30 September 2009

America, Jr.

So, I enjoy making fun of the Canadian university hockey teams, but really, I love Canada. J'aime le Canada! Canada has given me MacGregor Sharp and Evan Schwabe, two of my favorite Guys EVER!! And also Fonzie, and Junior Lessard, and Jamie Russell. Mmmm....

Anyway, Canada also has lots of amazing stuff. Their national anthem is AWESOME. According to Mike it is also the UMD fight song.

Other things about Canada that are awesome:

Childrens programmes:

Junior hockey:

Dapper sportscasters:

Heavy metal gods:

Totally awesome donuts!!!!:

Marty McFly (yes I realize this video is mostly Doc-related but Doc is amazing and also this is freaking funny):

Ice Road Truckers:


29 September 2009

Goal Oriented

Before we begin, as a public service announcement, please people. Never use the non-word "orientated." EVER.

A few times when I was in school my teachers would have me write down my goals for the year at the start of the semester. When I was in elementary school it was suck up things like "Get everything right on my tests." I succeeded. In junior high they were more sarcastic like "Don't be stupid" or "get a boyfriend." Again, success. In high school when I took the PSATs I wrote on my answer booklet (which I would get back after I got the results of my test a few months later) "If you don't get National Merit honors, you might as well kill yourself." And I'm alive, so, again, success!

I'm good at setting goals, as you can see. So, AS ALWAYS, I'm here to help tUMD players set some achievable goals for the season! Let's go!

Drew Akins
Take only good penalties. I know you can't resist, but please, either 1. prevent goals or 2. emasculate opponents when you take penalties. Make them useful!

Chase Ryan
Play in some games! Maybe just a couple. I would totally cheer so hard for you. Biddco would be overcome with glee.

Travis Oleksuk
Get a goal EARLY. I mean, I know you're going to score a goal this season, many goals in fact, but get one the first game and get it over with. Then destroy all opponents.

Brady Hjelle
Make PBHjT a HUGE success by getting a shutout, or at the very LEAST, a win. No more of this tying LSSU to start the season. I WANT A WIN.

Jordan Fulton
Do what MacGregor Sharp did last year. You're talented. You're going to be on a great line, I'm pretty sure. And this is what's known as a "contract year." So have on. Beersong thinks you will.

Rob Bordson
End your exceptionally long pointless streak. And try not to look so sulky all the time.

Brady Lamb
Shoot the puck so hard it goes through the back of the net. Like Mike Eaves thought Tom Gorowsky did when Stalock fell down in that UW game. But Goro had just missed.

Mighty Midgets (Jacky, MCON, Wade Bergman, Huttel)
Play (as you three veterans always do) like you're 10 feet tall and bullet proof. Jordan Baker told me it was great to be short. And he's shorter than all of you!

Dan Delisle
Check someone so hard they fall into their own bench.

The rest of you? Uhhh... just do your best. Or even better. If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything*.

*That's good advice, Marty.

28 September 2009

One If By Land, Two If By Sea

The British Columbians are coming! The British Columbians are coming!

It's that time of year when UMD plays a team of middle-aged men with wives, kids, and mortgages. Also known as Canadian college hockey players. Last year, when UMD played the Thunderwolves, there was a 30 year old on their roster. I am not even 30. Thankfully.

This year UMD will be playing the Thunderbirds on Saturday. Canadian universities are not very creative! I hope there is a university out there called the Thunderlizards. Can I get a what! what! from the brontosauri up in here? Maybe there is also one called the Thunderplatypi. A platypus would be a great mascot.

These "T-birds," as they have dubbed themselves, are certainly elusive. Their website sucks. There is no information there. They did beat a team called the Ooks recently. I don't even know how to respond to that. They are playing Calgary's AHL affiliate on Wednesday, which I find odd. It sucks that we will get them when they are already demoralized. Josh Meyers will take care of that. They are also going to be playing the Gophers.

I don't understand why these teams come play. I mean, they pretty much embarrass themselves every year. It's weird that they don't just go play Mercyhurst or Suckmidji.

I was hoping to find their roster, but no such luck. And there is a very strange sound coming from somewhere in my house. It sounds like a jackhammer. I have to go now.

27 September 2009

Sunday Evening Coming Down

Sunday evening is almost as bad as Monday morning, isn't it?

At least next Sunday we'll have hockey to discuss! So exciting!

I'm stressing out though. Who thought PBHjT would be so much stress??? I mean, it's just a banana suit. And a few hundred t-shirts that will be confiscated when we try to sell them at the DECC. And bail money when I get arrested for flipping my lid when said t-shirts are confiscated and I realize that I've just had to eat about two grand.


So, if you work for the DECC, or know someone who works for the DECC, or one of the cops at the DECC, or someone in the UMD administration, do me a solid and tell them to lay off PBHjT, okay? We're going to end up donating most of the proceeds to UMD hockey or something anyway.

And if I DO get arrested, please don't chant "Na na na-na, Na na na-na, hey hey hey, Go-od bye!" It's the least you can do.

(P.S. Hi Mom and Dad! I know you love it when I post about stuff like this!)

26 September 2009

Requiem for a Season

Blogger has this feature where I can label my posts, which is a handy way of organizing them. Then all a reader has to do if they want to, say, read everything I've written about Jack Connolly, they can just click on the Jack Connolly label and get hit full blast with craziness. It's very handy.

The labels are pretty discreet, so I don't know if any of you noticed, but somewhere between Thursday and Friday we reached a point of inflection, where the Off-Season label dropped off and the very first Sixth Season label appeared in its place.

Before looking to the future, let's travel back to last season.

Yes, it really happened. No, I still can't believe it. Yes, I still get chills.

The first game of the West regional was one of the greatest days of my life. The Final Five championship would have been another of those days had I not been in the midst of my final exams. But the regional was incredible, not just because of the game's outcome, but the entire experience. I'd say the planning and execution of the signs and the togas and the cheers/chants is what ultimately inspired us to do Peanut Butter Hjelle Time!!! (It is only properly punctuated with three exclamation points.) A little organization and planning can go a long way toward increasing the atmosphere at a game, and if UMD isn't going to promote their own product, someone has to.

The last season was really a turning point for RWD. It was the first season I was able to make it to a majority of games, so it changed the way I was able to experience the games. In years past I'd only been able to listen to the games on the radio or sometimes not at all. I made 23 games last season and I am pretty certain I caught every other game, whether it was on B2 or just the radio. I know it seems like I have no life, but I work over 40 hours a week and have school for another 8-12, so I just have no social life.

Which isn't entirely true, because I met a lot of incredible people last year. UMD has amazing fans, and I'm not discounting the people I have met in seasons past, but the friends I've made over the past year have augmented the already awesome Bulldog hockey atmosphere. I don't want to name names because I don't want to leave anyone out, and like I said, I don't want to detract from the folks I've known for years. I don't know the guys on the ice, and they don't know me, and it's partially by design and partially by accident, and they're only there for four years, tops. I'll be able to come to Bulldog games in 10 years with a lot of the same people and we can laugh about how we KAWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!d at the Miami band or when one of Mitch's Misfits told Biddco he sounded like an anorexic dog.

I don't know how last season can be topped. I mean, other than the obvious NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!!! Some of you who voted in the first of my trio of polls the other night abstained from the second and third, I noticed. (FYI, it appears Keegan Flaherty is the most highly-anticipated non-Dylan Olsen freshman, with every guy receiving at least one vote. Antti Miettinen and Chase Ryan are tied in the Biddco Dead Ringer poll.)

I do know that a lot of guys are gone, and they took a lot of offensive firepower and defensive prowess. But they left their legacy. Those guys were fighters. As freshmen they willed a 9th place team to the Final Five and as seniors they battled to a Final Five championship and an NCAA win. Do you think the remaining guys on the team didn't notice? Or participate? The seniors that left came from a class that had to mature early, and we've got another group of freshmen and sophomores who will also have to.

What the senior class has reminded me, and what I hope they have also imparted to all of you, is to never give up on this team. More than any other college hockey team, UMD has surprised and overachieved. One of the hardest things about rooting for a team that's not a perennial powerhouse is remaining hopeful despite game after game and season after season of disappointment, but we simply must keep believing the next crazy win is a week or a day away. Negativity is a plague that can decimate a fan base, and we can't afford to see that at UMD. Not after last season, not with the new season coming, and not as long as we have a team on the ice who play their best and give it all they've got and wear their jerseys with pride and respect.

There are 18 guys on this team who were a part of the team last year and had a hand in the successes (yes, all of them, whether they were scoring with 42 seconds left in the Princeton game or jostling for a spot in the lineup, everyone contributed) and I'm sure they are pretty certain they're going to have a great year. I'm ready to see who is going to be the next MacGregor Sharp, who tripled his point outcome. I'm ready to see PBHj continue the goaltending excellence UMD has enjoyed for the better part of a decade. I'm ready to see Brady Lamb or Scott Kishel take the same strides Oberg did from freshman to sophomore year (although thankfully neither will have to break a leg in the process.)

I love to think about all the craziness from last year, but I've got to start looking ahead to this season, which is SEVEN DAYS AWAY!

25 September 2009

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Ok, so next weekend's game puts me in a bit of a quandary. I work occasional Saturdays and Oct 3rd happens to be one of them. I get out of work at 4:30, and the game starts at 7:07, which gives me exactly 2 hours and 37 minutes to drive from Minneapolis to Duluth, figure out where the heck to park, and run through the DECC to the game.

I don't know. If I go there will be trouble, but if I stay there will be double.

2. I would get to work out my tweeting at games.
3. I could distribute some of the PBHjT shirts.
4. I already have tickets.

1. I've never driven up to Duluth after work and been on time for a game.
2. It's an exhibition game, does it really matter?
3. Most of my friends won't be at the game.
4. Stupid construction on 35 slows down the drive.

I don't know what to do! Help!

24 September 2009



Since I am a fan of UMD Athletics, UMD Hockey, the UMD Bulldogs AND UMD Stores on Facebook, I learned that according to Seventeen magazine (which no one who is 17 actually reads, btw; by that time gals have graduated to Cosmo), fall fashions include furry vests, "luxe" faux-leather minis, hideous lipstick colors, and UMD hockey t-shirts.

A Peanut Butter Hjelle Time shirt would be a better option. Only $10. Just sayin'...

23 September 2009

Thanks For The Memories

I'm excited and happy for Bruce, of course. Bruce is my friend and I was horribly upset when he was let go last year, not just as a UMD fan but also as a Bruce fan.

But let me take a minute and thank Jeff Papas.

I know this isn't a particularly popular opinion, but realize that Ciskie's firing didn't have anything to do with Jeff's hiring. More like the other way around. Someone had to do the job, which isn't easy to work around, with the travel schedule, especially since not many employers are that forgiving about time off.

It also could not have been easy to take a job when its previous occupant was very popular and was let go in such a controversial manner. People in the community were angry about it, and Bruce was popular with the players and the staff, who probably also weren't happy with what went down.

I think Jeff did a good job. I tried to listen without letting my friendship with Bruce bias me, and though he certainly wasn't perfect, he was articulate, and I definitely caught hints of a dry wit. He reminded me more of an old-school announcer, kind of like the Wild's play-by-play radio guy. I certainly think he cared about the job, and enjoyed doing it, and he improved his schtick in a very short time. He enquired about the position for this season, which shows just how much he liked the job.

Thanks, Jeff, for stepping up when unfortunate circumstances left UMD without an announcer. It was a helluva season for all of us.

22 September 2009

It's A Great Day To Be Alive

Bruce Ciskie is ONCE AGAIN the play-by-play announcer for the Bulldogs!
Of course, I must antagonize him by using a country song as the post title.
I will be posting an interview tonight right now!

RWD: So, how does it feel?

BC: Super. We waited until like the last few minutes, but that's okay. The outcome makes it all worth it.

RWD: Are you doing this alone, or will you have a cohost/color person? And is that color person me?

BC: I honestly don't know for sure what we'll do yet. A lot of that is up to The Fan.

RWD: So there's a chance for me!
[If you change your mind, I'm the first in line. Honey I'm still free, take a chance on me. RWD-aoke!]

BC: I'm relatively certain I won't be alone, at least for home games.

RWD: I'm there for you.
[Doin' more overtime than BTO. Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB. That's how we talked in the '70s. We didn't have a moment to spare.]

BC: "So you're telling me there's a chance??!!"

RWD: A 9% chance.
[High Fidelity reference!]

BC: Of course. [Don’t patronize me!]

RWD: Anything else new this year?

BC: Good question. I'm going to have to get back to you on that. I'm guessing there will be similar flavor to last year before the changes were made, but I haven't really taken time to figure all that out yet.

RWD: How about interviewing the guys in the shower? I know you said you didn't do that last time I interviewed you. But it might spice things up.

BC: Well, that probably won't be happening. The equipment doesn't like getting wet, or something.

RWD: Er... Unintentional porn there.
[I’ve never seen equipment that… no, not going there. Not gonna do it. Nnnnnnnnnoooootttttttttttt gonna do it.]

BC: Well, you did lead the witness.

RWD: Are you doing any high school games this year?

BC: Unknown. I'm certainly willing and able if they need someone to pitch in and help. I haven't been asked, though.

RWD: What about the Coaches' show?

BC: I have no idea. Boy, I'm full of details, right?

RWD: This interview sucks. I can't believe I thought it was a scoop! You should bring back the giveaways. I want to win a pizza at the Lakeview Castle or skate sharpening. Well, let's move on. Back to nude showering.

BC: aaarrrgh

RWD: Who do you wish you'd profiled last year?

BC: The freshmen.

RWD: Specifically.

BC: All of them. I feel almost like I'm stepping in to a whole new team.

RWD: These damn kids keep getting younger and younger, don't they?
[RWD = the female David Wooderson.]

BC: Well, yeah, and I keep getting older. But at least I know what Twitter is.

RWD: There's no Ryan Geris to keep you feeling relevant.

BC: No, but there's Justin May, who's actually older than Ryan Geris.

RWD: He is not a player.
[WTF. That’s like saying “Well, there’s Dick Stewart.”]

BC: That's fine. He's still around all. the. time. [And you love it.]

RWD: He can do the play by play again.

BC: And he'd probably be less rusty than I'll be.

RWD: er, the color

BC: (WARNING: Oct. 3 is exhibition not only for players and officials, but for announcers.)

RWD: Just don't exhibit anything we don't want to see.

BC: Definitely.

RWD: Did watching in the stands change the way you're going to approach the broadcast?

BC: I've thought about that. I don't think so. I was already fully aware of the passion of Bulldog fans. They're smart people, and they want their team to win. I'm sure I'll be the same guy I was before. I did the "stands to booth" transition once already, so hopefully this goes a little more smoothly. Though I'm certain I'll be more nervous than the players next Saturday.

RWD: The game's Friday.

BC: No, the exhibition game is Saturday.

RWD: Lol. Just trying to throw you off your game.

BC: I'm not that easy.

RWD: I expect a full explanation of the attainable pass rule in the first five minutes of the broadcast.

BC: How can I explain something I don't understand?

RWD: You had plenty of time to figure it out.

BC: I've only been gone for a few months, not five years. I do need to step up my research and learn more about the points of emphasis and such for the coming season.

RWD: So last year. During the Princeton game. Do you really think you could have held it together?

BC: Hell no. That's ridiculous.I'm pretty sure I would have called for reinforcements for the Miami game, because there's no way I could have worked. Old-school fans might remember Kerry almost completely losing his voice during the playoff comeback against the Gophers in 1998. That would have been me, only with a game the next night instead of three days off. PAIN.

RWD: I thought you were at that game. How would you have known?

BC: I was at that game, but I worked with Kerry at the time and heard the highlights. It was scary how bad his voice got. But when you think about how rare a game like that is, you just accept the consequences of giving it your all and losing your voice. It's not much different than the three-OT game in St. Cloud, which I did by myself. I was almost literally unable to speak the next day.
[The grammar in this sentence is offensive.]

RWD: That ending sucked. Would you have broken your no-swearing streak?

BC: No. I'm pretty well-trained not to swear on the air.

RWD: Me too. Sober, at least.
[Somewhere in the basement of KFAI there's some tapes to contradict that.]

BC: That's good. You never want to get a radio station fined or in more trouble than that over a simple lack of self-control. [Sometimes it's not so simple.]

RWD: I have excellent self control. Especially at hockey games. I'm quiet, restrained, polite. A perfect lady. [Extremely long pause.] You have no comment on this.

Mrs. BC: He's in the kitchen making Hunter's lunch... Hi by the way.

RWD: Lol, I'm leaving this in.

[another pause]

BC: So no questions for me... loving wife who lives with the sports freak?

RWD: Hahah. Will this make Bruce more or less moody about games?

BC: I don't think it will make a difference.... He's always moody with his sports. He's back now so I'll hand it back to him.

RWD: I was just talking about my demeanor at games.

BC: I saw. You lied.
[NEVER] It's like me saying that I've never called out a ref for making a correct call just because I didn't like the call.

RWD: I'm kind and gentle with the opponents.

BC: And I'm Nick Punto.

RWD: You wish.

BC: Actually, I'm probably a better hitter. (blindfolded)
[What are you smoking??? I've never seen Bruce do anything athletic.]

RWD: What excites you most about this season? [Trying to get back to hockey...]

BC: I'm more like Prince Fielder, without the really baggy pants and the tattoo on my neck. And the prolific 40-home run power. [And the hypnotic jelly rolls around the middle] And the ability to charge into other teams' locker rooms. [No, Bruce, don’t sell yourself short. I know you could do that one.]

RWD: Let's talk about a team whose season isn't OVER.

BC: The Brewers have like 10 games left, just like the Teasing Twins do.

RWD: I think I've seen that movie.

BC: Anyway, you were saying? [TEN MINUTES AGO]

RWD: What excites you most about this season?

BC: Same things that excite me about every season. Seeing the freshmen from last year get better and grow more consistent facial hair.
[Some of them can only dream of that.] Watching new leaders step up. The concepts remain the same, but the names change. You know that there will be freshmen on this team that are ready to play before the others, and some will make a huge impact. No matter how last year went, hope always springs eternal when the season starts. When you're coming off a league playoff title, there is more reason for hope.

RWD: Who are you going to profile first?

BC: I'll probably do the usual and talk to the upperclassmen first. Especially the three who have the honor of serving as captains/assistant captains.
[Well, that’s dumb. You just said you regretted not profiling the freshmen.]

RWD: Like Drew!

BC: Yes.

RWD: He's on my fantasy team.

BC: Super.

RWD: So are Dylan Olsen, Jacky, and PBHj.

BC: That's a biased team, but a good one. SHOCKING that JCon would be on your team.

RWD: I know! Such a good player. It's not biased. Dirty has 5 Sioux guys. And this other idiot has 6.

BC: I would have drafted him just so I could hold it over your head until you offered me Jordan Schroeder and Patrick Wiercioch for him.

RWD: I don't have Schroeder.


RWD: Not on purpose.

BC: That's even worse. At least you could talk yourself into thinking it was a good idea if you did it on purpose.

RWD: I have a good team.

BC: Now you're going to kick yourself in the head every time Schroeder scores a goal.

RWD: He'll tear an ACL.

BC: Ha.

RWD: What's your season prediction?

BC: I picked them 5th in a media poll conducted by folks in Madison. I'd offer up a link, but it hasn't been published yet.


BC: Eergh, I picked them 5th.



RWD: So, 5th?

BC: Yes. Fourth. 5th.

RWD: Behind DU, UND, and UAA, right?

BC: 1. Denver; 2. UND; 3. Wisky; 4. UMD; 5. Minny; 6. SCSU; 7. CC; 8. UAA; 9. MSU; 10. MTU. I have Dylan Olsen as my Freshman/Rookie of the Year.

RWD: Bah! no! That's terrible! My Jacky was picked as pre-season ROY.

BC: Jinx?

RWD: Are you ready for PEANUT BUTTER HJELLE TIME!!!?

BC: I wonder how many times I'm going to have to stop myself from saying "Stalock" during a game.

RWD: None.

BC: Can't wait to watch Brady play.

RWD: Because you won't get confused.

BC: I'm pretty easily confused.

RWD: Brady will actually be in the crease.

BC: What's the crease?


RWD: A joke gone bad? [Yes. Leave it to the professionals, Bruce.]

BC: Like all of mine.

RWD: That's what I was getting at.

BC: Oh, I have a million of them. Prepare for a season of ref taunts and bad jokes!

Hear that? Those are the groans of the Red Rocks managers realizing they've made a big mistake. (J/k, Bruce, as long as you keep calling the Mavs "MANKATO STATE" I'm with ya.)

21 September 2009


The advent of The Numbers was first of all to track who had been sucking lately. If people sucked enough, they got On Notice. And it was also to track how My Guys were doing. But the best thing about the recurring feature is on those days when I'm too tired/drunk/paralyzed with rage to post, there's something to put up.

This year I'm going to expand upon the Numbers, as well as have a box in the sidebar for them. Maybe.

Here's what's the same:
1. Wins/points until we surpass last season's total
2. My Guys competition
3. Freshman competition
4. On Notice

Here's what's new:
1. Connolly vs. Connolly, points-wise
2. Olsen vs. Olson, points wise
3. Drew vs. Drew, penalty minutes-wise

Some of these might be a little unfair (please, Drew has made an office out of the penalty box. He sharpens pencils for the scorekeeper and has an I Heart My Yorkie coffee mug and a framed photo of MEg in there.) but it's kind of fun that there are so many repeated names. I can pretty much assume the next recruit UMD signs is also going to be named Brady Hjelle. But he'll be a centre.

20 September 2009

Idiots Do Stupid Thing

Ok, not really the title of the article. But, the Anaheim Ducks have reassigned MacGregor Sharp to the AHL. I'm sure it's only temporary.
In other news, today is Mike Curry's birthday. Mike, I may not have made any t-shirts for you or used Photoshop to humiliate you, but you'll always be one of my guys, and I hope you had a great birthday!

19 September 2009

Old School

I found this via QuickFacts on Twitter:

Former Bulldog and Greyhound (ok, for one season, but it was a good one) Rusty Fitzgerald was a favorite of mine in that era. We all know I have a very random way of selecting my favorites. I liked him because my dog and he had the same name. Which, if you think about it, is as good of a reason as any.

18 September 2009

Straw Poll

The season! It's going to start so soon! People might actually read RWD again! Or, at all!

In honor of Tracy, my favorite Iowegian reader, here's a few preseason straw polls for you!

17 September 2009


Just in time for the end of New York Fashion Week, THE PEANUT BUTTER HJELLE SHIRTS ARE READY FOR ORDER!!!!!!!!

They are $10. SO CHEAP! SO AMAZING!

They DO NOT have anything on the back. No date, no PBHj w/a hockey stick. We would not have been able to sell them for $10 if we had had them on the back.

Easiest way to order is through PayPal. Send me your email address, size, and quantity. I will send a request for payment through PayPal. Until you pay, your shirt is not really yours. If you really need to pay some other way we can figure it out.

Pickup will be at the game on Oct 9th. We will be there bright and early. Biddco will be dressed as a banana. It should be easy to find.

If you live in Duluth but will not be at the game or want it early, arrange w/Biddco. (Join the
Facebook group or tUMD Penalty Box to do so)
If you live in the Cities and can't make the game or want it early, arrange w/me (email!).
If you need it shipped we'll have to figure something out.

You can order by emailing me (runwiththedogs[at]hotmail[dot]com) or sending me or Biddco a private message on Facebook or on the Penalty Box.

First come, first served, so let us know AS SOON AS POSSIBLE what your order will be.

16 September 2009

Get The Picture?

That was a horrible Nickelodeon show.

I noticed that Chase Ryan has the same roster pic as last year. I think. Or he is frozen in the same expression at all times.

I think they just lost the picture.

But I found it! It's all good!!!

15 September 2009

Lost Boy

According to Bruce Ciskie, UMD recruit John O'Neill has de-committed. I don't really talk about recruiting on here because it's beyond the scope of this blog and I don't have the contacts or the time to do it. However, I'm not surprised this happened.

To recap, here's what we've got in the minor leagues:

F Joe Basaraba (Shattuck)
F Max Tardy (USHL)
F JT Brown (USHL)
F Chris Stafne (USHL)
D Luke McManus (USHL)
D Justin Faulk (NTDP)
G Mac Carruth (NAHL)

F Adam Krause (H-town)
F Caleb Herbert (Bloomington-Jefferson)

Lookin' good!

14 September 2009


For the past three years, tUMD fans have had a stressful time at games. I mean, more stressful than usual.

This year, we have to go through a paradigm shift, and I'm here to help you all transition.

Because I am such a giving and generous person, here are some helpful tips.

1. When you are looking for the goalie, he is in the crease, which is the area right in front of the goal. He is not:

a. sprawled behind the net
b. chasing after the referee
c. playing a puck at the blue line

2. Our defencemen will be making a lot more plays with the puck. I hope. Please, guys? Anyway, they will have to be the ones making the breakout plays.

3. UMD goalies will no longer receive any more Golden Globes for Best Actor in a Dramatic Series whenever an opponent comes near them.

4. Popular cheers must be adapted. "Stalock Stalock!" and "TA STALOCK!!!!!!!" must be changed to "Hjelle Hjelle!" or "TA HJELLE!!!!!!!!!!" Please make adequate preparations to avoid embarrassment.

None of this helps me, as I am a bundle of nerves any time the puck is in the defensive zone.

We should expect a few things to remain the same.

1. UMD will have top-notch goaltending that will give them a chance to win any and every game. The other 5 guys on the ice will have to take that and run with it.

2. Backchecking is important. Don't listen to Phil Kessel. Grinding the puck out in the corners, keeping it AWAY from the net, clogging up shooting lanes, and blocking shots are only going to help our goalies, as they always have.

3. UMD's student section and fans will throw their support 100% behind whoever is in the net, just like they did for Isaac, Al, and any other fella that stood between the pipes.

4. UMD's defencemen are still required to defend the goal crease and send any and all opponents who feel like setting up base camp flying with a good hip check.

These tips will come in handy in less than 19 days!!! ZOMG!!!!!!!!!!

13 September 2009

Dream Team

"There is no team like the best team, which is our team right here! We will show you, we're the best team of the very little league this year!" (from You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown)

Here's how the draft washed out. I made one mistake in that I totally forgot Jordan Schroeder was still available when I had my first pick; and I accidentally picked Ben Blood even though he sucks, but that was only because I had him graded a D but color-coded orange, which was the color for Bs. Eek. I dropped him immediately after the draft and replaced him with Drew Akins. We drafted 7th out of 7.

Brady Hjelle, UMD
Patrick Wiercioch, DU
Joe Colborne, DU
Jack Connolly, UMD
Dylan Olsen, UMD
Mike Louwerse, MSUM
Brett Olson, MTU
Nick Leddy, UMTC
Tommy Grant, UAA
Drew Akins, UMD
William Wrenn, DU
Austin Lee, MSUM
Michael Davies, UW
Kane Lafranchise, UAA
Malcolm Gwilliam, MTU
Jordy Murray, UW

Here are the other guys, in draft order. I won't reveal their identities, though they are free to identify themselves.

Marc Cheverie, DU
Garrett Raboin, SCSU
Garrett Roe, SCSU
Kael Mouillierat, MSUM
Brendan Smith, UW
Drew Shore, DU
Luke Salazar, DU
Jake Marto, UND
Billy Sweatt, CC
Ben Street, UW
Matt Donovan, DU
Kevin Murdock, MSUM
Brett Bennett, UW
Craig Smith, UW
Jared Festler, SCSU
Lee Baldwin, UAA

Brad Eidsness, UND
Ryan Lasch, SCSU
Cade Fairchild, UMTC
Jay Barriball, UMTC
Blake Geoffrion, UW
Danny Kristo, UND
Deron Cousens, MTU
Dan Dunn, SCSU
Zach Budish, UMTC
Rylan Galiardi, MSUM
Jacob Cepis, UMTC
Joe Howe, CC
Justin Schultz, UW
Paul Phillips, DU
Rylan Schwartz, CC
Seth Helgeson, UMTC

Alex Kangas, UMTC
Justin Fontaine, UMD
Rhett Rakhshani, DU
Mike Connolly, UMD
Kevin Clark, UAA
Jake Gardiner, UW
Gabe Guentzel, CC
Aaron Marvin, SCSU
Geoff Irwin, MSUM
David Fischer, UMTC
Jordy Christian, SCSU
Kris Fredheim, CC
Andy Bohmbach, UW
Nils Backstrom, UAA
Kent Patterson, UMTC
Josh Lunden, UAA

Mike Lee, SCSU
Anthony Maiani, DU
Kurt Davis, MSUM
Derek Stepan, UW
Jason Gregoire, UND
Ryan McDonagh, UW
Brett Hextall, UND
Jordan Baker, MTU
Curtis Leinweber, UAA
Mike Cichy, UND
Ben Hanowski, SCSU
Nate Prosser, CC
Jon Olthius, UAA
David Toews, UND
Nicholas Rioux, SCSU
Mario Lamoureaux, UND

Bryce Christianson, UAA
Jordan Schroeder, UMTC
Chay Genoway, UND
Tony Lucia, UMTC
Aaron Ness, UMTC
Mike Hoeffel, UMTC
Kyle Ostrow, DU
Drew Dobson, MTU
John Mitchell, UW
Jordan Fulton, UMD
Stephen Schultz, CC
Sam Lofquist, UMTC
Trevor Hunt, UAA
Ben Grotting, UW
Brad Malone, UND
Jesse Martin, DU

Tyler O'brien, CC
Chris VandeVelde, UND
Ryan Flynn, UMTC
Tyler Ruegsegger, DU
Darcy Zajac, UND
Patrick Johnson, UW
Zach Harrison, MSUM
Brandon Vossberg, DU
Mike Testwuide, CC
Andy Sackrison, MSUM
Corey Fienhage, UND
Channing Boe, MSUM
Derrick Lapoint, UND
Andreas Vlassopoulos, CC
Evan Trupp, UND
Joe Gleason, UND

TEAM COUGARS for the win!

12 September 2009

Film Festival

I watch a lot of TV. Right now, for example, I'm watching Rocky and Bullwinkle, which is superb. Bullwinkle is playing poker with Boris. He has 4 of a kind. Some people are now jumping off a riverboat. And Natasha shot Boris in the badonkadonk with a shotgun.

Enough. This isn't Television Without Pity. Getting on with things, I also watch a lot of movies, and while there aren't many hockey movies out there (a tragedy!), you can get a comprehensive list here at RWD.

Slap Shot
It's the best hockey movie ever. I know it's a narrow field, but still, it's fabulous. It's also gloriously vulgar, which I love. It's funny and gritty and doesn't have any feel-good crap. It's just the story of a minor-league hockey team that gains notoriety when they start fighting on ice rather than playing hockey. It's a good way to get attention, I know. Pretty much every great line in that movie contains at least three words I never use on RWD. Oh, and it stars Paul Newman.

Slap Shot 2: Breaking the Ice
This completely unnecessary movie came out a generation after the first. It stars a third-rate Baldwin brother and I only watched it out of curiosity. The way people gawk at car accidents. Gary Busey is in it, too. The Hanson brothers are still playing for the Chiefs, which is totally unlikely, and Gary Busey is this crazy religious guy who buys the team and makes them the hockey equivalent of the Washington Generals, under the premise that hockey in its current form is not suitable for family entertainment. Well, what the **** do you think I was watching growing up? And I am an evil genius. So take THAT, Gary Busey. I had to look all this up as the movie left no imprint on my brain, other than it sucking.

Miracle tells the story of the 1980 U.S. men's Olympic hockey team. It stars a major hottie/no-name as Jack O'Callahan, the cop from CSI: New York as Jim Craig, and Kurt Russell who almost perfectly channels Herb Brooks. Of course we know Brooks died on I-35 before the movie came out. Great movie. No snide remarks. I saw it in the theater and when UMD was mentioned I cheered audibly. I'm a nerd. P.S. the United States beats Russia. Sorry to give away the ending.

Mystery, Alaska
Definitely a funny movie with some of that all-important vulgarity. The town has a game they play every Saturday and they definitely do not have the "everyone plays" mentality normally present in recreational sports. And if you're old you can't play anymore, according to Burt Reynolds. Their little team gets to play a game against the New York Rangers (who evidently didn't want to be in the movie, so they had actors instead) and they lose. Which is realistic, for once. But there I go again, spoiling the ending.

All I have to say about Youngblood is I think I should become a junior hockey host mother.

The Mighty Ducks
This movie was big big big in my hometown because the kid who played 10-year-old Gordon went to my elementary school. Pacey from Dawson's Creek is in the movie. Gordon Bombay (Emilio Estevez) missed a goal in a shoot-out as a kid and that immediately made him a social pariah. This is very true-to-life here in Minnesota. We do not mess around about hockey. Anyway, Adult Gordon gets a DUI (he should have played for UND!) and gets sentenced to coach a pee-wee hockey team. That seems like a good idea. Send criminals to be role models for children! And he gets the worst kids too. They even smell bad. We all learned what a triple deke is. But they win in the end against his former coach. Oops! Another spoiler.

I don't remember a whole lot about this movie other than when Gordon Bombay is hanging out with Kareem Abdul-Jabar and then he's late for the game and their tutor has to be the coach and then he comes running in with a duck call super late. Also I remember that "Greenland is covered with ice and Iceland is very nice." I'll never mix that up.

I haven't seen this movie, but I don't really think it has a point. I mean, these kids just won at the Junior Goodwill Games. That's international competition. Why would they suddenly have trouble getting onto a varsity squad? Even at Breck Eden Valley Academy. Well, maybe because they have no talent.

I didn't know this but there is a movie about a chimp that plays hockey. The chimp is still taller than Ryan Duncan and smarter than Jase Weslosky. Still waiting for the Air Bud hockey movie.

11 September 2009


In the basement awhile ago, I found a program from the 2003-2004 season. It's kind of amazing. I mean, Justin May has more hair. It's from a January series against Michigan Tech. This was prepared before these guys had any idea they were going to be in the Frozen Four. I mean, yeah, I'm sure they hoped they would, because who doesn't. But they weren't making plans to visit the Freedom Trail and eat at Legal Seafood or anything.

The team photo is laid out really weird. It's not all seniors in the front. Probably because there were only 5 seniors (NO ONE FORGET ABOUT MATT KLEIN. He is very nice and funny!) so Stauffacher is kind of jammed in there (probably because he was an assistant captain) and Beau is sitting in the middle flanked by all the coaches. I've never seen them do a picture in quite this way before. The coaches are not wearing skates, incidentally. Dan Kronick is in the photo and he looks ugly as ever. Couldn't he have put a bag over his head, or worn a veil or something?

I did not know Evan Schwabe was majoring in elementary and middle school education. And Tim Hambly was a math major. You all know how I feel about math.

There's an unintentionally hilarious photo of Park Point, which would be more unintentionally hilarious if it had Junior Lessard in it. (That's for you, Dirty.) There's also this advert for an optometrist that has Champ telling a basketball ref that he needs new glasses. I know it's a basketball ref because Champ is wearing a basketball jersey, and he has a potbelly. It's like middle-aged Champ.

The "Spotlight" feature is on T.J. Caig. It's in English, unlike
the last feature I read on ol' Teej. He likes Trevor Linden, Pop-Tarts, and Kurt Cobain. (I wonder if some of the kids on the current team have even heard of Kurt Cobain. TJ is like 10 years older than some of them.)

This was Jamie Russell's first season as the MTU head coach. They had 2 wins at that point in the season. Ah, good old reliable Tech. But one of those wins was against UMD. Hmm. It wasn't even a Tech win, it was a regular 2-pointer!

There is a coupon for a free cup of coffee with a gas fill-up at a Holiday Stationstore. It has no expiration date. I'm clipping it now!

The program ends with a column written by ambiguously-named Jess Myers. He talks about the "New DECC" project. Truly a visionary! He wrote "a myriad of" instead of myriad. Argh. I hate that. But he does mention UMD's raucous road trippers made more noise at Magness than the DU fans. This is unsurprising. It's like a morgue. Except when that high school kid wanted to fight me. He looked like a woodchuck. He picked the Bulldogs to sweep Tech. And he was right!

I really need to hang on to more of these programs. Ahhh, memories!

10 September 2009

Dos and Don'ts

Roster pix are up!!

It's like getting the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is for men. Kind of. Not really.

I'm sorry, but UMD's site doesn't let me link to the pix, which is very unfortunate.

DO: look much more grown up than last year. (Brady Hjelle)

DON'T: get rid of your awesome facial hair! (Brady Lamb)

DO: wear stylin' pinstripes. (a lot of guys)

DON'T: have a crooked tie/shirt collar. (Jordan Fulton and Brady Hjelle)

DO: wear a pink tie and a big smile! (David Grun)

DON'T: wear exactly the same thing as Rob Bordson. (Jake Hendrickson)

DO: get a haircut so that I can't graft your hair onto anyone else's head. (Mike Connolly)

DON'T: refuse to cut your hair even when the team has awesome mohawks. (Mike Montgomery)

DO: make your hair at least slightly less peroxide-brassy. (Rob Bordson)

DON'T: have frosted tips. You are not Ryan Seacrest. (Justin Fontaine)

DO: use an appropriate amount of hair gel. (Drew Olson)

DON'T: let your mom cut your bangs over the kitchen sink!!! (Jack Connolly)

DO: get a nice hunky summer tan. (Chad Huttel and Scott Kishel)

DON'T: use tanning oil to slick your hair straight back. (Dylan Olsen)

DO: smile and show your cutie dimples. (Kyle Schmidt)

DON'T: look so sad! (Dan Delisle)

DO: be a majorly hot hottie. (Mike Seidel)

09 September 2009


No, not the Britney Spears perfume. WCHA FANTASY HOCKEY.

MEg has roped me into sharing her team this year (because I am largely responsible for two of her best pics last year: Stalock and Fonzie; and also because she has to miss the draft. I'm being used), and I'm doing a LOT of research. And because I am such a kind and loving person, I'm going to give my fellow "owners" some of my, um, best tips. Come now, let's all bask in the glow of my vast knowledge of college hockey.

Starting goalie: Bryce Christianson, UAA
With UAA blogger Donald predicting a top-5 finish for the Seawolves this year, a great pick for those middle-of-the-round drafters would be UAA's probable starting goalie. Donald's predictions are usually pretty accurate, with a margin of error of only 4 or 5 places.

Freshman superstar: Ben Hanowski, SCSU
Minnesota high school stud Ben Hanowski is lacing up for the Bad Huskies this year. His Little Falls coach had pretty much one play in his playbook: give the puck to Ben. Why would Bob Motzko deviate from something that worked so well? I'm sure Ben would be happy to play 55 minutes a night.

Defensive hotshot: Ricky Doriott, MTU
Look for a break-out season from Michigan Tech's own Ricky Dorito. Er, Doriott. He's a fast skater, well-conditioned, and is one of the brilliant minds on the forefront of experimental physics.

Offensive breakout: Mike Dorr, UMD traitor UMTC benchwarmer MSUM student-nonathlete
Oops. Save that pick til next year...

Hope that helps you make your picks, Weldie!

08 September 2009

What's Wrong With This Picture?

I'm trying to avoid this commercial about abused animals because it's very upsetting and makes me want to adopt an entire shelter of animals and I get very sad.

So here's my distraction.

THE BANANA SUIT IS HERE, PEOPLE!!!!! But you don't get to see the whole thing until the game!

07 September 2009

Vintage Clothing

I'm not supposed to reveal the source of this shirt, because this person is ashamed to admit his true allegiance, but this is pretty nifty. I mean, really, you didn't think I came up with "Runnin' with the dogs" on my own?

06 September 2009

That Other Draft

I lost two of My Guys this year, and so I need to rebuild my team of favorites!

Let's get started!

Me: First, RWD would like to thank the Internet for hosting this draft, you've been great hosts and I've felt so welcome. In the first round of the 2009-2010 My Guy draft, RWD would like to select... JACK CONNOLLY.

Applause, applause, hand him a jersey, take photo with like ten old dudes in suits.

Bruce Ciskie: All right, folks, we're sitting here with the man of the hour, #1 overall pick Jack Connolly. Jack finished second last year in the My Guy competition, so it's natural RWD would start out with someone she knew could jump in and be a playmaker right away. Jack, how do you feel right now?

JCON: This chick is crazy. I mean, seriously. I fear for my life.

Bruce Ciskie: I don't doubt it. Good luck with that. Let's go on to the next round.

Me: RWD would like to congratulate Jack Parker and Boston University on their national championship. In the second round of the 2009-2010 My Guy draft, RWD would like to select... BRADY LAMB.

Applause, applause, hand him a jersey, take photo with like an old person, a random UMD alumnus, and six random children. Ciskie is too busy writing about college football on Twitter to interview a second-rounder.

Me: In the third round of the 2009-2010 My Guy draft... dans la troisième étape du 2009-2010 Mon Homme repechage... RWD would like to select... RWD voudrait choisir... MIKE SEIDEL.

Hey, it's the third round. By now, everyone's gone home. Jersey's in the mail.

Aaand.... scene!

05 September 2009


Well then.

It's been a long time since I've had a lovely Photoshop post for you folks. I stumbled across
this blog which fancies itself THE college hockey blog (or so its name says), and its proprietor called my Oregon Trail banner the "greatest banner to a blog you'll ever see." This brings the number of reactions to said banner containing the appropriate amount of reverence and awe to one.

It's also been a long time since I embarrassed My Sweet Jacky on the internets. I know it's not nice but I'm remorseless in general, so please accept my shallow apology.

I am, of course, desperate to keep the original content flowing in order to make it until the exhibition game without skipping a day of posting, so I've been trying to make associations to blog posts anywhere I can. I am reminded of the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie has writer's block and asks if the other girls remember this guy she dated, Randall the Sandal Guy, and says "Is that anything??"

So this vowel-rationing gentleman named "blldgsrule" joined the Penalty Box recently, and I noticed his signature line says "if I hear one more person behind me say "jacks 22 right?" im going to turn around and say "yea nevermind the long curly blonde hair, he dyed his hair and got a perm."


Admit it. You've wondered. You've also wondered what would happen if you took a flatiron to Goldilocks.

Creeped out? Oh well. On the plus side, I knocked over the sun sphere.

04 September 2009

Oops! I Did It Again

I started this blog on 2 September 2004. I always forget that and think that I started it mid-September. Not quite sure why.

In 2005, I forgot the first anniversary (btw, ANNIVERSARIES by definition happen on a yearly basis. Never on a monthly basis. Just a PSA for my sickeningly sweet friends out there.) because apparently I was too mad about Steve Czech being elected captain.

In 2006, I forgot about the second anniversary because I was too busy hating Anthony LaPanta. A noble pursuit. I hate that Robby Inchwormakoski person, too. Then 4 days later I was really excited that 10,000 people had read RWD, and then I had to edit that post to finally recognize I'd been doing it for 2 years. It was fun, we sang Harry Chapin. Good times.

In 2007, I forgot about the third anniversary (does this feel like The Twelve Days of Christmas to you?) because I was suffering from crippling road rage. I finally acknowledged it 8 days later, but I was really too stressed about losing Mike Curry to care.

In 2008, I didn't even acknowledge the fourth anniversary. Probably in anger management counseling. Never was there a greater waste of money.

I love love love love love love love writing RWD. Thank you so much for reading.

03 September 2009

Switching Lanes

Oh my god, y'all.

When we talk about football, we have to be all Southern, doncha know?

Anyway, here's what we have to talk about. Tonight's football game. Which was on TV! Glorious!

Kind of.

Come on, guys. Only one UMD sport is supposed to enrage me. You football boys are just supposed to win games. I didn't know you even know how to lose! Ok, I know that we had a true freshman at quarterback and we really have no passing game (except for the one exciting big one that I thought for sure was going to, like, the piccolo player), but even the referee couldn't get the team's name right ("Time out, Cal Washington!") and they were sightseeing at Mount Rushmore two days ago! Speaking of Mount Rushmore, did you know it hides a lost city made entirely out of gold? I learned that yesterday from Nicolas Cage. Anyway, a bunch of pansies who were out romancing bison mere days ago should have been no match for Isaac Odim!

I was happy to see UMD football on my TV, though, and they certainly tried hard and weathered many many many attempts (some successful) by Central Washington to injure our players (including #9 who learned his blocking moves from the Vikings' #4). And the announcers totally called us "Minnesota" a few times... take that you stinkin' Gophers!

Edit: Overheard by Mullet at the football game: "Is Central Washington in Minnesota?" Jolly good.

02 September 2009

Things To Do In Duluth When You're Dead

Ok, I know my Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead post went over like a fart in church, but this isn't going to be as bad.

The Star Tribune had an article about
can't-miss activities in Duluth. It's uber-schmaltzy, which is somewhat off-putting, but it hits all the basic stops: Enger Tower, Lakewalk, Zoo, other people's houses... Whatever.

I go to Duluth a LOT, as we know, but mostly in the winter, of course, and the main attraction is hockey, but I also go to Duluth by MYSELF a lot and have to find things to do. So, they may not be the most popular places to go, or the top secret places only the locals know about, but I have my routines. Here's what I MUST hit in Duluth/the Northland this fall/winter.

1. Sammy's Pizza
I've already been to Sammy's (the one on First, OF COURSE) once this summer, with my family (some were more enthusiastic about it than others...), but I love love love love love eating greasy pizza. Especially with extra cheese. I love to eat the tiny triangles, too.

2. Gooseberry Falls
Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous in the late fall. Especially when hung over. It's a great way to take a big chunk out of a day, too, because it's a bit of a drive, and there are quite a few places to hike.

3. U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame
I don't go there every time, but I did tell MEg that we had to go up there this fall. It's a perfect way to get pumped up for a hockey game and to learn about hockey history.

4. The Lakeview Castle
I go to the Castle on virtually every visit, often more than once, partially because I general stay with two people who work there and partially because the food is REALLY tasty and not insanely expensive. It also has a great view of Lake Superior and is on the way to Gooseberry, too.

5. Skyline Drive
I generally like to drive at least part of it, either on the way out of town or on the way back from somewhere like a mini-mite tournament in Proctor. I really need to take someone with me so I can take pictures in my car without fear of driving off the road.

6. The Bulldog Shop
Because I can't have enough UMD gear!!

7. The Firelight Inn
I stay here once a year. It's a great bed and breakfast on the east side of Duluth, and even though staying there makes me a sexegenarian (according to FireHelmetGuy), I like having breakfast in bed and a jacuzzi in my room.

8. Duluth Pack
So I can pretend I'm outdoorsy. Also, it's a good place for me to get Christmas presents for my family. We've had Duluth packs since before they became trendy.

I'm always looking for other suggestions (specifically outdoorsy stuff) to keep me occupied, because I get antsy on Saturdays while waiting for the game to start!

01 September 2009

Sharp News

I love it when the Friends of RWD make it easy to post.

RWD reader and fellow MacG S fan Vizoroo sent me
this link this morning. The article is from April, but it's still relevant. Some Anaheim fan (I'm having trouble forgiving him/her for being an Anaheim fan, but s/he is a MacG S fan, which supercedes all) really likes MacG. And what's not to adore and worship about him, anyway? He is talented, hard-working, handsome, and so very very very clutch. Which is not the proper usage of the word, but whatevs.

Let's see the highlight reel from the article:

In many ways, the story of MacGregor Sharp is the story of Mason Raymond. The Alberta natives played together for four years, two years on the same junior hockey team and two years at Minnesota-Duluth. At both programs, the same pattern played out: Sharp and Raymond would post similar numbers in their first year together, only to have Raymond pull away as the superstar in the second year. Though identical in size and age, their styles were different: Mason, the speedster with great hands and MacGregor, the relentless grinding puckhound.

I'm so glad we had MacG for 4 years. Sorry Mase, but I'm sure you're not surprised. Nor do I think you care. (Though I'm sure MacGregor Sharp doesn't care either, but that's not the point. I care enough for both of us!)

Sharp followed up a shot on Gophers goaltender Alex Kangas, potting the rebound and knocking the flu-ridden Kangas out of the game. MacGregor opened scoring again the next night when he chased down a misplay by Sioux goalie Brad Eidsness, depositing the shorthanded puck in the net before the tender could return to his crease. Then, in the championship game, Sharp made a sweet pass on a 2-on-2 break on the power play, only to slide the return feed under Pioneers backstop Marc Cheverie. It was the first of Sharp's three goals that night, and the Bulldogs became the first Play-In winner to ever take the WCHA championship.

How did he pick from so many different choices? I can not WAIT until the UMD Hockey Facebook Fan Page comes out with the 3rd installment of its highlight series.

His performance in both the WCHA and NCAA tournaments shows he's developed poise. He has great two-way hockey sense: a grinding backcheck, but equally skilled at sniffing out rebounds and anticipating bad plays. He can create relentless first man pressure, but he's also played a lot of time as the second forechecker. He plays a solid penalty kill, but his impressive passing and his ability to dangle on the halfboards made him an indispensible center on the best power play in the WCHA. If I had to pinpoint the part of his game that caught McNab's attention, I'd say it was his play in the NHL sized rink. The Final Five was played at Xcel Energy in St. Paul, and the smaller but longer zones seemed to benefit Sharp on both sides of the puck.

He forgot to mention: he's dreamy. Anaheim better not try to make him mean and cheap. I mean, seriously, you've got enough cheap goons. Mitts off my Sharpie.

Huh. I copied like, 3/4 of the article. Oh well, there's still other a few other things on there.

Speaking of dreamy, WCH
listed Mike Seidel as the 24th best prospect in the west. MacGregor Sharp is mentioned. But sorry, Chris. No one will replace MacGregor to me. Just like no one will replace Mike Curry or Evan Schwabe.