The Gauntlet: The Lite Version

I don't actually know anyone from Bemidji who blogs or is a fan, other than The Hottest Girl in Alary's, but she has been converted to a 'Dogs fan, so this week's The Gauntlet features yet another notorious USCHO poster, DrunkHockeyGuy. Penalty Box Captain, UMD Fan Extraordinaire, and First Class Drinker. This is not your typical The Gauntlet, because he's not a member of the enemy fanbase, but here's the interview. Also, the interview is short because Mrs. DHG needed the computer, so he had to go.

RWD: You founded the Penalty Box while you were in school, right?

DHG: True. [This makes it seem like he is taking a lie detector test or something, but ok.]

RWD: How did you get it started? what was it like to start out with? Just you and Beersong yelling stuff at games?

DHG: Actually I didn't meet Beersong until my 1st of 2 senior years.

RWD: Really? I wouldn't have guessed.

DHG: The first three years we were just a student section that had foul mouths and only had about 100 students at the games. I was always loud, and after my sophomore year, I decided to clean the language up due to some little kid asking me for my autograph. [Here's some necessary DHG background for you people.] I started college in the fall of 1999 and graduated the spring of 2004, so I was there 5 years, not the 8 people like to say. [Exaggeration is how legends are born.] So the first 3 years were just me and some guys I knew from [Duluth Central] high school. We hated each other in high school and started going to games together and became best friends. From there I met Sando and his roommates at games my sophomore year. [In case you were unaware, Sando is another Penalty Box original.] Another tidbit to throw in: I had only drank 4 times in my life before I turned 21, and got the nickname Drunkhockeyguy after the 1st game of the year when I was 100% sober. They figured I was drunk because I was so vulgar. So about a month into the hockey season I figured I had better live up to the name.

RWD: It's obviously been expensive for you to be a fan, going on all those road trips. What's the best place to go on a road trip?

DHG: Wow, that is a tough one. I have been everywhere except CC and UAA, so I am pretty well versed. I would say my favorite driving trip would be Mankato, for several reasons. Mankato is where the Penalty Box was officially founded, it is where we met Beersong, and the bar Chevy's we go to and Mettler's (the nudie bar next door) are great. We met the bartenders and they are the owners sons, so they look forward to seeing us every year. On top of all that, they serve booze in the arena, which is 522 steps from the hotel and bar we stay at, and us UMD fans usually own their rink.

RWD: I have been asked to go down to mankato, with the promise of booze at the arena, but I can't make it. What's your favorite single road trip?

DHG: Denver, the year of the Frozen 4 run. 6 of us drove 18 hours out there. We got to the hotel at 2pm Thursday. We pulled in right as the team bus from the airport drove in. They had only flown for 2 hours. Beersong, Heiz, and myself got pretty lit at the bar that night and a certain UMD coach, no names of course, picked up our entire tab. We ended up sweeping Denver. They pulled Berkhoel in the 2nd period of Friday night's game and he broke his stick on the net and skated backwards staring us down the whole way to the bench. He wanted to kick my [badonkadonk] at the bar Saturday night. I guess Berkhoel got the last laugh though, [ILLEGITIMATE CHILD]!

RWD: What was your favorite moment as a fan?

DHG: My claim to fame had to be my freshman or sophmore year, (it is all a blur). We used to be on the redline in section 14. The penalty box was right below us. So Dany Heatly of Wisconsin, now of the the Ottawa Senators was in the box with the 'Dogs up 2-1 with 3 minutes to play. I ran down to taunt him and he UNLOADED an entire water bottle on my face. He then came out of the box and scored the game tying and winning goals in the next 2 minutes. As he scored the game winner he skated by me and waved. I gave him the international signal for hello!

RWD: Dany Heatly isn't all there upstairs. One of my friends had a class with him. She said he used to rock out to music... but wasn't wearing any headphones. Let me ask you about what I'm sure is one of your low points as a fan.. the "over-rated" incident.

DHG: Yes, this was disappointing. I will stand firmly to this day that what was taking place on the ice that night and what we could all see was going to happen the rest of the year was disgusting. The smart thing would have been to just boo, not cheer, or just leave. Instead in a drunken haze someone said in my ear "We are overrated," so I stupidly start chanting it and of course plenty joined in. I do believe as a paying fan I have the right to voice my displeasure, but as the hardcore fan that I am that wasn't the way to voice it.

RWD: I have always been impressed that you called the pregame show to apologize.

DHG: I personally sent an email to the coaching staff and the entire team. One of the players emailed me back telling me they were pissed but would get over it in time.

RWD: so it really had an impact on the team?

DHG: Well, they were kinda pissed but they got over it.

RWD: That was back in the Kerry Rodd days. Now we have Bruce. Whom do you like better?

DHG: To be honest, I was a fan of Kerry Rodd. I think Bruce does a great job, but you have to remember for 6 years when we couldn't see the game live it was Kerry we heard. So I associate Kerry Rodd's voice with UMD hockey. It is like having someone other than Marv Albert calling games for the Knicks or Bulls. Whatever team he does. [That would be the Knicks, although evidently he doesn't announce for them anymore. I love you, Wikipedia!] Plus, Bruce brings a little too much of USCHO humor to the mic with him. LOVE YOU BRUCE! That and Kerry Rodd was known for giving me a heart attack. You would have thought the 'Dogs scored on every shot they took.

RWD: Oh, believe me, I know. Kerry cracked me up. Also, I liked the radio then because Rik Jordan was always with him, and because they had postgame interviews and "fan in the stands." Another commentator you get along SO well with is Doug Woog. What is the story between you two?

DHG: Well, that dates back to my sophomore year. I ran a lap and he said "There goes Chubby again. He could use a few more of those goal laps." So I saw him in between periods and gave him [heck]. He offered to have me up in the booth for a segment to make me feel better. We were winning 6-1 at the time and I replied "No, I would rather be down here watching us kick your [badonkadonk]." So we have had a fun back and forth thing now on PA and Dubay every year.

RWD: Excellent.

DHG: I suppose I better start answering thse a little quicker, my wife is on my [badonkadonk] right now.

RWD: Oh, sorry.

DHG: Women, can't live with them, pass the beer nuts. [Uhh, sure...]

RWD: Okay, who are your favorite players? All time and current?

DHG: Ahh, great question. Well my favorite personality is Bill Watson. I think that might have had something to do with his drunk [badonkadonk] in Boston at the INCH party leaving me 10 messages singing the beersong every [darn] time. My favorite players are Drew Otten and Junior Lessard. I loved watching Lessard, and Drew and I met the first day of school. We were assigned seats next to each other in Jazz Studies. Drew and I have become pretty good friends. He was a groomsman in my wedding this summer as I was in his last summer. [No need to ask the "Is there a Mrs. DHG?" question.]

RWD: Oh, so you were friends outside of hockey.

DHG: Yeah, we actually partied a few times, and then the first hockey game I saw a player named Otten. I had no idea he played hockey.

RWD: What about on the current team?

DHG: I would say my current favorites would be 1A) Mason Raymond for obvious reasons and B) Andrew Carroll. I am a fan of blue collar hockey. I also love when Stalock comes out of the net and people are yelling at him to get back in the net. That is great.

RWD: I heard Mason Raymond has 2 speeds: walk and kill.

DHG: Yeah, I also heard that this is Mason Raymond's world and we are all just living in it. Hail Mason Raymond, king of all that is good.

RWD: So what's this team gotta do to get us some wins this year?

DHG: Start scoring some goals and get confidence. As bad as the D has played, we still aren't giving up a ton of goals. They just need to start putting the puck in the net. Some want to blame the coach. He is somewhat to blame, but it isn't like these guys aren't getting chances. They just are missing when the chances are there.

RWD: [About this weekend's road trip:] What's so great about the Keg 'n' Cork?

DHG: I guess it is the only bar we have found in Bemidji.

RWD: zing!

DHG: They have a drink called Combats as well. It has about 8 shots in it and they top if off with beer. It will MESS you up.

RWD: Holy Mother.

DHG: Yep. And the bartender was a racked out boombalatie

RWD: Let's say a fan wanted to buy you a drink. What are you asking for?

DHG: Windsor Diet, light on the diet, I am diabetic... Ok, I am not diabetic, plus diet coke has no sugar, I just want more booze.

RWD: Do you drink differently pregame? Or after a win vs. after a loss? I mean, different drinks, not volume consumed.

DHG: Not really. That is our motto, win or lose we booze. I drink whatever is going that night. Sometimes it is beer, other times it is booze, and usually jag bombs.

RWD: [The Crazy Canuck] said something about the Three Wise Men?

DHG: Gross.

RWD: He said you guys drink them! The liar!

DHG: What a [illegitimate child], he told the bartender to by us a tough shot, so he ordered them. Yes, we drank them, because he bought them, not out of wanting to.

RWD: Ohh. I would pass on the tequila. I guess he's trying to teach us to drink like Canadians. But I guess being a Canadian is motivation to drink more.

Well, there you have it, the DHG interview. That's all for now, folks. Cheer loud on Friday, because I'll be working long after the game ends. Bleccch.