19 July 2010

The World's Worst Interview

Well, it wouldn't be an off-season if I wasn't interviewing Bruce Ciskie about a new job. Let's hope this is the last of its kind for a long time.
Superior, WI, native Bruce Ciskie has been hired as Sports Director at Duluth’s Red Rock Radio stations beginning August 3, 2010. The current voice of University of Minnesota/Duluth men’s hockey accepted the position on Friday.

Ciskie was chosen out of more than 50 applicants from around the country and will manage and host a daily hour-long noon show on the radio group’s all-sports station, The Fan 1490 AM (KQDS-AM). He will also join the KQDS (94.9 FM) Morning Show with Jason Manning and Frank Befera as the sports personality.

Red Rock Radio Operations Manager Tom Roubik says Ciskie was an ideal candidate for the job. “Bruce has already hosted two sports call-in shows in the Twin Ports and, in our opinion, is one of the brightest hockey play-by-play broadcasters in the country. We are very pleased he accepted the offer.”

Ciskie says he is looking forward to the challenge. “"I am very excited to be making a full-time return to the airwaves after almost two years. Hopefully, we can continue to keep sports fans entertained and informed every day. Bulldog hockey will be a treat this winter, thanks to what should be a very good team and (with) the much-anticipated opening of Amsoil Arena!"

Ciskie is a lifelong Twin Ports resident. He will continue to do play-by-play for UMD men’s hockey in 2010-11. Red Rock Radio announced last week that those broadcasts will be moving from The Fan to 94X (KZIO-FM 94.1 FM in Duluth and 104.3 outside the Twin Ports). The move will significantly increase the listening area of the games.

Ciskie also works as a part-time writer and editor for AOL’s Fanhouse.com

Red Rock Radio operates eight radio stations in Northern Minnesota including KQDS-FM, KQDS-AM, KZIO, WWAX (92.1 FM in Duluth), KBAJ (105.5 FM Grand Rapids), KFGI (101.5 FM Brainerd), WXXZ (95.3 FM in Grand Marais), and KAOD (106.7 FM in Babbitt).
And OF COURSE, here I am with the story, hot off the presses! It's an EXCLUSIVE!

RWD: So this job is something you had done previously for other, nameless radio conglomerates, no?

Bruce Ciskie: Possibly, yes. I will not deny that. [Is this a matter of national security or something?]

RWD: In addition to bossing people around and telling them what to say, what will you be doing on your show and the morning show?

BC: Morning show: Jason and Frank [whoever they are] are the stars. I'm simply there a couple times an hour to give some scores, tell a bad joke or two, and have some fun. The afternoon show will be a talk show. We'll round up some guests [me], talk local and regional sports (primarily), tell more bad jokes, take calls, emails, and (yes) tweets, and have fun talking sports.

RWD: Will you be using your talk show to do the Coaches' Lunch show?

BC: That's not known at this time. I hope so. We'll certainly have regular visits with the UMD coaches, whether there is a formal show or not.

RWD: So the broadcasts from the lunches might not occur? [Apparently all I care about is food. Duh.]

BC: I don't know, honestly. I didn't bring it up in our talks, but I'm sure we'll be doing something.

RWD: But the lunches themselves are not jeopardized? [I'm obsessed. Or unprepared for the interview.]

BC: The lunches were put on by UMD. The radio show was done there via a separate agreement, as far as I know.

RWD: Aha.

BC: So I don't know what the plan is for the lunches or the radio show. Sorry. I'll probably know more after I get started.

RWD: Although if you do the radio show at the lunches… you might like, force me to ask a question. [Long-time RWD readers {aka no one} know how I am always chickening out on these things... although I participated in the Bordo interview!]

BC: I'd need to use a lot of force. You're pretty shy. [Yes.]

RWD: You know I always chicken out!! [See, I told you.]

BC: I do.

RWD: Although last year I humiliated myself anyway.

BC: Well, it was a cool sweatshirt.

RWD: Er, yes. What percentage of your new show's airtime will be devoted to non-sports activities, such as NASCAR?

BC: Stop it. [This has been going on all day, FYI.]

RWD: Dammit. I'm leaving that in.

BC: No one will get the joke. You need to provide context. [Uh, you don't need context to know NASCAR sucks. Hi Goon!]

RWD: No one reads the site!!!

BC: [Someone] does. Hi, [Someone]!

RWD: Anyway. How did Red Rocks feel about its first year broadcasting tUMD sports?

BC: It's Red Rock [I'm illiterate], if you want [Someone] to know exactly what you're talking about.

RWD: Oh. Not like the outdoor concert venue. [I am an idiot.]

BC: Just so you know. Anyway, they were happy. Listener feedback was good [I wasn't consulted!], and obviously the company listened to the one major complaint that I heard all year, which was the range of 1490 at night.

RWD: Yeah at night. The time when hockey games occur. [Well thought-out.]

BC: Right. Except the Mercyhurst game. That was in the afternoon. And weird.

RWD: But we won!

BC: We don't have that this year, though. So it's good to get these games on FM.

RWD: NO day games?

BC: None, unless we get in the Friday afternoon semifinal at the Final Five, or afternoon NCAA games.

RWD: hm yes. [Dirty knows this is what I say when I’m not paying attention or interested.]

BC: (or the Thursday afternoon play-in game. Forgot about the new format.)

RWD: Right. So tell listeners where they will be able to hear Bulldog hockey next season. [I hadn't decided to include the press release at this point in the interview. I planned well.]

BC: 94.1 FM in the Twin Ports. 104.3 FM outside of the Twin Ports (as far south as Moose Lake, I believe, so good range). KQ 105.5 (Grand Rapids) and KQ 106.7 (Babbitt) will still carry the games, so most of northeastern Minnesota will be well-served.

RWD: And the internets will be streaming? Gallantly?

BC: Yes. www.94xrocks.com or www.umdbulldogs.com.

RWD: Ok, we're covered. Whew. What does this position mean for Bulldog hockey?

BC: Huh?

RWD: [What is this, your first rodeo?] What does you having this new position mean for Bulldog hockey? I will give you some examples to assist. "It will mean more coverage of Bulldog sports!" "It will mean more promotion of Bulldog sports!"

BC: OK. I get your drift now. I think.

RWD: "It will mean the end of life as we know it."

BC: I hope I'm able to pick up the ball from last year. I think [Mark] Fleisch[er] did a great job covering UMD sports and promoting their events. I'm not making any promises for more coverage or anything, but I'd like think I'll do a decent job. It also means you're stuck with me for another hockey season.

RWD: It's just men's hockey and football, right?

BC: The Fan 1490 will do football [sucks to be them], and 94X will cover men's hockey.

RWD: Any planned changes to the hockey broadcast?

BC: Nothing yet. I hope they'll let me continue with the longer pregame show, and I like the way we were able to do some timely and sometimes even newsworthy intermission chats last year [intermission chats that had nothing to do with who played goalie for Edina in 1965, thank you Rik Jordan!].

RWD: Or amazingly witty and urbane ones, like a certain Saturday Mankato intermission... [this sentence was a grammar train wreck at first. But we all know to which one I am referring!!!] I'll edit that later.

BC: lol

RWD: Will our favorite Taco Bell lover be back behind the mic with you? [Must I explain who I mean? It's not hard to figure out.]

BC: That's undetermined. And he does love his Taco Bell.

RWD: Seems like the best meal to eat to stay in shape. [A nutritional role model!]

BC: Well, it works for him. The only shape I'm in is "round," so I can't criticize.

RWD: I suggested his wife make her own workout, Chicks Created By Christyn.

BC: That's awesome.

RWD: Since he doesn't read RWD I doubt he knows that. [No one does!!!]

BC: I'll relay the message.

RWD: What are your off-season questions, concerns or hopes? We have so much time to think about what was and what will be.

BC: Wait, we're going to talk about the hockey team now?

RWD: That [other stuff] was team-related. Are there more things about this job you need to discuss?

BC: Questions: Can they play better and more consistent [sic] in their own zone? Will Kenny Reiter be THE MAN? How many freaking points will Jack, Mike, and Justin combine for?

RWD: Mike Seidel, of course.

BC: Concerns: I want the power play to be more consistent. I want the young guys to get better, not get discouraged if they go a few games without cracking the lineup. I want the competition for playing time in practice to make everyone better. I'm concerned that the hangover from JUST MISSING the NCAAs will be an issue.

RWD: Can't be worse than the hangover 9 Notre Dame players have...

BC: Hopes: Well, let's get a Hobey campaign going for No. 37. [Yes] And No. 12. [Next year! Back to back again!] I hope this team is playing into April, because they have the experience, talent, and smarts to make it there.

RWD: We're kind of the Anti-Wisconsin. They've lost so many, and we've kept many that we thought we might lose.

BC: Yeah, because people actually want to stay around and play for us.

RWD: Imagine that.

BC: I'm really looking forward to the season ... awfully excited about the potential of this team.

RWD: We have a new coach, too. What do you think Derek is going to bring?

BC: Smarts. I think he'll work well with the players and fit in well with the staff. Haven't talked to him yet, but will do so soon, I would imagine.

RWD: He's a former NHL player.

BC: Really? Gosh, I didn't know that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuC1MTwjZeM

RWD: [Ok, Bruce, that was not my point.] I think Lance Pitlick is in that.

BC: Possible [sic].

RWD: That was awhile ago though. [Here's my point!] The NHL is so different now.

BC: Right, but the object [sic] is still the same.

RWD: So you think NHL experience is NHL experience, no matter how long ago it was? [I don't know why I get this idea Derek is like 100 years old. But, let's just go with it.]

BC: Within reason, yes. It's not like Derek played 30 years ago or something. [Or 70?] No offense to people who played 30 years ago. [None taken.]

RWD: They don't read RWD!

BC: According to you, no one does.

RWD: No one does! All the hits I get are for this one post that I wrote about Oberg's broken leg! [Seriously. I could do a damn screen shot of my stats.]

BC: Let me turn the tables. [Hey dj keep playin' that song] How much are you looking forward to that Halloween weekend roadie to your favorite new WCHA city?

RWD: Oh, are we playing UNO on Halloween? I can't wait to go to Omaha. I know that's weird, but my best friend from college just moved there. Plus I can see Seth Ambroz!

BC: Ugh. The other one. [the Unspeakable] We don't go to Omaha this year. Silly.

RWD: Sigh.

BC: On that note, though, next year should be fun for road trips. Omaha and Providence, among others. Are you going to the Superior Showcase?

RWD: No. Stupid MeanEgirl doesn't want to go. [I love youuuuuuu MEg!!]

BC: The worst part about that is going from Sault Ste. Marie to Marquette after Friday's game.

RWD: The worst part is going to the Yoop.

BC: Well, I don't mind the Yoop in early October.

RWD: Maybe I *should* go.

BC: It's kind of a nice drive. Long, but nice. Really, really long. [Er... yes. Hehehe.]

RWD: Did you watch that Stalock video?

BC: Stalock video. [Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh]

RWD: ON MY [FORNICATING] SITE.

BC: No. Probably not.

RWD: [SAVIOR]

BC: Settle down. [There really are no words for my facial expression.] I did see your line charts, if that's any consolation. [Because I forced him to look at them.] Well done.

RWD: I didn't make any changes!

BC: I know. That was smart.

RWD: So I read ON YOUR BLOG RECENTLY [HOLY MOTHER WHAT A CONCEPT] that you think Mike Seidel is going to have a breakout year.

BC: I do. But I've said that numerous times before. Said it once to MacGregor Sharp, and he responded with a seven-goal season. So I'd bet Seidel has his breakout as a junior.

RWD: Hey, he still led the team in points!

BC: If that ever happens again, I'm hanging up the headset. [If that ever happens again, I'm hanging myself.]

RWD: Well, I said he'd have a breakout year, too. And I'm right. I said it about Fonz after his freshman year. I made MEg draft him in fantasy hockey.

BC: Good move.

RWD: She was like "Ok whatever." She had Stalock and Fontaine. If Bozak hadn't gotten hurt and she had remembered to start her lineups, she would have won the league. [I am a great fantasy hockey mind.]

BC: Wow. Bozak.

RWD: Blast from the past!

BC: Anyway, I gotta go.

RWD: Oh [consarn it]. [There are not enough hours left in the future of the universe to fix this interview, but I was going to try.]

BC: So wrap this shiz up. [Word.]

RWD: This is the worst interview ever.

BC: No. The old one was much worse.

RWD: Which one?

BC: The first one you did.

RWD: That one was great!

BC: When you asked me about seeing guys in the shower. Sucked. [I fail to see the problem. Do you know how many people come to this site looking for shirtless people?]

RWD: It sucked that you didn't have an answer.

BC: [WifeofBruce] and [SonofBruce] are [chagrined] you didn't ask them anything.

RWD: Did they get new jobs? [I really am the meanest person alive.]

BC: [SonofBruce] did. He helped me mow the lawn last week. I hired him.

RWD: Ask [SonofBruce] who he thinks is going to score the first goal of the year?

BC: [SonofBruce] says "Chad Huttel."

RWD: [Momentarily speechless] Did he really? Er. DHG once said Otten would score the first goal of the season. AND HE DID.

BC: That's funny. I'm taking Dylan Olsen. [I am so winning this non-bet.]

RWD: Okay. Who is [WifeofBruce] taking? [I'M GOING TO BLOW YOU ALL AWAY WITH MY SURPRISE PICK!] I'm taking My Jacky. [The Aaaahj said Fontaine.]

BC: [WifeofBruce] says MCon.

RWD: Who is going to take the first penalty?

BC: [WifeofBruce]: Dylan Olsen [SonofBruce]: Dylan Olsen.

RWD: Right after that goal.

BC: me: Jack Connolly.

RWD: HAHAH probably! Me: Um... Lamber. [Aaaahj says Huttel.]

BC: Good one. Any more real questions? [A real question was asked at any point?]

RWD: How about we wrap it up with one more prediction? WCHA finish and the final game we play?

BC: [WifeofBruce] says we finish 3rd, lose in the regional semis. I say 2nd place finish, regional final.

RWD: Does [SonofBruce] have an answer?

BC: No. He's playing with the [stupid Steve Jobs brainwashing machine]. I'm sure he thinks we will win it all.

RWD: With Huttel leading the charge. I’m going to say we win the WCHA, and I think we will lose in the frozen 4 semis. [Aaaaaaahj says 3rd, losing in regional championship.]

I'm going to regret doing this, because every time I ask for reader participation, freaking tumbleweeds blow through this site, but do any readers out there want to make their own predictions for 1. the first goal 2. the first penalty and 3/4. tUMD's WCHA finish and the final game they play?

5 comments:

Dirty said...

Hm.

Roy said...

Not exactly Frost/Nixon, but an enjoyable read!

Goon said...

Hey RWD,
Nice NASCAR reference. Just for your info NASCAR is the number one spectator sport in the USA. Yep it's true.

Also, contrary to some, you have to be a good Athlete to drive a NASCAR ride. :) So yes race drivers are athletes.

Runninwiththedogs said...

Every time I drive to Duluth, I'm an athlete!

Goon said...

Depends what you're driving, I can't imagine your driving a NASCAR Cup car or Sprint Car up to Duluth. :)