Part Two:

UMD Hockey: The Empire Strikes Back

Aka installment #2 in the UMD Hockey Facebook page's highlight reels.

I know there's something... something I'm supposed to be talking about... because everyone is... but I can't think of it, so let's just discuss what I love about this video.

1. Meyers clearing the puck from the crease as Stalock is nowhere near it after the initial save.

2. Bone-crushing hits in the MSUM game. Sadly, impossible to tell who is dishing them out.

3. Andrew Carroll's game-tying goal against MSUM. I was clutching InebriatedMike and screaming.

4. Jacky goals!!!! Always a pretty sight.

5. M-CON PWNED DU!

6. Danberg's goal where he was at the bottom of a pile shoving at the puck, and the refs when he FINALLY signals goal!

7. Vizoroo: check out Sharpy when he banks one off the crossbar at 3:47. :)

8. Cheverie lolling his head back at his utter futility.

9. Sharpy scoring a goal and then dumping a Gopher to the ice.

10. Sam Lofquist once again acknowledging he sucks after a UMD goal.

11. The Gophers' gift to Sharpy... nice clearing pass to Sharpy, uncovered, with 4 Gophers lazily skating the other way.

BIG THUMBS DOWN:

I know this was maybe not Stalock's finest hour, but I wanted to see footage of the play where Goro missed the net!!!

The grand finale had BETTER have some togas in it.

Hmmm... my boss just came by and said "19-0." What does that mean???? :D

Hits From The Blog, Part Deux

It's been awhile since I've been lazy enough to do this, so I've got some good crazy stuff saved up. There are some twisted people out there, coming to RWD. And writing it.

Somewhat Hockey-Related
mike zacharias budweiser i take it he's a big fan.
t.j. oshie beer bong people, get it right. that was jonathan toews.
greer Macgregor is this some sort of science experiment gone wrong?
euthanasia, nick kemp is that really necessary? can't we just put him out to stud?
the drunk hockey guy blog umd doesn't exist yet. you're stuck with rwd.
don lucia complaining imagine that!
bulldog with fire helmet more like fire helmet with bulldog.

Hockey Player Stalker Hits
drew akins is cute probably a meanegirl hit.
is mike sertich of duluth minnesota married wow, even sertie gets stalked!
rob bordson is so hot yes.
uaa nathan lawson girlfriend i hope she's combing the beaches, because he is washed up.
josh meyers shirtless yes yes.
bryan mcgregor girlfriend i wonder what he's up to?
stu bickel girlfriend another meanegirl hit.
tyler bozak girlfriend probably dumped him when he got his knee injury.
tony lucia girlfriend ...is jay barriball.
tj oshie apartment on you tube for what? dirtiest apartment ever?
alex goligoski girlfriend ...is ryan potulny.
tyler ruegsegger girlfriend hopefully did not get projectile-vomited on.
glenn fisher girlfriend who? oh wait, that du guy.
jordan parise gf to be fair, the gf could stand for grand forks.
rob nolan girlfriend ...is rwd.
tj oshie girlfriend should probably not view "tj oshie apartment on you tube."
matt smaby engaged someone cares?
jonathan toews shirtless with a beer bong, i hope!

What the...????
when does air bud hockey come out i don't know, but i can't wait!!!
good rat keeping i guess you clean their cage and feed them and stuff.
boosh hot dogs the game yeah, i'm sure that happened.
making of the game banana is the "game banana" some sort of trophy for gorilla footballers?
rat bleeding from ears probably resulted from bad rat keeping.
cowbell penalty two minutes for not enough!
that heartless bitch, thb tech hockey blog?
christmas dogs midget performance i'm assuming this show is in tijuana.
my legs are extremely long does not apply here.
i'm a guy, and i want grow my hair out like jason micheal carrol's, but until then, how should i manage my hair? ask hollywood clark!
your so into hockey and you don't even know it t-shirts i would never wear that grammatically incorrect shirt.
why women don't like hockey because we're too busy making sandwiches and fetching beers.
home improvement brad shirtless in locker room who wants to see the mullet kid shirtless?
outline of bronco for pumpkin carving that seems useful.
rhyme master rwd yo yo yo, peace out homeslice.
where to go in denver if you're single co14ers' house.
why do people cut off deer heads on the side of the road because they are lousy shots.
shopko temple of doom i see someone shares my point of view.
political affiliation ted Kaczynski same as donald's.
dogs that coach people i don't think they exist. i searched.
jack i don't think they are ready for this that's what she said.
real life fights between badger and dogs ask cody danberg for footage.
wow fhg that's what cardinal said.
does jack daniels have turpentine in it? does it matter?
i kissed a goon and i liked it?
what happened in the houghton temple ...stays in the houghton temple.
runnin and quantum theory you've come to the right place!

The Way We Were

Yes, I know. It has been an unacceptably long time since I last posted, and unlike other season's finales, there's been a ridiculous amount of GOOD content about which to write. If you cared, I am sorry, but the end of the season gave me a lot to sift through and it deserved my full attention. Even now, though this post is more like a novel, I feel like I haven't done it justice, but it's a try.

I don't know of any Bulldog fan who on some level was not ready to pack it in after the UAA series. I mean, some were entirely ready to do so or had already, while some remained cautiously optimistic. I had a post kind of already plotted out in case something terrible happened, which I sort of remember now, weeks and eons later. It certainly felt as though we were headed for another futile, Fitzgerald-esque off-season. You know, "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." Another mediocre finish.

Instead, we got one of the wildest finishes to a season that could possibly be imagined in the drug-addled hallucinations of a schizophrenic.

It started in CC. I was actually rather pleased that we had drawn CC rather than any of the myriad other teams we could have played. Yes, we'd only played them once, but we'd played them at home and had totally rocked it. In fact, it was the only team we had fared well against away from home.

tUMD scored 7 goals in those two games and never trailed. It was incredible. They played in a commanding fashion and despite CC's best attempts to kill our players, the Bulldogs swept them into the off-season. Travis Oleksuk burst onto the college hockey scene, and Alex Stalock made an impossible-looking save, as he is wont to do.

God, was that ever a long time ago. Almost a month ago, to be exact. I was incredibly depressed that I couldn't go to the games in CC as I had to work.

The days before the Final Five seemed tortuously slow. On top of that, the crazy PWR-heads had crunched some rather terrifying numbers: there were multiple scenarios in which the Bulldogs would still miss the NCAA tournament. Funny how we'd gone from lookin' good to almost surely out to possibly back in it within a few weeks. Pretty indicative of the season as a whole.

The play-in game was probably the most terrifying game I'd attended, simply because I was almost entirely surrounded by Gopher fans. It ended up not being that bad though, as all the UND fans were cheering against the Gophers, which meant they were cheering for tUMD. I also saw a group of St. Cloud fans in their jerseys with print-outs of tUMD's logo pinned to the fronts. Dirty and MEg both donned UMD gear as well. I have never seen them look more attractive.

I don't believe in fate or destiny, but when I look back on that weekend, I have never seen anything go so right in my entire life. Certainly not for a team that I follow.

It started off well. Gopher goalie Alex Kangas had was fighting off the flu (whether it was influenza or the oft-mislabeled gastroenteritis, I don't know nor do I want to) and it was unclear if he would even play, but he's a gamer and so he was out there. Barely three minutes into the game, Kangas misplayed a rebound and MacGregor Sharp scored the first goal of the game. The UMD fans in attendance, as well as the Gopher haters, made the Xcel sound fairly loud. Five minutes later, UMD found themselves two men short for slightly over a minute, and I really started to stress. Penalty killing had not been a strength over the season, and though they had been must better in CC, they had given up a 6x4 goal and a 6x5 goal. tDogs managed to kill it off, and went into the locker room at intermission with a lead. The Gophers came out in the second with Patterson in net and Kangas on the bench, apparently too sick to continue. The second period saw the always hard-working Matt Greer put the Dogs up another goal, but despite the best efforts of my dear friend and our DanceMania antics, I could NOT calm down. In the third, the Gophers scored early on a weird deflection type goal, which would be the only goal to beat Stalock that weekend. Then I REALLY stressed. The clock could not POSSIBLY go any slower. Once time started running out, I kept one eye on the play and one eye on Patterson. tUMD managed to control play enough that the Gophers couldn't pull him until there were 38 seconds left, and still the Gophers nearly had a great scoring chance, if not for the brilliant hooking penalty Andrew Carroll took, which could not be assessed before time ran out.

The first task completed, tDogs now faced possibly a more daunting prospect: they absolutely needed to win one of the next two games in order to guarantee entry into the NCAAs, and they had to face a team on a roll: UND. Allegiances changed: UND fans were (of course) cheering against tUMD, while only the bitterest of Gopher fans stayed off the UMD bandwagon. I really stressed, again. This was overall a very stressful weekend for me!!! In addition to the games, I had three exams, and I actually skipped the Friday afternoon game to study. Or to attempt to study, as I was terribly distracted.

Stalock recently edged out UND goaltender Brad Eidsness for the WCHA goaltending title by an incredibly slim margin, so many touted it as a battle to see who really could claim the title. Eidsness decided he wanted to show he could beat Stalock at his own game, and while Fonzie was in the box serving a too many men on the ice penalty, Brad went behind the net to play the puck and made a blind pass to MacGregor Sharp, who quickly tucked the puck into the net before Eidsness could finish crapping himself. Mike Montgomery added another hard-working goal in the first period, and the Dogs had a nice lead at the end of the first. Of course, I was still stressed out, but you know me. In the second period, Brady Lamb was handed a major penalty for kneeing Matt Watkins. I went home and watched the game again on my DVR, and I will tell you folks, it was not a kneeing penalty. Watkins came off the bench and skated right into Brady Lamb, who is clearly going after the puck. He makes an odd leg motion, but if you look closely, he's trying to accelerate, not trying to take out Watkins, who as I already said, skated right into him. Watkins was injured, which was unfortunate, but not every injury in hockey is a penalty. UMD killed the major penalty in a textbook manner, and the only subsequent goal was an empty netter from Mike Connolly, who popped his jersey and made a bunch of people get their undies in a bunch. I have no problem with the jersey pop, as long as they're popping the front and not the back. I was so excited after the game I looked up at DHG in the club level and screamed "WE'RE GONNA DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Saturday came. The day of reckoning. tUMD was essentially playing with the house's money at this point. I was taking a ridiculously hard test and then another test that was not as hard and then I made it over to see the rest of the UW/DU game. And of course, despite everyone's logical arguments and soothing platitudes, I was stressed out. I was probably not helping myself because between periods at each game, the only other person in the building more stressed out than I came over and we probably ended up stressing ourselves out MORE. Although it is nice to have someone who understands me!

No play-in game winner had ever won the Final Five. No team had ever beaten Denver in the Final Five. tUMD had never won the Broadmoor trophy in the current fashion. A pessimist could say the odds were stacked against them, while an optimist would say it was a perfect storm of opportunity. We had die-hard Gopher fans wearing tUMD jerseys. Everyone who mattered was cheering for the Bulldogs, excluding the DU fans, who had an excuse.

I can't even recap the game because it was just so incredible. UMD was... dominant. MacGregor Sharp was dominant. ALEX STALOCK WAS DOMINANT. Gwoz pulled Cheverie fairly early, in a typically gutsy Gwoz style move, and I remember thinking "GET SHARP ON THE ICE." And of course he was, because he's always on the ice in that situation. Mike Connolly got the puck and brought it up ice and, because he is an incredible guy who plays on an incredible team, he passed the puck to MacGregor Sharp who sent it into the open net for a hat trick. The roar in the Xcel was incredible. You would never have known that only about... oh, maybe 15% of the crowd were wearing UMD gear. I didn't leave the arena until the last Bulldog had left the ice.

The only thing left to worry about, tournament-wise, was where UMD would go. They had secured a 2-seed, pole-vaulting over UND to be the second-seeded WCHA team. Wisconsin was the last man out, and the Gophers just behind them. The selection show was pretty cool, as UMD was one of the only non-#1 seeds that got any attention, and Barry Melrose even picked them to be in the finals, which some people said was the kiss of death but he also picked BU, and they won, so it was hardly that way. Once I found out that tUMD would go to the west regional, I was THRILLED.

Days of plotting ensued. MEg and I spent two nights making posters (we made over 20) and togas, and eight of us suited up and headed over to the Miami-DU game. We made friends with the Miami band, which apparently offended the INCH people, but they were very nice. We were fickle in our allegiance. Or as MEg says, allianceship. An incredibly battered Denver team got bounced out, and we prepared ourselves for our Bulldogs.

UMD scored first, which felt so nice, but Princeton scored three times unanswered, and the UMD faithful started to stress. Just as I was running downstairs to give Sioux-cia her ticket (she was very late), Brady Lamb decided it would be a good time to get his first collegiate goal. Bless you, Brady, you have amazing timing. Princeton scored again shorthanded, and we were down by two goals. It was pretty sad. I refused to let the UMD fans get out-cheered by the Princeton band, so every time they started a cheer, I started one. If we were going to die, we were going to die with our boots on. So to speak.

I can not even describe the impossibility of the final minute of the game. Every time I watch it, it seems more impossible. Here, you can watch it, too.



See what I mean? I don't even know if I knew what happened when Oberg scored. I just know it was like being attacked by an octopus, because everyone was hugging everyone. Togas were falling off. Signs were being ripped. The overtime goal was great, but it was just overshadowed by the game-tying goal.

The next night was heartbreaking. There was controversy, of course, but ultimately UMD lost the game and the season ended, and now Cascalenda, Carroll, Gergen, Greer, Kemp, Meyers, Sharp, Oberg, Stalock, and maybe others will never suit up for the Bulldogs again. It's hard for me to even think about. But they have left a legacy and they have left behind some incredible players who will remember this past season, who will remember nothing is over until it truly is, who will remember what these guys who are leaving have passed on to them. But I also don't want to take anything away from the guys who will come back next year, as they were an integral part of the successes of this season.

I didn't think, when I watched the Frozen Four games, that it would be so hard. I kept thinking how much I wanted the Dogs to be there. It's amazing, however, that they came so close. Bittersweet.

Don't worry, because RWD is going to be open for business for the summer. And don't worry, ladies and gents, because the most popular RWD post of the year is on its way.

Forget Pretense

I'm just going to tell you what you want, and you are going to like it.

Comrades, you want:

Tech to annihilate Minnesota-Twin Cities

Mankato to pulverize St. Cloud

North Dakota to disembowel Wisconsin

Denver to incinerate Colorado College

and

your UMD BULLDOGS to sweep the Seawolves!!!!

If these things occur, then I'll have one more trip up to Duluth this season!!!

Andrew, Jay, Josh, MacGregor, Nick, Matt and Michael: I'm counting on you, just as I always have for the past four years.

Additionally, I should announce the winner from the previous poll. With 14 votes (well, really 13, because I voted once), the winner is... THEY ARE ALL CREEPY!!!! Thanks to everyone who voted early and often.

Rehab

Losers 2, Winners 2
(A tie is now referred to as a "Tech win.")

The best thing about late posts is they are usually better. We shall see. I'm still trying to piece together the weekend. Thank goodness for the many people who contributed to the invention of the digital camera. And thank goodness for the delete button on said camera!

I am sorry in advance that this post is full of dumb inside jokes. Unless you are in on those jokes, in which case I am not sorry. You might be, but I can't help that.

Friday night was pretty tame, as I mentioned in that post, which seems so long ago now. This meant my fellow shortie and I were well-rested for the day, and we started it off standing out in the cold heckling an IM broomball game. People at Tech are very serious about broomball. They are not serious about playing defence in their broomball games, though. We also ate at a Chinese food place that did not take my food before I was done eating it nor did it have someone trying to put lemons in the water of non-lemon likers, and I also got to be a creeper for a few minutes because a player walked in. I thought maybe Chinese food was a good thing to eat before games but in fact that person could have eaten a bucket of lard and it would not have mattered because he did not play.

The hockey part of the day started early as I had to go to the VP and Yager's IM hockey game. Many of those people were equally as talented as MTU's varsity squad, and I do not mean that in a complimentary fashion, less the VP think I was being nice. Word to the wise: I AM NEVER NICE. Some of tUMD's fans were at the game, too, as they had nothing better to do. It was very enjoyable as we all sang the "$5 footlongs" song and made up cheers about our friends. I think the IM puck bunnies (sooo incredibly unnecessary) did not like us. It's okay, though. The VP went offsides and ruined everything at one point. Stick to VPing, VP.

I got in free to both games, Friday compliments of Le Russell, my secret boyfriend, and Saturday compliments of getting there so freaking early so I could stalk and the ROTC kids weren't there yet to guard the doors. You know, when I was in ROTC we did crap like that to make money for the battalion but I was stuck 1. covered in cold hot chocolate 2. hauling a giant thing of overpriced sodas through the upper deck of Memorial Stadium trying to hawk them to people who did not want them or 3. cleaning up soggy popcorn, mini-booze bottles, and nearly-liquid funnel cake the day after the Illini got their butts whipped by the rest of the Big 10. I think taking tickets would have been more fun and less freaking nasssty.

I am glad that we arrived as early as we did because later on tUMD started doing their little warmups and they were doing their plios/stretching EXACTLY WHERE I HAD WALKED IN A MERE 20 MINUTES PRIOR. And if I had walked into that I THINK I WOULD HAVE DIED. I commented on this, saying I would have wanted to RUN AWAY FAST like I did once when I told Justin Fontaine "Good game" at Blackwoods and then RAN AWAY before he could even answer (he said "Thanks" I think). MEg pointed out I'd look even more crazy if I did, and I said I wasn't planning on actually running away, just wishing I was going to run away. Fortunately that nightmare only happened in my head.

The game was even more fun somehow even though we "Tech lost." Sadly, the Tech students did not decide to show up to the game, but we were there to help by once again occupying their student section. tPBers came up with some GREAT chants and we had a lot of fun going back and forth with the Tech fans. I horribly embarrassed MEg because it was really quiet in the arena because they were having some sort of sportsmanship announcement from their captain and it was very poorly read, like a robot or something, and I was yelling about it. I know that I often say that I wish I was louder but in this case it was unnecessary because MEg told me that she happened to be focusing on one particular Tech player and the instant I opened my big fat mouth to bellow out "COULD YOU PLEASE ENUNCIATE?" he looked at me like my words were stabbing him in the eyes.

It was very hard to watch the game because of all of the goings-on. Tech jumped out to an early lead and then Gergy got a goal and I was so excited and happy. He seemed that way, too. We all chanted "Just like last night!" which was a great idea. It was incredibly strange because it was a PP goal and the assists went to Andrew Carroll and Nick Kemp, and they are not normally on the PP. But good job! Yeah! Between periods I followed MEg to the other side of the arena to climb up and meet Huskyfan. I needed some oxygen. I don't know why old people would want to sit so high up. I am young and I almost needed Boosh to carry me up. I don't know why I didn't think of that then. Then we went to the Blue Line club to meet MacDie and some lady started screaming that a Bulldog fan had entered as if I was carrying the bubonic plague or something. I mean, maybe I was, but still, calm down. It was 100 degrees in there. MacDie offered me some food but I declined (I DECLINED FOOD. IT'S SO UN-AMERICAN.) because of the death stares I was getting. I got a cup of water and even then people were all "Bitch get away from our jugs of wine." This provided an excellent distraction for Boosh to make off with half of their buffet.

The second period was good because Meyers got a goal and then Seth Soley breathed too close to Alex Stalock and he went down like he was Geoff Kinrade. Hee. (I am sorry Al but you know you totally flopped.) Akins went all Akins on Soley and Palm and Bunger bear-hugged for awhile so they all went to time out. It took a very long time to sort out the penalties and then there were net problems. I was nervous because we could not afford to get any DQs. I am always nervous at games, though. I think I was clutching Marty at one point. At the 2nd intermission tUMD fans put on a parade and marched through the arena to find the fan bus fans. They cheered when we came over and we cheered for them. Then we walked back through the concourse chanting "LET'S GO BULLDOGS!" and people stared.

The 3rd period sucked because Weird Derek Kitti scored the game-tying goal and I knew, I just KNEW, we were not going to score another goal. I should have worn a different jersey. Or something. Or maybe I should have sabotaged some of the guys. They (and their LLC) were in close proximity to me for much of the trip. And they didn't even know it. Muahahahaha. Overtime sucked too. We seriously almost lost the game like 600 times. Or once. I was sitting in a weird seat that was at the top of the stairs and so I had to hold onto the railing to keep from rocketing down the stairs. After the game ended we chanted "BEAT THE GOPHERS" and everyone stared at us like "What are Gophers?" Hello, we were trying to be nice.

After the game, things happened. The end.

The Numbers
Wins until we equal last season's total: Not even necessary!
Points until we equal last season's total: Eee!

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 31!
Jack Connolly: 22
Michael Gergen: 14!
Rob Bordson: 0

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 27!
Jack Connolly: 22
Scott Kishel: 2
Brady Lamb: 1
Travis Oleksuk: 1
David Grun: 0

On Notice
Rob Bordson
Andrew Carroll
Jay Cascalenda
Jack Connolly (whyyyyyyyy?)
Jordan Fulton
Kyle Schmidt
Alex Stalock

Goals Only
Matt Greer
Nick Kemp
Mike Montgomery
Trent Palm

RWD's Know Your Foes

A comprehensive look at RWD's opponents

DGGoddard

the godfather

site: Let's Go DU

Puck Swami

the spiritual advisor

site: Know Your Foe

CO14ers

the evil henchman

site: thankfully, none

vs.

A Scary Person

(escaped mental patient)

site: duh (Eee! A circular reference!)

I know. It hardly seems like a fair fight. The Little Blogger That Could pitted against three grown men, one of whom possesses mystical powers. But there's very little I wouldn't do for my 'Dogs or for 'Dogs fans, so I'll get the best of them or die trying.

About the Enemy

Let's Go DU sprang onto the scene with the 2005-2006 campaign (a full year after the genesis of RWD) as the result of a manifesto on school spirit given by Goddard and some other hack. The report is mostly corpie-speak, which is an essential language for communication within the WCHA as it is the main language spoken at both Mariucci and Magness Arenas. Curiously, the report speaks of DU athletics as a "primary bonding opportunity," which seems like something that should be downplayed, given the overall negative results of rival Colorado College's bonding efforts, which resulted in multiple cases of mono and numerous suspensions. The remainder of the blog is far from corporate: its main purposes seem to be link-whoring to Mike Chambers's blog and other "legitimate" media sources, baiting North Dakota fans, and otherwise disseminating all the college hockey news that's fit to line your birdcage. DGGoddard is the main proprietor of LGDU with both CO14ers and Puck Swami as consultants.

Earlier this season, Puck Swami launched Know Your Foe as a counterpoint to the sometimes-dicey-on-the-facts LGDU; KYF seems to be culled solely from Wikipedia, school's media guides, and Puck Swami's vast knowledge of WCHA history. KYF seems doomed by its potential for stagnation, as many of DU's opponents are the same year after year and there are only 58 teams in college hockey, which leaves little in the way of new content. The Swami is a business legend, and one can only hope he has plans to diversify his content in order to keep it fresh and relevant. Puck Swami is an enigmatic creature, ageless, faceless and shapeless; whether he exists in this realm at all is a topic of heated debate.

CO14ers has not, as of presstime, started a blog on DU athletics or any other topic of interest (or noninterest) to any sector of the population. He travels the country with his bald ward as an ambassador of sorts, or what would pass for an ambassador if any entity would claim him publicly as their own, visiting hockey arenas and gentlemen's clubs from Anchorage to Zminneapolis.

Mascot and Colors

LGDU is at the heart of the Denver Boone Controversy. Boone is a fat, white, jolly, furry cap-wearing cartoon and the former mascot of the University of Denver. Boone was usurped by University brass with the explanation that he does not represent the diverse student body of DU. Maybe so, but fat white Imperialist guys seem to be the majority of DU alumni.

DU's school colors are extremely similar to UMD's colors. I drunkenly screamed this at politely and soberly pointed this out to CO14ers the first time we met. Or rather, the first time I remember meeting him.

Famous Readers

Let's Go DU is probably the secondmost widely-read non-newspaper affiliated blog in college hockey, with only Western College Hockey surpassing its readership. Naturally, with that kind of exposure, some real luminaries visit the site, including:

George Gwozdecky, DU Head Coach

Matt Carle, DU alumnus, Hobey Baker winner, defenceman for the Philadelphia Flyers

Dirty, USCHO posting lifetime achievement award winner and author of Dirty's Diatribe

Dave Hakstol, UND Head Coach and LGDU favorite

Mike Chambers, Denver Post beat writer

Bruce Ciskie, AOL FanHouse and College Hockey News contributor

Donna Carpenter, genius and beauty queen

Zach Blom, two-time All-WCHA Hottie Team honoree

The Series

The Pioneers are smarting from their overtime loss in Anchorage on Saturday, where they earned a split, which is one more point than tUMD got out of Anchorage. tDogs had a low-scoring and epileptic-fit-inducing weekend against Wisconsin where they scored 2 goals and earned 2 points. The last time these teams met, DU routed tUMD 5-1 on Friday night, which also gave fans their first installment of PEANUT BUTTER HJELLE TIME!!!!, and tUMD lost a close one on Saturday night, 2-1 (My recap for that game was almost non-existent and not worth the linky). Michael Gergen was the only Bulldog to score a goal that weekend. For DU, expect to see Marc Cheverie between the pipes for DU until tUMD's offensive onslaught chases him from the game, when we will see Little Peter Rohn's neighbor in Norway, Lars Paulgaard. For the Good Guys, WCHA co-defensive player of the week Alex Stalock will have the start, and I have a 99.999999% confidence level in that answer. DU's leading scorers are Anthony Maiani (really?) and diving legend Rhett Rakhshani at forward followed by Patrick Wiercioch on defence. DU's leading scorer would most likely be Tyler Bozak if he was not injured. UMD's scoring is led by Arthur Fonzarelli and MacGregor Sharp at forward, while captain Josh Meyers leads the defencemen in scoring. DU's Joe Colborne and UMD's Mike Connolly were teammates and linemates for the Camrose Kodiaks, so tUMD fans are hoping that MCON gives away all of Joe's secrets, while Joe forgets to do the same for Mike. tUMD arena staff will likely be augmented, with checkpoints set up to assist Coach Gwozdecky in finding the locker room, since he had so much trouble in North Dakota.

Endzone

tUMD 1 Touchdown, Mankato's Football Team 2 Safeties


I'm glad I drove up here. This will be a short post because I am watching Katt Williams on Comedy Central and it is entertaining.

I missed much of the 1st period because I was still driving up. Depressingly, I missed my Jacky's goal (though I heard it on the radio) AND Josh Meyers's goal (because I was waiting for InebriatedMike in the ticket lobby while he was waiting for me at the back entrance), and I was starting to wonder if I was a curse because we did not score any more goals until Monkey scored.

I feel sorry for Troy Jutting. I mean, not just because he is super uggo and gross, but also because he does not understand what sport he is coaching. That's really the only explanation for tonight's play. It was rough for tDogs in the 2nd period because they let Mankato dictate what game was being played, and it was Maverick Football, not Bulldog Hockey.

In the 3rd period, I got a call from one of my friends with 9 minutes to go. He asked about the score and I said "It's 4-3... we're losing." I was pretty crabby. The PK was rough and the PP was hurting a bit from the shorty. Later on I was telling him about the game and he was like "They really scored 4 goals in 9 minutes?" I didn't even realize it. Wow. Amazing. What's also amazing is how much food you can get from Taco John's for $25: 2 sodas, 1 order of chicken quesadillas, 2 hard shell tacos, 3 softshell tacos, 3 orders of Potato Oles, 1 buffalo chicken burrito, 1 side of nacho cheese, 1 side of sour cream, and a side of guacamole. Heavenly. Mom, I'm sure you're jealous. But the 3rd period was a smorgasbord of scoring: Sherrif Andrew Carroll said "No way are we going to let this herd of cattle run wild on OUR rink," and tied the game. Then Captain Greer decided he needed to get in on the scoring, assisted by Super Sexy Shirtless Brady Lamb! All three captains scored in the game!!!! That's awesome. MCON decided he DEFINITELY did not want to be On Notice and got his own goal, and then Jordan Fulton kicked an extra point with 33 seconds to go.

I sat in the student section tonight, and they were AWESOME in the 3rd period. I've often stressed that it doesn't matter WHAT they say, just that they are LOUD and PROUD (like 2 certain Gopher fans I know...). The student section was so rocking tonight that we couldn't even get chants going in our section because the next section had already started one! And then... many of them left before the end of the game. Screw them. Also, students, there is no reason to drink so much that you vomit on yourself or your friends while in your seat. If you're going to do that, why even bother attending the game?

I'd like to write more, and I probably will, but it's 2:17 and I have to be up to drive home in like... 7 hours. And I have tacos to eat, and miles to go before I sleep.

The Numbers (abbreviated until I'm home again)
Wins until we equal last season's total: 2! (Yay! We're comin'! We're comin'!)
Points until we equal last season's total: 4! (AMAZING!!!)

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 26!
Jack Connolly: 20!
Michael Gergen: 11
Rob Bordson: 0

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 22!
Jack Connolly: 20! (Sorry I missed your goal!)
Scott Kishel: 2
Brady Lamb: 1! (Yay Brady! And your dad was there to see it!)
Travis Oleksuk: 1
David Grun: 0

Stuffed

So, the Hobey Baker fan voting has begun and so have the shenanigans. Well, the presence of not one but THREE tUMD players on the list is not a shenanigan, but of course there is the cursory ballot box stuffing by some random fanbase. (Chay Genoway? Bitch, please.) I know that this voting has an effect so small it's not an observable phenomenon, like string theory, but let's pretend that it has some importance. First, get out and vote, people. Now, let's talk about the people for whom we are voting. I'm not going to discuss why they will or won't win the award, but rather why they may or may not make it to the second round. Then we can talk specifics.

Justin Fontaine
sophomore forward
Vitals: 11-19-30, 1.36 points/game, 9 power play goals
Undoings: Sophomores rarely win the award unless they are truly dominant in the game, tUMD may end up having a horrendous second half, isn't enough of a household name.
Saving graces: 5th nationally in points per game, tied for 3/4 nationally in points, 2nd nationally in power play goals, team leader in points on a traditionally low-scoring team. 2/3 in the conference in scoring, 2/3 in power play points, 2nd in power play goals.

Josh Meyers
senior defenceman
Vitals: 6-11-17, .77 points/game, 6 power play goals
Undoings: Not dominant enough among defencemen, probably going to be overshadowed by Fontaine.
Saving graces: Has averaged 1 less penalty minute per game over last year despite the officiating changes (but who crunches those numbers? Only nerds!), 3rd in conference in scoring among defencemen, 2/3 in power play points, 13th overall in scoring.

Alex Stalock
junior goaltender
Vitals: 9-7-6, 2.27 GAA, .920 save%
Undoings: So-so record, not statistically dominant nationally, has had some not-so-stellar performances (WMU, SCSU, UW, DU), non-traditional style of play, Ryan Miller ruining it for goalies.
Saving graces: 2nd nationally in minutes played, will probably end the season with better numbers, Jon Campion not voting.

Come on, tUMD fans! Rock the vote!

RWDzilla

tUMD 2, Ref Whiners 2

First of all, as a sister, I am offended that tying is considered "sister-kissing." There's nothing wrong with family affection. I mean, we're not talking about a tonsil scraping here, but just a nice peck on the cheek. Not that I have kissed my brother since I was probably 4 years old or possibly younger, but I am by no means the yardstick by which people should measure themselves. I am barely taller than a yardstick, for crying out loud.

Last night was a bit of a challenge for me. I was doing okay until something really annoying and un-hockey related set me off. I was staaaaaaaaaaaaaaarving and I had ordered a pizza that was taking forever. It finally arrived right before Travis Oleksuk's penalty, and The Aaaahj went down to get it. Then the phone rang and EVENTUALLY after a few minutes of stoner-talk, I was able to ascertain it was the pizza delivery man-child, telling me he had grabbed the wrong order and would be back in "five minutes." So I had to run back downstairs and grab the Aaaahj DURING A PENALTY KILL and then he wasn't there because he'd gone to the other entrance to the apartment to see if the man-child was there. I RAN back to the apartment and OF COURSE UND had scored and I kicked the door in frustration.

Things escalated.


Then Jacky got kicked out of the game for a check from behind. I threw my cell phone across the room. Not just because of my Jacky, but also because I lost faith that we would come back. I'm sorry, guys. I never should have done that. First tUMD had a great 2 on 1 scoring chance, but in order to break up the 2 on 1, Chris VandeVelde (who has a capital letter in the middle of their name? LOSERS!) took out Andrew Carroll and they both went crashing into the net.

I never cease to be amazed by the North Dakota fanbase. This game was televised, so we all had a great look at the play and I know there was at least one replay. It was the only thing that Vandevelde could do and the right play to make, but IT WAS A PENALTY. And UND fans thought it should be on tUMD. Yes, on a 2 on 1 scoring chance we are going to take a penalty for... trying to score on your team? But, Ben Blood punching Trent Palm repeatedly in the head is something to be lauded and praised. I expect a parade for him thrown once they return to Grand Forks. (P.S. Welcome back Trent, but could you please tone down the penalties?)

It has been my experience that the more someone knows about the game of hockey, the less they complain about the officiating of individual games. That's all I'll say on that note.

Fortunately, on the ensuing power play, we scored to tie the game! I almost had a heart attack when they reviewed the goal. The longer they deliberated about Josh's goal, the more I panicked. And Bruce and Rik weren't helping matters. I knew it was a goal (bless you, Channel 13!) but that doesn't mean that it wouldn't be waved off. We've already experienced that this season.

Some people have commented that tUMD fans acted like we won the game while UND fans acted like we lost, implying that somehow tUMD is bad and our fans are so pathetic we're happy with a tie. I disagree. Obviously our fans were a lot more excited because we were the last team to score, and we were facing a loss with under 2 minutes left in the game. I'm happy with a tie if it means we got a point when we were facing none; what sane person wouldn't be? Oh... I suppose sane would be the operative word here.

All in all, good job to tUMD for never quitting and really hustling in that 3rd period, despite playing the second game in a row down 2 players (if you recall, Cody Danberg and Mike Connolly were both asked to leave the Saturday night game against UW). And Kyle Schmidt, I hope you got a lot of painkillers. How about sending me a photo of your busted cage?

The Numbers
Wins until we equal last season's total: 8
Points until we equal last season's total: 18! (Okay, creeping along.)

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 14! (Yay!!! Off notice!!)
Jack Connolly: 7 (Argh. Don't wanna talk about it.)
Michael Gergen: 5
Rob Bordson: 0

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 10
Jack Connolly: 7
Scott Kishel: 0
Brady Lamb: 0
Travis Oleksuk: 0 (But! Cracked the lineup! And took the penalty that led to the 2nd goal!)
David Grun: 0

On Notice (Step up, guys!):
Drew Akins
Rob Bordson
Jay Cascalenda
Jack Connolly
Jordan Fulton
Matt Greer
Kyle Schmidt
Alex Stalock

Goals Only
Andrew Carroll
Cody Danberg
Nick Kemp
Mike Montgomery
Trent Palm

Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead

It's been tough times for Scotty "The Saint" Sandelin. He's been out from under the thumb of crime boss Dean "Blazer" Blais for eight years and he's still trying to go legit. His Bulldogs haven't had the greatest of years these past few years, and a few years ago they majorly pissed off another pillar of the mob community, "The Man With The Plan," also known as "Curious George." Apparently The Saint owed a debt to Curious George, and he called in the note. The Man With The Plan wanted his boys to get shaken up, get ready for the playoffs, and he wanted The Saint and his boys to surprise the Pioneers with a little upset in the first game of the playoffs, you know, to keep them hungry and all. (Here's what actually happened. But don't go here if you don't like Christopher Walken, bad words, or hobos being beaten up. And if that is the case, I feel like it's best if you and I part ways.) Sandelin had no choice but to gather together a group of his best guys and carry out the Man's orders.

Well, we all know what happened there. Sandelin's boys got a little crazy and ended up taking out the Pioneers entirely. Not only did they miss the Final Five, but they also failed to make the NCAA tournament despite being finishing 2nd in the WCHA. And The Man With The Plan was not happy.

Today after the WCHA coaches had their conference call and Sandelin showed up to practice looking totally freaked out.

"What's the matter, Coach?" asked Josh "Easy Wind" Meyers. But he didn't get an answer, The Saint just stared.

"Really, Sandy, what's the deal?" Critical Nick [really, Nick, I am sorry that you had to be this guy... if you haven't seen the movie, you just don't want to know] pressed him for answers. He exchanged a look with Matt "Pieces" Greer and Andrew "Franchise" Carroll. They all know something is up.

Finally, The Saint opened his mouth and uttered a single word. "Buckwheats."

Silence. Finally Franchise sputtered "Buckwheats?" The Saint repeated, "Buckwheats."

It was silent for a moment as a look of horror fell over the face of every senior on the team.

"What's 'buckwheats?'" piped up Mike Connolly, confused. The guys shot him death stares. "Geez, never mind, eh?"

The rest of the guys got up to start their practice, not realizing the severity of the situation. The seniors and The Saint stayed seated, shell-shocked.

"Who are they sending?" asked Critical Nick. "Goal Czar Salazar? Brock the Rock?"

"He's dead," Easy Wind said.

"Oh yeah. So who is it?"

Still with his thousand-yard stare, The Saint replies "Mr. Shh." And with a collective intake of breath, all the seniors realize they are about to come face to face with their own mortality. Mr. Shh, whose real name is Rhett Rakhshani, is known for killing his opponents slowly, drawing penalties by falling on the ice if so much as the breeze from an opponent passes his way, then whining like a little baby until the Pioneers get a power play, which is where he takes his kill shot.

It's an epic battle, folks. Mr. Shh and the Pioneers vs. The Saint, Franchise Carroll, Critical Nick, Easy Wind Meyers, Pieces Greer and the rest of the seniors. Evil vs. Good. Boys vs. Men. Stupid Fat Creatures In Coonskin Caps vs. Bulldogs. And it's not going to be settled tonight, so stay tuned for this weekend.

Is anyone even going to understand this post?? It's not that obscure of a movie, is it??? Oh well. It's late. Just appreciate the genius.

teltnuaG ehT

Donald attempted to Gauntlet me. He did not succeed. Here are the results. Now step aside and let Mama take over.

(Extremely long wait for Donald to get to his computer)
DTP: Ok ... so should we get this over with? [Well, I waited around for forever, so could we please get on with it?]

RWD: Are you sure you're ready?

DTP: 1st question: Why do you hate Mike Connolly?

RWD: Aww, I don't hate Fuzzy. I'm pro Fuzzy. Some big bad Bronco player threw him into the boards last weekend and I about cut someone, but the REF called a PENALTY and I almost died. [Maybe the system works!]

DTP: Mike senses your overwhelming love for Jack and he isn't amused.

RWD: Oh really? Did your Spidey sense tell you that?

DTP: I'm uncharacteristically intuitive about such things

RWD: I think he's probably happy I'm not a freak over him. He sleeps better at night I'm sure. [Meanwhile, I’m sure Jack is terrified. And rightfully so. I am crazy.]

DTP: Do you agree with Hannes Alfven that in a Universe filled with Plasma that electric currents are pervasive? [Do you agree that no one other than possibly MEg is going to understand that question?]

RWD: I failed my plasma engineering course. The professor was a jackass though. [To him, “short quiz” was actually “horrendously long test.” Didn’t get THAT memo.]

DTP: Are you more or less intellectually curious than Sarah Palin?

RWD: I am a McCain supporter and will not participate in anything that mocks her, though Amy Poehler's rap was amazing.

DTP: Will Sandy give Kenny Reiter a start this weekend?

RWD: I don't know. I don't even know if Kenny is there. I am attempting to find out. Bruce is being reticent. He threatened my life. [He did finally respond but only with information that was either self-evident or irrelevant. Then later his blog had useful information. No.]

DTP: I'll handle Bruce this weekend. Was he pouty cos [stupid foreigner spelling] I didn't show up and say hi last year? [We did not go to Anchorage last year. Maybe he was upset because he donated money to your stupid Final Five fund.]

RWD: Bruce is pouty because I send him barrages of text messages about stupid stuff. [Mom and Dad cover your eyes] While I am driving.

DTP: Did it snow there yet?

RWD: No. But every customer that I talk to that finds out I am in Minnesota asks me that. Or about the Mall of America. [Or they tell me I should be in prison, that I am a criminal, that I don't want to help them, or they just say "Listen young lady..."]

DTP: Be happy that they know Minnesota is a state

RWD: It is THE state. Of hockey.

DTP: Is Sandelin's job on the line this year?

RWD: Yes. There is major talent on this team and if we don't finish better then there's no way I can defend him anymore. I will most likely usurp him.

DTP: What will tUMD fans consider "better"?

RWD: Home ice for the playoffs.

DTP: Coke or Pepsi?

RWD: Coke, definitely coke. And also Coca-Cola.

DTP: Rant on to your own satisfaction about USCHO... [meaning Ugly Stupid Crack Heads Online]

RWD: I don't really mention "that site" on my blog as I don't want to give them any undue publicity. It does give me a nice ego boost; it reminds me of how intelligent I am. It is a fruit roll-up of vulgarity, depravity, and the worst elements of the human psyche. It's like shower shoes covered in mold. I generally go on there only to offend.

DTP: As did I once upon a time

RWD: I can't say I ever read one of your posts but I know I'm much more reserved than you are. I usually forget what posts I've started things in.

DTP: Will the LHC create a black hole?

RWD: St. Cloud State will. With all the negative pressure (vacuums don't suck, people!) coming out of there.

DTP: Compare the Bulldogs defense this year to last years blueliners

RWD: They are... um... Kind of the same? Palm is still Palm. Cascalenda is still Cascalenda. Oberg is back and scoring us goals.

DTP: Garrison is gonzo. [Eeeeeee!]

RWD: Yes but I can't compare Garrison to noGarrison. Mike Montgomery has joined the blueline and is a big kid who knows how to play the offensive side of the game as well. Our penalty kill is not as strong.

DTP: What about Josh Meyers?

RWD: Josh is Josh. He is supposed to be another offensive defenceman but I just can't figure him out. He does score points. I don't know how I feel about him on the PP. I know that Scotty Kishel is going to be a great PP guy in the coming years. He is kind of in and out of the lineup.

DTP: Did you guys get whistled for boatloads of penalties so far?

RWD: Yes. But we always do. I think that we were spoiled last year with an outstanding PK.

DTP: Special Teams looks to be THE "theme" this year.

RWD: I think coaches say that every year. They are always a key element of the game and no team is very successful without good special teams. I think the big problem is if there are more penalties on both sides that more guys need to be ready to fill those roles. Many guys play on both the PP and the PK and we really don't want to kill them.

DTP: The extra-emphasis this year on stick-related offenses is an adjustment all the players will have to make.

RWD: Those Canadians sure were confused during the exhibition games. "Thaaaat's a penalty, eh?"

DTP: What would be more fun --- me coming to Final Five ... or you coming to Anchorage for a series?

RWD: You coming to the Final Five. The Final Five is Holy Week, Donald. I will at some point come to Anchorage I am sure, but the Final Five is so awesome.

DTP: I meant more fun from your perspective.

RWD: That is my perspective.

DTP: I have no doubt I'd have more fun at the Final Five than I would chauffering you around Anchorage. [Like I would get into a car with Donald. I’ve seen The Bone Collector.]

RWD: On your moose. Or your... what did you call it... snow "machine?"

DTP: You should know that if you're a McCainiac

RWD: He is my hero.

DTP: Lovely.

RWD: Are you sure you want to have that on your blog? Aren't you afraid people might be a little enlightened? [LOOK OUT, LIBERAL MEDIA!!! HERE I AM!!!! A NON-OLD, UTTERLY STUNNING AND BRILLIANT CONSERVATIVE!!!]

DTP: I'm not concerned about your political leanings on my blog. Anything I say overwhelms it. Enlightened and Sarah Palin are not three words you'd normally see together.

RWD: My word is like the word of God.

DTP: Then tell me Yahweh .... what are the final scores this weekend?

RWD: You're done already? That's IT?

DTP: What? ‘Cos I asked the final scores? [Have you not read a Gauntlet before? Freaking amateur!] Don’t assume.

RWD: Okay, then. I was concerned. [I wasn’t done basking in my own self-importance.] 4-3 tUMD, 4-0 tUMD. Jacky with a goal. Fuzzy with 2.
DTP: LOL [Not sure what’s funny.]

RWD: I went above and beyond there.

DTP: Will you be watching on the web?

RWD: Probably. Is that naughty Santa going to be on?

DTP: I don't know who is advertising this year. I don't watch it much ya know. [Oh yah you betcha!]

DTP: How is UAA's stream compared to others?

RWD: It is great compared to any of the crap I see on B2. Like CC's floating tiger head, for example.

DTP: That thing is psychologically damaging I fear. When was the last time you and Bethlyn were stumble-down drunk together?

RWD: We never have been. I don't think I've ever been drunk in her presence.

DTP: Sigh ... boring. [This is not Penthouse Forum, Donald.]

RWD: I know. When I visited her I came down with bronchitis almost immediately upon arrival. So I didn't drink very much. I had like I sip of something. I do not need to drink to have a good time.

DTP: But you're more fun when you do.

RWD: Eh. Possibly. I'm a really mean drunk.

DTP: It's from a Holiday Inn commercial.

RWD: I have a DVR. I don't watch commercials.

DTP: Naturally. Can I ask an Entourage question?

RWD: I don't watch that either. [I think I’d prefer a commercial.]

DTP: Of course. Shouldn't you really just turn into a Gopher fan? I mean ... isn't that how it works down there?

RWD: I don't see the point. I cannot WAIT to see tDogs win their first NC. No Gopher fan can say that. The[ Gophers] are not the Borg. Resistance is not futile. Not as many people in Minneapolis are Gopher hockey fans as you might think. I mean, Donald, if I was going to be a Gopher fan, I would be. I was born (technically) on campus at the UMTC medical center. You can't get any more into the heart of Gopher country than that.

DTP: Hence my question.

RWD: But I grew up a Dogs fan. It's hereditary. I'd be disowned. Also I went to another big 10 school. [MICHIGAN SUCKS!!!!]

DTP: What team do you dislike (hate) most?

RWD: St. Cloud.

DTP: Are you as apathetic as me about Mankato?

RWD: No. I'm semi-pro Mankato. I have a lot of family there. But I can see how someone might be that way.

DTP: I'm trying to work up more hatred for them but I find them boring.

RWD: Juttz sucks. His wife is my idol though. [The mother of all cougars!!!]

DTP: What about UND? Where are they on your list?

RWD: I could not possibly care less about UND. They bore me.

DTP: Denver?

RWD: Denver is a force to be reckoned with this year.

DTP: Colorado College?

RWD: CC had better get on their horse and figure out if they're going to be a great team. Because, um, 1-0 against UAH?

DTP: UAH's goalie stood on his head.

RWD: They will be on the top 3 in the league but they need to transcend to the macrocosm if they're going to go anywhere. Great teams win those games by lots of goals. I am overly critical, but whatever. [What the heck do I care? We will take them down.]

DTP: Are you happy to get a new rink before UAA?

RWD: I am happy to get a new rink sooner rather than later. It would be nice if UAA got one, too, but I didn't feel any competitive vibes.

DTP: I recall you expressing suicide as an alternative if UAA were to get a rink before you guys

RWD: I am prone to hyperbole. And poor memory.

DTP: Ever had chicken-pox?

RWD: Yes, on Christmas. I gave it to my mom, too.

DTP: Ouch... you [female dog].

DTP: Did you cut your bangs to match Sarah's "do"?

RWD: My hair is curly and so it wouldn't really look the same. I'm actually growing it out. I got it cut kind of short when Bethlyn was here in March and felt regret. I'm actually thinking of maybe dying it white like McCain [I would look hot] for solidarity.

DTP: Make sure you use the same dye he does.

RWD: I'm sorry, is this a hockey interview? You're making it seem like I care about politics. This is not an impression I like to give.

DTP: Compare this year’s Bulldog offense to last year’s.

RWD: This year >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> last year. What else can I say? I mean... last year was just sort of a mess.

DTP: Just trying to steer it back to hockey after your politics meltdown. Are the t'dogs a 2 line or 3 line team?
RWD: Right now they are a 2 line team but they will probably become a 3 line team.

DTP: How many games do you think Stalock will play this year?

RWD: Almost all of them. I'm thinking like 40.

DTP: Do you think that will leave the team in a bit of a spot next year if Stalock doesn't return?

RWD: No, I think Brady is going to be a great goalie for us.

DTP: But Sandy won't play him much this year? Wouldn't it be a good idea to play the backup versus UAA this weekend?

RWD: I think Stalock is the horse that Sandy is going to ride. I would have thought we would see Brady last weekend. I wonder what would have happened if we had... [Love you Al, but for reals homey, that was not your best game.]

DTP: UAA goes to UMD to play on the last WCHA weekend this season. Will you be at those games?

RWD: I might. If I have school I won't.

DTP: What is your earliest memory of a Seawolf?

RWD: It's fairly vague. When I was young we would sometimes go up to my grandparents’ cabin on weekends in the winter and we would watch tUMD games on a super old tv. And sometimes those games would involve UAA. Now a whole generation of children will be deprived of that because tUMD is no longer on TV.

DTP: Do you miss Sertie?

RWD: I don't, I think it's great for him to enjoy retirement.

DTP: Does Sertie attend games at the DECC?

RWD: I don't know. Maybe? We're not BFFs.

DTP: Shouldn't that be BFsF?

RWD: No. It's just like when people say RsBI in baseball. I mean, I guess technically I should say BFF.

DTP: lol

RWD: But a "BFF" is kind of a noun, so it's pluralized as is.

DTP: You take the dumb questions so seriously. [If I didn’t take the dumb questions seriously, there would be none to take seriously.]

RWD: I feel strongly about this subject, actually. I can't stand when people type RsBI. Or "ribbies."

DTP: You are truly the Acronym Queen.

RWD: I love them. The Gophers Invite Cupcakes So We Don't Get Embarrassed At Our Own Tournament is just too long to type. GICSWEDGEAOOT is better. It almost says "Swede" in the middle. Damn that's not right.

DTP: Ultra-cool almost.

RWD: GICSWDGEAOOT. There we go.

DTP: I pay "homage" [Why is homage in quotations? I’m sure because Donald is probably pronouncing it in some foreign way.] to your love of acronyms when I can on my blog ... ever notice?

RWD: You have a blog? It's hard to tell what you're writing. You need more white space.

DTP: Yeah I know... all those words are a problem

RWD: The problem is, they are boring. No offense. [Hee]

DTP: None taken. But they aren't boring.

RWD: I'm sure to a Seawolf fan, they might not be.

DTP: They are each useful and important to make the necessary point. I'm all out of prewritten questions.

RWD: Those were prepared in advance???

DTP: A few were.

RWD: Not as easy as it looks, is it? Bow to the master.

DTP: Let me find a mirror. [Gotta look nice when you genuflect!]

RWD: So are you going to continue this interview or what?

DTP: I thought I'd just let you dangle there and decide.

RWD: Man did I ever get off easy.

DTP: Your offense at certain lines of questions kept it short.

RWD: I'm just not overly political. Also, the Gauntlet's main purpose is offense.

DTP: This isn't the Gauntlet. [No you-know-what, Sherlock.] It's a Gauntlet rip-off

RWD: It is.

DTP: It walks like the Gauntlet, it talks like the Gauntlet, but it is not the Gauntlet. Typing Gauntlet three times is hard. [But four is comparatively easier.]

RWD: It doesn't really talk like the Gauntlet.

DTP: More evidence that it is not the gauntlet then eh? [Friggin’ Canadian.] I gots to run to pick up dinner. [Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit, foo!]

RWD: Oh, did someone drive by your house and hit a rodent?

And… scene!

Debut

tUMD 5, WMU 2

I'm in Duluth! Hooray! And actually connected to the internet! Which is a plus! Although, I can't connect on my own computer, which is depressing. I can't update my glorious spreadsheet of numbers.

I had some struggles on the way up. I was pretty excited to get on the road (once I finally got my gear in order... it took awhile, but it didn't really matter since without the Grandma's luncheon, it didn't matter so much what time I arrived), and when I drive by myself, I usually rock out pretty hard to some music. If you were to drive alongside of me, you would probably do a double take, or at least laugh. Yes, I really am screaming along to the songs. Anyway, as soon as I got on 169, I turned on an 80s rock mix I had made to get myself pumped up for the games! As if I needed any assistance, but still. The first song on was "Eye of the Tiger" which is a fairly moto song... Well, I was so excited to get on the road that I missed my usual exit at 694 (I was just so excited to go north I forgot I needed to go east, too) and didn't realize it until I was at a really long stoplight and couldn't figure out why. Oops. I called around trying to find someone to help me get back on track, and who comes to my rescue? Well, the guy who rescues people on a fairly regular basis: Fire Helmet Guy. Of course, by the time he got back to me, I had already implemented a plan (find a major road that runs east-west and get on it), but it was still nice of him to help me out. I can't believe I actually said something nice that didn't have some hidden insult to it. I'm growing as a person right before your eyes.

FHG also filled me in on the Dubay situation. My initial reaction was a laugh but really, it's more sad than anything. I won't discuss it here, as it really has nothing to do with tUMD other than when he said we were terrible and I yelled at him about it and then made him pose with me for a picture. I look totally deranged in that photo.

I talked to DA as well and he mentioned the polls and their utter failure. We freaking smoked Northern and we're not even ranked yet? He seemed appalled. I commented that we get no respect, no regard neither. tDogs are the Rodney Dangerfield of the hockey world.

Once I got to Duluth I was welcomed by a huge ship going out, which was nice. I don't usually go out of my way to try to catch a ship coming in or anything, but if it's there, yeah I'm going to watch it and take photos. I forgot to take photos at the game, sadly. Whoopsie. Then I went over to tDECC to buy my tickets (which took forever since I was buying for tonight, tomorrow night, and the Wisconsin games, and in different quantities) and saw the guys running their laps around the concourse. Some cute little kid that was probably playing in the Little Chippers game saw them and was like "Is that the team?" and he was all atwitter. Well, so was I, but I was more discreet. See, I have restraint. You were all thinking I'd be over there with my nose pressed against the glass slobbering over them. Well HA! I wasn't. I couldn't really tell who anyone was except Bordson because he has that terrible bleached hair. I think I recognized Josh Meyers too. Maybe. Who cares. I know you all don't.

OF COURSE I pregamed at the Curling Club, which involved a dice game, Jag Bombs, and loudness. Lots of loudness. The good thing about DHG is he is louder than me. I know most people would say that's not a good quality, but I'm sometimes self-conscious about my loudness, especially if I am loud near a bunch of quiet people, so it was nice to be around someone else loud. I had to buy a shot for this drinking game and the bartender did not know how to make it. I had to use a lifeline.

We made it to the game just in time for the puck drop, which is fine with me. It was just so great to see my 'Dogs back in action!!! Of course I was getting all hot and bothered every time JCON touched the puck because I soooo want to see him score a goal, but he is such a great set-up man that if he never scored a goal but got an assist in every game I would not put him on notice. THREE ASSISTS!! THREE!!! AMAZING!!! I thought someone had injured him at one point and was ready to cut a bitch, but he ended up being ok. I'm already hearing comparisons between Evan Schwabe and him, and we all know how I feel about Evan...

As for the game winning goal... well, I know that B2 wasn't working nor was the audio feed online, but oh baby, it was a highlight reel goal... if there were actually highlights one could reel. But NO. The only hockey on TV in Duluth tonight was some stupid game in some hick town in Western MN. Mike Connolly made an absolutely sick move to the net and beat the goalie, plain and simple. I was so depressed that it was in the second period because it was at the other end of the rink so I didn't have a close-up view, but I could watch that play over and over and over and over again and love it more each time.

Justin Fontaine continues to bring the amazingness I knew he'd be bringing. That's all I have to say on that. 2 goals, the first one not even two minutes into the game (Remember when that used to be us, giving up early goals? Well, not anymore!) and the second on the power play.

When the game ticked down to its final minutes, the Broncos decided to pull their goalie. I happen to think it was a futile effort (we just rock too hard to let them come back) but it also showed a lot of character on their team's part. They weren't just going to roll over and die, and I think it's difficult to keep that focus when you lose a lot of games. Granted it is early in the season but it's not like last year they were tearing it up in the CCHA. We took a timeout shortly after that and DHG and Boody decided that it was to set up Stalock for a goal. We were pretty excited and started screaming at him that we wanted a goal. The three of us are pretty loud and the DECC isn't all that big so I know that he heard us. I mean, we were practically the only people left in tDECC anyway. Which is another issue altogether. When we're losing, I guess I can kind of see leaving early, but when we win, we should be cheering at the end!! A win is a beautiful thing and should be basked in!!!

Anyway, Stalock didn't get a chance to score because Nick Kemp had to go and ruin everything and get the empty netter instead. My companions were not pleased. I do think it would be totally amazing for Stalock to get a goal. We gave Nick a little razzing. But Nick! We kid because we love!!

My main criticism of tonight's effort is the 3rd period. A TWO GOAL LEAD IS NOT A SAFE LEAD! IT IS NOT. AT ALL. EVER. I've made every formatting change I could to try to emphasize this point. The boys seemed to sit back on their heels a bit (not all of them, I still saw some guys out there hustling) and seemed content with the game as it was. Our defense seemed to break down toward the end. WMU had 11 SOG through two periods and we let them get 12 in the 3rd. That should not have happened. We should have continued to attack. We may be Bulldogs but we need to behave like pit bulls some times. Rabid pit bulls. Both of Western's goals were on the power play, which is a bummer because usually our PK is so good, but sometimes if a team has a strong PK it makes them a little less concerned about taking penalties, and if a team takes a lot of penalties, eventually they're going to give up some PPGs. We did survive a 2-man advantage unscathed, though.

For tomorrow night, I'm hoping adjustments are made and we see a much tighter game, similar to the differences between the Lake State game and the Northern game. The guys played so-so against Lake State, made adjustments, and came out flying against the Wildcats. I'm thinking maybe another shut-out? Or is that too much to ask?

The Numbers
Wins until we equal last season's total: 9 (STILL non-conference)
Points until we equal last season's total: 23 (STILL ditto)

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 5! (Assisted on the AMAZING GWG and the ENG)
Jack Connolly: 3! (Hat trick of assists!!! SO HOTTT!!!!)
Michael Gergen: 1! (And it was an assist, Chris. An ASSIST!)
Rob Bordson: 0 (Looked so cute running around the DECC for warmups, though!)

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 5!
Jack Connolly: 3!
Scott Kishel: 0
Brady Lamb: 0
Travis Oleksuk: 0
David Grun: ###

On Notice:
Still nobody, but some guys had better kick it into gear or they will be!

Perspectives

tUMD 2, Weird Bird Mascots 2

The funny thing about ties is, I'm THRILLED with a tie if we were losing, and PISSED if we were winning. Tonight is a bit of an anomaly, as we had a charitable donation from the umpires in overtime. A FIVE ON THREE IN OVERTIME is like HALLEY'S COMET. We wasted it, and I will be dead in 75 years when it comes around next. Well, maybe not. That would be amazing. I would be the oldest tUMD fan in the DECC. I'm sure I'd have awesome seats (since who else would have seniority on me?) and I'd have a crocheted blanket over my knees and crazy horn-rimmed glasses and a megaphone to make sure those blankety-blank referees can still hear me. Except you can better believe that at 100 years old, I will not be saying blankety-blank. It will be the real deal. Who's going to stop me? I will cut them.

The 5x3 in question was the second 5x3 of the game, and as Josh Meyers and Evan Oberg teamed up to put the puck in the net a few minutes into the 3rd period, it was too much to ask that we score TWICE on a 5x3 in one game. I mean, it was miraculous that we even scored ONCE on a 5x3. In fact, considering the beginning of the game, it was miraculous that we SCORED a GOAL. We seemed a bit... discombobulated. Twiterpated. Bamboozled. I was stressed. And also not wearing pants.

I know that Donald probably died a thousand deaths at the idea that we had a shootout tonight. I'm fine with it, as it didn't decide the game, although it would have been awesome if it had, since Justin Fontaine and Alex Stalock combined to rock the shoot-out. Such as it was. But we would have won! It was a moral victory, I suppose.

I'm sure Northern Michigan is going to be all tired out by their excessive scoring in their game against Tech (sorry MEg) and we will be wiping the ice with them. I have 2 exams tomorrow so we need to win or I'll probably explode.

Also, weirdly, my mathematical post was quite prophetic. Except we both scored exactly 2 goals.

The Numbers (for reals now!)
Wins until we equal last season's total: 9 (non-conference)
Points until we equal last season's total: 23 (ditto)

My Guys

MacGregor Sharp: 1! (Got us on the board! On the PP!)

Rob Bordson: 0 (Not even in the shootout.)
Jack Connolly: 0
Michael Gergen: 0 (Sadly injured and not playing; would most certainly have scored had he been in the game!)

Freshmen

Mike Connolly: 1!
Jack Connolly: 0

Brady Lamb: 0

David Grun: DNP
Scott Kishel: DNP

Travis Oleksuk: DNP