23 September 2006

Mass * Velocity

It's all a question of momentum.

The season's almost here. It's breathing hot, stinky dog breath down our necks, like Fluffy in Harry Potter.

But man, is it ever boring writing about... nothing. Seriously, nothing. NOTHINGGGG!!!! Zip. Zero. Stingy with dinero. Let's tick the facts off on our fingers:

  • No one left early for the pros.
  • I don't have insider access to the team, so I'm not getting a sneak peek at anything.
  • Other people have already done season previews for the team and the league. Better than I could ever do.
  • No one ran anyone down with an SUV.
  • It's just been too... freaking... long.
So man, is it ever getting hard to find the impulse (F*dt) to write about something. Impulse is just a change in momentum. It's all physics. Hockey is all physics, anyway. Do you know how many problems I solved in college about an object sliding on a sheet of ice? The professors weren't trying to ignore friction! They were thinking about hockey!

What? Where am I going here? Stop being a nerd!

So, I guess good stuff happened these past few months. Sandelin's contract was renewed (as was mine!). Hard Charger Andrew Carroll and RWD Favorite Matt McKnight are captains. And Bill Watson will be giving PowerPoint briefs on How To Be As Awesome As Bill Watson. Topics will include (Ooh, more Fun With Formatting!):
  • Winning A Hobey Baker
  • Scoring A Sick 1.94 Points Per Game
  • Knock Hockey Strategies
  • Surviving Quadruple Overtime
  • Mustache Cultivation
  • How To Succeed In Hockey Even Though You're Playing For The Bulldogs
(So yes, I'm alive and well and boring as ever, in case you were wondering. Just remember, the season's almost here!)

08 September 2006

Consumer Alert!

Vigilence. Diligence. Consumer Advocacy. That's what we're all about here at RWD. Ralph Nader? An amateur compared to me.

We have discovered yet another Faux-Dog. I will refer to this one as:

Unsafe At Any Speed

from http://twins.scout.com/2/516232.html

Fear not, folks, because the game just got tied up, so Garza's off the heezy for the night.

07 September 2006

Miss 10,000

Welcome, Unique Hits! Thank you for being here, or for being here several times, or for accidentally coming here once thinking you'd find naked pictures of some hockey player!

Rolling over to 10,000 on the counter was like when Mr. Zippy rolled over his odometer to 100,000... cool for a second, and then I got my eyes back on the road before I hit something.

So get your foot on the clutch, people, because we're switching into high gear. Forget that boring stats-counter thing, it's not important nor is it even impressive. What is important here is that we've passed a real milestone: less than a month to go until Bulldog hockey. FOUR WEEKS.
We've been holding on so long, comrades. Suffering through the heat of summer, watching baseball and desperately hoping for a nice hard check into the dugout, perhaps a power play or two in NASCAR (I do not, nor will I ever watch that non-sport. It's not a sport, people. If it were a sport, I might as well move in with La P, listen to Panic! at the Disco, and become a Gopher fan, because life ain't worth living. But I know some college hockey fans are also crazy hicks who like that sort of thing, so I thought I'd give them a shout out), or a nice diving save on a Tiger Woods putt.
But, I think we're going to make it. We're nearing the end of the third period, up by two, the other team's got their goalie pulled, and the fans are on their feet, cheering (clearly we aren't talking about Gopher fans here, who are on their feet leaving.)

I also updated the links section*. Now featuring The College Hockey News Blog, Clarkson Hockey Fans, Hockey In Wisconsin, and MGoBlog. I would advise you against checking out MGoBlog all that often in the next few weeks, if you hate college football. I would also advise you against checking out The Ciskie Blog, for the same reason. However, once college hockey starts, don't avoid them anymore.

I should warn you all that, since the season is barreling down on us like a freight train, Gramps told me, "I have to get back on the site, and check out those other links. I have to see if they're any good." So, be forewarned: get out your thinking cap and write some darn good posts, because you wouldn't want Gramps to think you're no good.

Edit: I'm really, really lame. Here I am, babbling on about milestones, and I totally forgot... 2 September was the RWD 2 year Dogiversary. Two years of this crap? My how time flies. And what was the first post about? Waiting for the season to start. (Everybody now! All my life's a circle, sunrise and sundown...) So, everyone, it's been great. Most of the time. Maybe we haven't had the best ride the past few years, but these are the Bulldogs I've been talking about these past two years. We have to take everything with a grain of salt, a wing (preferrably one who can score on the power play), and a prayer. As for the future of this site, I hope to keep on rockin'. That's about it.

*Have you linked to me, and I haven't linked back? Do you know of a site you think I'd like, that I might also want to share with the rest of the People's Republic of RWD? That comment link is there for a reason. Use it. I'll probably use the link. I have fairly low standards. I mean, look at some of the sketchy bums I'm already linking to.

03 September 2006

The Doomsday Device

(This is LaP's official FSN photo, although something is messed up on their website, so it's very small.)
If you don't have anything NICE to say (about the Twins, I mean), then SHUT YOUR MOUTH.

Sheesh. First Ron Coomer can't stop sucking up to the Rocket, now LaP has a man-crush on A-Rod and the Yankees. Gross.

Look out, LaP. I'll see you at the Final Five.