Summer Nights

Okay, I know, I haven't written in a long time. 72 days, if you want a little precision. Which, let's face it, you don't, because it's not like you were wondering "Dang, when is she going to post again?"

Well, maybe one or two people were wondering. And they're not going to like this post anyway. So ha ha.

Things have occurred, like tUMD has a new coach, and Drew Olson was taken in the draft, and Carroll, Greer and Meyers were selected as the three captains of the 2009 NCAA Men's Ice Hockey Champions. You heard it here first. I also went to a game of the MN 4 on 4 Hockey League with MEg and was burned again (you may recall my first encounter with this sham of a league) by a lack of consistency between the online roster and the players present. We were, of course, looking for Casey Borer, MEg's ex-fiance. He's a member of the All-St. Cloud All-Night Competitive Eating team, but yet the only guy there we even remotely recognized was Brent Borgen, and who cares about him? There was another team playing, and they did have another notable player in Derrick LaPoint, but I don't really care about UND players other than Chris Porter. MEg had even brought a sign and we were going to reminisce with Casey about the old days. If the games weren't free to attend I'd definitely be contacting the BBB about this bait and switch operation. I'm never going back there again, even if they are trying to tempt me by setting up the Primerica team with FOUR current Bulldogs, a Bulldog alumnus, AND Ryan Carter. I'm sure they'll end up substituting in the Pee-Wee C Team from Brooklyn Center, and I'll have to wear a bullet-proof vest and pack heat.

What's INTERESTING and FABULOUS is this amazing new television show on Comcast Channel 120, otherwise known as SOAPNET. Just like General Hospital is an insight into what it's really like to work in a hospital, or The Young and the Restless is a snapshot of the lifestyle of a cosmetics executive, or Days of Our Lives showing us the day to day existence of the demonically possessed, MVP: He Shoots, She Scores is a gripping, true-to-life (I can only assume) serial drama about the lives and loves of professional hockey players. I think it's good for all of us to watch it so we can understand what happens to our superstars after they leave the college ranks and go pro. I'm wondering who from the WCHA was voted Most Likely to Stand Trial for Sexual Assault After Being Caught Videotaping His Sexual Encounter With a Girl He Had Previously Had a 3-way With While Being Haunted by the Ghost of the Wife and Daughter He Killed in a Car Wreck When He Was Driving High on Cocaine? Maybe Bickel? Or perhaps Brock Trotter? And which player is going to leave his weird trailer-park crimped-hair girlfriend and her senile grandmother back in Canada to pose in his underwear for some photo shoot and do ballet with the possibly underage daughter of the team's now-dead captain in her home which he bought and moved into while her mother works at a convenience store and sells weird apple juice smoothie drinks with her dead husband's hockey card on them? The smart money is on Wheeler there. And either Gabe Guentzel or Tony Lucia could end up as the sex maniac attempting to reform himself so he can sleep with a virgin preschool teacher while testifying that he was the guest star in the aforementioned 3-way and trying to fill the skates of the dead captain while preventing his dad/head coach from falling off the wagon (hint: it's too late!) and preventing the slutty reporter from finding out AND from getting into bed with him.

After that scintillating plot recap, I expect you all to be watching. Thursday nights at 10 p.m. central time.