29 June 2009

And In This Corner...

Warning: not safe for losers who don't like fighting in hockey.

Why hello there, Drew Olson.

I love you already.

(Thanks to Richie for posting this on tPB!)

27 June 2009

...And The Rest

And so, we have our draft class of 2009.

Et là, nous avons notre classe de repechage de 2009.

Round 1, Dylan Olsen, to the Chicago Blackhawks.
Round 3, Dan Delisle, to the Chicago Blackhawks.
Round 7, Max Tardy, to the St. Louis Blues.

Am I going to have to be a Blackhawks fan now? Seriously? This is upsetting.

Est-ce que je devrai être un fanatique de Blackhawks maintenant? Sérieusement? C'est bouleversant.

I am excited to see Dan taken so high. I'm not very good at judging prospects because I don't care, try, or know very much, so I rely on others to figure out how guys will shape up. Chicago must see a lot of promise in Dan, or they wouldn't have taken him in the third round. The big guys always have a tougher adjustment period in the WCHA, but I'm confident that once he adjusts to the wild inconsistencies in the refereeing in the conference, he'll be a force in front of the net. Just try to knock him out of the way.

Je suis heureux de voir Dan choisi rapidement. Je ne suis pas très bon pour le jugement des perspectives parce que je ne m'inquiète pas, n'essaye pas, ou ne sais pas beaucoup, ainsi je compte sur d'autres pour comprendre comment nos joueurs se développeront. Chicago doit voir beaucoup de potentiel en Dan, ou ils ne l'auraient pas pris dans le troisième ronde. Les grands joueurs ont toujours une période d'ajustement plus dure dans le WCHA, mais je suis confiant que quand il s'ajuste sur les contradictions aliénées dans l'arbitrage dans la conférence, il sera une force devant le but. Essayez de le frapper à l'écart.

I've been so focused on this year's class because they're almost here (98 days!!!!) that I forgot about our exciting class of 2010! Max Tardy was one of the last picks in the draft, and I'd completely forgotten that he was ranked so highly (
among North American skaters). I know it's kind of weird to be drafted in the late rounds, but I hope Max is super excited. I'm excited for a Greyhound to be drafted (DHG will die) and I'm also now 100% on the Max Tardy bandwagon as we have the same birthday!

J'ai été beaucoup concentré sur la classe de cette année parce qu'ils sont presque ici (98 jours !!!!) que j'ai oublié notre étonnant classe de 2010! Max Tardy était l'une des dernières sélections dans le repechage, et j'avais complètement oublié qu'il a été bien rangé (parmi les patineurs North American). Je sais il est un peu étrange pour être choisi vers la fin des ronds, mais j'espère que Max est très heureux. Je suis captivé pour qu'un Greyhound soit rédigé (DHG mourrai) et je suis aussi maintenant 100% un fanatique de Max Tardy car nous avons le même anniversaire!!

In other Dylan Olsen news, the Blackhawks had 5 draft picks in college. I feel much more secure in his future with UMD than, say, CC fans have to be feeling about John Moore.

Dans d'autres nouvelles de Dylan Olsen, le Blackhawks a sélectionné 5 étudiants universitaires dans l'ébauche. Je me sens plus bloqué dans son futur avec l'UMD que, par exemple, des fanatiques de CC dois se sentir au sujet de John Moore.

Congratulations to all 211 young men who were selected in the 2009 draft. You're living the dream now, babies!

Félicitations à chacun des 211 jeunes hommes qui ont été choisis dans le repechage 2009. Vous vivez le rêve maintenant, bébés!

26 June 2009


Hello, my comrades! Since this is a bilingual draft, this will be a bilingual post.

Bonjour, mes camarades! Puisque c'est une repechage bilingue, ce sera un blog bilingue.

Incoming tUMD defenceman Dylan Olsen, of the Camrose Kodiaks, was drafted 28th overall by the Chicago Blackhawks. He is the second Kodiak to be selected in the first round. The major buzz over Dylan is whether or not he will actually don the maroon and gold, or whether he will defect to the WHL.

Le plus nouveau défenseur de l'UMD, Dylan Olsen, au les Kodiaks du Camrose, a été choisi 28ème dans la première ronde par les Blackhawks du Chicago. Il est le deuxième Kodiak à choisir dans la première ronde. Le cancan de Dylan est s'il portera le rouge foncé et l'or, ou s'il passera au WHL.

I'm sure that the first thing he will do upon returning to his hotel is check out RWD to see what I have to say. And here it is:

Je suis sûr que le premier chose il fera lors du renvoi à son hôtel est lu RWD pour voir ce que je dois dire. Et, voila:

Dear Dylan/Cher Dylan,

Recently I have learned that begging is a very effective way to get my darling team to do what I desire. So, I'd like to get down on my knees and beseech you to play at least a year with the Bulldogs. You already made one very smart choice in coming to UMD instead of the Nazi Compound, and now you've got to make another smart choice. Camrose players are very successful at UMD, and they are well-loved by the fans. We are all so happy to have you, and can't wait to see you on that blue line in 98 days!

Récemment j'ai appris que prier est une façon très efficace d'obliger mon équipe chérie à faire ce que je désire. Ainsi, je voudrais obtenir vers le bas sur mes genoux et vous solliciter pour jouer au moins une année avec les Bulldogs. Vous avez déjà fait un choix très futé en venant à UMD au lieu du la soute des Nazis, et maintenant vous devez faire un autre choix futé. Les joueurs de Camrose sont très réussis à UMD, et ils sont adorés par les fans. Nous sommes tous si heureux de vous avoir, et ne pouvons pas attendre pour vous voir sur cette ligne bleue en 98 jours!


So, there's my feeling on that draft pick. Evidently WCH had no interest in what I had to say in his livechat...

Ainsi, il y a mon sentiment sur son choix. Évidemment WCH n'a eu aucun intérêt dans ce que j'ai dû dire dans son livechat…

24 June 2009

One Hundred Days of Solitude

Many years later, as she faced the firing squad, RWD was to remember that distant afternoon when her father took her to discover ice hockey.

It is way, way too hot here. I need hockey.

And we've still got 100 days to go.

I am trying, and I mean really trying, to find enough to say to keep RWD humming throughout the off-season. I can't promise, as I had a car that I tried to keep humming and it died when I was driving back to Illinois after UMD clinched 2nd place in the WCHA in 2004 (as if I needed to clarify the year). Anyway, it's extra-challenging when it is so hot out it feels as though my brain is being boiled. You don't even know what kind of twisted ideas I have for this site that never see the light of a computer monitor. You're already fairly familiar with the low-caliber crap generally posted here. Now realize I have written things worse than that. I know, it feels like a shadow just passed over your soul.

I promise you I have some ideas. None of them are news-worthy or particularly insightful to next year's team, but there is no red telephone on my desk wired directly to Coach Sandelin's office, so I'm at a bit of a disadvantage on trying to break any stories. Pretty much all summer is going to be Fun 'N' Games. We can all at least pretend to be on summer vacation, and this will be a nice break from the normal heavy-hitting journalism on here.

Somehow, someway, we'll make it through these sweltering weeks together. Before you know it, we'll be pulling out our jerseys, mittens, and snow tires. Keep checking the countdown at the bottom of the page and keep the faith!

22 June 2009

Highway 35 Revisited

The 2009-2010 schedule is out!

And has been for, like, a week. One of the great things about not writing a "newsy" blog is I don't have to write things as they happen, but rather when I feel like it. I can also write about my #1 favorite subject: ME!

Anyway, following in my usual tradition of color-coded posts using hideously clashing hues, here's my take on the schedule and probable attendance. Home games are in vomit and away games are in squash. I still haven't decided if I am going to be a Season Ticket Holder starting this year or next, but it's not like there's a problem.

10/3/2009 British Columbia (EX)
Yes, yes, definitely! I can't be held back. Plus I need to go up and do some recon for the following weekend.
10/9/2009 Lake Superior State
10/11/2009 Northern Michigan
This weekend is PEANUT BUTTER HJELLE TIME!!!!!!! Details to come! If you like fun, you definitely want to mark your calendars. And if you don't, please stay home. Going Friday, not Sunday.

10/16/2009 Minnesota State-Mankato
10/17/2009 Minnesota State-Mankato
Attending Saturday, Friday if I'm not working.

10/23/2009 St. Cloud State
10/24/2009 St. Cloud State
I might be able to go to both games, as it's a really easy drive, and I'm SURE the boys are hungry for revenge. Hopefully Brady can remain calmer than Al, and Campion will be reffing somewhere else. Actually, I hope that loser is reffing somewhere else EVERY WEEKEND. *Possible golden birthday/David Grun's first goal series*

10/30/2009 Clarkson
10/31/2009 Clarkson
Exciting Halloween series!! I think we'll definitely have to have a costume night. Also, home game + non con >= tUMD win! *Possible golden birthday/David Grun's first goal series*

11/6/2009 Colorado College
11/7/2009 Colorado College
Can't go. As much as I'd like to go to the Springs, I gotta spend one weekend at home. Gotta make the trip soon. I should make 14ers come with me!
11/13/2009 Michigan Tech
11/14/2009 Michigan Tech
SSPW, part III!!!! I'm not sure what's going to happen but it will be crazy and there is a serious bet between MEg and Biddco. This will be my first Tech game without Robby, though. I might cry.

11/20/2009 Minnesota-Twin Cities
11/21/2009 Minnesota-Twin Cities
Unacceptable for me to miss these games. Definitely will be there. I'm pretty sure that there will be at least a few Gopher fans that say "I hope that awful girl from last year doesn't come back." I'll haunt their dreams.
12/4/2009 North Dakota
12/5/2009 North Dakota
If Dirty goes, I'll try to go to at least one game, probably Saturday. Should be a slaughter. I mean, does anyone play for UND? I mean, anyone who doesn't have a rage disorder and isn't a poor imitation of his more talented brother?
12/11/2009 Denver
12/12/2009 Denver
Probably Saturday. Probably. Good memories of last year's Saturday series against Denver. And hey! No home game against Denver, where many teams have been massacred by the Pioneers and their racist mascot.

1/2/2010 Sheraton/TD Banknorth Catamount Cup (Vermont)
1/3/2010 Sheraton/TD Banknorth Catamount Cup (Vermont)
I think I might actually go to this. I haven't decided if I want to drive or fly. Mapquest says it takes 22 hours and 53 minutes to go through the U.S. or 26 hours and 5 minutes to go up through Canada. Driving what??? A moped??? RWD times: 18 hours or 16 hours, respectively. This all depends on if Inebriated Mike wants to drive with us.

1/8/2010 Colorado College
1/9/2010 Colorado College
Saturday is probable, although I might have to sit this one out if I've been in Vermont.

1/15/2010 Minnesota State-Mankato
1/16/2010 Minnesota State-Mankato
Family time! I'll probably get my cousins to go with. Should be able to make both games, whether we stay overnight or come back.
1/22/2010 Bemidji State
1/23/2010 Bemidji State
Friday, no. Not going to go to Buttmidji. Saturday, probably. I hope that crazy lady who was rubbing her butt on the glass whenever Bermidji scores is there again. I'll be ready with some sort of sign.
1/29/2010 Wisconsin
1/30/2010 Wisconsin
Argh. Wisconsin. We know how I feel about them. EXTREME HATRED, in case you forgot. Saturday, probably!

2/5/2010 Michigan Tech
2/6/2010 Michigan Tech
SSPW, PART IV??? Winter Carnival??? Houghton???? DEFINITELY GOING. This road trip has been highly anticipated since we discovered we were playing @ Carni. Expect many tPBers, young and old, attending this trip. Folks, you should go. But book your hotel rooms early! Don't be like CC, who had to stay 30 miles away! The MVP of Winter Carnival gets to kiss the Carnival Queen. I will kill her and take her place.

2/19/2010 North Dakota
2/20/2010 North Dakota
This might be the year, Dirty, HockeyMom, Sioux-cia (if you're in the lower 48), and creepy Brady Lamb Stalker. I need to hit up an army surplus store for a gas mask first.

2/26/2010 Minnesota-Twin Cities
2/27/2010 Minnesota-Twin Cities
Saturday only. FHG will make fun of me for this. And I will make fun of him for like, 200 other things. Like his MINNESOTA DULUTH keychain!!!! It'll be senior night, so I have to be there.

3/5/2010 Alaska Anchorage
3/6/2010 Alaska Anchorage
Ok. Only one of two series that I will definitely not attend. Sorry, Donald, but it's going to have to wait at least another 2 years. Biddco thinks he is going. I will believe it when I see it.

3/12/2010 WCHA Playoffs
3/13/2010 WCHA Playoffs
3/14/2010 WCHA Playoffs
I'm of course being hopeful by putting this in vomit, not squash. We are DEFINITELY GOING TO HOST A PLAYOFF SERIES. Guys, come on. Your seniors really wanted this. This is UMD's LAST CHANCE to host a playoff series in the DECC. We need it. Please. Remember how well begging worked? Well, I'm starting early!

3/18/2010 WCHA Final FIve
3/19/2010 WCHA Final Five
3/20/2010 WCHA Final Five
Of course. And I don't even have school that weekend! GLORIOUS!
3/26/2010 NCAA Regionals
3/27/2010 NCAA Regionals
3/28/2010 NCAA Regionals
Can they make it 2 years in a row???

4/8/2010 NCAA Frozen Four
4/10/2010 NCAA Frozen Four
If you guys make it, I will come. Imagine this: there will be more wins at the Frozen Four than the Lions will have all season!!!!
Hm. If I actually stick to the schedule, it make sense to buy Saturday tickets! Thanks, readers, for helping me make the decision!

19 June 2009


This weekend is Grandma's Marathon, and the RWD Empire wants you to know that DHG, Lord of tPB, is running in the half marathon. No one is more surprised than Doug Woog, who once remarked "There goes Tubby. He could use a few more laps around the rink."

Go DHG!!!! I wish you smooth strides and a strong kick at the end!

18 June 2009

O Captain! My Captain!

Over the years we have been together, my dear readers, I've been many things. Joker, smoker, midnight toker, and now bookie. That's right, I'm going to handicap the 2009-2010 UMD hockey captaincy for you. No, no need to thank me. I'm here to serve you.

(Other important news:
my Jacky and Fuzzy may be drafted! Ee!)

Note: I'm not going to distinguish between captains and assistant captains. Too lazy. Plus, UMD has had tri-captains, one captain and two assistants, and co-captains with no assistants in the past three years.

Drew Akins - 1:1
Drew's pretty a shoo-in for some sort of leadership role, and I'm pretty sure it would be the C. Drew stands up for his teammates, which sometimes gets him in a little bit of trouble, but at least he doesn't have rage blackouts like Zach Jones or attack mascots like Joe Finley; he regains control easily. He's won the heart of MeanEgirl, and a whole slew of creeps at USCHO can attest that is no easy task.

Jordan Fulton - 18:1
Jordy's a senior, which certainly give him an advantage, but I'm not sure. Rumors swirling that he might bolt for Calgary early have so far been incorrect, but they might affect the locker room's vote.

Trent Palm - 12:1
Palm's got more of a chance than Fulton as he is a defenceman, where the team isn't as deep. Palm could have red-shirted but gutted out the season as best he could, which I'm sure his teammates noticed. He's got a mean hip check, and I'm about 99% certain his brother dressed up as a gorilla at regionals.

Chase Ryan - 300:1
Well-liked by all of his teammates, not being on the ice and thus unable to fulfill many captain's duties makes the odds pretty long for Chase.

Rob Bordson - 100:1
Bordo had some ups and downs this past season, so he'll probably need another year before his chances improve.

Cody Danberg - 30:1
Cody's a hard worker on the ice, and I think he's a bit of a dark horse candidate, though we may need to wait til next year for a chance to see a letter on his chest.

Justin Fontaine - 5:1
After rocketing to WCHA stardom as a sophomore, The Fonz may be ready to step up as a leader. After all, he can score like mad on the power play and can start a jukebox without a quarter.

Chad Huttel - 75:1
The Hutt will need to crack the lineup consistently before he can seriously contend for a letter. He's been known to stand up for his teammates before, so I'm sure he has it in him to lead. Show us what you're made of this year, Chad!

Mike Montgomery - 50:1
Monty crossed over from foward to defenceman seamlessly, showing he was willing to do what the team needed. If he continues to show the defensive prowess he had last season, he'll take on a leadership role as a senior. This year? I doubt it.

Kyle Schmidt - 30:1
Smitty so willingly sacrificed his face for the good of the team, and he is also a supergenius. I believe captains should be strong academically as well as athletically, to set a good example for their teammates.

Jack Connolly - 50:1
My Sweet Jacky is already captain of my heart, but I think the team will go to the upperclassmen ranks this year. Junior and senior year, his odds will improve greatly.

Mike Connolly - 45:1
Shocking, I know, that I'd give him better odds than MSJ, but I was asking someone else (someone who knows the guys better than I do, meaning AT ALL) who they thought would be captains and MCON's name was mentioned.

David Grun - 250:1
Without very many games under his belt, Grun's got to get more experience at the collegiate level before he can expect a C or an A.

Brady Hjelle - 200:1
Brady will be setting the tone in goal for us, letter or no letter. I doubt he'll even be a C or A even as a senior, but he'll certainly be a leader on the team.

Scott Kishel - 180:1
I'm pretty sure Scott will be anchoring a PP unit this year, but I don't see a formal leadership role for him just yet.

Brady Lamb - 100:1
The odds that Brady will be a captain or assistant for UMD someday? Probably about 2:1. But for now, he gets an edge over Kishel simply due to playing time last year, but he'll have to wait his turn.

Travis Oleksuk - 100:1
I think it would be great for Oleksuk to be a captain someday! He's a legacy, after all. Did you know his dad ranks 9th in the NCAA in career power play goals? I just learned that now. T.O. doesn't need to focus on a captaincy right now. He needs to focus on having a breakout sophomore season.

Kenny Reiter - 275:1
If Hjelle's odds aren't that good, and he's looking to be our starter, then Kenny's odds can't be much better. The goalies just need to do their thing and keep each other sharp.

Aggregate odds: 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000:1
I guess anything's possible; it's the whole premise of the
Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. (Check it, there's even a sexy Fourier series!!)

13 June 2009

What Dreams May Come

Hola amigos, I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but hey, hockey's over. Well, now it's officially over as the Penguins have won the Stanley Cup, about which I did not really care. I watched the BU championship and then didn't watch any hockey until I kind of watched Game Seven.

First of all, this has nothing to do with the post forthcoming, but holy crap, I am a genius. I forgot that I had written
this in February:

In three weeks, when the dust has settled, I don't want to be picking through the wreckage of a season that could have been, eating crow for writing posts like this. Please, please, please, throw your girl a bone here (triple entendre, anyone?) and give me, along with the city of Duluth and the worldwide Bulldog nation, something positive to take away from this season other than "It's equal to or slightly better than last year." I know you guys have it in you; seniors, you know what it was like to be on a team heading nowhere at an all-out run and then turn it into a playoff upset and a Final Five appearance. This year's team is going somewhere at a trot or possibly a canter, and I would like to see something fun. A couple of wins at the X. A couple of wins at Mariucci in February... and then a couple more in March. I don't know. Get creative. Okay? Thanks.

Wow, damn, do I love these guys even more. Begging works! Unless you're trying to get someone to take you back.

Let's talk about the impending season of doom. I think about Bulldog hockey probably more often than is healthy in the off-season (partially because my co-workers discovered RWD and enjoy making fun of my zealotry) and the other night I was dreaming about it. Specifically about Brady Hjelle. Don't worry, sweetie, you were clothed. Anyway, I was dreaming about a game and somehow Brady kept making these UNBELIEVABLE saves. That is really the extent of the dream that I remember, although I am fairly certain this is not a dream, but a premonition.

+Mikey Seidel bringing his unique brand of mischievous hockey to tUMD.
+RWD correspondents from all over attending games (ahem, Tracy and Dawn).
+SSPW, part III.
+This year's sophomore class.
+Another set of players who have the same last name (though different spellings), play the same position, and I hope will have similar numbers.
+David Grun keeping #27 and getting his first collegiate goal on Oct 27th when I turn 27.
+Fonzie having a monster year.
+Playing at Tech for Winter Carnival!
+Road trippin'! Mankato, St. Cloud, Houghton, and of course Duluth.
+Rohlik didn't go to UNO.

-Trying to make it through this season with 1. good grades 2. my job and 3. many games attended.
-Whether we'll have enough experience on the blue line.
-80s mall bangs (in general).
-The DU Pioneers.
-Not finishing in the top 5 in the WCHA (again) and not making the Final Five.
-Special teams.
-Drinking way too much on the Drunk Hockey Walk.
-Trying to pick who My Guys will be.
-Dan Delisle panning out as well as Mike Curry.

~Bruce on the airwaves. Although I do enjoy sitting with him and the fam at games, especially when he's in one of his moods.
~MacGregor Sharp. I practically hyperventilated the other day realizing he'd no longer be on the ice for the 'Dogs.
~The road trippin' dads. Two dads had kids graduate. But... maybe they'll still come on the road?
~Inebriated Mike. One of my favorite people with whom to attend a game. Now who am I going to clutch in panic when games get stressful?
~Being Christine's stats slut, though I know she's still going to come to games.
~The incredible senior leadership we were so fortunate to have.

Lastly, in case you rely solely on RWD for your UMD Bulldog Hockey news (which is inadvisable), here's the fresh meat for 2009-2010:

F Mike Seidel
F Dan Delisle
F Keegan Flaherty
F Jake Hendrickson
D Drew Olson
D Dylan Olsen
D Wade Bergman
G Aaron Crandall