Bulletin

We interrupt my regularly scheduled homework/mass cramming for exams to bring you this really old news.

The WCHA end-of-season awards were announced before the Final Five. Jack Connolly was All-WCHA 1st team and Justin Fontaine was All-WCHA 2nd team. The other winnarz were not from tUMD and thus do not matter.

Additionally, tUMD's resident smarty-pantses were honored as members of the All-WCHA Academic Team. Players must have at least one year of residency at their school, must have a GPA > 3.0 for the previous two semesters, or have an overall GPA > 3.0. (Recall that the Scholar-Athletes were announced last month. The GPA cutoff there is 3.5.)

First-Timers
Drew Akins (Communication)
Jack Connolly (Undecided according to his tUMD bio, although I don't think that's true, someone* help me out here Communications)
David Grun (Business)
Brady Hjelle (Accounting)

Repeat Offenders
Rob Bordson (Accounting)
Justin Fontaine (Accounting)
Chad Huttel (Exercise Science)
Kenny Reiter (Finance)
Chase Ryan (Accounting)
Kyle Schmidt (Statistics and Actuarial Science)

Congratulations, everyone!

*ahem, someone, you know who you are Thank youuuu

I'm a Bee!

tUMD 3, Shame On Ice 0

I'm a little sad today after the United States' loss to the Canadians in the gold medal game. I was so pumped up after Parise tied the game and I really, really thought the U.S. could win it. I'm so proud to have those guys represent our country, though! They exceeded everyone's expectations.

Oh yes, the hockey game last night. I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well. Coming down with a cold or something. Blah. No, I'm not hungover. If only.

Yesterday's game was so lovely! I was really excited to 1. get mondo fantasy points and 2. see tUMD get a much-needed and much-deserved win to CLINCH HOME ICE FOR THE PLAYOFFS. Hjelle looked fantastic last night and came up with clutch saves when we needed them.

Let's not talk about the game. Let's talk about something else.

HOW I GOT MIKE SEIDEL'S GAME-WORN JERSEY.

The jerseys (which can be seen here) made the team look somewhat like bumblebees, which inspired the title. Yes, I know the song is terrible, but you better believe I was rocking out to it at the Sports Garden in my bee jersey. Also, I'm not sure why they decided to auction off the jerseys the same night they were being worn. Because, um, gross.

So, I went over before the game to put a bid on a few jerseys. Jacky's was already up to $600 at that point and really, I am weird enough, I cannot be the weird girl who paid $625 for his jersey and then has to go retrieve it and say BY THE WAY I ALSO MAKE UP CUTESY NICKNAMES FOR YOU AND PHOTOSHOP YOUR HEAD ONTO THINGS. No, that cannot happen. Also, please, why would I spend that much on a jersey when there are cheaper ones.

So I bid on Travis Oleksuk's and then I looked at Mike Seidel's and saw that his dad was the current winning bidder, and I wavered a moment before reminding myself that I am a terrible and heartless person and then outbid his dad and then went to my seat.

Just before the second period I went over to the bidding tables again to make another bid. I had been outbid on Oleksuk's and decided to go for Seidel's, where I had also been outbid.

Thus began the longest 15 minutes of my life.

The auction ended at the puck drop, and once the intermission began, the table was swarmed. There were a few people who gave up, but most people were crowded around the table, trying to find the sheet with the jersey that they wanted to bid on, or check on their bids, or find a new jersey if they had been outbid by too much.

It was pretty hilariously ruthless. My 8-year-old friend, who was bidding on Danberg's jersey, employed cuteness as a tactic. Some people just announced extremely high amounts they were willing to bid. I just yelled at people DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. I actually did have someone outbid me right in front of me, and then I picked up my pen (I BROUGHT MY OWN PEN) and outbid him by $50. POINT TAKEN. Fortunately that person ended up with a different jersey.

I was pretty much on the verge of passing out standing there guarding my bid. It seemed as though time was standing still, and at one point it sort of was, because The Aaaahj was looking at the scoreboard clock and it stopped moving. THAT WAS NOT COOL, SMITTY. NOT COOL. And then suddenly, miraculously, time expired, and the bidding sheets were swept away, and I WAS TRIUMPHANT. And sweating bullets from the body heat of people crowded around me. Argh.

After the game we paid for our jerseys (which took a long time because of some unpleasantness occurring in front of me) and then we got herded downstairs to some sort of reception area, which was kind of embarrassing because the players were all waiting in a line for us, and we had to pass them in the hallway and they got a good look at the psychos willing to fork over beaucoup bucks for their dirty laundry. Ha. And we all had these dorky signs like we were at the airport that said the name of our player.

Every account I heard said that the players were all very kind, very gracious and very friendly. I expected NOTHING LESS from our players and was presently surprised. I heard a lot of thank yous from the guys as I listened to the buzz in the room. Of course Mike was a very awesome guy, I know that My Guys are totally awesome peeps or else they would not be My Guys. I had him sign my jersey and asked jokingly if it was nice and sweaty for me. I was fortunate as the person next to me received a jersey that was practically dripping with perspiration. Mine was mostly dry. And also had the added bonus of keeping people away from me at the Garden because of its perfume. (Also probably because I was a weird girl in a jersey.) Rumor has it that I got my jersey for a song compared to Mike's RoughRiders jersey, which went for almost $1700. Then I stole a Sharpie marker and left. Because I am a ninja.

Great Hockey Minds

I will literally do anything to avoid doing more homework. Except, evidently, dismantling the Christmas tree. Sigh.

Thanks to a heads-up from Donald at the UAA Fan Blog, I learned the WCHA announced the 2009-2010 Scholar-Athletes. There are two separate kinds of academic recognition in the WCHA and I can't remember the name of the other kind, so someone help me out.

A Scholar-Athlete must first of all had at least one year at their current institution (meaning no transfers or freshmen) and must have maintained a 3.5 GPA either overall or for the previous 2 semesters or 3 quarters (there are still schools on quarters? DA is always asking me what I am taking "this quarter" and I'm always like "Dad, you were in college 30 years ago, no one has quarters anymore." Of course, the school I attend has trimesters, which are the wave of the future.)

tUMD's Scholar-Athletes are:
Rob Bordson (Accounting)
Brady Hjelle (Accounting)
Kenny Reiter (Finance)
Kyle Schmidt (Statistics and Actuarial Science)

Bordo, Kenny, and Kyle are all "repeat offenders." A standing ovation to these 4 guys, as those aren't blow-off majors either. I know this because the homework I am avoiding involves BOTH accounting AND finance. It does not, however, involve statistics, praise Parise.

Also, as a teaching point, an actuary uses math and statistics to assess financial and insurance risk. Hello to my auntie and my cousin, who are both actuaries.

For Auld Lang Syne

So, it's almost 2010, and I'm sitting in my basement watching Where The Wild Things Are, thinking about what I could post. (Yes, that would seem very sad and pathetic, but not more than usual. I'm not interested in going out on amateur night.) RWD readers, the smartest blog readers on the Interwebs, know that the decade doesn't end until next year, so there's no need for a sweeping look back. I was going to do a mid-season report, but that just seems so dull. However, did you know that we only have two more conference points than we did at last season? I did not. I found out at work today while wasting time.

Still, it's funny to think that ten years ago there were people wondering if the world as we know it was going to end. Hello, we still have two years left on that one. Ten years ago I spent New Year's in my basement (of course!) watching Labyrinth with two people I'm not even friends with anymore, I was a junior in high school and I had a boyfriend who has the same name as a former NFL quarterback. Scott Sandelin was still at UND. Jon Francisco was a freshman. Brady freaking Hjelle was probably playing mite hockey, or squirts, I don't know how these age groups work.

I watched the USA vs Canada World Juniors game tonight (in case you follow me on Twitter, you already know this) and though the Americans lost, it was still a heckuva game. It was fun to cheer for the talent of the WCHA, players who are normally Public Enemy #1 when they meet the Bulldogs. I watched about 30 seconds of the Wild game. Unnecessary to watch any more.

The kids in these tournaments (and really, they are kids) and in college hockey, as well as the adults in the NHL, give up their holidays and their time at home to play hockey. They're not alone, or making some great sacrifice; there are a lot of us who have to work on Christmas Eve, or New Year's Eve, or other holidays, who travel or move hundreds of miles away from our homes for our jobs. But we should all be so lucky to do so because we do what we love, not what we have to do to live.

I could do a cliched resolutions post. But really, there's nothing to resolve. Hockey is gloriously, exhilaratingly, apocalyptically enjoyable. What's better than that?

Safe travels to Vermont tomorrow!

A Brady Hjelle Christmas

Brady Hjelle: I think there must be something wrong with me, Jacky. Christmas is coming but I’m not happy, I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel. I just don’t understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents, and sending cards and decorating trees and all that, but I’m still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.

Jacky: Brady Hjelle, you’re the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem. Maybe RWD is right: of all the Brady Hjelles in the world, you’re the Brady Hjelliest.
















Brady Hjelle: Drew, you’re the only person I know who can raise a cloud of dust in a snowstorm.
















RWD: May I help you?

BRADY HJELLE: I am in sad shape.

RWD: Wait a minute, before you begin, I must ask that you pay in advance. Five cents, please. Boy what a sound! How I love hearing that old money clank! That beautiful sound of cold hard cash! That beautiful, beautiful sound: nickels, nickels, nickels! That beautiful sound of clinking nickels! All right now, what seems to be your trouble?

BRADY HJELLE: I feel depressed. I know I should be happy, but I’m not.

RWD: Well, as they say on TV, the mere fact that you realize you need help indicates that you are not too far gone. I think we better pinpoint your fears. If we can find out what you’re afraid of, we can label it. Are you afraid of referees? If you are, then you have officialphobia.

BRADY HJELLE: I don’t think that’s quite it.

RWD: How about pucks? If you are afraid of pucks, you have rubberdiskophobia.

BRADY HJELLE: Well, sort of, but I’m not sure.

RWD: Are you afraid of odd man rushes? If you are, then you have twoononeophobia. Maybe you have Mankatomavsophobia. This is fear of getting run over by opponents. Or, quintigoalophobia, which is the fear of opponents going five-hole. Or maybe you have Lordstanleysgameophobia. Do you think you have Lordstanleysgameophobia?

BRADY HJELLE: What’s Lordstanleysgameophobia?

RWD: The fear of hockey!

BRADY HJELLE: THAT’S IT! Actually, RWD, my trouble is Christmas. I just don’t understand it. I feel sort of let down.

RWD: You need involvement. You need to be involved in some real Christmas project. How would you like to be the coach of our Christmas game?

BRADY HJELLE: Me? You want me to be the coach of the Christmas game?

RWD: Sure Brady Hjelle! We need a coach. You need involvement. We’ve got referees, entertainment, bananas, everyone you need. We even have a Christmas queen.

BRADY HJELLE: I don’t know anything about coaching a Christmas game.

RWD: Don’t worry; I’ll be there to help you. I’ll meet you at the auditorium. Incidentally, I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want, I always get a lot of stupid toys or clothes or a bicycle or something like that.

BRADY HJELLE: What is it you want?

RWD: A national championship.
















RWD: All right, quiet everybody. Our coach will be here any minute and we’ll start practice.

Wade Bergman: Coach? What coach?

RWD: Brady Hjelle.

Drew Olson: Oh no, no, we’re doomed.

Wade Bergman: This will be the worst Christmas game ever.

RWD: Here he comes! Attention everyone. Here’s our director.
















BRADY HJELLE: Well, it’s real good seeing you all here. As you know we are going to play in the Christmas game. Due to the shortage of time, we’ll get right down to work. One of the first things to ensure a good performance is strict attention to the coach. I’ll keep my directions simple. If I point to the right, it means the right wing carries the puck. If I make a slashing motion across my throat, it means I think the ref has made a bad call. If I make a revolving motion with my hand, it means skate faster. If I spread my hands apart, it means make a long pass. It’s the spirit of the player that counts, the attention that they show their coach. Am I right? I said am I right?
















BRADY HJELLE: Stop the music! All right now, we’re going to do this game, and we’re going to do it right. RWD, get those jerseys and playbooks and pass them out. Now the equipment girl will be handing out your gear.
















RWD: You’re a forward.

MCON: Do forwards have naturally curly hair?

RWD: Drew Akins, you’re the goalie.
















Akins: In spite of my outward appearance, I will try to keep the crease clean.

RWD: Schmitty, you’re Derek Shepherd.
















Kyle Schmidt: Every Christmas it’s the same. I always end up being Derek Shepherd.
















RWD: Jacky! You have to get rid of that stupid blanket! And here, memorize these plays.

Jacky: I can’t memorize these plays. This is ridiculous.

RWD: Memorize them and be ready to play when I tell you to.

Jacky: I can’t memorize this so quickly. Why should I be put through such agony? Give me one good reason why I should memorize this.

RWD (showing her fist): I’ll give you 5 good reasons. 1.2.3.4.5.

Jacky: Those are good reasons. Christmas is not only getting too commercial, it’s getting too dangerous.

RWD: And get rid of that stupid blanket. What’s a center gonna look like with a stupid blanket like that?

Jacky: Well, this is one center that’s gonna keep his trusty blanket with him. You wouldn’t hit an innocent center, would you?

RWD: Okay, Mr. Coach, the cast is set. Take over.

BRADY HJELLE: All right, let’s have quiet, places everybody. Seidel, set the mood for the first period.
















BRADY HJELLE: Cut cut! No no no! Look, let’s rehearse the power play. Mikey--
















MCON: I can’t go on the ice, there’s too much dust. It’s taking the curl out of my naturally curly hair.

BRADY HJELLE: Don’t think of it as dust. Think of it as maybe the soil of some great past civilization. Maybe the soil of the ancient Duluth Curling Club arena. It staggers the imagination. He may be carrying the soil that was tread upon by Bill Watson. Or even Huffer Christiansen.

Akins: Sorta makes you wanna treat me with more respect, doesn’t it?

MCON: You’re an absolute mess. Just look at yourself.

Akins: On the contrary, I didn’t think I looked that good.

RWD: What about my part? What about the Christmas queen, hmm? Are you going to let all this beauty go to waste? You do think I’m beautiful, don’t you Brady Hjelle? You didn’t answer me right away. You had to think about it first, didn’t you? If you really had thought I was beautiful, you would have spoken right up. I know when I’ve been insulted! I know when I’ve been insulted!

BRADY HJELLE: Good grief. All right, let’s take it from the top again. Places. Puck drop.
















RWD: Brady Hjelle, isn’t it a great game?

BRADY HJELLE: That does it. Now look, if we’re ever to get this game off the ground, we’ve gotta have some cooperation.

RWD: What’s matter, Brady Hjelle? Don’t you think it’s great?

BRADY HJELLE: It’s all wrong.

RWD: Look Brady, let’s face it, we all know that Christmas hockey is a big commercial racket. There’s a big eastern bias, you know.

BRADY HJELLE: Well, this is one game that won’t be commercial.

RWD: Look, Brady Hjelle, what do you want?

BRADY HJELLE: We need a Christmas tree.

RWD: Hey, perhaps a tree. A great big shiny aluminum Christmas tree. That’s it, Brady Hjelle! You get the tree. I’ll handle this crowd.

BRADY HJELLE: Ok. I’ll take Jacky with me. The rest of you practice your line changes.

RWD: Get the biggest aluminum tree you can find. Maybe paint it pink!

Wade Bergman: Yeah, do something right for a change, Brady Hjelle.

BRADY HJELLE: I don’t know Jacky, I just don’t know. Well, I guess we better concentrate on finding a nice Christmas tree.

Jacky: I suggest we try those searchlights, Brady Hjelle.

Jacky: This really brings Christmas close to a person.

BRADY HJELLE: Fantastic.

Jacky: Gee, do they still make wooden Christmas trees?
















BRADY HJELLE: This little green one here seems to need a home.

Jacky: I don’t know, Brady Hjelle. Remember what RWD said? This doesn’t seem to fit the modern spirit.

BRADY HJELLE: I don’t care. I’ll decorate it, and it’ll be just right for our game. Besides I think it needs me.
















Mike Seidel: This is the music I’ve selected for the Christmas game.

RWD: What kind of hockey music is that?

Mike Seidel: Beethoven hockey music.

RWD: What has Beethoven music got to do with hockey? Everybody talks about how great Beethoven is. Beethoven wasn’t so great.

Mike Seidel: What do you mean, Beethoven wasn’t so great?

RWD: He never got his name on the Stanley Cup, did he? Have you ever seen his name on the Stanley Cup, hmm? How can you say a person is great who’s never had his name on the Stanley Cup?

Mike Seidel: Good grief.

Brady and Jacky come back with the little tree.

BRADY HJELLE: We’re back.

Drew Olson: Boy are you stupid Brady Hjelle!

Wade Bergman: What kind of a tree is that?

RWD: You were supposed to get a good tree! Can’t you even tell a good tree from a poor tree?

Drew Olson: I told you he’d goof it up. He’s not the kind you can depend on for anything.

Wade Bergman: You’re hopeless, Brady Hjelle.

MCON: Completely hopeless.

BRADY HJELLE: Rats.

RWD: You’ve been dumb before Brady Hjelle, but this time you really did it. What a treat.

BRADY HJELLE: I guess you were right, Jacky. I shouldn’t have picked this little tree. Everything I do turns into a disaster. I guess I really don’t know what hockey is all about. Isn’t there anyone who knows what hockey is all about?
















Jacky: Sure, Brady Hjelle, I can tell you what hockey is all about. Lights, please. And there were in the same country coaches, keeping watch, abiding over their teams by weekends, and lo the angel of the NCAA came upon them, and the glory of the tournament shone round about them, and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, fear not, for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is given this day in the city of Detroit a tournament, which is the Frozen Four. And this shall be a sign unto you, you shall find the teams with the best pairwise rankings meeting in the regionals. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of fans praising the hockey gods and saying glory to hockey in the winter and on earth peace and goodwill toward men. That’s what hockey is all about Brady Hjelle.
















Jacky's voice: For behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is given this day in the city of Detroit a tournament, which is the Frozen Four. And this shall be a sign unto you...

BRADY HJELLE: Jacky is right. I won’t let all this commercialism ruin my Christmas. I’ll take this little tree home and decorate it, and I’ll show em it really will work at our game. I’ve killed it. OH! Everything I touch gets ruined.
















JACKY: I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It’s not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love.

RWD: Brady Hjelle is a blockhead, but he did get a nice tree.
















Loo loo loo, loo loo-loo loo-loo, loo loo loo loo-loo loo loo.

BRADY HJELLE: What’s going on here?

Everyone: Merry Christmas Brady Hjelle!

It Was a Good Day

tUMD 2, Lucky Sons-of-you-know-whats 6

Yo. We have to keep it real up in this piece. Check ourselves prior to wrecking ourselves.

I'm feeling like ripping off a rapper tonight. Let's do this. The video has naughty words. Just sayin'.

Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
Big win from the 'Dogs, no smog
Got a lotta folks surfin' to my blog
I got my work on, but didn't stay long
Finally game time for the Bulldogs, gotta play strong
Hooked my plasma TV up to the B2
Got the home team call radio feed too
Game time is soon, countin' down to the clock stop
The centermen get set, time to take the puck drop
Huttel in the box for a trip
Didn't have to touch the guy, made himself flip
And everything is alright
Campion and Beaurline have got our backs all night
CC gets on the board from Mike Testwuide
Then in the box again, try to make 'em bleed
Get out the first only down by one
But we won on Friday, this is just for fun
Don't matter how we play on Saturday
Still in the game, today was a good day

In the second got a goal by Schmidt
Didn't even need the refs to go review it
Fans boo because the goal judge turned on the light
But CC high sticked and the Dogs gotta fight
Call's even, Hjelle gets roughing but of course he's not leavin'
Time to play Don't Stop Believin'
Give up a couple more goals, they got us runnin 'round
Knock em down on the ground
Shake em up, shake em up, shake em up, shake em
Pair off with a couple of Tigers and watch us break em
Get the face, face-washin', face-maskin'
Penalties even and we play the game awhile five on five
Because no more Tigers had to take a dive
Prosser froze the puck in the crease, but they let us play
Today was a good day

Third period starts up
Power play got nothin' so we don't miss the puck luck
Ref has his say, Lowery hits Akins on a breakaway
But he might not have scored anyway
So he puts both Drews in the box
CC gets a lucky shot, Dylan Olsen walks
Another penalty, penalty, penalty
Just after one gets free
Mike Seidel gets a goal
but we're running out of time to dig outta this hole.
Huttel goes crazy to get a spark
Probably gonna leave a mark, kicked him outta the park
But he's not banned for the next game
And the other guy got two minutes of blame
Refs ask Olsen and Akins to leave
Though it's for the best, we're our own worst enemies.
Campion gives us a few tweets
Power plays even up on the stats sheet
End the game with a hooking call on Deboer,
Thanks guys, but I don't think we need it anymore.
We never got started it's too late now,
We're gonna need those favors another day, anyhow.
Didn't even need the refs' help to throw the game away.
I got to say it was a good day.

Numbers tomorrow. Or something. Word to your mother.

Awwwww

tUMD 3, Distinguished Alumni of the Rhett Rakhshani Institute of Unsportsmanlike Diving 3

Hello, who can be mad at the refs when THE CUTEST FREAKING BABY IN THE WHOLE WORLD is decked out in UMD gear!!!! Observe.









Of course, this is not my baby, he is my cousin's, but OMFGBBQ he is so cute and wearing the Bulldog hoodie I sent him. Never mind that he lives in Rhode Island, I am starting the indoctrination soon. This baby's first word will be "Sieve" if I have anything to do with it. And his first sentence will be "OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" if his great-grandfather has anything to do with it.

Obviously this game ended up as the Penalty Pride Parade as we ended up registering 12 penalties. Warranted or not, it killed tUMD. I am really proud of the Dogs for surviving the death march Anderson and Shep2 forced them to walk. The game was not on B2 or TV and I wasn't there in person, so I can't comment on who was naughty and who was nice, but I can only hope these are the same old Dogs that are going to come out on Saturday smoking. I'm happy with a Friday night tie, as Friday night wins are hard to come by, and points in the National Hockey Center are about as rare as a St. Cloud State player staying on his skates if an opponent BREATHES near him.

PBHj had an assist tonight!!! And made 41 saves!!!! Brady, you are the only person holding the Team Cougar WCHA Fantasy Hockey Team together right now! Jacky, you are not helping. But I know you will be helping in the next game, so I'm ok.

Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 8 (But, can't be swept by SCCC!)
Points until we reach last season's total: 22! (Keep those road points comin'!)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 9
Brady Lamb: 1!!!! (On the board! Although Bruce thinks the goal should be Smitty's)
Mike Seidel: 0 (in Duluth)

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 2 (Sick tonight)
Dan Delisle: 1
Keegan Flaherty: 1 (W000t! Keegs!)
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Others: 0

Connollys
Jacky: 9
Mikey: 5! (He's comin'! He's comin'!)

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 0
Dylan: 2

Drews
Olson: 4
Akins: 4 (Now has as many points as penalty minutes!)

Moo!

tUMD 5, Purple People-Eaters 2

Gonna be a short post tonight. Mama needs her rest for a long day. I'm going to the Homecoming game, then Sammy's, then the hockey game, then general debauchery. I'm barely conscious as it is. First I had to dance to Party in the U.S.A. I have the best dance moves EVER, people. Except the Sprinkler is too challenging for me. Then I had to weather an assault from Biddco, as he tried to destroy everything purple I had. This included an INDIGO NOT PURPLE shirt, a purple blanket and my bag of toiletries which he assumed had to have something purple. Then he threw a box at me and the corner of it hit me in the back. Things were out of hand. Perhaps even bananas.

Awesome and glorious and fantastic three-period effort for tDogs in front of over 4800! With four FULL student sections, everyone standing!!

Special thanks to Jacky, Brady Hjelle, and Dylan Olsen for helping out Team Cougar, my fantasy team. No thanks to Mike Louwerse, but I am very cool with that!

All right, Numbers.

Wins until we reach last season's total: 9! (Conference win!)
Points until we reach last season's total: 25! (Yes!)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 7!!!! (WOWZA!!! And also many more chances that could have been!)
Brady Lamb: 0
Mike Seidel: 0

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 2! (Yes!)
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Others: 0

Connollys
Jacky: 7!
Mikey: 2! (SHORTHANDED GOAL!!!)

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 0
Dylan: 2

Drews
Olson: 4
Akins: 2
(somehow no Drews in the penalty box tonight. WEIRD!)

Last Night

tUMD 4, Essentially Canada 3

Yesterday was pretty much insane.

MEg and I headed up to Duluth at about noon after packing the PBHjT shirts that hadn't gone up to Duluth with Biddco last weekend. The ride up was nice, though the fall colors haven't peaked yet. Next weekend, maybe?

I FINALLY got my season tickets, though the only reason I did was because I went to the UMD ticket office to pick them up. I'm a season ticket holder, finally! W00t w00t!

In the final hours of our planning, we went over the cheer a few more times, packed up the shirts into fifteen grocery bags, made a sign for the shirts, and then loaded everything into Linnea's vehicle and headed down to the dreaded Little Angie's.

Biddco put on the banana suit in the DECC parking lot and the five of us hauled the bags inside, where I was to confront my worst fears. I had been in a state of inner panic for the last few hours wondering if the shirts were going to be confiscated. But then the first thing that happened as we walked in was the cop at the door bought a shirt, and we were in.

Once we got set up and students started trickling in, my amazing and fabulous friends went to work to pimp out the shirts any way they could. I have to take a moment to thank them: Zach, Lindsey, Linnea, Richie, Reign, Donna (not me), Adam, and of course MeanEgirl and Biddco. The PBHjT shirts were VERY popular, especially since we had an actual banana.

tUMD decided to raise the Final Five banner yesterday before the game, which was dumb because 1. people don't usually arrive too early on Fridays and 2. we did it against a non-conference opponent and they weren't even on the ice. They should have waited until next weekend and done it in front of Mankato State to rub their faces in it. I thought that was the point of a banner raising. Oh yeah, and also to applaud our team. The BEST part about it was the return of Matt Greer! They should have done it at intermission so more people would be there to applaud him!

The only part of PBHjT that was unsuccessful was doing the actual Peanut Butter Hjelle Time cheer. I'm not really sure why people were so averse to it. I mean, these are the same people who sang "The Wheels On Your House" against Denver. Since when did they get so picky about what cheers they would and would not do?

Justin Fontaine got things going in the first period about 9 minutes in, set up by My Sweet Jacky and Drew Akins. Drew on the power play spells good things for Team Cougar in WCHA fantasy hockey. On the next power play, Fonzie got another totally sick goal on an incredibly sweet setup from My Jacky and also Dylan Olsen, who is the first freshman to get a point! tUMD was rolling until some ill-timed penalties led to LSSU's first goal. LSSU scored with an extra attacker while already on the power play, which at first seemed very unfortunate, but actually just set up My Jacky to get a shorthanded goal! That was very exciting! And of course it was set up by Arthur Fonzarelli and a fresh from the penalty box Scott Kishel.

And thus ended the first period.

Obviously the reason they did the banner raising pre-game was because it was ALSO parents' weekend, and they brought out all the parents on the all-purpose red carpet. Some of us started a "Thank you parents" chant but it didn't last nearly long enough. Don't forget, folks, that our beloved Bulldogs are here thanks to the time, money, love, support, and superior genetics of their parents.

The second period was exciting only because former My Guy Rob Bordson got a goal!!! Fantastic for him. The last time Bordo had a goal was on my birthday in 2007. Getting out from under the burden of being My Guy probably helped him, as I know it's a lot of pressure.

The third period felt pretty flat, and the fans kind of slacked. I blame this on all the normal agitators who went to the Curling Club and didn't return until 5 minutes into the period. I know it's "cool" to try to see how much hockey you can miss in the CC, but the students need their leaders in the section! Lake Superior State brought the deficit within one, which made the game needlessly tense, but Hjelle was up to the task and protected the lead. Dan Delisle laid out a monster hit on a Laker player that registered a 5 on the Richter Scale.

All that is left is to take care of a demoralized Northern Michigan and we will continue our dominance in the Showcase Showdown!

On a side note, a group of us waited for Brady after the game to congratulate him (I know! So unlike me! Normally I would be as far away from the team as possible!!) and to put a face to the banana, which he thought was really funny. He is an incredibly nice guy and we had a nice conversation which mostly revolved around how Michigan Tech sucks.

I will not be at the game on Sunday as it's too much of a stretch to make it up there in time, but t-shirts will STILL be available in case you were unable to pick yours up last night.

Bulldog hockey is back. HALLELUJAH!

Tweet Tweet!

Yes, I'm still alive. Well, barely, I have a crummy cold that has left me down for the count.

Tomorrow is PEANUT BUTTER HJELLE TIME!!!!! so I'll be in Duluth. Don't forget, we've got t-shirts for sale for $10. All the cool kids are wearing them! Tomorrow they are also raising our Final Five Championship banner, which is exciting!

I will be attempting to use Twitter during the game, although there will be A LOT going on, so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to comment.

Lake Superior State sucks and I will not accept a tie. The 'Dogs should be coming out amped up and ready for hockey that counts. Plus they will have had time to practice and get things organized.

Also, because nothing motivates like a good fight montage:

Practice Makes Perfect

All right, people. I know that I post a lot about driving. I just spend a lot of time in my car during hockey season. Unfortunately I was not supposed to today. But I got lost driving home before the game. Yes, in the metro area I've lived most of my life, but seriously... I... ugh. Think of every swear that you know. Now imagine that there are about 30 more that you don't know. I used all of those words. Like, even a sailor would put a bar of soap in my mouth.

So I missed 1 period and I missed one of my Jacky's goals. I'm sure his Spidey senses told him I'd missed it, because he went right out and got another one. Rumor has it he should have gotten the first and second assists on his own goal because of how hard he worked. I would not know this, because even if I HAD been home on time, stupid B2 was not working. SO STRESSFUL.

Peanut Butter Hjelle and E-Z Reiter combined for a shut-out. Supposedly Kenny only made 7 saves, but it sounded like he played superfantastic. And PBHj just gave a HUGE jolt of momentum to the Peanut Butter Hjelle Time Scorched Earth Campaign. So did Bruce Ciskie, by mentioning it on the air. Thank you Bruce! And welcome back, of course!!!

Arthur Fonzarelli also had 2 goals. One was short handed and assisted on by M-CON (I am loving the idea of the uber-aggressive PK) and Chad Huttel! And the other was assisted on by Jacky and by Jordy (remember? We're calling him Jordy) Fulton.

Are you ready for some practice Numbers? Here we go:

Wins until we reach last season's exhibition total: done!
Points until we reach last season's exhibition total: also done!

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 3
Brady Lamb: 0
Mike Seidel: 0

Freshmen
Everyone: Zip-a-dee-doo-dah

Connollys
Jacky: 3
Mikey: 1

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 0
Dylan: 0

Drews
Olson: 2
Akins: 0 (Now, come on, Drew. This is unacceptable. NO penalties? Muttsdrool was lonely without you.)

On Notice
No one! Let's stay that way for real!

Hockey Eve

I dwell in Possibility--
A fairer House than Prose--
More numerous of Windows--
Superior--for Doors--

Of Chambers as the Cedars--
Impregnable of Eye--
And for an Everlasting Roof
The Gambrels of the Sky--

Of Visitors--the fairest--
For Occupation--This--
The spreading wide my narrow Hands
To gather Paradise--
Emily Dickinson

I'm ready for this season to start. The Twins have been stressing me out long enough; I'm ready for a new kind of stress. I'm not going to be able to make the game (too much to do to prepare for Peanut Butter Hjelle Time) and so we're going to hook up the B2 feed to our television. Exciting!

The t-shirts have arrived at my house, by the way, and they look awesome. Please let me know if you would like one!

It sounds as though all 3 goalies will be playing this year, so we'll get our first look at Aaron Crandall, and I think also our first look at Kenny Reiter, I believe. Brady will play too, but of course it's not OFFICIALLY PBHjT until FRIDAY. It also sounds like we'll get some long looks at the new guys as well as guys who didn't play much last year.

STILL no roster for UBC. HOW am I supposed to make fun of their names and find out if there are any 30-year-olds on the team without the roster?? I hate them already.

Let's shoot for 10 goals, guys! I feel that's within range.

Goal Oriented

Before we begin, as a public service announcement, please people. Never use the non-word "orientated." EVER.

A few times when I was in school my teachers would have me write down my goals for the year at the start of the semester. When I was in elementary school it was suck up things like "Get everything right on my tests." I succeeded. In junior high they were more sarcastic like "Don't be stupid" or "get a boyfriend." Again, success. In high school when I took the PSATs I wrote on my answer booklet (which I would get back after I got the results of my test a few months later) "If you don't get National Merit honors, you might as well kill yourself." And I'm alive, so, again, success!

I'm good at setting goals, as you can see. So, AS ALWAYS, I'm here to help tUMD players set some achievable goals for the season! Let's go!

Drew Akins
Take only good penalties. I know you can't resist, but please, either 1. prevent goals or 2. emasculate opponents when you take penalties. Make them useful!

Chase Ryan
Play in some games! Maybe just a couple. I would totally cheer so hard for you. Biddco would be overcome with glee.

Travis Oleksuk
Get a goal EARLY. I mean, I know you're going to score a goal this season, many goals in fact, but get one the first game and get it over with. Then destroy all opponents.

Brady Hjelle
Make PBHjT a HUGE success by getting a shutout, or at the very LEAST, a win. No more of this tying LSSU to start the season. I WANT A WIN.

Jordan Fulton
Do what MacGregor Sharp did last year. You're talented. You're going to be on a great line, I'm pretty sure. And this is what's known as a "contract year." So have on. Beersong thinks you will.

Rob Bordson
End your exceptionally long pointless streak. And try not to look so sulky all the time.

Brady Lamb
Shoot the puck so hard it goes through the back of the net. Like Mike Eaves thought Tom Gorowsky did when Stalock fell down in that UW game. But Goro had just missed.

Mighty Midgets (Jacky, MCON, Wade Bergman, Huttel)
Play (as you three veterans always do) like you're 10 feet tall and bullet proof. Jordan Baker told me it was great to be short. And he's shorter than all of you!

Dan Delisle
Check someone so hard they fall into their own bench.

The rest of you? Uhhh... just do your best. Or even better. If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything*.


*That's good advice, Marty.

Requiem for a Season

Blogger has this feature where I can label my posts, which is a handy way of organizing them. Then all a reader has to do if they want to, say, read everything I've written about Jack Connolly, they can just click on the Jack Connolly label and get hit full blast with craziness. It's very handy.

The labels are pretty discreet, so I don't know if any of you noticed, but somewhere between Thursday and Friday we reached a point of inflection, where the Off-Season label dropped off and the very first Sixth Season label appeared in its place.

Before looking to the future, let's travel back to last season.



Yes, it really happened. No, I still can't believe it. Yes, I still get chills.

The first game of the West regional was one of the greatest days of my life. The Final Five championship would have been another of those days had I not been in the midst of my final exams. But the regional was incredible, not just because of the game's outcome, but the entire experience. I'd say the planning and execution of the signs and the togas and the cheers/chants is what ultimately inspired us to do Peanut Butter Hjelle Time!!! (It is only properly punctuated with three exclamation points.) A little organization and planning can go a long way toward increasing the atmosphere at a game, and if UMD isn't going to promote their own product, someone has to.

The last season was really a turning point for RWD. It was the first season I was able to make it to a majority of games, so it changed the way I was able to experience the games. In years past I'd only been able to listen to the games on the radio or sometimes not at all. I made 23 games last season and I am pretty certain I caught every other game, whether it was on B2 or just the radio. I know it seems like I have no life, but I work over 40 hours a week and have school for another 8-12, so I just have no social life.

Which isn't entirely true, because I met a lot of incredible people last year. UMD has amazing fans, and I'm not discounting the people I have met in seasons past, but the friends I've made over the past year have augmented the already awesome Bulldog hockey atmosphere. I don't want to name names because I don't want to leave anyone out, and like I said, I don't want to detract from the folks I've known for years. I don't know the guys on the ice, and they don't know me, and it's partially by design and partially by accident, and they're only there for four years, tops. I'll be able to come to Bulldog games in 10 years with a lot of the same people and we can laugh about how we KAWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!d at the Miami band or when one of Mitch's Misfits told Biddco he sounded like an anorexic dog.

I don't know how last season can be topped. I mean, other than the obvious NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!!! Some of you who voted in the first of my trio of polls the other night abstained from the second and third, I noticed. (FYI, it appears Keegan Flaherty is the most highly-anticipated non-Dylan Olsen freshman, with every guy receiving at least one vote. Antti Miettinen and Chase Ryan are tied in the Biddco Dead Ringer poll.)

I do know that a lot of guys are gone, and they took a lot of offensive firepower and defensive prowess. But they left their legacy. Those guys were fighters. As freshmen they willed a 9th place team to the Final Five and as seniors they battled to a Final Five championship and an NCAA win. Do you think the remaining guys on the team didn't notice? Or participate? The seniors that left came from a class that had to mature early, and we've got another group of freshmen and sophomores who will also have to.

What the senior class has reminded me, and what I hope they have also imparted to all of you, is to never give up on this team. More than any other college hockey team, UMD has surprised and overachieved. One of the hardest things about rooting for a team that's not a perennial powerhouse is remaining hopeful despite game after game and season after season of disappointment, but we simply must keep believing the next crazy win is a week or a day away. Negativity is a plague that can decimate a fan base, and we can't afford to see that at UMD. Not after last season, not with the new season coming, and not as long as we have a team on the ice who play their best and give it all they've got and wear their jerseys with pride and respect.

There are 18 guys on this team who were a part of the team last year and had a hand in the successes (yes, all of them, whether they were scoring with 42 seconds left in the Princeton game or jostling for a spot in the lineup, everyone contributed) and I'm sure they are pretty certain they're going to have a great year. I'm ready to see who is going to be the next MacGregor Sharp, who tripled his point outcome. I'm ready to see PBHj continue the goaltending excellence UMD has enjoyed for the better part of a decade. I'm ready to see Brady Lamb or Scott Kishel take the same strides Oberg did from freshman to sophomore year (although thankfully neither will have to break a leg in the process.)

I love to think about all the craziness from last year, but I've got to start looking ahead to this season, which is SEVEN DAYS AWAY!

NUM3ER5

The advent of The Numbers was first of all to track who had been sucking lately. If people sucked enough, they got On Notice. And it was also to track how My Guys were doing. But the best thing about the recurring feature is on those days when I'm too tired/drunk/paralyzed with rage to post, there's something to put up.

This year I'm going to expand upon the Numbers, as well as have a box in the sidebar for them. Maybe.

Here's what's the same:
1. Wins/points until we surpass last season's total
2. My Guys competition
3. Freshman competition
4. On Notice

Here's what's new:
1. Connolly vs. Connolly, points-wise
2. Olsen vs. Olson, points wise
3. Drew vs. Drew, penalty minutes-wise

Some of these might be a little unfair (please, Drew has made an office out of the penalty box. He sharpens pencils for the scorekeeper and has an I Heart My Yorkie coffee mug and a framed photo of MEg in there.) but it's kind of fun that there are so many repeated names. I can pretty much assume the next recruit UMD signs is also going to be named Brady Hjelle. But he'll be a centre.

T-shirts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just in time for the end of New York Fashion Week, THE PEANUT BUTTER HJELLE SHIRTS ARE READY FOR ORDER!!!!!!!!

They are $10. SO CHEAP! SO AMAZING!

They DO NOT have anything on the back. No date, no PBHj w/a hockey stick. We would not have been able to sell them for $10 if we had had them on the back.

Easiest way to order is through PayPal. Send me your email address, size, and quantity. I will send a request for payment through PayPal. Until you pay, your shirt is not really yours. If you really need to pay some other way we can figure it out.

Pickup will be at the game on Oct 9th. We will be there bright and early. Biddco will be dressed as a banana. It should be easy to find.

If you live in Duluth but will not be at the game or want it early, arrange w/Biddco. (Join the Facebook group or tUMD Penalty Box to do so)
If you live in the Cities and can't make the game or want it early, arrange w/me (email!).
If you need it shipped we'll have to figure something out.

You can order by emailing me (runwiththedogs[at]hotmail[dot]com) or sending me or Biddco a private message on Facebook or on the Penalty Box.

First come, first served, so let us know AS SOON AS POSSIBLE what your order will be.

Dream Team

"There is no team like the best team, which is our team right here! We will show you, we're the best team of the very little league this year!" (from You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown)

Here's how the draft washed out. I made one mistake in that I totally forgot Jordan Schroeder was still available when I had my first pick; and I accidentally picked Ben Blood even though he sucks, but that was only because I had him graded a D but color-coded orange, which was the color for Bs. Eek. I dropped him immediately after the draft and replaced him with Drew Akins. We drafted 7th out of 7.

TEAM COUGARS:
Brady Hjelle, UMD
Patrick Wiercioch, DU
Joe Colborne, DU
Jack Connolly, UMD
Dylan Olsen, UMD
Mike Louwerse, MSUM
Brett Olson, MTU
Nick Leddy, UMTC
Tommy Grant, UAA
Drew Akins, UMD
William Wrenn, DU
Austin Lee, MSUM
Michael Davies, UW
Kane Lafranchise, UAA
Malcolm Gwilliam, MTU
Jordy Murray, UW

Here are the other guys, in draft order. I won't reveal their identities, though they are free to identify themselves.

#1
Marc Cheverie, DU
Garrett Raboin, SCSU
Garrett Roe, SCSU
Kael Mouillierat, MSUM
Brendan Smith, UW
Drew Shore, DU
Luke Salazar, DU
Jake Marto, UND
Billy Sweatt, CC
Ben Street, UW
Matt Donovan, DU
Kevin Murdock, MSUM
Brett Bennett, UW
Craig Smith, UW
Jared Festler, SCSU
Lee Baldwin, UAA

#2
Brad Eidsness, UND
Ryan Lasch, SCSU
Cade Fairchild, UMTC
Jay Barriball, UMTC
Blake Geoffrion, UW
Danny Kristo, UND
Deron Cousens, MTU
Dan Dunn, SCSU
Zach Budish, UMTC
Rylan Galiardi, MSUM
Jacob Cepis, UMTC
Joe Howe, CC
Justin Schultz, UW
Paul Phillips, DU
Rylan Schwartz, CC
Seth Helgeson, UMTC

#3
Alex Kangas, UMTC
Justin Fontaine, UMD
Rhett Rakhshani, DU
Mike Connolly, UMD
Kevin Clark, UAA
Jake Gardiner, UW
Gabe Guentzel, CC
Aaron Marvin, SCSU
Geoff Irwin, MSUM
David Fischer, UMTC
Jordy Christian, SCSU
Kris Fredheim, CC
Andy Bohmbach, UW
Nils Backstrom, UAA
Kent Patterson, UMTC
Josh Lunden, UAA

#4
Mike Lee, SCSU
Anthony Maiani, DU
Kurt Davis, MSUM
Derek Stepan, UW
Jason Gregoire, UND
Ryan McDonagh, UW
Brett Hextall, UND
Jordan Baker, MTU
Curtis Leinweber, UAA
Mike Cichy, UND
Ben Hanowski, SCSU
Nate Prosser, CC
Jon Olthius, UAA
David Toews, UND
Nicholas Rioux, SCSU
Mario Lamoureaux, UND

#5
Bryce Christianson, UAA
Jordan Schroeder, UMTC
Chay Genoway, UND
Tony Lucia, UMTC
Aaron Ness, UMTC
Mike Hoeffel, UMTC
Kyle Ostrow, DU
Drew Dobson, MTU
John Mitchell, UW
Jordan Fulton, UMD
Stephen Schultz, CC
Sam Lofquist, UMTC
Trevor Hunt, UAA
Ben Grotting, UW
Brad Malone, UND
Jesse Martin, DU

#6
Tyler O'brien, CC
Chris VandeVelde, UND
Ryan Flynn, UMTC
Tyler Ruegsegger, DU
Darcy Zajac, UND
Patrick Johnson, UW
Zach Harrison, MSUM
Brandon Vossberg, DU
Mike Testwuide, CC
Andy Sackrison, MSUM
Corey Fienhage, UND
Channing Boe, MSUM
Derrick Lapoint, UND
Andreas Vlassopoulos, CC
Evan Trupp, UND
Joe Gleason, UND

TEAM COUGARS for the win!

Dos and Don'ts

Roster pix are up!!

It's like getting the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is for men. Kind of. Not really.

I'm sorry, but UMD's site doesn't let me link to the pix, which is very unfortunate.

DO: look much more grown up than last year. (Brady Hjelle)

DON'T: get rid of your awesome facial hair! (Brady Lamb)

DO: wear stylin' pinstripes. (a lot of guys)

DON'T: have a crooked tie/shirt collar. (Jordan Fulton and Brady Hjelle)

DO: wear a pink tie and a big smile! (David Grun)

DON'T: wear exactly the same thing as Rob Bordson. (Jake Hendrickson)

DO: get a haircut so that I can't graft your hair onto anyone else's head. (Mike Connolly)

DON'T: refuse to cut your hair even when the team has awesome mohawks. (Mike Montgomery)

DO: make your hair at least slightly less peroxide-brassy. (Rob Bordson)

DON'T: have frosted tips. You are not Ryan Seacrest. (Justin Fontaine)

DO: use an appropriate amount of hair gel. (Drew Olson)

DON'T: let your mom cut your bangs over the kitchen sink!!! (Jack Connolly)

DO: get a nice hunky summer tan. (Chad Huttel and Scott Kishel)

DON'T: use tanning oil to slick your hair straight back. (Dylan Olsen)

DO: smile and show your cutie dimples. (Kyle Schmidt)

DON'T: look so sad! (Dan Delisle)

DO: be a majorly hot hottie. (Mike Seidel)