The Social Contract

According to the scholarly John Locke, all of us ought to exist in what he called "the state of nature," where everyone is happy, reasonable, and tolerant. Everyone should be equal and independent, with a right to life, health, liberty, and possessions. That sounds like a lot of fun, doesn't it?
However, this is the real world. We don't live in an utopic society. There are people who are mean, malicious, and like to check from behind into the boards. Locke's solution was to enter into a social contract, to protect people from those meanies.

So, what's the whole point of this philosophizing non sequitur? It's this site. It's... it's... well, it's anarchy. And not everyone here is basking in the glow of the state of nature, that's for darn sure. So, it's time I went up on the mountain and laid down some commandments. Ten, to be exact.

I. This is a fun site. Don't harsh on the buzz.

II. Not everything on this site is "true." Not every opinion I have is "informed." But that's just semantics.

III. If I want to be ridiculously biased in favor my team, if I want to wear maroon and gold colored glasses, if I want to tirelessly defend Mike Curry no matter what he does, I will.

IV. Though a blog is a glacier on the pinnacle of self-absorption, there won't be much personal content here, at least in relation to my day-to-day life. No posts solely about my cat, my plans to conquer the planet, or my touch of the rheumatis'. If I do mention anything off-topic, it'll be as an aside in a hockey-related post.

V. I will never insult another blogger on this site. If I've got something mean to say, I'll come to your house and say it with a flaming bag of cat poo. Therefore, comrades, if you're offended by something I've said, I didn't mean it. I promise!

VI. I will not, however, link to anyone whose site is overly political, vulgar, or insulting to the team or to me personally. My grampa reads this site, and he told me he doesn't want to see any of that crap. You'd do well to listen.

VII. I won't delete any comments, unless they're solely capitalistic in nature. Don't get me wrong, I'm a red-blooded, money-hungry capitalist, just like any good American, but don't post your mortgage quotes here, bucko. [Edit 2/28/11: Don't bother commenting if you are mean-spirited, overly vulgar or harassing. Remember Commandment #1.]

VIII. There will be no RWD schwag pimped on Cafepress or anywhere else. First of all, what would I even create? "Bark and Bite" thongs? "No Lazy Stick Penalties" muumuus? (Hmm... maybe I should re-think this plan!) Secondly, what sort of a sick person would even want to buy that kind of crap?

IX. I will use any nominative pronoun I darn please on this site. Be it I, he, they, the editorial we, it, you, the royal We, one, or whatever, you will like it.

X. You are more than welcome to use anything I publish on this site for your own evil devices, the more frequently, the better. However, you will, I repeat WILL give me credit. That's an order, soldiers!

Capice?

Now, who wants to start chiseling this into stone?