27 February 2011


tUMD 3, Stray Cats 3

For the pessimists:

And for the optimists:

That's all you're getting tonight, folks. (And blah, internets were down so I'm just now posting this, sorry.)

25 February 2011

The Upside of Anger

tUMD 4*, Nobodies 5


A Google search for "Drew Olson UMD" yielded

1. Hakstol flipping the bird.
2. the Ski Hut logo
3. This:

Quelle coïncidence!

23 February 2011

Doin' the Dougie

Please help me!

I want a "Teach Me How To Dougie" Wooger t-shirt. Someone out there in RWD-land must know how to find them. I need to purchase one ASAP.

22 February 2011

The Tygers

For any team other than DU, CC week is one of the most boring weeks of the season. Let us just read some poetry instead.

Tyger, Tyger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears
And water'd heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger, Tyger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

-William Blake

That's a lovely poem. I was inspired to write some more.

Goal! Connolly from
Connolly and Fontaine. And
the Bulldogs win it!

There once was a player named Brown
Who liked to shut opponents down
On goalies he'd score
Check others into the boards
And make all of them look like a clown.

The Golden Gopher once stood for glory
Its players were proud and brave
And now the players who wrote that story
Have all gone into the grave.

Brett Hextall found his hair and hat
Jared Allen could have told him that.

For every shot he lets fly on
Unlucky goaltender, we Bulldog fans see how
Lucky we would be to
Keep him for another year.

Fast, crazy
Skating, shooting, scoring
We need a win

Bulldog hockey ebbs and flows
Its rabid fanbase shrinks and grows
We yell we scream we chant we cheer
We razz we boo we taunt we jeer
We think about what might have been
Had not we choked when in Boston
Had Fonz not been ruled in the crease
Had Kosti been tethered with a leash
We go to games when it's minus-twenty
Dear players, we have suffered plenty
Don't you think this year's the one
To go the distance on a playoff run
What's not important is the manner
In which you go and get that banner!

21 February 2011


Did anyone besides me know that Chase Ryan was playing for the Stockton Thunder of the ECHL?

Well, good for him! Also on his team are Jordan Fulton and former Princeton goalie Zane Kalemba. I wonder if ol' Zaney still has nightmares about Evan Oberg.

20 February 2011


tUMD 6, Mankato East High School JV Squad 2

You know what I love?


You know what makes winning even sweeter?

Irritating opposing fans.

Last night's game started in typical (of late) Bulldog fashion. Eriah (horrible name) Hayes scored on a delayed penalty just over two minutes into the game. Weak. Mike Seidel made up for his penalty with a goal later in the period and we managed to get out of the first period even steven. Chad Huttel took a tripping penalty for a hip check that apparently the cave-dwellers in Mankato thought was kneeing.

Now for the irritation.

Mankato Coach Troy Jutting is known for three things: coaching goons, chain smoking, and whining constantly to the referees. And of course he started in his ref whining. And since I was within earshot of Jutting, I decided he needed a taste of his own medicine. And also to remind him that he needs to have a smoke. And people didn't like it! This horrible old hag behind me was just so offended. "You just don't go after a coach," she whined. "I always had a good impression of Duluth fans until now." Well, lady, I've never had a good impression of your fans, so you only cemented my opinion. I laughed at her passive-aggressive comments to her seatmates. I'd be embarrassed if Sandelin behaved the way Jutting did, not defensive of it.

At the end of the period Jutting decided to bend the ears of the referees again and we decided to remind the refs that they don't have to listen. And the Mankato fans didn't like that either. Hey, have a little respect for your Zamboni drivers. They need to get the ice re-surfaced.

In the second period tUMD took the lead on a JT Brown goal and then had a completely disastrous turnover to allow Mankato to tie it up. Guys, come on. Enough of that crap. PROTECT THE PUCK!!! HOLY CRAP!!!

Mike Seidel got his 2nd goal of the game (yeah for Team Coug!!!) on a power play just before it expired, which is always great. It's demoralizing for the killing team. And Trent Palm had an assist! Always great to see. Justin Faulk put the puck in the net on the next power play but it was waved off due to goaltender interference. Some Mankato fans decided to call tUMD cheaters, but failed to remark that, as they were on the penalty kill, they were also cheaters. MCON scored a legit goal on the next PP and then the period ended.

And the refs didn't even talk to Jutting! They just skated off while Jutting waited, shaking his head. Hilarious. Best decision they made all night!

In the 3rd, JT Brown scored another goal, making two players with two goals in the game, and then Justin Fontaine laid the hammer down. By that point, pretty much all the Mankato fans around me had left, which was so unfortunate! I wanted them to witness my glee! Although they witnessed plenty of glee from the SIX!!! SIX!!!!! SIX! goals we scored, so there's that. Also, to further solidify my high opinion of the people behind me, apparently while it is not ok to rib a coach, it is ok to mock a player for getting checked from behind into the boards (which should have been a five minute major, but the refs were just bizarre all weekend.)

The game could have been much closer, as Mankato fanned on two WIDE FREAKING OPEN NETS and Crandall was NOT on his game. Dear Sandelin, NO MORE GOALIE ROTATION.

Today is Hockey Day in America so I'm chilling watching the Wild followed by the Canadiens. Yay!

18 February 2011


tUMD 1, Moocows 3

Apparently I'm into YouTube postings.

Why. Why must this happen!? Why am I forced to write posts openly advocating suicide as a viable alternative to watching or listening to another second of passionless, poorly executed Bulldog hockey?

It's totally my fault! Here's why.

1. Last weekend I didn't wear a jersey for EITHER game. And today I didn't put on a jersey til we were down 2-0! If I'd been wearing the jersey it would have been... tied.

2. I bought Frozen Four tickets and tDogs totally tanked almost directly after that happened.

I'm sorry. I'm totally sorry. I'm working on it. See below.

The Wild won and Tech won so all was not lost. And tomorrow I'm going to Mankato and will probably hang myself if we lose.

Have a good night!

P.S. JT Brown, stick to scoring goals. This other crap isn't helping, and it isn't Bulldog hockey.

14 February 2011

Bullet for My Valentine

So I'm not really a celebrator of Valentine's Day, but it is always a nice excuse for a post. This year, I've decided to give you a sprinkling of the kind and loving things that folks have said to me over the past few years.

And then there are my two all-time favorite comments, which are just too long to fit on a candy heart.
From a Gopher fan:

"It's too bad that women wanting to be treated like adults never have to act like adults. But I guess that's feminism in a nutshell for you. Rights without reason or responsibility."

From a Bemidji fan:
"I just wanted to rub your nose in what you defacated [sic] all week on your blog, like a dog."

Happy Valentine's Day, Comrades!

12 February 2011

Coming Through in Waves

tUMD 3, White Trash 3

Novocaine for the Soul

Well now, we're all still standing, aren't we? The sun came up, or at least I presume it's still there somewhere behind the clouds. It's even warm out. I wanted to wear my bikini, but it's not within the dress code at work. And I am tragically working today.

I kind of figured this would happen. All this talk of an easy schedule and how St. Cloud is sucking and blah blah blah. I certainly didn't think we'd get blown out of our own building for the second freaking time since it opened, but I was not expecting tUMD to sweep St. Cloud. I certainly knew they were capable of sweeping St. Cloud, but hey, no one's perfect. And everyone decided to be imperfect on the same night, apparently. Guys, please plan this better.

So tonight would be a good night for a win, ya know? Just a little itty bitty win is all we need to feel better about last night. I'm going to try not to let last night fester and rot in my mind, but that's not going to work if you boys don't work with me here.

11 February 2011

On A Ledge

tUMD 2, Rednecks 8

Really, need I say more?

10 February 2011

Great Hockey Minds

It's everyone's favorite time of year!!! WCHA academic award time!!!

First up: Scholar Athletes!

Here's the official definition. A Scholar-Athlete must first of all had at least one year at their current institution (meaning no transfers or freshmen) and must have maintained a 3.5 GPA either overall or for the previous 2 semesters or 3 quarters.

tUMD's Scholar-Athletes are:

Aaron Crandall (Business)
Keegan Flaherty (Business)
Kenny Reiter (Finance)
Kyle Schmidt (Statistics and Actuarial Science)

Kyle and Kenny are repeat offenders, while Keegan and Aaron are first-timers. Kyle should probably be named the WCHA Student-Athlete of the year, if the voters have any sort of credibility at all. We won't find out until March. Congratulations to all four gentlemen!

Here's how the other member schools stack up:

UAA - 3
Bemidji - 11
CC - 3
Denver - 5
MTU - 5
UMTC - 3
MSUM - 5
UNO - 3
UND - 5
SCSU - 6
UW -0

09 February 2011

File Under: I, For Irony

Saturday night, Feb. 5,
2011, will be remembered as Jack Connolly night. The junior from Calgary tied a
UMD Bulldog men's hockey record by scoring five goals in one contest. That is
not a misprint.
Jack Connolly scored five goals in a Division I hockey game on
Saturday night.
Indeed. (Thanks Mullet for the tip.)

06 February 2011

Gophers Screwed Out of WCHA Championship

tUMD 2, UMTC 2
tUMD 6, UMTC 4

In what has become a disturbing trend in college hockey recently, the Minnesota Gophers were once again denied their rightful wins by the shameful officiating of Don Adam, Timm Walsh, Jarod Moen and Jeff Schultz.

Friday night, the Bulldogs scored when goaltender Kent Patterson made a save on Justin Fontaine, but forward Nico Sacchetti kicked the puck into the net. Head Coach Don Lucia was disgusted with the call.

"That was a terrible call. The puck was kicked into the net. It should have been reviewed and overturned. A puck cannot be kicked into the net," Lucia told reporters after Friday's game. When reminded that the rule does not apply to defensive players, Lucia merely continued, "It was kicked in, it should have been waved off. Or called goaltender interference. A player was interfering with the goaltender's ability to make a save. It doesn't matter who. We should have had a power play."

The game ended in a tie, instead of the win the Gophers clearly earned.

On Saturday, the Gophers went down 3-0 before battling back to put the game within one. First-round draft pick and high school superstar Patrick White appeared to score the game winning goal, when the beleaguered Sacchetti was called for goaltender interference and the Bulldogs were awarded a power play. Assistant Coach John Hill commented after the game.

"This call changed the tone of the game. If we had been awarded this goal they earned fair and square, they would have gone on to score again, and then we would have had a power play goal, followed by a shorthanded goal, and then two more even strength goals. The refs are the only thing standing in the way of us scoring those goals. The goaltender needs to make the save, regardless of what other players might be interfering. It's part of hockey. The Bulldogs got that power play, and that's what caused us to be shut out by Anchorage last weekend. In fact, I think the officiating in this game prevented us from sweeping North Dakota a few weeks ago. If not for this weekend series, we would be on top of the league standings. I will be writing up a formal complaint to the league."

The Bulldogs won 6-4, with Mike Connolly scoring five goals. Young assistant coach Grant Potulny commented on Connolly's performance.

"I don't know that any of those goals can count. The Bulldogs were using illegal players. I mean, Connolly isn't even an American. The way I see it, the real score last night was 4-0."

Even Athletic Director Joel Maturi was incensed. "We pay good money for these wins, and we're getting ripped off."

03 February 2011

Jersey Chasing


Just wanted to say, I now own this:

Carry on.

02 February 2011

So What?

An inevitability when playing a team with storied success such as the Gophers is their fans' inability to comprehend why one would bother to cheer for a team that isn't as successful. Gopher fans are certainly not alone in this; Wisconsin and North Dakota fans will act the same way. It's not even a phenomenon only for college hockey fans. My BFF MEg is a Lions fan and when we went to the Lions-Vikings game together plenty of people acted as if it was horribly gauche to cheer for a team like the Lions (who at that point were NOT ahead of the Vikings in the conference standings.)

I wonder why people act like this. Every single fan has made a conscious choice to cheer for their team. It's a choice that those of us who struggle through hard times with our teams have to make over and over again. Guess what? We know we haven't won a national championship ever, or in a long time, or we're losing the all-time series against your team, or we don't have as many NHL alumni, or as nice an arena, or as many fans, or as much TV exposure, or whatever. It's not a secret. And yet we still choose to cheer for our teams. If you don't get it, well, just get out of the way.

I grew up in the Twin Cities and I could be a Gopher fan if I wanted to. I could be a Merrimack fan if I wanted to, although it's not that convenient. My point is anyone can be a fan of any team they want to. There is no quota of Gopher fans that has already been exceeded; we fans are not "Gopher rejects" forced to flounder about latching on to any team that is willing to take us.

I talked to MEg about this very subject, as her team is, well, sucking. She said that "Everyone has the right to cheer for their team, even if that team is Michigan Tech." Her major pet peeve is the "scoreboard" chant. "What? I didn't know my team was losing! There are only two and a half more periods to go! There is no way we can overcome this! I'll leave now!" she said. I could practically hear her rolling her eyes over the phone.

So, indeed. We. Get. It. tUMD fans know they haven't won a national championship ever. Tech fans know they have a 22-game winless streak. Other fans know other, unnamed things. It's one thing to say a team sucks or make fun of their record or thump one's chest over one's team's past achievements. It's another to question another person's fanaticism or imply there are only certain teams worth supporting.

Of course, we retain the moral superiority of knowing we are true fans who support our teams through thick and thin, not crybabies who wring their hands over *gasp* not having a national championship in the last five years!!! OMG!!! Other teams than us have won!!! Suicide!!!!

So, there's that.

01 February 2011


ZOMG, comrades.

I am freaking shaking right now. Our Stalock, who art in goal, got his first NHL win tonight!!!!! He came in against the Coyotes when the Sharks were down 3-0. Former Badger Joe Pavelski scored toward the end of the 2nd, and then had another in the 3rd, Kyle Wellwood scored to tie it up, and then Patrick Marleau had a shorthanded goal to tie the game and the Joe Thornton sealed the deal with an empty net goal. Stalock was a perfect 9 for 9 on saves.

AND I FREAKING FLIPPED THE FREAK OUT. I screamed pretty much nonstop through the game once Al came in. There's nothing on YouTube yet but I'll try to get some stuff up tomorrow if anything appears.

I am SO EXCITED. I don't know how I'm going to sleep. At the end I was jumping around and screaming. If you follow me on Twitter, you know. If you don't follow me on Twitter, well, dooo it.