26 July 2008

Hits from the Blog

Pick it, pack it, fire it up, come along and read some hits from the blog...

I know, it's lazy, but it's entertaining to me at least. One of the things I love about this blog is, even though no one reads it, I still get hits. Judging from some of these keywords, most of the people coming here are sociopaths, but I'm pleased with that.

(Also, folks, what did we learn from last week's MVP??? That if a player is a healthy scratch or isn't playing to his potential, it is most likely because he was left handcuffed to a bed by a crazy skank with a dollhouse who falsely accused him of rape and wears crazy wigs. Also, midgets are evil and will stab you in the back, and there's no point in quitting drinking because life will suck anyway. I haven't watched this week's ep. yet, but I KNOW it's going to be AMAZING.)

Anyway, here. Here is what the once and future mass murderers of the world are using as keywords for their desperate searches:

grawler for checking amateurs because our grawler is a checking professional
scsu bulldog blog gonna be searching for that for a long time, buddy
umd brooms hockey decc gopher ahh, sweet memories
jordan parise naked gouge my eyes out with a rusty nail!
brian salcido kiss possible cause of the mono?
does tj oshie have have a girlfriend? 2nd most popular hit on this blog, after david james elliott shirtless.
rob bordson loves michael gergen i love him, too. i also love rob bordson.
what does the t in tumd mean ask the expert!
minnesota state mankato nick kemp blog people need to read the media guide more closely.
colby genoway in bed ok, seriously. someone is messing with me. that's the grossest thought ever conceived.
taylor chorney's girlfriend ...is me.
mike curry muscular agreed
how good is stalock he's like buttah.
jason garrison brown bear kill kodiak alaska he is SO badasssssss.
robbie earl engaged even a blind squirrel finds a nut.

duluth, party, football, crazy, bulldogs consider this my rsvp
marney gellner big ass screw you, she just had a baby!
stearns county syndrome, examples see uscho for a plethora
proper way to wear a toga get advice from the godfather
deer fhg yeah, probably not going to happen once he gets into the yukon.
maroon fire helmet needs redecoration!
check me from behind ohhh yeah baby
marney gellner husband yes, she has one, despite speculation to the contrary
minnesota gophers plastic cup 1986 i'm sure you'll find one in mint condition, cardinal.
fatass fhg possible typo?

What the???
depantsing from behind the only way to do it!
jordan dancer at mettlers that hit probably came from brooklyn center.
s i am so amazing, one can get to my site with a mere letter.
dogs eat man, but don't quite finish i hope they have tupperware.
rhino lined bong would probably harsh the buzz
picture of bad hair on ugly man that would be like 95% of the WCHA player photos.
why do dogs hypervenilate well, rob green, it cools them.
journalism useless major word.
how will wolves be in a hundred years mean as f***, evolution isn't that efficient.
snowmobile gauntlet alternate title for my interview with skeeterman
mankato hotties sex for free also probably came from brooklyn center
dying puppies in saint cloud i didn't think their season was that bad.
sexy mitosis technically correct
do dogs know when you look at them ugly? yes, why are you so mean?
deer attacks dog in hermantown preferrably a dachsund
bleeding from ears get off the internet and CALL 911!
what would worf do probably live in his mom's basement and get a job as a computer programmer. are you happy?
sweatpants for dogs conspicuous consumption
what happened to curly headed guy on alltel commercial? i'm hoping for "he died a painful death." or "prison bitch."
cougar bars in minnesota i would buy that in pamphlet form!
what means if boy holds your hair you've probably had too much tequila.
i has blog i shove i does!
bootcamp haircut bleeding maybe you shouldn't have mouthed off to the DI, private joker.
mile high club penalties possibly checking from behind, or spearing.
bed and breakfasts that except tdogs i would assume all. at least i would hope, for my honeymoon with Evan S.
photo of jason giambi drinking jack daniels from a bottle glad it's not "photos of RWD" doing the same thing

05 July 2008

Summer Nights

Okay, I know, I haven't written in a long time. 72 days, if you want a little precision. Which, let's face it, you don't, because it's not like you were wondering "Dang, when is she going to post again?"
Well, maybe one or two people were wondering. And they're not going to like this post anyway. So ha ha.
Things have occurred, like tUMD has a new coach, and Drew Olson was taken in the draft, and Carroll, Greer and Meyers were selected as the three captains of the 2009 NCAA Men's Ice Hockey Champions. You heard it here first. I also went to a game of the MN 4 on 4 Hockey League with MEg and was burned again (you may recall my first encounter with this sham of a league) by a lack of consistency between the online roster and the players present. We were, of course, looking for Casey Borer, MEg's ex-fiance. He's a member of the All-St. Cloud All-Night Competitive Eating team, but yet the only guy there we even remotely recognized was Brent Borgen, and who cares about him? There was another team playing, and they did have another notable player in Derrick LaPoint, but I don't really care about UND players other than Chris Porter. MEg had even brought a sign and we were going to reminisce with Casey about the old days. If the games weren't free to attend I'd definitely be contacting the BBB about this bait and switch operation. I'm never going back there again, even if they are trying to tempt me by setting up the Primerica team with FOUR current Bulldogs, a Bulldog alumnus, AND Ryan Carter. I'm sure they'll end up substituting in the Pee-Wee C Team from Brooklyn Center, and I'll have to wear a bullet-proof vest and pack heat.
What's INTERESTING and FABULOUS is this amazing new television show on Comcast Channel 120, otherwise known as SOAPNET. Just like General Hospital is an insight into what it's really like to work in a hospital, or The Young and the Restless is a snapshot of the lifestyle of a cosmetics executive, or Days of Our Lives showing us the day to day existence of the demonically possessed, MVP: He Shoots, She Scores is a gripping, true-to-life (I can only assume) serial drama about the lives and loves of professional hockey players. I think it's good for all of us to watch it so we can understand what happens to our superstars after they leave the college ranks and go pro. I'm wondering who from the WCHA was voted Most Likely to Stand Trial for Sexual Assault After Being Caught Videotaping His Sexual Encounter With a Girl He Had Previously Had a 3-way With While Being Haunted by the Ghost of the Wife and Daughter He Killed in a Car Wreck When He Was Driving High on Cocaine? Maybe Bickel? Or perhaps Brock Trotter? And which player is going to leave his weird trailer-park crimped-hair girlfriend and her senile grandmother back in Canada to pose in his underwear for some photo shoot and do ballet with the possibly underage daughter of the team's now-dead captain in her home which he bought and moved into while her mother works at a convenience store and sells weird apple juice smoothie drinks with her dead husband's hockey card on them? The smart money is on Wheeler there. And either Gabe Guentzel or Tony Lucia could end up as the sex maniac attempting to reform himself so he can sleep with a virgin preschool teacher while testifying that he was the guest star in the aforementioned 3-way and trying to fill the skates of the dead captain while preventing his dad/head coach from falling off the wagon (hint: it's too late!) and preventing the slutty reporter from finding out AND from getting into bed with him.
After that scintillating plot recap, I expect you all to be watching. Thursday nights at 10 p.m. central time.