How To Win A National Championship

in ten easy steps

Hear ye! Hear ye! The UMD Bulldogs are officially out of the basement!

That's the Good News.

The Bad News: we need the Non-Evil Huskies to prevent the Gophers from winning the league, or else we'll be travelling to that big trailer park out west to face the Evil Huskies. And we don't want that, for a multitude of reasons.

We need to keep it together in the next few weeks, because March hockey is the most important hockey of all. (Yes, I realize April is when the Frozen Four is, but you can't have April hockey without March hockey.)

Here's the plan.

I. Kick Wisconsin while they're down. They were just swept by Tech, and they're vulnerable. Go for the jugular!

IIa. Draw St. Cloud in the play-offs. Roll in, silence Kronick, and knock them out of the Final Five. We're overdue for a win against them. I like our chances in a best-of-three.
IIb. Draw the Gophers in the play-offs. Swoop down on the John and continue the Gophers' playoff woes. We played them hard back in November, and they had to cheat to win. They don't have Crazy anymore, and if they were to end up in second, they would be a demoralized team.

III. Dominate whoever we face in the play-in game. Take no prisoners.

IV. Friday night, kill the #1 seed. We'll have already knocked off either St. Cloud or UMTC, so we'll just knock the other one off.

V. Become the first winner of the play-in game to win the Final Five.

VI. With out auto-bid, win the regional semi-final (preferrably with a shut-out, like we did in 2004.)

VII. Win regional final.

VIII. Hold 3-goal lead in Frozen Four semis this time around.

IX. Hoist our first National Championship banner.

X. Riot. (Optional.)

Next year: repeat steps IV-IX.

9 more wins, baby! (Though 11 would be nice...)

The S Word

Sadly, I was working tonight, just in case someone needed to run out and buy something completely needless, despite the relentless snow. So, I missed out on the awesomeness that was tonight.

RWD would like to extend a standing ovation to senior goaltender Josh Johnson for his shutout tonight, the second of his Bulldog career. Believe it or not, Josh has a winning record, in the conference as well as overall. I know he's struggled through some things during his career, and I am glad to see him man up to the task.

The other story of the night is Kemper the Wrecker, with two goals, one being an unassisted shorthanded goal to get the 'Dogs on the board. I'm sure those crazy ladies we met in Denver were screaming their lungs out for you, Nick.

Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: DONE!
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: DONE!

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 30! (Excellent! Off notice!)
Michael Gergen: 15
Mike Curry: 13
Matt McKnight: 8! (It's about time!)
Jason Garrison: 2 (Any time now, buddy!)

Freshmen Competition:
Akins: 10
Fulton: 9! (Listened to my direction!)
Stalock: 4
Gorsalitz: 2
Palm: 1
C. Ryan: 1

On Notice:
Mike Curry: GD 15
Drew Akins: GD 16 PD 5
Trent Palm: GD 23 PD 23
Ryan Geris: GD 33 PD 4
Travis Gawryletz: GD 34
Matt Greer: GD 11 PD 11
Jeff McFarland: GD 10 PD 10
Jay Cascalenda: GD 10 PD 10
Michael Gergen: GD 7
Jordan Fulton: GD 6
Josh Meyers: GD 4

Mr. McGregor's Garden

With pitchfork in hand, Bryan McGregor certainly kicked some butt tonight, getting 2 of the 3 Bulldog goals. Would I have loved it if McGregor had found his scoring touch, oh, say, two seasons ago? Or even last season? Yes. But it isn't too late for Mr. McGregor to lead the charge over the Peter Rabbits of this world. I'm ready for Bryan to pull a Buster Stapleton and lead us to a Final Five.

Time for the stick salute tomorrow night, boyos.

Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: DONE!
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: DONE!

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 29!
Michael Gergen: 15 (Missed a breakaway, booo!)
Mike Curry: 13 (Great chances!)
Matt McKnight: 7
Jason Garrison: 2

Freshmen Competition:
Akins: 10
Fulton: 8
Stalock: 4
Gorsalitz: 2 (Gives new meaning to the term "Crash the Net")
Palm: 1
C. Ryan: 1

(Dear freshmen, get your butts in gear and score.)

On Notice:
Nick Kemp: GD 11 PD 6
Mike Curry: GD 13
Drew Akins: GD 14 PD 4
Trent Palm: GD 21 PD 21
Ryan Geris: GD 31 PD 4
Travis Gawryletz: GD 32
Matt McKnight: GD 9 PD 4
Matt Greer: GD 9 PD 9
Jeff McFarland: GD 8 PD 8
Jay Cascalenda: GD 8 PD 8
Michael Gergen: GD 6
Matt Niskanen: GD 6
Jordan Fulton: GD 6 PD 6
Mason Raymond: GD 4
Josh Meyers: GD 4

New Blogger in Anchorage?

I was reading the Anchorage Daily News today (as its one of the dozens of newspapers I read cover to cover on a daily basis, so I can keep up on what's going on in the Narrow World of College Hockey), and I came across an ad for a new blogger for the Seawolves. I didn't know they were looking, as I thought Donald had it covered, but apparently not.

You see, apparently when I interviewed Donald for The Gauntlet back in November, I inadvertently made public a potentially damaging fact about him. You see, Donald was not born in the United States. He is, at his own admission, "100% Scottish blood." I guess he didn't realize that this admission would come back to haunt him.

Months later, Donald's blogging visa is expiring (he is currently working under an H1-Blog visa), and he needs to apply for a green card to keep on blogging. However, the Internet needs to prove that there aren't any United States citizens who are also qualified for and interested in the job. I think Donald probably assumed he was safe, since he has been doing such a great job covering the Seawolves.

However, UAA athletic director has to prove that Donald is uniquely qualified for the job, and prove why the other applicants are unable to meet the job's requirements.

Other applicants include:
Dirty (unqualified, Craig Dahl-like candidate)
Frank Bretti (revenge)
Troy Ward (more revenge)
Puck Swami (possible dark horse)
DGGoddard (also a foreigner)
Dude Love (totally unqualified, must have opposable thumbs and walk upright in order to apply)
Rabid Husky (ditto)
Walsky's mom (possibly going to bring down the blog from the inside?)
John Hill (revenge, the third)
RWD (as a joke)
Doyle Woody (Donald's archnemesis)

Since there are so many applicants, and they are spread far and wide, the interview process will most likely be a lengthy one. Donald had better come out with some good posts in the coming weeks, if he wants to keep his job.

I'll keep you posted, folks.

Milestone

I was going to title this post Beta Blockers because that's seriously what I need, but there's a more pressing issue here.

I don't know why no one bothered to tell me my Numbers were totally jacked up, but they were. (Actually, Ciskie told me, but not until later
LAST YEAR we were 11-25-4 overall, and 6-19-3 in the conference.
AS OF TONIGHT we are 10-17-4 overall, and 6-14-3 in the conference.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
It means we are ONE WIN away from matching our overall win total from last year, and we just TIED OUR CONFERENCE POINTS FROM LAST YEAR. SO TAKE THAT, RANDOM COMMENTER WHO SAID I SHOULD STOP BLOGGING BECAUSE THE 'DOGS HAVE GOTTEN WORSE EVERY YEAR SINCE I STARTED BLOGGING. HA.

I'm sure that person doesn't read the site anymore. But oh well.

Also, recruiting genius Chris Heisenberg put another recruit on the board for UMD: Camrose's Mike Connolly (forward). Mike is a huge pickup for the Dogs, and we are definitely happy to have him coming here. Congratulations to the coaching staff on picking up such a quality recruit. Scott Kishel (defenseman) of Virginia-MIB also verbally committed to tDogs earlier this week. Sounds like a great, skilled defender who will be good on the PP.

Solid game tonight for tDogs, could have been a win for either team, but we did get a point on a Friday, now finish it off with 2 on Saturday!

Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: DONE!
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: DONE!

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 28 (Great hard hits!)
Michael Gergen: 15! (So hot!)
Mike Curry: 13! (Excellent falling down assist!)
Matt McKnight: 7
Jason Garrison: 2 (WELCOME BACK, BABY!!)

Freshmen Competition:
Akins: 10
Fulton: 8
Stalock: 4
Gorsalitz: 2
Palm: 1
C. Ryan: 1

On Notice:
Nick Kemp: GD 9 PD 4
Mike Curry: GD 11
Drew Akins: GD 12
Trent Palm: GD 19 PD 19
Ryan Geris: GD 29
Travis Gawryletz: GD 30 PD 11
Matt McKnight: GD 7
Matt Greer: GD 7 PD 7
Jeff McFarland: GD 6 PD 6
Jay Cascalenda: GD 6 PD 6
Michael Gergen: GD 4
Matt Niskanen: GD 4
Jordan Fulton: GD 4 PD 4

Okay 'Dogs, let's get that WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gooning It Up

In a RWD first, North Dakota's premier blogger Goon gives us his perspective on former UND player and coach Scott Sandelin. (BTW, he's our current head coach.) You can also read what I wrote on his blog, although it has nothing to do with Dave Hakstol.

Sioux Fans Still Have Fond Memories of Sandelin
I think it would be safe to say that Fighting Sioux fans have fond memories of current UMD coach Scott Sandelin. Scott Sandelin (the player) played for the Fighting Sioux from 1982 to 1986, playing in 149 games, scoring 16 goals and adding 77 assists for 93 points. Sandelin left UND after 4 years and went on to play professionally in the NHL, AHL, and IHL. During his professional career, Scott Sandelin had a cup of coffee in the NHL, where Sandelin played in 25 NHL games with the Minnesota North Stars, Philadelphia Flyers and Montreal Canadians, scoring no goals and adding 4 assists for 4 points.

The Coach
Scott Sandelin was an assistant coach under Dean Blais the last time the Fighting Sioux won the national championship during the 1999-2000 season. In 2000 Sandelin left The University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux after experiencing a national title to take over the reins of the University of Minnesota Duluth Bulldogs hockey program from former coaching legend Mike Sertich. Since taking over the reins of the Minnesota Duluth Bulldogs, Sandelin has a record of 106 (W) –139 (L) –29 (T). Bulldog fans are beginning to become restless: since Sandelin took the Bulldogs to a 2004 Frozen Four, the Bulldogs have had three losing season in a row.
This season there seems to be a current theme that is consistent all over the Internet among Bulldogs fans, seems they are fed up with the current state of their Bulldog team and they are beginning to call for Sandelin's head. This puzzles me; I believe firing Sandelin would be a mistake and there is no guarantee a new coach would be able to change the fortune of the Bulldog hockey team without the team getting an new arena. In my opinion the Bulldogs need a new arena to be successful in winning the recruiting battles with the bigger WCHA schools. For now, Sandelin appears to be safe as all indications are that the UMD athletic department will not fire Sandelin after the current season because Sandelin signed a new multi year contract in this past summer during the offseason. Also, word has it that the UMD’s athletic department is strapped for cash and doesn’t have enough money to buy out his contract.
Sandelin’s best season coaching in Duluth was during the 2003-2004 season, where Sandelin led the Bulldogs to the Frozen Four before bowing out to eventual national champion Denver University. Coming into this season, many WCHA fans thought UMD had turned the corner and would be a force this season in the WCHA season race. This optimism was brought on after the Bulldogs, who had about 12 freshmen playing in their line up, made the 2006 Final Five by bouncing defending national champion Denver out of the WCHA playoffs in three games, and ending the Pioneers's NCAA title hopes. All I can say is thank you very much. Nate Ziegelmann led the charge in the post season and led the team to St. Paul.
After Dean Blais left the University of North Dakota during the summer after the 2003-2004 season to coach for Columbus of the NHL, there was a buzz around Grand Forks about who should be the next coach of the Fighting Sioux. There were a fair number of fans that were calling for Sandelin to return to the Fighting Sioux. I have to admit that I was one of fans that was hoping Sandelin would make a return to the program. I was disappointed when the University of North Dakota appointed Hakstol coach without even having a national search for a head coach, to this day you will still hear grumbling around Grand Forks about this subject, but it was muted after Hakstol took the Sioux to two Frozen Fours. That talk resurfaced again this season after the Fighting Sioux got off to a rough start. I just believe that Sandelin is a good coach and is doing a great job in a very competitive league. From top to bottom the WCHA is best league in the NCAA hockey; the margin for error is very small as we can see from this year's standings.

Goon is a loyal reader of Runnin' with the Dogs blog and would like to thank RWD for the opportunity to contribute to an awesome blog.

Be Mine

Today, I opened up my paper bag decorated with hearts and Cupids, and found several Valentines from various Bulldog players. I thought I'd share them with you all, since they are so nice.




Dear RWD,
You were right about the hair.
Nisky

Dear RWD,

Thank you for making me one of your "guys." I will score a goal for you in my return to the ice this weekend. Thanks for remembering me.

Jason Garrison

Dear RWD,

I appreciated your words of encouragement during the Saturday game against Denver. I'm sorry I got kicked out, but it wasn't my fault. I didn't know Veideman was such a big baby. I was planning on scoring a goal for you, or at least getting in a fight with Paukovich, but I guess I'll have to do something awesome this weekend instead.

Big Mike

p.s. Bruce Ciskie is acting kind of creepy toward me lately. I think he likes me more than a friend.

Dear RWD,

My dad is crazy enough as it is. I wish you would stop encouraging him.

Gors

Dear RWD,

It felt really good to shove that guy in the face. I'm glad you noticed it and mentioned it on the Scott Sandelin show. I will definitely try to play more physical in the future.

Andrew Carroll

Dear RWD,

My mom's friends said you were really loud. However, so were they. Thanks for coming to Denver and supporting the team!

Kemper the Wrecker

Dear RWD,

Why do you like Mike Curry better than me? I am jealous. How do I get back to being your favorite guy? Please help.

Gergzilla

I thought it was really sweet of them to think of me on Valentine's Day! Thanks guys! Let's see a big sweep this weekend!

clip art is from http://www.kidsdomain.com/holiday/val/clip/

The Gauntlet: Filthy Edition

Not only is this Gauntlet rife with Authentic Frontier Gibberish, but it has more inside jokes than ever before. Here we go!

RWD: Okay let's do this. It's on like a beer bong (to quote Jonathon Toews).

Dirty: That was an imposter Toews in that picture.

RWD: I'm sure it was his stunt double.

Dirty: Exactly. Don't you wish UMD was good enough to have stunt doubles for their players? [No, because stunt doubles are for people who can’t do their own dirty work.] Junior Lessard really could've used one a couple years ago when he went swimming.

RWD: Oooh! [That one hurt!] This is not a normal Gauntlet, though, folks. Normally, I interview fans from the opposing team. But this week, Michigan Tech fan Dirty is in the hot seat. [Read all about it here.]

Dirty: Quite the miracle that Duluth was finally able to beat my Huskies this year at the DECC. You guys gonna hang a banner for that?

RWD: We are not St. Cloud. So, no.

Dirty: Touche. you'd have home ice if you were

RWD: I'm cool with that. Home ice isn't a necessity. UMD will not have home ice this weekend and will still provide a beat down on UND.

Dirty: That was last week with the women's team. Speaking of which, Sandy will be welcomed back with open arms to coach our womens team. He'll probably get a raise by coming back here.

RWD: Ah, so you're settling for Sandelin since you can't have Blais?

Dirty: UND can have Blais if they wanted [Yeah, I’m so sure that’s true], but we all feel bad for Sandy. We want to help raise his self-confidence again. Having to coach UMD really kills it.

RWD: I think the UND women's team record is actually worse than the UMD men's team, by a game or two. But the gals are in a rebuilding year, right?

Dirty: Have been for 5 years.

RWD: I could have sworn you were a Fighting Sioux fan, but the MTU-UMD series at tDECC shot down that rumor. Is it because you're like most UND fans, who are unsatisfied with anything less than an undefeated record and a national championship?

Dirty: Ooo? Does this mean I get to rip on all the moron Sioux fans? Awesome. I hate them with a passion. Hakstol should have been fired every year according to those idiots. They should all be beaten with a mukluk. [Mukluk. Noun. 1. A sealskin or reindeer-skin boot worn by Eskimos. 2. A boot often of duck with a soft leather sole and worn over several pairs of socks.]

RWD: I have the NCAA on speed dial, so watch what you say. How much money did you make selling "I'm not hostile and abusive" t-shirts, sweatshirts, thongs, etc?

Dirty: Much less money than I made on my Oshie shirts.

RWD: Oshie shirts?

Dirty: [Yeah right, like I’m really going to put a link in and let you make money off my site. But, they say “Got Oshie?”]

RWD: Well, next year they'll be 80% off. [UND won’t “Got Oshie?” after this season.] You are more scandalous than Lindsay Lohan, what with your recent USCHO suspension. Enlighten us on how that went down.

Dirty: MeanEgirl told me to die so I told her she's an embarassment to Tech (I should know). Obviously I'm the one who should have gotten suspended.

RWD: What was the "official reason?"

Dirty: I was trolling on the Bemidji State to the WCHA thread.

RWD: I guess in that manner, you are probably trolling about 90% of the time on USCHO. Do they pay you per post?

Dirty: Board hates me. I think they'd pay me not to post.

RWD: I mean, the only way you could get me to have 37,000 posts on a message board is for money. I wouldn't have the time otherwise.

Dirty: You bring up a good point. I should start charging. I give my brilliance [um, yeah, that’s the word] away for free. That's pretty silly of me.

RWD: You might be able to move out of Mom and Dad's basement that way, no?

Dirty: You obviously have poor sources if you think I live there. You should probably work on that.

RWD: It seems to be the general consensus on Teh Internet. But that's what The Gauntlet is about. Uncovering the Truth. [Like Fox 9 News, baby!] Why not parlay all that brilliance into The Dirty Blog? I'm surprised there isn't one.

Dirty: Where would I find the time? I've got 37,000 posts.

RWD: Well, right, instead of those posts... [Do I have to hold his freaking hand? Why doesn't he see the connection?] What do you think of the blogs around the WCHA?

Dirty: I don't read them much. I only read books recommended by Levar Burton on Reading Rainbow.

RWD: Is that because you had a bad experience with a certain blogger? The one who stole your USCHO girlfriend?

Dirty: Nope. She hated me for me. It had nothing to do with Maize. [Aka the writer behind Western College Hockey.]

RWD: Ouch. That's much worse. And now, Casey Borer has stolen [MeanEgirl].

Dirty: We both know Casey is just humoring MEg. I'm still golden.

RWD: Maybe USCHO is not the best place for meeting women... Unless you are Rabid Husky.

Dirty: Rabib's Woman with the bag over her head is HOT!

RWD: I would like to know why you are called Dirty. I mean, who voluntarily calls themselves Dirty? [Possibly someone who thinks Rabid’s Lady is hot?] Are you a Christina Aguilera fan?

Dirty: It's what the older kids called me in the neighborhood when I was younger.

RWD: Because you were... a neat freak?

Dirty: It went well with my name or something. I just went with it so I didn't get beat up.

RWD: When did you become a Fighting Sioux fan?

Dirty: When I went to my first game and watched the Hrkac Circus light up UMD. The students littered the ice with plastic cups.

RWD: I find it hard to believe that your first game was against UMD.

Dirty: It was.

RWD: Yeah right. You’re saying that for dramatic effect.

Dirty: My parents didn't have season tickets and we only went to like one game a year [with tickets] that they got from my mom's co-worker. I wanted to get a Hrkac button but they were sold out and I got stuck with Russ Romaniuk one.

RWD: Were you wearing the cape way back then?

Dirty: Nope. I stole the cape idea from a Canadian fan who was at the WJC [in 2004/2005].

RWD: Why not go all out and wear white underpants over green tights, too?

Dirty: I just might do that next year.

RWD: Which UND player would look the best in that get-up? (Meaning, who is the hottest hottie?)

Dirty: What kind of silly question is that? [T.J.] Oshie. DUH.

RWD: I knew it. Has TJ replaced Andy Schneider in your heart?

Dirty: He did that long ago. He can stop hurricanes simply by glaring at them. Schneider can't even compare. [Somewhere, Andy Schneider is crying. Or, sighing with relief.]

RWD: Mason Raymond is so fast, he can skate around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Who are your favorite players, other than TJ and Andy? Current and all-time.

Dirty: Jeff Panzer, Mike Commodore and Mike Prpich. [So he only likes Oshie from the current squad?]

RWD: You tend to like guys with interesting hair.

Dirty: Of course. It makes them stand out.

RWD: I heard a rumor [from Meg]. I heard you work for the enemy. She said you work for NDSU.

Dirty: I work on the NDSUcks campus, but don't work for NDSU. It's a subtle but very important distinction.

RWD: Why exactly do the Bison suck?

Dirty: They are hostile and abusive towards Sioux.

RWD: Like Red Baron pizza?

Dirty: Exactly like that.

RWD: Well, how about a weekend prediction for us?

Dirty: Toews singlehandedly outscores UMD.

RWD: I guess it doesn't have to be an accurate prediction.

Get Well Soon

RWD would like to wish a speedy recovery to the father of Brad over at The Decc is Stacked. It seems he had a small stroke last week. Get well soon, Brad's Dad!

It's A Long Way From This Place To Denver

It's an off week. What were you expecting, a novel? I'm sorry, but there are icicles hanging from my keyboard. It's cold here. (I hope that makes Understatement of the Millennium.)

Somewhere in the world, there is a picture of my chubby drunk badonkadonk doing the chicken dance. I feel as though no good could ever come of that. It's just not as funny as DHG ripping his shirt off and yelling SHAVE MY BACK!

I hate off weeks. I hate that 2 out of 3 weekends we've been off. That's just gross and annoying. What in the narrow world of college hockey am I going to write about?

Granted, we have some very exciting things coming up. 3 more Gauntlets (probably 4, depending on where we travel for the WCHA first round playoffs: Stearns, Hennepin, or Denver county?), a campaign message, and of course, six more recaps of six more wins! Plus, the High Holidays are nearing. It's just over a month now until the Holiest of Holy Three-Day Weekends.

I realize this is [more] boring [than my other posts], but I didn't want you people to think I forgot about you! (Actually, it's almost a guarantee it's the other way around, but I like to pretend. My psychiatrist says this blog is a healthy outlet for my delusions of mediocrity.) Trust me, this next Gauntlet is going to be one worth waiting for. Clearly, DG's promise of traffic to the site if I interviewed Puck Swami fell short of expectations (mostly because he didn't even bother to link to the interview on his site. I hope a dingo eats his baby.) This next one is a big one, though. I'll give you a hint: What's the opposite of Clean?

Gotta go fix the HTML on the rest of the posts (silly Mozilla!) before I use up my month's allotment of parentheses and brackets, and have to start using braces or just not making snarky asides altogether. AND THEN, DEAR GOD, WHAT WOULD WE DO?????

***In the meantime, learn more about Mike Curry.

1.624 Mile High Club

All right, so I'm still on vacation, 8574 feet above sea level, and I just ate a giant hamburger from the Crooked Creek Saloon, so this post is going to be A.) short B.) lame or C.) some combination of the two.

Obviously, the big story from Saturday night (at least, RWD-style) was RWD favorite Mike Curry getting a major penalty and game misconduct for his slash on Adrian Veideman. I know that no one is going to take me seriously (no one ever does!), but I'm going to forge ahead and say WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND CALLS A 5 MINUTE SLASH 5 MINUTES AFTER THE FACT???? Here's how it went down: Curry slashed Veideman (it was a blatant slash, for sure, no one is arguing that), and I guess it stung a little. Veideman cried like a baby. Curry was escorted to the box. A two-minute penalty was posted on the board. Veideman cried harder. The corpulent ref decided to change the penalty he had originally meted out, giving Curry both a 5-minute major for slashing (whaaaaaaaat?) and a game misconduct. They showed Mike the door. I wept. Veideman was awarded Best Actor in a Dramatic Miniseries.

This is where I would like to take a moment to remind you all that Denver received a mere 2-minute boarding call when a player had a broken neck after being checked from behind into the boards while touching up a puck on a delayed penalty. So you can whine all you want about how Veideman was "injured" (but somehow was out after the penalty expired and managed to clutch and grab like never before), but an injury to a player does not necessarily warrant a major penalty, unless you can prove the player did it on purpose.

That incident was a big downer for me, because I was hoping to see Big Mike in a cagematch with Paukovich at the end of the game.

BUT WE WON! WE WON! WE FREAKING WON!

I know I begged, pleaded, and cajoled the Dogs to win their last 3 games and score 21 goals, but, as Meat Loaf says, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. I am so pleased with the way our special teams played (3 power play goals! 2 shorthanded goals!), and it was great to see that empty net goal slide over the goal line with 0.5 seconds left in the game. The Dogs were fired up Saturday night, and they played hard. They played way more physical than I've seen them play in a long time, which is what I generally get down on my knees and pray for each night before a game. Yes, there were a lot of penalties, but we've heard it time and time again: good teams find ways to win. The Dogs may not be a good team every night, but they were a good team Saturday. I'm proud of the way we play Denver. I wish we could play that way against every team (how about against North Dakota???), but hey, I'm fine with playing the spoiler. For now.

I really enjoyed my time in Denver (always do), and especially enjoyed meeting DG, Puck Swami, CO14ers (sort of), Dubbie 31, and the others I may be remiss in mentioning. If I forgot you, it's not my fault, it's just the Coors you sent me killing my brain cells. There are certain fan bases that could learn a lot from the Denver fans (well, not ALL the Denver fans... not the ones who ripped their shirts off for no reason, and then wanted to fight DHG after he showed them all up with his hairiness) as far as hospitality is concerned. If you can't act like a human being to opposing fans before and after the game, then you're an embarrassment to your program. I forgot to mention one thing about DG: I have never heard a Houston-Australian hybrid accent before. And Puck Swami spent the entire second period chatting hockey with me, which surprised me, considering I'd just put him through the Gauntlet mere days before. I've never interacted with a Gauntlet victim so soon after the attack, and didn't know what to expect.

Huh. I guess the answer to the quiz above was B.) lame rather than C.) some combination of the two. We'll be back in Minnesota tomorrow, and I've got some actual posting prepared.

Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 12
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 5

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 28! (Zowie!)
Michael Gergen: 14
Mike Curry: 12 (Most certainly would have gotten another point had he not been unjustly removed from the game! Several good chances!)
Matt McKnight: 7!
Jason Garrison: 2 (with him in the lineup, I'm sure we would have swept!)

Freshmen Competition:
Akins: 10
Fulton: 8
Stalock: 4
Gorsalitz: 2
Palm: 1
C. Ryan: 1

On Notice (2/10: Fully updated now!):
Nick Kemp: GD 9
Mike Curry: GD 11
Drew Akins: GD 12
Trent Palm: GD 19 PD 19
Ryan Geris: GD 29
Travis Gawryletz: GD 30 PD 11
Matt McKnight: GD 7
Matt Greer: GD 7 PD 7
Jeff McFarland: GD 6 PD 6
Jay Cascalenda: GD 6 PD 6
Michael Gergen: GD 4
Matt Niskanen: GD 4
MacGregor Sharp: GD 4

Plowed

Did you know that it sometimes snows in Denver? Because no one here is aware. Thus, they were completely unprepared for the snow that hit Thursday night just as we were rolling in from St. Louis. We saw 2 accidents before we had even picked up our rental car! Now, in Minnesota, the plows would have been out in full force, and we would have seen clear highways in a matter of hours. This is not the case in Denver. Not only did it take us two hours to drive the 24 miles from the airport to the Pepsi Center, but the roads were not even plowed when we left the game! Unacceptable. We also witnessed a plow driving WITH THE PLOW UP. What, was he on break? RWD Denver Correspondent suggested he may have been a union guy.

The Wild game was fabulous, although it seemed the Wild were desperate to give the game away to the Avs. It was back and forth for quite awhile, until the third when the Wild went ahead 4-3, and then capped it off with an empty-netter to seal the deal. Former WCHA players Paul Stastny and Jordan Leopold were both on the ice for the Avs. DHG and wife, Crazy Canuck and Momma Crazy Canuck, and Jones and wife were all in attendance, as well as Bruce Ciskie, P-Grass, and the Bulldogs themselves. Next time we are in Denver, I also hope to go to the all-you-can-eat Brazillian steakhouse and gorge myself on meat, meat, meat.

Friday was a different story. After inadvertently ditching Ciskie for lunch (and then ditching him again today, although that's not my fault, it's the booze taking control of my life), we showed up at famed DU hangout Spanky's at 4:00 sharp, the time we had agreed upon with the other PBers. They rolled in promptly at 5:00, so The Alleged Webmaster and I had to drink alone like losers for an hour. DU celebrities started showing up in droves, including Dubbie31 (decked out in Bears gear, ew), Veideman's parents, and of course, the man himself, DG. Let me tell you, the minute that man walked in the door, one of the employees yells "GODDARD!" Let's see if I remember those SAT analogies. DG : Spanky's :: Norm : Cheers? I think that's right. Trying to sabotage my blogging, the DU table sent over wave upon wave of this local microbrew. You may have heard of it: Coors? Anyway, there is a lovely picture of me with a Coors in one hand and a tall whiskey and coke in the other hand. But the feel-good story of the night goes to Momma Crazy Canuck, who drank the bar out of Southern Comfort. It may have been a Penalty Box first.

The game... well... I'm not so pleased with the game. VERY PLEASED with Mike Curry, of course, for helping Andrew Carroll get back off notice. Good things happen when you go hard to the net. Bad things happen when high school boys give me a scoreboard check. I informed the young man that he would never, ever, ever play for DU, so he doesn't really get any credit for the score. He also showed me his muscle for some reason I can't possibly fathom, because I never gestured to him to "come up and get some." I would never strike a child. The good thing is, we didn't get completely blown out. We were in the game, definitely had a chance to tie it up. The bad thing is, we didn't.

For ACTUAL REAL CONTENT, I would love to direct you to Elliot Olshansky's totally awesome Rink Rat blog. I can't decide if his job is my dream job or worst nightmare. However, he is fabulous, a nice guy, and a much snazzier dresser than Bruce Ciskie could ever hope to be. He also has a photoset, including a picture of me looking totally bloated with booze. Crazy Canuck is next to me, and in the foreground is Momma Crazy Canuck, who was so excited for a photo op that she was reaching for her own camera rather than posing for Elliot's photo.

Well, I have to go eat some pizza before there's none left. LET'S GO 'DOGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 14
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 6

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 25!
Michael Gergen: 14
Mike Curry: 12! (Excellent!)
Matt McKnight: 6
Jason Garrison: 2 (Back for the NoDak series!!!)

Freshmen Competition:
Akins: 10!
Fulton: 8
Stalock: 4
Gorsalitz: 2
Palm: 1
C. Ryan: 1

On Notice (Semi-updated: No new additions):
Nick Kemp: GD 8
Mike Curry: GD 10
Drew Akins: GD 11
Trent Palm: GD 18 PD 18
Ryan Geris: GD 28 PD 18
Travis Gawryletz: GD 29 PD 10
Matt McKnight: GD 6
Matt Greer: GD 5 PD 5
Jeff McFarland: GD 4 PD 4
Josh Meyers: GD 4
Jay Cascalenda: GD 4 PD 4

The Gauntlet: Invalid Edition

Well, I'm getting this Gauntlet in just under the wire. It's been a rough few days, as I've been down and out with some sort of mysterious illness. DU's notorious Puck Swami was in the hospital when I tracked him down for this interview, although I think that might be because he dresses in scrubs and pretends to be a doctor.

RWD: All right, folks. We're here with DU assistant coach Steve Miller. Steve, how's the team looking this year?

Puck Swami: The Swami wishes he was Steve Miller. At least then, perhaps the players would listen to me more than they do. In the Swami's view, the team is coming around. They should be ready to play this weekend!

RWD: Some sources reported you were Coach Miller. How confusing. But, you should be breathing a sigh of relief, as known DU assassin Jason Garrison will not be in the lineup this weekend.

Puck Swami: Yeah, that was huge relief. Garrison has four career goals and all against my Pios. The killer one was that slapper in the WCHA playoffs that basically ended our season last year. Now, we've got to worry about Raymond, Nisky, Meyers, Sharp, Gergen and the rest of the boys. UMD always plays DU tough! [Could we please, please, please play EVERYONE tough?? Just ONE season???]

RWD: We hope the tradition continues. Where did you get the nickname "Puck Swami?"

Puck Swami: Good question. I had to think of a way to hide my true identity [What is it with Colorado bloggers and secrecy???], and I guess I stole the 'Swami' from Chris Berman from ESPN. I wish I could be more original, but that's the truth.

RWD: And you obviously got the "Puck" from the sprite in Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Puck Swami: I've never been a fan of that character. If I had to be a Shakespeare character, it's more likely to be Richard III or Sir Toby Belch from Twelfth Night.

RWD: DG did tell me you were a man of distinguished taste.

Puck Swami: I'd like to think I'm more well rounded than most hockey-only people assume. [Oh you would, would you?]

RWD: Speaking of DG, how would you characterize your relationship with that hack?

Puck Swami: I've known him since before you were born! [You guys are old.] He's a man with a personality as big as his toga. [Is that a burn?] Denver has no better fan!

RWD: He did insinuate that you were not a member of the human race, but were instead a weasel. How do you respond to such allegations?

Puck Swami: I not only deny the allegations, I deny the "Alli-gator." [No comprendo.]

RWD: A prominent man of letters such as yourself must be used to such slander, though.

Puck Swami: Yes, I get my share of slander. Comes with the territory.

RWD: It's just jealousy.

Puck Swami: Thanks, I think.

RWD: So, on to the snazziest coach in the WCHA. What do you think of old Gwoz?

Puck Swami: Gwoz is an amazing coach but I often question his wardrobe choices.

RWD: Really? What would you dress him in?

Puck Swami: The suits and jackets are fine, but I'd advise him to steer clear of pink ties and too much mixing of patterns and stripes - perhaps that's his strategy to confuse opponents! [I heard his wife dresses him.]

RWD: I heard you haven't always been so approving of Curious George... A Mankato incident comes to mind...
Puck Swami: If you're thinking of the 8-7 'Meltdown' game, Gwoz wasn't there - he was at Keith Magnuson's funeral. [Well, you can blame DG for that, as he was the one who suggested I bring it up.] I have questioned Gwoz's decisions before and that's part of what writing on message boards should be about. I actually think that coaches often coach better and players often play better when they have someone to "prove wrong". I'm happy to sometimes play that role. Good fans should be more than just cheerleaders.

RWD: So you're saying Gwoz "proved you wrong?" Did he come up to you and go "IN YOUR FACE, SWAMI!!!?"

Puck Swami: Gwoz would never do that - he's too far above something like that. But I know that players, parents, and coaches do read the boards and if I play a little role in helping to inspire them, I've done my job.

RWD: Inspiring parents is always key. Who would you say are your favorite players, on the current squad and all time?

Puck Swami: My favorite player on DU right now is probably Steve Cook. The kid gives it all on every shift with limited talent. [Steve, Swami just called you limited talent. I think he wants you to prove him wrong... next weekend.] I love players like that. And my all-time favorite Pioneer is definitely Kevin Dineen, who went on to a 20+ year NHL career by giving his all on every shift. That's what I value most - hard work.

RWD: But what about attractiveness? Is that a value? Who do you think is the hottest Pio right now?

Puck Swami: Mrs. Swami would say that Tyler Ruegsegger. I can't say I notice that stuff... [He was pretty quick on the draw with that question, so I don't think he actually asked Mrs. Swami.]

RWD: The DU Hottness Quotient when down significantly with the loss of 1st Team All-WCHA Hottie Matt Carle. Do you think the team misses his presence in other areas as well?

Puck Swami: And he wasn't a bad hockey player, either.

RWD: Well, that was what I was getting at with the question...

Puck Swami: It's my job as a Swami to know that. [Let's see if the Crazy Canuck posts a lecture on the meaning of "Swami."]

RWD: Do you think the guys have adjusted? I mean, you lost some other guys, too, right? Probably uggos, since I can't remember their names.

Puck Swami: Judging by number of "puck bunnnies" following the Denver team, I doubt they missed a beat!

RWD: I meant ON THE ICE. Sheesh! This is a SERIOUS INTERVIEW. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Puck Swami: Sorry. Mrs. Swami just slapped me. [Good for Mrs. Swami!]

RWD: Wow, she's fiesty. She must be Canadian or something.

Puck Swami: You bet she is. Fiesty and Canadian. That's why I married her!

RWD: I'm sure she's a big hockey fan, too.

Puck Swami: She is now. When I married her, she was the one Canadian who wasn't into hockey. She likes football.

RWD: Oh, the CFL. A real powerhouse league. Or does football mean soccer in Canada? [Sometimes these things don't translate.]

Puck Swami: She's a Saskatchewan Rough Rider fan. And football there is three downs, and a huge field - lots of passing.

RWD: Hm. I hear Mrs. Swami comes from a distinguished family of doctors, and women who married doctors.

Puck Swami: Close. She's a lawyer and her brothers and father are doctors or lawyers married to other doctors and lawyers. God knows why she married me... [Slumming, probably.]

RWD: So what happened to that little cartoon guy?

Puck Swami: The Denver Boone has been retired since 1999. He lives in the Archives of Denver's Penrose Library. I hope he's enjoying his retirement.

RWD: Was he hostile and abusive?

Puck Swami: Depends who you ask. Western Pioneers have some baggage these days.

RWD: Does CC really suck?

Puck Swami: Of course they do. Now, forever and always!

RWD: Even though their nickname is Constant Chokers, hasn't Denver been doing some choking of their own recently?

Puck Swami: Choking is relative. All teams choke sometimes. Ask Isaac.

RWD: Hey, get in line, or Mrs. Swami will have to slap you!

Puck Swami: When Isaac let in the fourth goal in the third period in 2004 in Boston, Mrs. Swami slapped my hand over the cell phone from Denver to me in the Fleet Center. It was the greatest night of my life, other than the nights I met, propos[ition]ed to and married her.

RWD: Why were you on a cell phone during a game? CORPORATE SELL-OUT!!!!

Puck Swami: I was very surprised Denver won that game, and Mrs. Swami didn't want to come to Boston to see DU lose. She did, however, come to Columbus in 2005, where she witnessed history standing next to me.

RWD: I see. Do you think Denver can go all the way this year? And by go all the way, I mean make it to the Final Five.

Puck Swami: Denver has a shot like a lot of others, especially with the regional in the back yard this year. Will they win it all? Maybe. I don't think the offense is there yet, but all you need in the NCAAs is a hot goalie [Most attractive goalie = Rob Nolan. Tech will win it all!] and four game winning streak. We'll see.

RWD: How does a team ranked #2 in the league miss the NCAA tournament? Were you that terrible in non-conference games?

Puck Swami: Yes. Princeton, Ferris [State, home of the Faux-dogs] and Garrison killed us.

RWD: We are leaving for Denver in like 7 hours. [Now more like 5 1/2. Ugh.] What's a "must-do" while in the city?

Puck Swami: Pre-Game Dinner with the DU fans at Spanky's. Seriously, bring your coat. It's cold here.

RWD: By cold what do you mean? [Bracing myself]

Puck Swami: It's a Duluth-like 15 degrees right now. [I think Duluth would be thrilled to have 15-degree weather.]

RWD: Current weather in Minneapolis: 8 degrees. Feels like: -8. [That's Fahrenheit, for you Canucks.]

Puck Swami: You'll fit right in then!

RWD: Ugh. I was hoping it would be warmer!

Puck Swami: Maybe by the weekend, we'll see. Maybe see you Saturday?

RWD: I'll be around. Autograph signing is between 7:01 and 7:04. How about a weekend prediction for the people in the cheap seats?

Puck Swami: Split. [Pansy.]

Well, posting here at RWD is going to be light for the next few days, possibly even non-existent. See you all in February!

Postcards from RWD, Vol 7: Other Teams Edition

Dear Kyle Okposo,

Do you ever wonder if you made the wrong decision about where you wanted to go to school? Duluth is such a beautiful city. You would be really popular there. We could get married. Please consider transferring.

Sincerely,
Runninwiththedogs

Dear UAA Head Coach Applicants,

Very funny! This is a great practical joke! Coach Shyiak is going to laugh his badonkadonk off when he finds out he's on Candid Camera, or that show all the kids are watching, Punked. I think playing jokes on your colleagues is a great idea, it fosters a fun and productive working environment. We've seen great examples of jocularity around the league. Who can forget when Mike Eaves and his players were pretending to be pro-wrasslers, and he threw a chair? Hilarious! And when Gwoz did that balancing act last year? Priceless! And John Hill's monkeyshines with the UAA coaching job? We're still laughing about that one!
I know when I turned in my application for the head coach position, I was totally fooling around. I'm sure he'll pull out a whoopee cushion or something when he comes back around this way. You must be fooling around, too. Because otherwise, it would be pretty ridiculous. Sketchy. Devious. Conniving. Un-American. Things that no one wants in a hockey coach. (Okay, maybe "Un-American" is how we got this party started in the first place.) So come on, you've had your fun. Joke's over! Cue Dom DeLuise!

In Jest,
Runninwiththedogs

Yesterday

I know, it was pretty pathetic of me to cop out last night and only post the Numbers. I know you were all dying to hear about my trip to Duluth to see my beloved Bulldogs, and all I gave you was some simple math. You probably thought, Come on, a chimpanzee could have posted that. But come on, people. You know that chimpanzees are too busy posting on this site to bother with a RWD update.

Do you all remember the scene in Wayne's World where they try to go backstage at Alice Cooper and end up outside talking to Chris Farley about Frankie Sharp's talent search? Chris Farley says (with hand gestures to show an imaginary U.S. map) "Next stop is St. Louis, then he's going to come back through Chicago on his way to Detroit." If you don't remember that, you haven't watched one of the GREATEST MOVIES EVER enough times. But anyway, that was sort of how our trip started out. RWD World Headquarters is located in Plymouth (western suburb). Navigational Guru/Duluth Refugee Kleiner lives in a northeastern suburb about 25 miles away. After I swung by to get NG/DR Kleiner (and oohed and aahed over the very cute, very sweet Babykleiner), we were ready to head out. Or so we thought...

As we were leaving the Kleiner Compound, I received an emergency phone call from former Gauntlet Victim/Closet Bulldog Fan Fire Helmet Guy, needing us to rescue him from the ghettos of the northwest suburbs. So Kleiner and I strapped on our bulletproof vests, loaded our AK-47s, and sped across town. After a near-death experience involving a jerk in an Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme on 694, we made it. Kleiner provided cover fire while FHG sprinted to my car from a nearby bombed-out building. Fortunately, he has lots of practice from the DECC to Sports Garden run.

After a stopover in the far northern suburbs to pick up our tickets from an Anonymous Donor, and then another stop to feed my hungry car, we were finally on our way. FINALLY.

But! The important part isn't the journey, it's the destination. We rolled into Duluth in time to booze it at the Curling Club with some members of tPB. We drank Canadian beer in honor of our Crazy Canuck. Yuck. I think I'll stick to my Leinie's Red from now on.

However, if not for Canadians, we would not have won the game. Biggie Mac scored 2 goals (including a sweet power play goal set up by 2 other Canadians) and Mason Raymond had an empty net goal. Jordan Fulton scored just for FHG, as if he was saying "Okposo who?"

Mike Curry was sadly absent from the scoreboard, but he did get in some guy's face and also told Derek Shepherd what he thought of some call or another. It's really entertaining to see all the little things he does to get under an opponent's skin.

The goals per game average has gone up, since tDogs failed to get the required 7 goals last night. Now they have to score 8 1/2 goals each night in Denver. Totally possible!

All right, that's enough. RWD out.

Tired

It's been a long night, so I'm really not going to do anything except update the numbers and say

WE WON! WE WON! WE WON! WE WON!

Very exciting indeed. AND a stick salute! Very sexy. Tomorrow I'll write something hilarious.

Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 14 (non-conf)
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 6 (non-conf)

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 24
Michael Gergen: 14!
Mike Curry: 11 (Did not grant my request for him to "PUT IT IN!")
Matt McKnight: 6
Jason Garrison: 2

Freshmen Competition:
Akins: 9
Fulton: 8! (Look out, Okposo!)
Stalock: 4
Gorsalitz: 2
Palm: 1
C. Ryan: 1

On Notice:
Nick Kemp: GD 7
Mike Curry: GD 9 PD 4
Drew Akins: GD 10 PD 7
Andrew Carroll: GD 13 PD 10
Trent Palm: GD 17 PD 17
Ryan Geris: GD 27 PD 17
Travis Gawryletz: GD 28 PD 9
Matt McKnight: GD 5
Matt Greer: GD 5 PD 5
Jeff McFarland: GD 4 PD 4
Josh Meyers: GD 4
Jay Cascalenda: GD 4 PD 4

Kleiner Is My Co-Pilot

Hello, comrades. Just a quick note before I get going.

First, I should mention: THERE IS A GAME TODAY. YES, IT IS A WEDNESDAY, AND THERE IS A GAME.

Okay, I think we're good. Anyway, speaking of journeys, I'm hitting the road in a few hours with the newly appointed RWD Navigational Guru Kleiner (Sorry man, it's not a paying job). SO STAY OFF THE ROAD, PEOPLE. IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. And for my benefit as well, because I will be free to drive 100 mph without all those peons in their Geos driving 50 in the left lane. (Parents, remember to read that as 100 kph. That's really, really slow. I imagine that's how slow my Canadian friend drives his Porsche.)

I've got a lot to do today (food, oil change, tonsil scraping), so I will have to let you peruse the enemy sites. There are 2 NMU blogs that are about 90000000000% more professional than my site on its best day: Kyle Whitney's Sports Thoughts - Northern Style and Matt Wellens's Schizophrenic Blog (dude! Just pick a title and stay with it!). They don't have TOO much to say about the game YET, but they are coming off a sweep of Bowling Green, who we have also beaten.

I don't really have too much to say either, so we just need to remember the fundamentals: 7 goals per game, no lazy stick penalties, don't make me come down there and slap you.

Postcards from RWD, Vol. 6: Team Edition

Dear Bulldogs,

It's me, Runninwiththedogs. You might remember me from such restraining orders as: The One You're Taking Out On Me Right Now, and The One That Keeps Me From Returning To The Milwaukee Ed Debevic's. Anyway, we need to talk. You see, we're approaching a crucial point of the season. The next few games are extremely important, and not just because we need wins like Troy Jutting needs Extreme Makeover. The games are important because I am coming to the next three games.
Yes, that's right. THREE IN A ROW. And you know what I want to see? THREE WINS. You know what I don't want to see? The crap from the last three games. I will be travelling 2188 miles in the next few weeks JUST FOR YOU GUYS. I don't need to see any losses. I can listen to those in the comfort of my own home. It's safer for everyone that way.
I want to see some GOALS, too. From those of you on notice. From those of you not on notice. From everyone! There are 21 non-goalies on the team. That means 21 goals, or 7 a night, and we've scored 7 goals in one night before! We've even done it this season. And hey, just because you're a goalie, doesn't mean you can't get in on the action. We're still waiting for Al to get his first goal.
Also, rumor has it there's a potential recruit in town for the game. That means you should play well, so this guy wants to be on the team. And contrary to what I may have said on tPB, it's not my job to convince him to go here. We all know I would scare the poor guy away.
I really, really, really want to see some wins live and in person. Please, guys. Show me some love.

Your devoted servant,
RWD

Hockey Day

Well, today was Hockey Day Minnesota. What did I do? I worked. So I missed the game. Or, more accurately, I missed all of the games, including the Bulldogs' game.

All is not lost. I am going to celebrate by snuggling up on the couch with some Kleenex and watching Miracle. I know, I know, you probably thought I didn't have a heart at all, or that it was black and shriveled. I don't know where you'd get that idea... Anyway the following list of movie genres will make me cry like a little girl:

1. Hockey movies (but not Slap Shot)
2. Baseball movies (but not Major League)
3. Movies where animals die (i.e. Old Yeller) or almost die (The Incredible Journey)

So there you go. HOWEVER, games like FRIDAY NIGHT just make me ANGRY. VERY UNCOOL, GUYS. VERY UNCOOL. That's all I have to say about that.

Saturday, we played better. CLEARLY. Since we got FIVE GOALS, which we rarely get even against bad teams. Very awesome. Also, SUPERB power play on Saturday, and NOT BAD on the PK either. I guess we need Gors on there MORE OFTEN. (See, Crazy Canuck, the PR machine is working. Also, don't forget to vote for Gors as Cutest Baby!) Mason Raymond = 5 Assists = AWESOME. Bryan MacGregor = 4 Points = HOTTTT. MacGregor Sharp = 3 points = ALSO HOTTT.

(And, DAN KRONICK = 1 POINT. Good job, guys!)

No Gauntlet this week, since the next game is on Wednesday, and I SHALL BE THERE. HUZZAH!

Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 14 (barf)
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 6 (more barf)

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 24! (Also, nearly ripped Nodl's head off!)
Michael Gergen: 13! (Off notice!)
Mike Curry: 11
Matt McKnight: 6 (Mysteriously missing from the lineup...)
Jason Garrison: 2

Freshmen Competition:
Akins: 9
Fulton: 7
Stalock: 4
Gorsalitz: 2 (Yeah! PK!)
Palm: 1
C. Ryan: 1

On Notice:
Nick Kemp: GD 6 PD 4
Mike Curry: GD 8
Drew Akins: GD 9 PD 6
Andrew Carroll: GD 12 PD 9
Trent Palm: GD 16 PD 16
Jordan Fulton: GD 25 PD 5
Ryan Geris: GD 26 PD 16
Travis Gawryletz: GD 27 PD 8
Matt McKnight: GD 4
Matt Greer: GD 4 PD 4

The Gauntlet: Dirty Old Man Edition

This week, I decided to be nice. I threw down The Gauntlet to Skeeterman, a St. Cloud Community College fan. He isn't a blogger, but he is a giant amongst losers on USCHO. It is shorter than normal (hey, don't everyone applaud at once), because I was late for our "meeting" and then I had to go to work. Because I do this FOR FREE, comrades.

RWD: You were suggested for this interview by MeanEGirl, since I didn't know any St. Cloud fans worth knowing. She said you are the only St. Cloud fan who "gets it." What does that mean, and why doesn't anyone else "get it?"

Skeeterman: I don't know for sure. I don't think she was making any sexual connotations. I think she just meant that I get what it is to be a hockey fanatic who enjoys getting wacky and being a little outrageous.

RWD: Who said anything about sexual connotations? [Really, who did?] But, on that note, aren't you secretly in love with her?

Skeeterman: She's a hottie, that's for sure. When Michigan Tech came here last year, I had a local pub make up a big welcome banner with a picture of her and a welcome to MEgirl and Mitch's Misfits.

RWD: Oh, you made that sign? I saw it. Aren't you a little old for her?

Skeeterman: I gave McRudy's Pub the picture, and they had Budweiser make it up. They also made the famous Dahlie Llama vs. Don Lou Chia pet banner, and I have a picture of me and Doug Woog holding it up, and a picture of me and Mazocco holding it up. I might be a little old for MEgirl, but I think she prefers mature, experienced men.

RWD: Now, I've never met you, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say, aren't you a little tall for her?

Skeeterman: I think a lot of guys might be a little tall for her. But as we all know, size doesn't matter.

RWD: Oh my.

Skeeterman: My oh my

RWD: I have a reader-submitted question, which is a first on this feature. I don't know if he wants me to reveal his identity to you, so let's just say he's a Gopher fan who wears a distinct helmet at games.

Skeeterman: I don't know who that would be.

RWD: He wants to know what brand of pacemaker you use.

Skeeterman: I don't need a pacemaker yet, but I've dabbled in [a little blue pill whose name I won't print because I don't want that kind of traffic on my site].

RWD: When MEg game to town, I'm sure.

Skeeterman: I'll never tell. [And, I don't want to know. So we're in agreement here.]

RWD: Are you going to endorse any other brands on here? Such as telling me which brand of snowmobile you drive to the rink? Or do you drive your Ford F-150 extended cab?

Skeeterman: I hate snowmobiles and pick-up trucks. I prefer dog sleds and snowshoes.

RWD: Maybe you should move to Alaska. It must be better than St. Cloud.

Skeeterman: Might not be a bad idea, I've heard that they have some interesting customs there.
RWD: I heard there you are susceptible to Stearns County Syndrome. What is that? Is it catching?

Skeeterman: It's not catching. It all happened before I arrived here. I'm originally from Fergus Falls. The syndrome is from inter-family marriage among the early German immigrants. [The tradition continues today!] So if a couple from Stearns County gets a divorce, the question is "Are they still cousins?" Lots of entire families afflicted with what they used to call mental retardation... not that there's anything wrong with that, as retards are people, too.

RWD: Do you think the Stearns County Syndrome is what makes the [St. Cloud] USCHO posters so thin-skinned? Or is it the inferiority complex?

Skeeterman: I think it's the inferiority deal suffered by some. They know who they are. It's not that complex.

RWD: I think everyone knows who they are. [If you don't, ask Donald!] There are a few different nicknames out there for your team. JBSU, St. Bob, St. Clown, etc. What's your favorite?

Skeeterman: That's a trick question. [It is???] I used to prefer the "Swoonskies", but that was during the reign of the Llama [Craig Dahl, for those of you not in the know].

RWD: Is this the year? For an NCAA win? [No.]

Skeeterman: I think it's going to be the best chance we've had for many years. The best chance should have been when we had the team that had about 5 future NHL players on it.

RWD: If you win, are you guys going to riot?

Skeeterman: They're much more mild mannered here. There would be a celebration, but no riot. The infamous homecoming riot was started by the law enforcement people.

RWD: I thought, you know, to compete with UMTC you might.

Skeeterman: The evil empire is way different. The students at the Minnesota Rodent Academy don't know any better.

RWD: I see. So, Dan Kronick: future NHL superstar, or just lucky to have good linemates?

Skeeterman: Kronick's a future star only if he gets to play against UMD guys. He does have some great linemates, though, and he gets lucky sometimes.

RWD: And is ugly and pathetic.

Skeeterman: You've gotta love that chin, though. [No. No I do not.]

RWD: Who would you say is the most attractive guy on your team?

Skeeterman: I'm not into guys, but I think Andrew Gordon warms the cockles of many.

RWD: Wow. You are the first person to actually ANSWER that question, other than MEg!

Skeeterman: Just my observations, plus he has a major red haired groupie.

RWD: I just checked him out. He's not THAT ugly. I probably know the answer to this already, but is there a Mrs. Skeeterman?

Skeeterman: Yes, there is. She puts up with me.

RWD: Wow, I guess I didn't know the answer! [I was completely astonished.]

Skeeterman: As a friend of mine used to say: "I'm married, but I'm not a fanatic about it!"

RWD: Who are your favorite players, current and all-time?

Skeeterman: Favorite players: Tyler Arnason, Matt Cullen, Mark Parrish, Duvie Westcott, Dave Holum, Dave Paradise, Billy Lund, Dave Ianaazzo, Brian Lietsa, and others yet to be determined.

RWD: Wow, you really rattled that list off.

Skeeterman: They come to mind quickly. Holum was great for taunting. If he drew a penalty from the other guys, he's come out and skate by their bench and face them all with a big grin, and sometimes toss some debris into their bench. I forgot Jeff Finger, famous for bone shattering checks.

RWD: Ah, so you like the grinders. [WARNING! The next section is not for those with weak stomachs!]

Skeeterman: Yeah, fun to watch. He made Patrick Eaves give up his breakfast, lunch, and anything else he had in his stomach. He flattened guys on a regular basis.

RWD: That's disgusting.

Skeeterman: Disgusting, but lovely.

RWD: Does vomit really bounce on ice?

Skeeterman: Don't know, cause he filled up their bench.

RWD: Ah. Shame. So, how about a weekend prediction for the folks at home?

Skeeterman: I would say Huskies sweep, Friday, 4-2, Saturday 5-3. [So, Tech's going to sweep Alaska-Anchorage. MEg will be happy. And St. Cloud is going DOWN!]

RWD: There might be some vomiting this weekend, too. The flu has been going around the UMD bench. And what about The Kronick?

Skeeterman: Kronick is ready to go, no flu here. I sit right behind the opponents bench.

RWD: I mean, how many points?

Skeeterman: Kronick gets a hat trick Friday, with 2 assists; Saturday, 2 goals, 2 assist.

RWD: I say ZERO POINTS. Are you going to throw batteries at me now?

Skeeterman: Never, that's only Gopher fans who throw the batteries and then blame it on Husky fans. [Uh huh...]

And there were some who said he'd never agree to an interview...

Now, LET'S GO BULLDOGS!!!!!!!!!!