike Vanelli decided to be a (noun) and knock the net loose on purpose. Adam, being the (noun) that he is, instead of awarding a penalty shot, took the faceoff OUT OF THE ZONE. (Verb) that (noun).

Okay, my job's done. Your turn!

*FYI, St. Cloud fans: A gerund is an "ing" verb.

4 comments:

Goon said...

I can think of a nother appropriate time to throw out a f'bomb. Your on the tee, you have out of bounds on the left, a pond on the right. You push your tee shot into the pond. You re-tee your ball and now your hitting your third shoot from the tee. You chilly dip your tee shot out of bounds. I am pretty sure you going to say F'bomb.

Shooting wild animals, your hunting ducks, a green head comes into your decoys and you unload your gun, watching the greenie fly off. F'bomb response appropriate at this time.

LetsGoMavs said...

Great post! I loved Mad Libs as a kid...so I think I put some pretty good words into the spaces:) Your "fyi" cracked me up. Sorry about the loss and crappy ref job. Atleast your team didn't look like crap and get swept by the Beavers. The only funny thing about that was picking up the local paper on Saturday and the big, bold headline saying "Mavericks fall flat against Beavers". HAHAHAHAHA! True storyline....

Runninwiththedogs said...

OMG.. excellent headline!

Also, Goon, you are right. The golf course is another place it is appropriate to curse, under the Gramps Law.

mom said...

yes, just ask uncle H about cursing on the golf course.......tee-hee!