I Don't Live Here Anymore

If you need me, I'm blogging at http://runninwiththedogs.com/. Update your links, fools!

1.21 Jigowatts

Greetings, comrades. I have traveled into the future; one hour, to be exact. I am somewhere in Pennsylvania, home the Ruiners of College Hockey. Whee!

I was hoping to have some posts while on vacation but I really don't. Driving through Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio and now Pennsylvania has been uninspiring, to say the least. Sorry. 3 weeks and one day and we are in college hockey nirvana, so hold fast.

Sneaky!

Nice try, tUMD. Did you think I wouldn't find out?

No one bothered to give me the memo that Justin May isn't the strength and conditioning coach for hockey anymore. I had to find out when I was messing around on the website and happened to see that there was a blank picture and this guy Blake Palmer's name underneath it.

Let me copy word-for-word what tUMD's website says about Mr. Palmer:

Making his debut with the UMD hockey program this fall is strength and conditioning coach Blake Palmer, who spent the past three years handling that same role with the United States Hockey League's Waterloo Blackhawks.

While working in Waterloo (where he also served for two seasons as the team's equipment manager), Palmer helped over 50 athletes realized their dream of playing NCAA I hockey and nine get selected in the National Hockey League draft. He also spent two years as a strength & conditioning coach for the XL Sports Acceleration Program while also working with the Blackhawks. While working here he had the opportunity to train current San Jose Shark Joe Pavelski. Before and during his first season with the Blackhawks he was also a graduate assistant strength and conditioning coach with the Division-I University of Northern Iowa. As a graduate assistant he worked with extensively with Women’s Softball and Men’s & Women’s Track & Field with the men’s program being a perennial top ten program. While also spending time with Men’s & Women’s Basketball and Football. While working as a graduate assistant he had the opportunity to train and coach with one of the world’s foremost Olympic weightlifting minds and former Chinese Olympic Weightlifter Jianping Ma who has coached three world record holders in Olympic weightlifting.

Palmer, a native of Northwood, Iowa, earned his bachelor’s degree in exercise science from the University of Northern Iowa in 2006 in exercise science and completed his coursework for his Master’s Degree in Exercise Physiology in 2008.

Palmer is originally from Northwood, Iowa, In his spare time he enjoys traveling, biking, the outdoors, and Olympic Weightlifting. He resides in Superior, Wis. with his dog Maverick.

Well then, welcome, I guess, although I WOULD HAVE LIKED AN INFORMATIVE ARTICLE ABOUT THIS.

Another problem: I noticed that not only does Mr. Palmer not have a photo, but neither does Brett Larson. I do NOT like to be deprived of photos of Le Larson!!!

You Don't Need a Weatherman to Know Which Way the Wind Blows

I have spent far, far too much time humiliating my poor little Jacky with Photoshop, while neglecting my other Guys.

Those days are over.

I use the Google Images search engine a lot to try to find random photos of Bulldog players other than their roster pix to use in various ways. So one day I was Googling Mike Seidel, because one cannot possibly have enough pictures of the hottest hottie to ever wear a Bulldog jersey, I learned that the Weather Channel has a meteorologist also named Mike Seidel.

So, the newest RWD feature is the Mike Seidel Travel Advisory. Mike will be bringing you the weather for the weekend, wherever the team might be. Exciting!

Have a Seat

My acquaintance, Dave, a master sports photographer, was kind enough to upload a scanned photo of the AMSoil Arena seating arrangements to the UMD Hockey fan group on Facebook. (I am sure you are all members.) So now I don't have to scan it myself! Thank you, Dave!

Behold:
























I made some adjustments:

Going Once... Going Twice...

As promised, a small update on the auction to benefit UMD equipment manager Chris Garner. It sounds like the online auction will start in October.

On his Facebook page there's a video of some of the items donated to the auction. I was hoping to embed the video but I'm not able to. So here it is.

For those of you not interested in clicking on the link, I'll give you a rundown of what's included on the video.

Hockey Sticks
Alex Stalock
Paul Stastny
Lord Parise
Tyler Bozak
various others

Signed Jerseys
Joe Sakic (Avalanche)
Mike Modano (Dallas)
Alex Stalock (tUMD)
Red Berenson (Michigan)

College Jerseys
St. Lawrence
Denver
UCONN (3)
RPI
Notre Dame (2)
Cornell
UND (2)
Alaska
Vermont
Brown
Buttmidji
Mankato
Michigan Tech
tOSU (2)
3 that I can't identify. They might say in the video but I've only watched on mute. (Bruce helped me; they are Miami, Merrimack and Army.)

Other Jerseys
Peoria Rivermen (AHL)(2)
Southern MN Express (NAHL)

This is an awesome opportunity for jersey enthusiasts to add to their collections while supporting an awesome person. The hockey world is full of top-notch individuals and institutions with generous hearts and minds!

Letters of Recommendation

***UPDATE*** I emailed the DECC staff last night and got an awesome response today that they had received my postcard. Can I just say again that I LOVE the DECC staff?

Exciting news!!!

Yesterday I got my seat selection information for AMSoil Arena!

I am practically last on the list. I pick 26 October at 4:45 PM. I should have donated some money earlier so that I could increase my priority points. However, that donation request came during the Buttmidji series. Recall here. Anyway, I don't really care except since I have to take time off work to drive up, I'd prefer to have picked on the 25th, which is a Monday. Or on the 27th, which is my birthday. Whatever. The things I do for this team...

Anyway, I got an entire master's thesis on ticket ordering from the ticket office. It included a gold postcard that I MUST SEND BACK BY SEPTEMBER 10TH OR I WILL BE KILLED AND MY SEASON TICKETS GIVEN TO WAR ORPHANS, a hand-coloured map map that I thought was hand-coloured but I believe was either scanned or photo-copied in colour, a money-grubbing form and self-addressed (but not stamped!) envelope, a Threatening Letter, and a set of frequently asked questions.

They should have included a cute little note signed by the team or something else fun. I wonder if there will be refreshments or something. I hope so. I'm feeling entitled.

This is sort of irrelevant because readers fall into one of two categories: recipients of the letter (as STHs) or unaffected persons (who are not STHs and in fact may not even be Bulldog fans), but whatever. I'm on a posting roll here. Maybe I will make it to 40 nonstop days again.

First, the map. I wish I had a scanner. I think the library does. Perhaps I may go there this weekend. Maybe let's save that for another post.

Then, the Threatening Letter. Threatening Letter tells me (in BOLD font, RED font and BOLD RED font) only decision makers are allowed to attend. Perhaps I should bring a team of psychiatrists. I have to send the postcard back, which is small and flimsy, and if I don't send it then I am screwed and they will just tell me another day to come, but they also won't confirm they got it. Marvelous. I cannot wait to drive up to Duluth after taking a vaca day only to be embarrassed as they tell me they didn't receive my postcard. Well, I emailed the ticket office already to see if I can get an exception and be allowed one phone call. Surely if a prisoner is afforded one, I can be too. I also MUST arrive 20 minutes early (which is really, really hard for me to do), be of legal age, and wear a hard hat, long pants, glasses/goggles, and hard-soled shoes. They specifically say no Crocs. I love it. Also, I will be topless.

The Money-Grubbing Form (which is really hard to read because it's printed on top of a collage of photos) tells me that each year, Bulldog fund contributions raise $425,000 for athletic scholarship funds. I wish they did this in a different format. Perhaps there would be a photo of a Bulldog athlete, with their stats and such, and a sob story about how they are very poor and need my money, and then a has-been celebrity could start begging. It doesn't say whether my name will be listed in the program or ask me how I want it to appear. I need to investigate this because I totally want it to say Runnin' with the Dogs.

The FAQ are four pages long. They includes "Will there be an area in the new arena that serves alcohol?" Amazing. I really love tUMD fans AND the DECC/ticket office staff for knowing us so well. You think this would be included in a letter to Rodent STHs? There will be a bar outside the arena which appears to be called the DECC Bar. Creative. I should buy the naming rights. There is no membership fee for it or anything. Also you can buy a membership to the Bulldog Club for $300. It is actually called the Bulldogs Club Members ONLY Lounge, which sounds both 70s and 80s at once. Only 250 people can do this, though. Sucks to be me, I guess. Another question: "Will I have to climb any stairs?" God forbid. It also states that we will have 20 minutes to select seats before they release the hounds, but in the Threatening Letter it says 15 minutes. Odd. The FAQ also notes that the upper bowl is not wheelchair-accessible, yet there is a small section of seats labeled wheelchair accessible in section 227, which would denote an upper bowl seating. Hmm.

Good times. I can't WAIT to see this for myself. Provided the golden postcard arrives.

New Kid

DHG posted on the Penalty Box this morning (and Heisenberg also posted) that tUMD has a new recruit, Kyle Osterberg. Kyle played for Lakeville South, but will now be with the USNTDP. He is a centre, left handed, and Heisenberg has him listed as 5'7, 150. Perhaps his name is actually Kyle Connolly? He will be joining us in 2012.

Anyone have any other information on Mr. Osterberg they would like to share with the class?

Phun with Photoshop

I'm sorry, this isn't very nice, but this picture (from the official arena site) is really hilarious.












I'm not really sorry, though, because if I was sorry I wouldn't be making fun of it.

First of all, that's Al. Were there no photos of Kenny available? He has been in town for a few weeks. Just put the pads on for a few snaps with the camera. I am sure Larry R. would do it. This photo might be fake anyway, because there's no trace of another player. Or a puck. Hm. Plus a jumbotron would never have this kind of a view.

I really wish they could have put UMTC or something instead of Guest, just to make it more realistic. Assuming the Gophers will have a player who can put the puck in the net.

Hey, I know, I have rotten Photoshop skillz too, which is why I can say this. Hey, some of my best friends are terrible Photoshoppers!

Ah well, the real one will look... not like this, I hope. Especially the crazy metal plating on the background of the bottom part. Hmm. But we're going to FINALLY HAVE A JUMBOTRON, which is AWESOME. Now when I miss a goal or exciting play because I am not looking, I can also miss its replay.

Unpopular

This is probably going to be the most controversial opinion I ever put on here, but no one who would find it controversial actually reads RWD. Since there is nothing going on in the NHL this off-season (at least nothing interesting), bloggers are getting the vapors over the inequity between traditional sportswriters and themselves. Because bloggers are SERIOUS JOURNALISTES!!111!!, yo.

But, once more unto the breach, dear friends: 99.9999999% of bloggers do not warrant press credentials.

This is not an issue I've ever broached here before because though I may joke about it sometimes, I do not and never have considered myself a serious journalist or even a journalist at all. I don't even want press credentials. I would be escorted out of the press box after 30 seconds. 15 seconds if we're playing St. Cloud. 5 seconds if I see Kurt Davis.

I am happy to pay for my season tickets. I love sitting in the crowd, dressing in crazy costumes, screaming my larynx out, waving derisive signs, circulating the rink to say hello to my friends.

Granted, I write about hot guys, I make up stories, I do inappropriate things with Photoshop. I'm not your typical blogger. (Well, I'm not your anything.) I don't think there's a whole lot of value I could add to RWD by giving me a press pass. Although imagine the thoroughness of my All-WCHA Hottie team research. I could do crayon rubbings of everyone's abs. It is my understanding that a press pass would allow me to touch a player anywhere above the equator.

Attending a press conference might be fun, I guess, but I'd probably breach some sacred sportswriter etiquette, and I'd also probably sit next to Bruce Ciskie and irritate him by elbowing him to get his attention and then whisper snarky comments while he is trying to listen to Sandy mumble out how he thought it was a good game. I don't write about anything that might be mentioned in a press conference.

But even those who do don't really deserve all-access passes to do their journalistic thing.

First of all, many bloggers do a lot of things that violate copyright laws. I mean, I do; I'm always stealing people's images without giving credit or asking permission. But hey, guess what, bloggers? You can not re-post an entire article, written by someone else, and then toss in a sentence or two of "analysis" and count that as original. You can't do that whether you cite the source or whether you link the source. Professional sportswriters like Kevin Pates or Brad Schlossman can do that because they work for newspapers who subscribe to the Associated Press. You probably do not.

Many bloggers also have terrible grammar. I find that most offensive of all.

Most bloggers are redundant. This is not very nice to say, but it is true, especially at the professional level. Donald from The UAA Fan Blog is not redundant. Moe from Bronco Hockey is not redundant. An acquaintance of mine just retired from blogging the Fargo Force because he felt he was redundant. I am semi-redundant. I have to stop saying redun er, the "r" word. Newspapers have beat writers, teams have official blogs, sports networks have blogs, and then there are the unaffiliated masses. Bloggers who want press passes need to transcend blogging.

(I don't think of myself as a blogger. I think of myself as an armchair sportswriter. Which is worse. What is the opposite of transcend?)

This petulant whining about equal treatment for bloggers stems from the arrogant assumption that bloggers are writing about something that is interesting, thoughtful, and well-written. Most blogs are bad. Even the good ones are not good all the time. Hey, most sportswriters are bad, too, or at least boring. But do we need to subsidize any more boredom? No. Lots of bloggers feel like they are looked down upon by traditional media, as if they have been sold into bondage or something. As if bloggers are taking the high road on that one. But hey, people, be your own copy editor and honestly assess your work. Or I can do it for you. Ask Biddco about my editing skillz. And my brutal honesty.

So what is a blogger going to do once they get their grubby hands on a press pass? Get a credential and then blog when they feel like it/have time/the kids are in bed/work doesn't get in the way? Bloggers are asking for the privileges of beat writers without the pitfalls. Anyone who reads Russo's Rants knows he is a big whiner about the life of a beat writer. Are bloggers prepared to be left behind by the team when the goalie gives them the stomach flu and they are puking in a hotel room? Blogging is a hobby. I repeat: bloggers who want to get press passes need to transcend blogging.

What exactly is a press pass going to do for a blogger? I get to hear every Wild press conference. Where? On the radio, whoa-oh-oh-oh on the radio. What is a blogger going to ask that 1. isn't already asked or 2. isn't going to get them the bum's rush? I'm sorry, I know everyone likes to think they are super creative or super bold, but whatever. Snark doesn't work in the locker room. I mean, some of these guys barely speak English. And that includes some of the Americans and non-Francophone Canadians. And for those folks who are creative, isn't that creativity a product of your lack of access?

Press credentials would take away a lot of what separates blogs from traditional media. In fact, they could be used against us. It would be a way for NHL execs to take back some of the PR control they lost when blogs became widespread. Don't like what a blogger says? Yank their credentials. Blacklist them. Facing players in the locker room might make some folks less willing to be critical or be funny. Accountability could shutter quite a few blogs. Even blogs that aren't particularly controversial, but just never thought they'd have to face the people they critique. And how many bloggers would have the guts to risk their precious, hard-won press passes asking the tough questions they wish they could ask, or call out sportswriters for avoiding?

I don't know. What is the point, anyway? It's somewhat indicative of overall American society; wanting what someone else has. Wanting validation. Wanting to feel like a contributor. Wanting the inside information on the team. Wanting free tickets to the game. A sense of entitlement for all the sacrifices made for the love of blogging. Really, what is next? A ride on the team's chartered plane? Socialists!

I write a blog. I read blogs. I write good posts and bad posts. I read good blogs and bad blogs. I'm guilty of almost everything I'm complaining that others do, except I don't care if I'm considered equal to a beat writer and I'm a grammar freak. I also have a small readership and no designs on making it bigger or making this my career, so there are going to be a lot more people who tell me to STFU. But hey! Maybe this will get me more hits! Angry mobs carrying pitchforks always make for lots of hits! Then I will make monies and get a press pass and own the world!

North Dakota Fans Will Buy Anything

UND fans are bidding on a signed jersey. Signed by... Jonny Toews? No. T.J. Oshie? Nope. Not even Papa Oshie. It is signed by SARAH PALIN.

Good lord. I mean, I'm a conservative and all, but THIS JERSEY IS NOT EVEN GAME-WORN OR EVER WORN BY A PLAYER AT ANY TIME EVER AND SARAH PALIN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH UND HOCKEY, THE STATE OF NORTH DAKOTA, OR REALLY ANYTHING AT ALL WORTH PAYING FOR.

The article states the jersey is currently at $3759. Never have I ever wanted to swear so much on this site.

Note to former UND players who are not NHL millionaires: if you need money, just skate in a drop-in beer league hockey game, slap a Sioux logo on the jockstrap you wore, and put it on E-bay. You're bound to net at least 10 grand.

*Like*

Did you know you can "friend" AMSoil arena on Facebook? You should do it. I'm not sure what it has to say, but it is single, so if you know of any other arenas looking for a date, you could maybe pass along a phone number or arrange to all meet somewhere.

**EDIT**
Ok, I guess you can't anymore, the FB page was deleted. How sad.

Notes

Couple quick new notes:

1. This is temporary so it's not going in the sidebar, but here's a blog about National Lampoon's Michigan Tech's European vacation.

2. This is not temporary (well, I can't guarantee that, as a lot of blogs are...), so it IS going in the sidebar: Beaver Hockey Hub. Let's just pretend there's only a single entendre. Warning, there's horrible music playing on the site, but you can just pause it. Nickelback sucks! Nickelback sucks!

Vote Early and Vote Often

Fun stuff! Back without any demand: polls!

New in Town

Yet another blogger has decided to attempt to blog about St. Cloud State; Husky Hockey Time started, like, an hour ago. Since I'm on the pulse of all things Interwebby, I'm already letting you know about it.

I hope he doesn't expect me to say anything nice about St. Cloud. I also hope he doesn't burn out right away, ahem, Shortbus...

Plus One

Another post! Yes!

I learned via Arrows19 on tPB that tUMD has added a third goalie for the season. He posted a link to that hard-hitting bastion of journalism, the Forest Lake Times.

Christian Gaffy rarely let anything by him during his impressive senior hockey campaign for Forest Lake this winter. So it’s no surprise that he has snatched a big opportunity out of thin air.

Gaffy was in the process of trying out for junior hockey teams when Division I University of Minnesota-Duluth recently came calling. Having already been accepted at the school in case hockey did not work out, Gaffy was quick to accept the Bulldogs’ offer.

He will be red-shirting this year as he adjusts to the college game. Welcome, Christian!

A Serious Post

I am rarely serious here on RWD, but right now I've got to be.

I just learned (and I mean FIVE MINUTES AGO) tUMD equipment manager Chris Garner has been battling a disease called Myelodysplatic Syndrome. If you are not Dr. House (and none of us are), it is a blood/bone marrow disease. According to the National Cancer Insititute,

Myelodysplastic syndromes are diseases of the bloodbone marrow. Normally, the bone marrow makes blood stem cells (immature cells) that develop into mature blood cells over time. A blood stem cell may become a myeloid stem cell or a lymphoid stem cell. The lymphoid stem cell develops into a white blood cell. The myeloid stem cell develops into one of three types of mature blood cells: Red blood cells that carry oxygen and other materials to all tissues of the body; white blood cells that fight infection and disease; and platelets that help prevent bleeding by causing blood clots to form.
In myelodysplastic syndromes, the blood stem cells do not mature into healthy red blood cells, white blood cells, or platelets. The immature blood cells, called blasts, do not function normally and either die in the bone marrow or soon after they enter the blood. This leaves less room for healthy white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets to develop in the bone marrow. When there are fewer blood cells, infection, anemia, or easy bleeding may occur.

There is a Facebook page set up for more information, but if you're not on the Facebook or the link doesn't work or something, I'm going to re-post some of the information here, written by friends of his. Please check the Facebook page for contact information; I'm not posting someone's phone number or address here on RWD.

Chris was diagnosed with [MDS] earlier this year and is currently awaiting a potentially life-saving bone marrow transplant. If Chris does not receive a bone marrow transplant, the risk of his current bone marrow transitioning into AML (Acute Myelogenous Leukemia) would be extremely high. His medical team feels the transplant is needed and can possibly prolong his life.

A donor match for Chris was found in June of 2010. Chris will begin the transplant process at the Mayo Clinic in early August of 2010. Before the actual bone marrow transplant, Chris will undergo large doses of chemotherapy to destroy the abnormal cells currently in his bone marrow. The prognosis for Chris is unknown. Every patient responds differently to a transplant. We hope and pray for a perfect case scenario in which Chris's body will respond perfectly to the treatment and transplant.

When Chris recovers from the treatment he will then work his way back to the hockey arena where he is an equipment manager for the University of Minnesota Duluth Bulldog Men's Hockey Team. Chris has had a lifelong love of the sport of hockey. He has been around the game, both playing and working, all his life. He has been an equipment manager at the professional and college level for over 13 years. This disease is prohibiting Chris from working and being around the game because of the treatment and his low immune system (caused by MDS) which cannot fight the germs and bacteria that are common in the hockey arena.

The bone marrow transplant is a very expensive procedure. Chris was told he will bare some of the medical costs associated with the procedure along with the additional costs of relocating to Rochester, MN for the treatment until he gets the okay to begin work and move back home to Duluth, MN.

Your help and support is greatly needed. Costs for this procedure are extremely high and not completely covered by insurance. In an effort to alleviate Chris’ expenses, we are hosting an online auction and are asking for either a cash donation or a donated item to be auctioned. We are in the process of collecting donations and anticipate the online auction in early fall of 2010.

All proceeds will be used to help defray medical and living expenses while Chris receives treatment at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. Please note that donations are not tax-deductible.

Chris has kept skates sharp and sticks taped for the Dogs (and this is an oversimplification of all that he does for the team), and he also got us lucky folks the opportunity to buy the bee jerseys last February. I'll keep you folks updated on news about the auction (dates, items, etc), and if you are inclined to make a donation of money or auctionable items, check out the Facebook page for contact information. It seems as though Chris will be missing at least part of the season while he is recovering.

Chris, I wish you the best of treatment and the fastest of recoveries!

Design Star

Right now I'm reading Chronicles by Bob Dylan, and an idea for a new banner slammed into my head. Never mind that it's 2:00 in the morning.

Photo credits: left side, News Tribune Attic/Duluth News Tribune; right side, DECC Facebook site.

Blurb

So the best part about the Wild's development camp?

Being quoted in a feature article for Wild.com. (Sorry Uncle Les, I can't make the gold text any darker, I've tried!)

Many fans were talking about the college free agents, including quite a few University of Minnesota-Duluth fans, like Donna Carpenter of St. Paul, who says that the Wild "should sign Justin Fontaine, but NOT until after April,” she demanded, insinuating that she predicts a Bulldog appearance at Xcel Energy Center in April. “Make sure they understand that. After April!"

(Just ignore the part about me living in St. Paul, because I don't.) I'm so bossy!!!!!! Even though that's not a direct quotation. I think I said "In April" about 100 times. I don't want to jinx anything. I also mentioned the drafting of Son of Mikko, but they used "Mini-Mikko" instead.

The World's Worst Interview

Well, it wouldn't be an off-season if I wasn't interviewing Bruce Ciskie about a new job. Let's hope this is the last of its kind for a long time.

Superior, WI, native Bruce Ciskie has been hired as Sports Director at Duluth’s Red Rock Radio stations beginning August 3, 2010. The current voice of University of Minnesota/Duluth men’s hockey accepted the position on Friday.

Ciskie was chosen out of more than 50 applicants from around the country and will manage and host a daily hour-long noon show on the radio group’s all-sports station, The Fan 1490 AM (KQDS-AM). He will also join the KQDS (94.9 FM) Morning Show with Jason Manning and Frank Befera as the sports personality.

Red Rock Radio Operations Manager Tom Roubik says Ciskie was an ideal candidate for the job. “Bruce has already hosted two sports call-in shows in the Twin Ports and, in our opinion, is one of the brightest hockey play-by-play broadcasters in the country. We are very pleased he accepted the offer.”

Ciskie says he is looking forward to the challenge. “"I am very excited to be making a full-time return to the airwaves after almost two years. Hopefully, we can continue to keep sports fans entertained and informed every day. Bulldog hockey will be a treat this winter, thanks to what should be a very good team and (with) the much-anticipated opening of Amsoil Arena!"

Ciskie is a lifelong Twin Ports resident. He will continue to do play-by-play for UMD men’s hockey in 2010-11. Red Rock Radio announced last week that those broadcasts will be moving from The Fan to 94X (KZIO-FM 94.1 FM in Duluth and 104.3 outside the Twin Ports). The move will significantly increase the listening area of the games.

Ciskie also works as a part-time writer and editor for AOL’s Fanhouse.com

Red Rock Radio operates eight radio stations in Northern Minnesota including KQDS-FM, KQDS-AM, KZIO, WWAX (92.1 FM in Duluth), KBAJ (105.5 FM Grand Rapids), KFGI (101.5 FM Brainerd), WXXZ (95.3 FM in Grand Marais), and KAOD (106.7 FM in Babbitt).

And OF COURSE, here I am with the story, hot off the presses! It's an EXCLUSIVE!

RWD: So this job is something you had done previously for other, nameless radio conglomerates, no?

Bruce Ciskie: Possibly, yes. I will not deny that. [Is this a matter of national security or something?]

RWD: In addition to bossing people around and telling them what to say, what will you be doing on your show and the morning show?

BC: Morning show: Jason and Frank [whoever they are] are the stars. I'm simply there a couple times an hour to give some scores, tell a bad joke or two, and have some fun. The afternoon show will be a talk show. We'll round up some guests [me], talk local and regional sports (primarily), tell more bad jokes, take calls, emails, and (yes) tweets, and have fun talking sports.

RWD: Will you be using your talk show to do the Coaches' Lunch show?

BC: That's not known at this time. I hope so. We'll certainly have regular visits with the UMD coaches, whether there is a formal show or not.

RWD: So the broadcasts from the lunches might not occur? [Apparently all I care about is food. Duh.]

BC: I don't know, honestly. I didn't bring it up in our talks, but I'm sure we'll be doing something.

RWD: But the lunches themselves are not jeopardized? [I'm obsessed. Or unprepared for the interview.]

BC: The lunches were put on by UMD. The radio show was done there via a separate agreement, as far as I know.

RWD: Aha.

BC: So I don't know what the plan is for the lunches or the radio show. Sorry. I'll probably know more after I get started.

RWD: Although if you do the radio show at the lunches… you might like, force me to ask a question. [Long-time RWD readers {aka no one} know how I am always chickening out on these things... although I participated in the Bordo interview!]

BC: I'd need to use a lot of force. You're pretty shy. [Yes.]

RWD: You know I always chicken out!! [See, I told you.]

BC: I do.

RWD: Although last year I humiliated myself anyway.

BC: Well, it was a cool sweatshirt.

RWD: Er, yes. What percentage of your new show's airtime will be devoted to non-sports activities, such as NASCAR?

BC: Stop it. [This has been going on all day, FYI.]

RWD: Dammit. I'm leaving that in.

BC: No one will get the joke. You need to provide context. [Uh, you don't need context to know NASCAR sucks. Hi Goon!]

RWD: No one reads the site!!!

BC: [Someone] does. Hi, [Someone]!

RWD: Anyway. How did Red Rocks feel about its first year broadcasting tUMD sports?

BC: It's Red Rock [I'm illiterate], if you want [Someone] to know exactly what you're talking about.

RWD: Oh. Not like the outdoor concert venue. [I am an idiot.]

BC: Just so you know. Anyway, they were happy. Listener feedback was good [I wasn't consulted!], and obviously the company listened to the one major complaint that I heard all year, which was the range of 1490 at night.

RWD: Yeah at night. The time when hockey games occur. [Well thought-out.]

BC: Right. Except the Mercyhurst game. That was in the afternoon. And weird.

RWD: But we won!

BC: We don't have that this year, though. So it's good to get these games on FM.

RWD: NO day games?

BC: None, unless we get in the Friday afternoon semifinal at the Final Five, or afternoon NCAA games.

RWD: hm yes. [Dirty knows this is what I say when I’m not paying attention or interested.]

BC: (or the Thursday afternoon play-in game. Forgot about the new format.)

RWD: Right. So tell listeners where they will be able to hear Bulldog hockey next season. [I hadn't decided to include the press release at this point in the interview. I planned well.]

BC: 94.1 FM in the Twin Ports. 104.3 FM outside of the Twin Ports (as far south as Moose Lake, I believe, so good range). KQ 105.5 (Grand Rapids) and KQ 106.7 (Babbitt) will still carry the games, so most of northeastern Minnesota will be well-served.

RWD: And the internets will be streaming? Gallantly?

BC: Yes. www.94xrocks.com or www.umdbulldogs.com.

RWD: Ok, we're covered. Whew. What does this position mean for Bulldog hockey?

BC: Huh?

RWD: [What is this, your first rodeo?] What does you having this new position mean for Bulldog hockey? I will give you some examples to assist. "It will mean more coverage of Bulldog sports!" "It will mean more promotion of Bulldog sports!"

BC: OK. I get your drift now. I think.

RWD: "It will mean the end of life as we know it."

BC: I hope I'm able to pick up the ball from last year. I think [Mark] Fleisch[er] did a great job covering UMD sports and promoting their events. I'm not making any promises for more coverage or anything, but I'd like think I'll do a decent job. It also means you're stuck with me for another hockey season.

RWD: It's just men's hockey and football, right?

BC: The Fan 1490 will do football [sucks to be them], and 94X will cover men's hockey.

RWD: Any planned changes to the hockey broadcast?

BC: Nothing yet. I hope they'll let me continue with the longer pregame show, and I like the way we were able to do some timely and sometimes even newsworthy intermission chats last year [intermission chats that had nothing to do with who played goalie for Edina in 1965, thank you Rik Jordan!].

RWD: Or amazingly witty and urbane ones, like a certain Saturday Mankato intermission... [this sentence was a grammar train wreck at first. But we all know to which one I am referring!!!] I'll edit that later.

BC: lol

RWD: Will our favorite Taco Bell lover be back behind the mic with you? [Must I explain who I mean? It's not hard to figure out.]

BC: That's undetermined. And he does love his Taco Bell.

RWD: Seems like the best meal to eat to stay in shape. [A nutritional role model!]

BC: Well, it works for him. The only shape I'm in is "round," so I can't criticize.

RWD: I suggested his wife make her own workout, Chicks Created By Christyn.

BC: That's awesome.

RWD: Since he doesn't read RWD I doubt he knows that. [No one does!!!]

BC: I'll relay the message.

RWD: What are your off-season questions, concerns or hopes? We have so much time to think about what was and what will be.

BC: Wait, we're going to talk about the hockey team now?

RWD: That [other stuff] was team-related. Are there more things about this job you need to discuss?

BC: Questions: Can they play better and more consistent [sic] in their own zone? Will Kenny Reiter be THE MAN? How many freaking points will Jack, Mike, and Justin combine for?

RWD: Mike Seidel, of course.

BC: Concerns: I want the power play to be more consistent. I want the young guys to get better, not get discouraged if they go a few games without cracking the lineup. I want the competition for playing time in practice to make everyone better. I'm concerned that the hangover from JUST MISSING the NCAAs will be an issue.

RWD: Can't be worse than the hangover 9 Notre Dame players have...

BC: Hopes: Well, let's get a Hobey campaign going for No. 37. [Yes] And No. 12. [Next year! Back to back again!] I hope this team is playing into April, because they have the experience, talent, and smarts to make it there.

RWD: We're kind of the Anti-Wisconsin. They've lost so many, and we've kept many that we thought we might lose.

BC: Yeah, because people actually want to stay around and play for us.

RWD: Imagine that.

BC: I'm really looking forward to the season ... awfully excited about the potential of this team.

RWD: We have a new coach, too. What do you think Derek is going to bring?

BC: Smarts. I think he'll work well with the players and fit in well with the staff. Haven't talked to him yet, but will do so soon, I would imagine.

RWD: He's a former NHL player.

BC: Really? Gosh, I didn't know that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuC1MTwjZeM

RWD: [Ok, Bruce, that was not my point.] I think Lance Pitlick is in that.

BC: Possible [sic].

RWD: That was awhile ago though. [Here's my point!] The NHL is so different now.

BC: Right, but the object [sic] is still the same.

RWD: So you think NHL experience is NHL experience, no matter how long ago it was? [I don't know why I get this idea Derek is like 100 years old. But, let's just go with it.]

BC: Within reason, yes. It's not like Derek played 30 years ago or something. [Or 70?] No offense to people who played 30 years ago. [None taken.]

RWD: They don't read RWD!

BC: According to you, no one does.

RWD: No one does! All the hits I get are for this one post that I wrote about Oberg's broken leg! [Seriously. I could do a damn screen shot of my stats.]

BC: Let me turn the tables. [Hey dj keep playin' that song] How much are you looking forward to that Halloween weekend roadie to your favorite new WCHA city?

RWD: Oh, are we playing UNO on Halloween? I can't wait to go to Omaha. I know that's weird, but my best friend from college just moved there. Plus I can see Seth Ambroz!

BC: Ugh. The other one. [the Unspeakable] We don't go to Omaha this year. Silly.

RWD: Sigh.

BC: On that note, though, next year should be fun for road trips. Omaha and Providence, among others. Are you going to the Superior Showcase?

RWD: No. Stupid MeanEgirl doesn't want to go. [I love youuuuuuu MEg!!]

BC: The worst part about that is going from Sault Ste. Marie to Marquette after Friday's game.

RWD: The worst part is going to the Yoop.

BC: Well, I don't mind the Yoop in early October.

RWD: Maybe I *should* go.

BC: It's kind of a nice drive. Long, but nice. Really, really long. [Er... yes. Hehehe.]

RWD: Did you watch that Stalock video?

BC: Stalock video. [Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh]

RWD: ON MY [FORNICATING] SITE.

BC: No. Probably not.

RWD: [SAVIOR]

BC: Settle down. [There really are no words for my facial expression.] I did see your line charts, if that's any consolation. [Because I forced him to look at them.] Well done.

RWD: I didn't make any changes!

BC: I know. That was smart.

RWD: So I read ON YOUR BLOG RECENTLY [HOLY MOTHER WHAT A CONCEPT] that you think Mike Seidel is going to have a breakout year.

BC: I do. But I've said that numerous times before. Said it once to MacGregor Sharp, and he responded with a seven-goal season. So I'd bet Seidel has his breakout as a junior.

RWD: Hey, he still led the team in points!

BC: If that ever happens again, I'm hanging up the headset. [If that ever happens again, I'm hanging myself.]

RWD: Well, I said he'd have a breakout year, too. And I'm right. I said it about Fonz after his freshman year. I made MEg draft him in fantasy hockey.

BC: Good move.

RWD: She was like "Ok whatever." She had Stalock and Fontaine. If Bozak hadn't gotten hurt and she had remembered to start her lineups, she would have won the league. [I am a great fantasy hockey mind.]

BC: Wow. Bozak.

RWD: Blast from the past!

BC: Anyway, I gotta go.

RWD: Oh [consarn it]. [There are not enough hours left in the future of the universe to fix this interview, but I was going to try.]

BC: So wrap this shiz up. [Word.]

RWD: This is the worst interview ever.

BC: No. The old one was much worse.

RWD: Which one?

BC: The first one you did.

RWD: That one was great!

BC: When you asked me about seeing guys in the shower. Sucked. [I fail to see the problem. Do you know how many people come to this site looking for shirtless people?]

RWD: It sucked that you didn't have an answer.

BC: [WifeofBruce] and [SonofBruce] are [chagrined] you didn't ask them anything.

RWD: Did they get new jobs? [I really am the meanest person alive.]

BC: [SonofBruce] did. He helped me mow the lawn last week. I hired him.

RWD: Ask [SonofBruce] who he thinks is going to score the first goal of the year?

BC: [SonofBruce] says "Chad Huttel."

RWD: [Momentarily speechless] Did he really? Er. DHG once said Otten would score the first goal of the season. AND HE DID.

BC: That's funny. I'm taking Dylan Olsen. [I am so winning this non-bet.]

RWD: Okay. Who is [WifeofBruce] taking? [I'M GOING TO BLOW YOU ALL AWAY WITH MY SURPRISE PICK!] I'm taking My Jacky. [The Aaaahj said Fontaine.]

BC: [WifeofBruce] says MCon.

RWD: Who is going to take the first penalty?

BC: [WifeofBruce]: Dylan Olsen [SonofBruce]: Dylan Olsen.

RWD: Right after that goal.

BC: me: Jack Connolly.

RWD: HAHAH probably! Me: Um... Lamber. [Aaaahj says Huttel.]

BC: Good one. Any more real questions? [A real question was asked at any point?]

RWD: How about we wrap it up with one more prediction? WCHA finish and the final game we play?

BC: [WifeofBruce] says we finish 3rd, lose in the regional semis. I say 2nd place finish, regional final.

RWD: Does [SonofBruce] have an answer?

BC: No. He's playing with the [stupid Steve Jobs brainwashing machine]. I'm sure he thinks we will win it all.

RWD: With Huttel leading the charge. I’m going to say we win the WCHA, and I think we will lose in the frozen 4 semis. [Aaaaaaahj says 3rd, losing in regional championship.]

I'm going to regret doing this, because every time I ask for reader participation, freaking tumbleweeds blow through this site, but do any readers out there want to make their own predictions for 1. the first goal 2. the first penalty and 3/4. tUMD's WCHA finish and the final game they play?