Grand Theft Bulldog

UMTC 3, tUMD 4 (OT)
UMTC 2, tUMD 3

Let's talk about how epic this weekend was. I can describe it with two events.

First. When Travis Oleksuk scored the game-winner with twelve seconds left in overtime on Friday, my brother (who was watching at my dad's) jumped up, launching the small dog in his lap across the room.

Second. When I got home from the game on Saturday, I had this email from my cousin:

If anyone so much as mentions that there were hockey games between UMD and UM (henceforth to be known not very affectionately as the "south campus”) at Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday, that person will not only not have any stuffing but will also not receive dessert...

Sweep-sweep-sweep, sweep-sweep-sweep, sweep-sweep sweep sweepsweep! (Sing that to the tune of "Jingle Bells." Top 40 material right here.)

How did this happen? I don't even know. Tenacity? Luck? Skill? Determination? A desire to please me? All of these things and more?

I went to both games. There are about a million reasons why I love being a Bulldogs fan, and being at Mariucci reminded me of a few. Like, ticket prices, atmosphere at games, the ability to hear the public address, parking for free or almost free (depending on what time of year), being able to move around during intermission without having to practically crowd-surf...

Being at Mariucci is pretty fun. The crowd really gets into it. I mean, at times there were five whole people in the student section cheering! They are also really nice to opposing fans, and extremely punctual. Nobody came in more than 11 minutes into the game.

Gopher fans simply do not know how to trash talk, and it is sad. I have a lot more respect for someone who runs their mouth the whole game than someone who randomly starts up in the middle of the 3rd period, once the Gophers have tied it up. I love going back and forth with people. As long as they are sane, we usually end up having fun.

Gopher fans are also extremely hilarious when they accuse the refs of a bias against them. Now they know how pretty much every other team feels when they play the Gophers! Ah well. Justice was served.

Now let's discuss some individuals. Of course all of you guys are fantastic but there are a few who I must chat with.

Travis Oleksuk
Overtime goal = amazing. You caused a dog to be launched. Also you shut up so many idiots. Please don't miss any more games.

Jack Connolly
Always excellent. You got Team Cougar a lot of fantasy points this weekend and you made the Gophers look silly focusing all their attention on Fontaine. Mike Hoeffel tried to recreate one of your Friday night goals but failed, swinging away like it was baseball. Additionally, your parents looked very nice on TV.

Chad Huttel
You are a very good goalie. Thank you.

Kenny Reiter
You are a good goalie too, but I do question some of your choices. Playing the puck is cool. But there are five other guys on the ice who can help you out when there are guys from the other team there.

Justin Fontaine
Sorry you had to be triple-teamed, but the Gophers just aren't man enough to go one-on-one with you.

Kyle Schmidt
I thoroughly enjoyed you making Kangas look foolish. You certainly have a talent for embarrassing the opponents. Continue!

Mike Connolly
It was great when you deked out three Gophers. I wonder if they collected their jockstraps off the ice themselves or if the Gophers had to hire someone for that purpose. It would have been incredibly sweet if you had scored, but it still looked neat.

Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 4! (SWEEPALICIOUS!)
Points until we reach last season's total: 14! (Keep rackin' them up!)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 21! (Still the nation's points leader!)
Brady Lamb: 8 (Obviously jitters at being added to Team Cougar)
Mike Seidel: 5! (Embellishment, my you-know-what!)

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 8!
Mike Seidel: 5!
Keegan Flaherty: 2
Wade Bergman: 1
Dan Delisle: 1
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Drew Olson: 1

Connollys
Jacky: 21!
Mikey: 14!

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 1
Dylan: 8!

Drews
Olson: 10
Akins: 15

On Notice
Dan Delisle
Keegan Flaherty
David Grun
Jake Hendrickson
Chad Huttel
Drew Olson

Goals Only
Drew Akins
Rob Bordson
Jordan Fulton
Dylan Olsen

Dirty Dozen

Today is Dirty's birthday.

Dirty is a pretty neat person who I talk to pretty much every day. On the InterWebs, of course, because he lives in the middle of nowhere and we are both sociopaths who eschew normalcy.

Dirty makes me laugh pretty much every time I talk to him. We are also always simultaneously reacting in the same bizarre way to the most random of things. I really need to start saving examples because I don't know if that even made sense. He'll know what I mean.

12 Hilarious Things Involving Dirty

1. He posted this picture on SiouxSports a few years ago. At least, I think it was him, but if not, I now associate it with him.














2. Last year I had to drive MEg, Dirty, and Dirty's vile henchman to the airport on Christmas Day. I got confused driving in construction and we ended up going the wrong way and I had about a thimbleful of gas in my tank and it might also have been snowing. Dirty was in the backseat of the car yelling like he was a televangelist about how we were never going to make it to the airport. I think you had to be there but it was really funny. They were pretty desperate for a driver, clearly.

3. Last year I named Dirty Blogger Hottie of the Year. It offended people. Just like pretty much every post on his hilarious blog. He did make a typo in the post by saying "a historic" rather than "an historic."

4. USCHO poster Jockstock (rumoured to be Tyler Hirsch) wrote this ode to Dirty.

5. This post on Dirty's Diatribe not only epitomizes his love/hate relationship with Startthebus, but it also is a quintessential Dirty/fan interaction.

6. At a Gopher-Sioux game, Danny Irmen told Dirty he liked his cape, and that his sister had one just like it. Dirty has some great interactions with players. And also Gwoz. I was amazed that that post had 41 comments but pretty much all of them are in Chinese or Korean or something.

7. I Gauntletted Dirty (remember when I used to do that?). It is a terrifying example of how similar we are. Two insane egos fighting for control. I totally claim responsibility for Dirty starting a blog, as I suggested it in the interview.

8. Dirty got in a game-long argument with this 14-year-old kid from Ashland at a tUMD/UND game at tDECC. MEg and I got stuck with this kid this year and sent Dirty a little photo greeting. This kid can not WAIT until Dec 4/5.

9. Dirty was obsessed with Chris "Hollywood" Clark and his spiky hair. He used to give hair tips on USCHO but ran out and now uses a tip from Hollywood himself permanently: "when its minus 20 and u have to go outside.. make sure u wear a winter hat as the mohawk does not enjoy the winter weathe[r]."

10. Dirty makes the most amazing shirts, including a "Tech Fans: Have you seen me?" Casey Pierro-Zabotel shirt or a picture of Dude Love deep-throating a hot dog captioned "I score more than Tech."

11. If I ever need to make an offensive but hilarious comment, I can always always always make it to Dirty and he never finds it offensive and usually is either already thinking the same thing or at least finds it hilarious.

12. Just terrifying.











HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DIRTY!

MACGREGOR SHARP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anaheim Ducks Recall MacGregor Sharp

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is AWESOME news. Congratulations MacGregor! Way to represent the Bulldogs. Let's hope you get more than just a cup of coffee!!

(Just in case you are scoring at home, there are 3 former My Guys who are playing/have played in the NHL: Nisky, Garrison, and Sharp. If that's not an endorsement for enduring my creepiness, what is?)

Multiple Personalities

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I am schizophrenic
and so am I

I think I've used that on here before, but I think it's funny. UMDDogz should know where I got that poem from... let's see if he chimes in.

ALL THAT because holymotherofjustification, I am the TWEET OF THE WEEK on INCH. Biddco let me know!

There's some boring stuff to scroll through, and then:

TWEET OF THE WEEK
runwiththedogs:
about 4 hats on the ice … pathetic

The people behind the Minnesota Duluth Runnin’ with the Dogs blog tweeted this message shortly after the Bulldogs’ Justin Fontaine scored his third goal in Saturday’s 8-1 rout of Michigan Tech (he would add a fourth goal before all was said and done). The message touches on an INCH pet peeve: If you are wearing a hat to a hockey game and a player scores three goals, it is your duty to toss said hat onto the ice.

Don’t want to chuck your favorite lid? Bring one you don’t care about. And
even if it is your best hat, throw it anyway—the good karma you’ll get from the
hockey gods will far surpass the out-of-pocket cost of replacing it.

Just a quick note to INCH: there is only one person behind RWD. One schizoid crazy stalkerific person. Also, you made a spelling error which I corrected.

PEOPLE. IT IS REALLY SAD WHEN I CAN NAME ALL BUT ONE OF THE FOUR PEOPLE WHO THREW THEIR HATS ON THE ICE: BIDDCO, DHG, and a dude who was at Old Chicago whose name I do not recall, I am sorry sir, but I applaud your effort, as I saw that you threw your stocking hat, missed the ice the first time, had someone throw it back at you, and then threw it again successfully. (Biddco, who is always helpful, identified this person as tHendoTwins from tPB.)

IT IS NOT LIKE THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. OMFG. FOR REALS. UNACCEPTABLE. Now, when Jacky gets a hat trick on Friday against UND, you mofos better not mess it up. I am bringing a hat to every game. It will be easy as I will just steal one of Biddcos out of his room.

On an unrelated note, is it bad that it's 7:56 PM and I am drinking my 4th cup of coffee?

A Day Late and a Dollar Short/Eight is Enough

tUMD 2, Fortunate Nerds 3/tUMD 8, Unfortunate Nerds 1

Oh, I totally failed you all this weekend, I'm sorry. Except I did tweet the Saturday game! Awesome! I tried to avoid typos. It was kind of fun, but it also sort of took away from my maximum enjoyment.

So, Friday. Went to the Coach's Show lunch at tSports Garden. Failed to listen to most of what Sandelin was saying as I was arguing with Ciskie's father-in-law. We have differing views on the team. I will leave it at that. Then they had a drawing and called my ticket number and I yelled "THAT'S ME!" and came on down like it was The Price is Right. And I had to run by Sandy to get it at the front table, where Bob Nielsen was sitting. And it was also live on the radio. Fortunately, there were like 10 people at the brunch and most were geriatric, and who listens to the radio anyway? This sort of ruined my plans to talk to Nielsen about the one-sided article in the Duluth News Tribune about the student section, because 1. the geriatrics were monopolizing him and 2. I had sort of wrecked my credibility by looking like a moron. At least I didn't yell "F*** YEAH!" or something. That would really ruin my case.

The game pretty much depressed me. Especially when the Huskies scored in the middle of the 2nd goal lap. And also the sign that I made offended an idiot. It said "EVERY TIME A COWBELL RINGS" and on the back "GOD KILLS A HUSKY," with KILL in red letters and paint splattered on the sign like blood. That's not really that bad. I didn't draw a dead dog or anything. I should have.

Good things from Friday include goals from JACKY!!!!! and Mikey Seidel, with a Brady Lamb assist on the Jacky goal, which means that all of My Guys had points. I didn't think tUMD played particularly poorly, as they had about a million chances that just didn't pan out. Some days you have the puck luck, some days you don't. Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you. Other good things include seeing my bestie and Biddco after a long period of not seeing them.

Then Saturday.

Saturday we made a bunch of signs including a NORTH WISCONSIN sign with a map of Wisconsin and the UP; a Revenge of the Nerds-themed sign, and one that just said NO. The NO sign was probably the most hilarious. It was so universally applicable.

Then we went to the MTU alumni dinner at tGarden, but I missed out on 1. talking to Jamie Russell and 2. seeing the hottie who is in charge of the MTU alumni stuff. Tragedy. I saw Jamie for like 10 seconds as he was leaving. Then I saw Ross walking like a robot as he was walking to the bathroom to throw up. Before the game. Way to go.

Since Tech won on Friday, Biddco lost the bet he had with MeanEgirl. This meant he had to wear her Kinrade jersey. Then she listed off about 800 things we could not do, including 1. cover the jersey 2. throw it on the floor OR ground 3. throw it in the lake 4. take it off 5. put pins or tape on it or 6. allow anyone else to wear it. Biddy and I got creative and realized he could still ride the pony with it (in front of the Tech parents, which was a bad idea) and also he could hike up his pants and tuck it in like a nerd (ALSO in front of the Tech parents, which was ALSO a bad idea). I laughed so hard I could barely walk. He looked amazing.

He looked ESPECIALLY amazing running EIGHT laps, as tUMD scored EIGHT goals. What? And Justin Fontaine had 4 of them! tUMD fans are lame and only 4 people threw hats on the ice. THAT IS PATHETIC, PEOPLE. PATHETIC. I am going to have to start wearing hats to games simply to make sure I'm ready in case of emergency. Really, there were some stupid hats being worn. Get with the program, people! It's been 5 years since the last one! Did you forget how it worked? I wish I had a YouTube video of Fonz's 3rd goal. Oh my. BIG weekend for Brady Lamb and MCON as well, and former My Guy Rob Bordson. Biddy and I discovered the secret to Rob Bordson's newfound amazingness, although I will not share.

SO incredibly proud of how the guys responded after Friday's loss. Now come down to the Cities and sweep the Gophers.

Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 6! (Let's knock that down some more this weekend!)
Points until we reach last season's total: 18! (Keep rackin' them up!)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 18! (Another awesome weekend!!!!)
Brady Lamb: 8! (Elevating his game to a new level!!!)
Mike Seidel: 4! (Superb!!!)

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 6!
Mike Seidel: 4!
Keegan Flaherty: 2!
Wade Bergman: 1
Dan Delisle: 1
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Drew Olson: 1

Connollys
Jacky: 18!
Mikey: 13! (Catching up!)

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 1
Dylan: 6!

Drews
Olson: 8
Akins: 15

On Notice
Dan Delisle
Jordan Fulton
David Grun
Jake Hendrickson
Chad Huttel
Drew Olson

Goals Only
Drew Akins
Rob Bordson
Cody Danberg
Dylan Olsen

Friday XIII, Part 2

Last time it was Friday the 13th, this happened. Tech nerds, beware!

Stay... Just a Little Bit Longer

With rumors surrounding the future of Runnin' with the Dogs, the Bulldogs’ blogger has stated she has no intention to leave the eponymous blog.

“I am fully committed to this team and blog,” said RWD, who serves a humorous foil to typical sports journalists such as Bruce Ciskie and Kevin Pates. “I have no intention of leaving college early to blog for pro hockey.”

“It is unfortunate that these rumors continue to come out and I have no idea where they begin. I think it’s important for me to publicly state that I am going nowhere. I am dedicated to this team and plan to help them reach their goals for the remainder of this season and future years.”

RWD was the first amateur college hockey blogger on the Web and has been the center of several internet rumors over recent months regarding her future in college and professional hockey blogging.

It Was a Good Day

tUMD 2, Lucky Sons-of-you-know-whats 6

Yo. We have to keep it real up in this piece. Check ourselves prior to wrecking ourselves.

I'm feeling like ripping off a rapper tonight. Let's do this. The video has naughty words. Just sayin'.

Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
Big win from the 'Dogs, no smog
Got a lotta folks surfin' to my blog
I got my work on, but didn't stay long
Finally game time for the Bulldogs, gotta play strong
Hooked my plasma TV up to the B2
Got the home team call radio feed too
Game time is soon, countin' down to the clock stop
The centermen get set, time to take the puck drop
Huttel in the box for a trip
Didn't have to touch the guy, made himself flip
And everything is alright
Campion and Beaurline have got our backs all night
CC gets on the board from Mike Testwuide
Then in the box again, try to make 'em bleed
Get out the first only down by one
But we won on Friday, this is just for fun
Don't matter how we play on Saturday
Still in the game, today was a good day

In the second got a goal by Schmidt
Didn't even need the refs to go review it
Fans boo because the goal judge turned on the light
But CC high sticked and the Dogs gotta fight
Call's even, Hjelle gets roughing but of course he's not leavin'
Time to play Don't Stop Believin'
Give up a couple more goals, they got us runnin 'round
Knock em down on the ground
Shake em up, shake em up, shake em up, shake em
Pair off with a couple of Tigers and watch us break em
Get the face, face-washin', face-maskin'
Penalties even and we play the game awhile five on five
Because no more Tigers had to take a dive
Prosser froze the puck in the crease, but they let us play
Today was a good day

Third period starts up
Power play got nothin' so we don't miss the puck luck
Ref has his say, Lowery hits Akins on a breakaway
But he might not have scored anyway
So he puts both Drews in the box
CC gets a lucky shot, Dylan Olsen walks
Another penalty, penalty, penalty
Just after one gets free
Mike Seidel gets a goal
but we're running out of time to dig outta this hole.
Huttel goes crazy to get a spark
Probably gonna leave a mark, kicked him outta the park
But he's not banned for the next game
And the other guy got two minutes of blame
Refs ask Olsen and Akins to leave
Though it's for the best, we're our own worst enemies.
Campion gives us a few tweets
Power plays even up on the stats sheet
End the game with a hooking call on Deboer,
Thanks guys, but I don't think we need it anymore.
We never got started it's too late now,
We're gonna need those favors another day, anyhow.
Didn't even need the refs' help to throw the game away.
I got to say it was a good day.

Numbers tomorrow. Or something. Word to your mother.

Oh What a Night!

tUMD 4, Fanless Wonders 3

From the way this game ended, the intensity and the excitement, one would think this game had been played in March. Or April, almost. I'm still in my jersey and I probably didn't stop shaking for about 10 minutes after the game. I am listening to CMT radio on Rhapsody right now to try to mellow out. MeanEgirl just died a little inside upon reading this. If she still reads RWD. I consider this a test. Although it's a stupid test because I know Biddco still reads it and will tell her. But Biddco likes to be mentioned on RWD. So everyone wins.

In case you are unaware, UMD has a really really really really really really really long winless-on-Friday-nights-in-league-play-on-the-road streak. Or history. Or something. It's not actually a streak, but it is an unpleasant trend over the last several years.

I hope this is the start of something new.

I'm going to make a call right here and say that it is.

Can I just say how insanely in love I am with this team right now? I mean, not romantically. Platonically. And as a whole, not as individuals, so please, no need for legal actions. But who wouldn't be? Seriously. They have found so many different ways to win a hockey game. Come-from-behind, lead-all-the-way, and now regain-the-lead. How about HUGE BLOWOUT tomorrow? I would not object.

The second period... could just be forgotten. Erased from existence.


That was fun! Anyway. Why dwell on the negatives? That is Sandy's job! I do this for free! I want to be duckies and bunnies!

I missed the first goal, as I worked. If you follow me on Twitter, or simply look at the Twitter box in the sidebar on the left, you can see that I rejoiced in the late start time as it meant I could work more overtime. I have switched from alcohol to workohol, it seems. So I got home just in time for the goal to be scored. I did see Mike Seidel's goal, though, and celebrated. I didn't even get too angry when CC scored.

Ok, then things happened. Remember: erased from existence. A penalty shot occurred but it actually HAS been erased from existence, at least on the stat sheet. A save was made on it. By Kenny Reiter.

An avid RWD reader asked me via text today, and if you don't mind, I will present the transcript here.

Avid RWD Reader: Think we can win 2 nite
RWD: F*** yeah, oleksuk power!!!!

I'm a genius. Oleksuk got his first goal as a Bulldog tonight! The first of about 10 million! Even though a stupid jerk on CC tried to take out his knee! I will take out YOUR knee, CC jerk, Jeff Gillooly style! Or maybe not. Ole wasn't hurt so I can be calm. Just under five minutes later, a person took a penalty for CC. I looked down at my computer screen, and I looked up and there was brief hugging and then STATIONARY TIGER HEAD (who assassinated FLOATING TIGER HEAD in a military coup) appeared and then the audio caught up and Kyle Schmidt had scored!!!! OMFGWTFBANANABBQ!!!1!!1! (Speaking of long strings of letters, the stat sheet has that goal as EA DP GW LL. It would have been neat to also add SH and HT)

Then Kishel got a hooking penalty and I died a little and then Fults got a cross-checking penalty and I died a lot. It meant UMD would spent over a minute killing a 5 on 3, and the remainder of the game on the penalty kill. And oh, the stress. And then the added stress as Coach Owens believed that an empty net was preferable to sieve Joe Howe, so it was 6 on 3. DA texted me and referred to the situation as "exciting." I pulled large chunks of hair out of my head. We all react differently.

However, it was not really 6 on 3, as recently drafted defenceman "Pipe" decided to get into the game. Since the referees did not notice him, we were not called for a too many men penalty, and he proved invaluable in the UMD win. Scott "Chuck Yeager" Kishel also broke the sound barrier getting out of the penalty box and into the fray as his penalty expired. I was staring at the television with my eyes bugging out of my head like the old man getting hooked in the "PENALTY" graphic at the DECC, and somehow UMD kill both penalties AND the game and I had a grand mal seizure.

Whew.

Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 7! (Briefly in 1st place til DU won!)
Points until we reach last season's total: 20! (Yes!!!)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 15! (And somehow named first star of the game!?)
Brady Lamb: 4! (Another power play goal!)
Mike Seidel: 2! (Two game point streak!!!)

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 4! (Family in attendance! Need to get goal tomorrow!)
Mike Seidel: 2!
Wade Bergman: 1
Dan Delisle: 1
Keegan Flaherty: 1
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Drew Olson: 1

Connollys
Jacky: 15!
Mikey: 7

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 1
Dylan: 4!

Drews
Olson: 6
Akins: 6
(This is so weird! The Drews are staying out of the box!)

On Notice
Dan Delisle
Keegan Flaherty
David Grun
Jake Hendrickson
Chad Huttel

Goals Only
Cody Danberg
Jordan Fulton
Mike Montgomery
Dylan Olsen
Drew Olson

Dislike

I know that CC fans and teams are universally despised by the DU faithful, but is that really where it ends? I've been doing some digging into the program lately, and I'm wondering...

Does anyone actually like CC?

Their coaches don't.
Former UMTC assistant coach Mike Guentzel left CC for the USHL after just one undistinguised season under Scott Owens.

Their recruits don't.
First round draft pick John Moore elected not to come to CC mere weeks before he was slated to show up on campus. Recruit Colton St. Clair also bolted for UND.

Their goalies don't.
Richard Bachmann split after a less-than-impressive (relative to his freshman year) season, and freshman Hudson Stremmel didn't want to play second banana to fellow first-year Joe Howe. This gives hope to The Worst WCHA Fantasy Hockey Team Ever, whose only goalie (and first round draft pick!) is Tyler O'Brien.

Their administration doesn't.
CC players are constantly running afoul of the administration. However, if they didn't try to have three-ways with underage girls or dress up in blackface, maybe that would not be such a problem.

Their fans don't.
7 UMD fans outcheered the entire arena last year. I don't think they have a student fanbase. No one shows up in school colors, and in every crowd shot, everyone looks bored!

Their A/V staff doesn't.
They would rather broadcast "Floating Tiger Head" when play is underway than show their team.

Their bloggers don't.
They never post. Or quit, like my buddy CCH.

Their mascot doesn't.
There are most likely less than 2000 tigers (of all subspecies!) left in the wild. Stupid horrible awful people poaching them? Or just shame at their CC (and also Detroit) association?

Really, who's left? Randy May?

Things That Go Bump in the Night

tUMD 4, Violent Repeat Offenders 2

I know! I know! It has been over 24 hours since the game ended, and I have no real excuse for not posting. Other than no one cares.

Clarkson decided that rather than playing hockey, they wanted to play some sort of Ultimate Cagefighting Penalty Fest. UMD is no stranger to numerous penalties. We average just under 23 per game. WHAT. That's over a period of hockey. Argh. Mostly this is because they get stupid 10 minute misconducts for nothing. Or get CFBs. Hm. Whatever. Just keep winning!

I'm so bummed I wasn't at this game. There were SO MANY SHENANIGANS and I did not get involved in ANY OF THEM. AND my sweet little Mikey Seidel GOT HIS FIRST GOAL! I think I blew my cat's eardrums out. The first of many, I'm sure!!

Ok, I'm going to make up for this later in the week. blahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 8 (EZAC!)
Points until we reach last season's total: 22 (EZAC!)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 14! (DIVISION ONE POINTS LEADER!!!!)
Brady Lamb: 3! (Yay!!!)
Mike Seidel: 1! (First goal as a Bulldog!!!)

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 3
Wade Bergman: 1!
Dan Delisle: 1
Keegan Flaherty: 1
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Drew Olson: 1
Mike Seidel: 1!
(all freshmen now have a point)

Connollys
Jacky: 14!
Mikey: 7!

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 1
Dylan: 3

Drews
Olson: 6
Akins: 6

On Notice
Dan Delisle
David Grun
Jake Hendrickson
Chad Huttel
Mike Montgomery

Goals Only
Cody Danberg
Keegan Flaherty
Jordan Fulton
Dylan Olsen
Drew Olson

The Name Game

tUMD 4, Unpronounceables 1

I love playing these eastern teams because they all have these insane names. What the heck? Let's examine.

First, we have Corey Pawlick. Better name than Pitlick, but still. If he were a cat it would be good. Then we have the misspelled Louke "Annie" Oakley. Spell words right, people. Maybe it is pronounced Lowk. But that's still stupid. And another kree8ivvvv speller, Nik (I HATE when the C is missing) Pokulok. Like if "pot luck" and "mukluk" mated. Bryan Rufenach has so many nickname possibilities: Rufio! Ruffies! Rufebega!

Clarkson also has a chick from Finland on their team named Lauri Tuohimaa. Doesn't Clarkson have a women's team? Sad!

Tim Marks has a very appropriate name, as he is a marked man after trying to kill Arthur Fonzarelli. Boys, just don't get kicked out of the game.

The Bulldogs really do love me, because ONCE AGAIN they came through with a birthday win. David Grun was not in the lineup and thus can't be faulted for not getting a goal for me. My Jacky had 2 goals (though Bruce thinks one should belong to Drew Olson), but was kind enough to NOT get a hat trick when I was not there. I would have been so upset. Also, Jacky, please save any hat tricks for WCHA games so MEg and I can get fantasy points.

B2 was not working well so I don't have any other specific comments on the game. Be even better tomorrow, dearies!

Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 8 (NC)
Points until we reach last season's total: 22 (NC)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 12! (Glorious!)
Brady Lamb: 1
Mike Seidel: 0

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 3!
Dan Delisle: 1
Keegan Flaherty: 1
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Drew Olson: 1!
Wade Bergman: 0
Mike Seidel: 0

Connollys
Jacky: 12!
Mikey: 6!

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 1!
Dylan: 3!

Drews
Olson: 6
Akins: 6

On Notice
Jordan Fulton
David Grun
Jake Hendrickson
Chad Huttel
Mike Montgomery

Goals Only
Cody Danberg
Dan Delisle
Keegan Flaherty
Dylan Olsen
Drew Olson

Justin Fontaine To Change Last Name

from the Associated Press Wire:

In a move that surprised some and others felt was overdue, Minnesota-Duluth winger Justin Fontaine has decided to change his name to Justin Connolly. Coach Scott Sandelin recently chose to add Mike Connolly to the productive tandem of Fontaine and Jack Connolly, in order to maximize UMD's offensive firepower. Fontaine's name change will be the final piece in creating the most dominant line in all of college hockey: the Connolly line.

Fontaine, 21, of Bonnyville, AB, felt in order to gel completely with his linemates, he needed to annex the last name. "I want to do whatever I can to improve my game and help my team. I can't shrink myself 3 inches or grow a curly fro, but I'm willing to make the change if it means more wins. It's the least I can do," Fontaine said in an interview Wednesday.

Fontaine will be adopted by Mark and Judy Connolly of Duluth, parents of Jack Connolly, as well as Boston University forward Chris Connolly. "We are so excited to have Justin as part of our family," Mrs. Connolly told reporters. "We've been looking to add a right wing to our family for some time now, and Justin is the perfect fit." Mr. Connolly was not reachable for comment, as he was busy rocking out with his band.

When asked if they minded giving their son up for adoption, current parents Denis Fontaine and Donna Dale, reached by phone, seemed to take it as "business as usual." "It's just another part of the game, part of being a hockey parent," Mr. Fontaine stated. "Anything to make his game better," added Ms. Dale, "but I hope they remember he likes the crusts cut off his sandwiches."

UMD fans hope to hear beloved public address announcers Howie Leathers proclaiming "Connolly from Connolly and Connolly," a lot this season. Radio play-by-play man Bruce Ciskie didn't seem too happy about the change. "It's confusing enough as it is," he said via phone. When informed the line would be backed up by defensive tandem Dylan Olsen and Drew Olson, Mr. Ciskie screamed and a series of dull thuds could be heard, ostensibly Mr. Ciskie beating himself with the telephone.

No word on when the adoption process would be finalized, or whether Fontaine would also adopt #32 to match with Jack Connolly's #12 and Mike Connolly's #22.

Not Quite the 'Toga...

The Idaho Junior Steelheads hockey team got in trouble last week for playing strip hockey. (Note: this is NOT the same Idaho Steelheads with Matt McKnight!)

I don't see a problem with it. I'd bring my opera glasses!

Golden

It's my birthday, bitches!! And I'll swear if I want to!!! I'm 27 on October 27th!!!! Wow!!!

I've never been one of those people who passive-aggressively keeps their birthday a secret until 11:59:59 PM and then rages at everyone for forgetting. I have enough things to rage about, thank you. The more people know, the happier the day is! I am already having a great birthday. I got a fabulous email from one of my best friends from college, and a box waiting on the front step when I got home that came from my mom and sounds as though it is broken, and a birthday card from my grandparents addressed to the wrong name, as usual!

The last time I celebrated my birthday with any sort of celebration was... oh, wait, nm, I mean the SECOND TO LAST time, whoops, Grandma's gettin' old... ok, it was my 21st, the last I spent in Illinois. It wasn't a birthday... it was like, a birthCARNIVAL! The Brazilian kind! It lasted for days! I think there was Fighting Illini football (meaning Fighting Illini losing), and DEFINITELY Fighting Illini HOCKEY with pregaming at my favorite bar followed by the game (I had season tickets, which were $40 TOTAL!) and extreme harrassment of the visiting team and then more bar. And then on MY actual birthday... oh, a fluid mechanics test. It was a Monday. Things happen.

But that was the start of Birthday Hockey. Let's discuss the birthday hockey record!

2003: Illinois 4, Eastern Michigan 2
2004: tUMD 4, Mankato State 1, things happened
2005: tUMD 6, Tech 3, CURRY SCORES 2 GOALS IN 30 SECONDS!!!!!!!!!!!
2006: tUMD 2, DU 1, Garrison gets the GWG in OT!
2007: tUMD 4, DU 0, Sharp and Bordson have goals!
2008: tUMD 5, SCCC 1, Jacky and Sharp have 2 assists each, Drew Akins gets a goal!!!

Guys. We have to talk. Especially you, David Grun. Guys who wear 27 (Peluso, Curry) have gotten goals for me on my birthday. You must carry on the tradition. But a win is most important. I will not be at the game, which is causing me to hyperventilate (I AM NOT GOING TO SEE A GAME LIVE FOR LIKE THREE FRIGGIN WEEKS), so you guys have to help me. Just... play really really well. And take a commanding lead and never let up. BE RELENTLESS. Please do not make me worry about this game. I have enough stress!!! I KNOW you can do this. Look at the awesome record you've compiled over the last five years. And some of those teams were, like, TERRIBLE. And they STILL pulled out birthday wins for me.

It's Tuesday, four weeks into the season, and I'm already begging. Sigh.

!

All right, it's after midnight, so I can wish a happy birthday to RWD reader Steve/Rinkrat Ranger! Born only one day away from the best possible day of the year to be born.

Tool Academy

tUMD 2, Recipients of tUMD's Charity 4

(Sorry this was late, I had an exam this afternoon.)

Well, to borrow an eastern term, that was a wicked pissah. I should have known better than to drive to St. Cloud, but I just love seeing my Bulldogs and can't stay away.

So, the refs were crackerjack as usual, making only correct calls, according to St. Cloud fans. People who do not understand the rules of hockey because their team dives so much they think a check is interference and skating hard for the puck is taboo.

Aaaaaaaand of course, the fans did not disappoint. And by fans, I specifically mean Bruce Raboin, father of Husky captain Garrett Raboin, and also a sad, pathetic man who felt the need to harass tUMD fans both last year and this year by threatening them in front of the police, making obscene gestures, taunting them, and getting in their faces. This man is representing his son and St. Cloud State University (of which he is a guest) in an embarrassing manner. (Similar to how Brad Shepherd embarrassed his father this weekend.) Now, Bruce, I know that you were selected in the 8th round of the 1980 NHL draft by Washington but never made it to the NHL, and that must really burn, but must you really pretend you are still in college? You're an elementary school teacher at Roosevelt Elementary School in Detroit Lakes. What would the parents of your students say if they saw how you behaved at your son's hockey games?

Enough about them! Let's talk about us! We need to have a little huddle here. Justin... honey, I know the other week on the Penalty Box we were talking about fundamentals rather than flashy stuff... but that penalty shot was weak sauce. It would have been a game changer. It would have turned the tide from those shorthanded goals that the power play gave up, and the dumb penalties, and the phantom penalties, and the missed chances. However, it wasn't the only chance... so really I'm just disappointed that you didn't have a nifty move to show us!

I'm superstitious about my jerseys, so maybe it was my Curry jersey bringing bad luck. Or maybe it was having the ACTUAL Curry stalker in the building!!! (No, people, I'm not the shoe-stealer/letter-writer Viking chick.) Or maybe they didn't get the memo that Tuesday is my birthday (I keep forgetting, too) since I didn't declare it my Birthday Game (meaning now the first Clarkson game is a MUST WIN!) and they weren't properly motivated. I don't know. Whatever. Losses happen. Especially at the National Center for the Weak On Their Skates.

Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 8 (Ugh)
Points until we reach last season's total: 22 (Uber-ugh)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 10!
Brady Lamb: 1
Mike Seidel: 0

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 2 (Sick tonight)
Dan Delisle: 1
Keegan Flaherty: 1 (W000t! Keegs!)
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Others: 0

Connollys
Jacky: 10
Mikey: 5

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 0
Dylan: 2

Drews
Olson: 4
Akins: 4

On Notice (Uh-oh...)
Cody Danberg
Jordan Fulton
David Grun
Jake Hendrickson
Chad Huttel
Drew Olson

Goals Only (not so bad)
Dan Delisle
Keegan Flaherty
Dylan Olsen

Awwwww

tUMD 3, Distinguished Alumni of the Rhett Rakhshani Institute of Unsportsmanlike Diving 3

Hello, who can be mad at the refs when THE CUTEST FREAKING BABY IN THE WHOLE WORLD is decked out in UMD gear!!!! Observe.









Of course, this is not my baby, he is my cousin's, but OMFGBBQ he is so cute and wearing the Bulldog hoodie I sent him. Never mind that he lives in Rhode Island, I am starting the indoctrination soon. This baby's first word will be "Sieve" if I have anything to do with it. And his first sentence will be "OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" if his great-grandfather has anything to do with it.

Obviously this game ended up as the Penalty Pride Parade as we ended up registering 12 penalties. Warranted or not, it killed tUMD. I am really proud of the Dogs for surviving the death march Anderson and Shep2 forced them to walk. The game was not on B2 or TV and I wasn't there in person, so I can't comment on who was naughty and who was nice, but I can only hope these are the same old Dogs that are going to come out on Saturday smoking. I'm happy with a Friday night tie, as Friday night wins are hard to come by, and points in the National Hockey Center are about as rare as a St. Cloud State player staying on his skates if an opponent BREATHES near him.

PBHj had an assist tonight!!! And made 41 saves!!!! Brady, you are the only person holding the Team Cougar WCHA Fantasy Hockey Team together right now! Jacky, you are not helping. But I know you will be helping in the next game, so I'm ok.

Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 8 (But, can't be swept by SCCC!)
Points until we reach last season's total: 22! (Keep those road points comin'!)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 9
Brady Lamb: 1!!!! (On the board! Although Bruce thinks the goal should be Smitty's)
Mike Seidel: 0 (in Duluth)

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 2 (Sick tonight)
Dan Delisle: 1
Keegan Flaherty: 1 (W000t! Keegs!)
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Others: 0

Connollys
Jacky: 9
Mikey: 5! (He's comin'! He's comin'!)

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 0
Dylan: 2

Drews
Olson: 4
Akins: 4 (Now has as many points as penalty minutes!)

Where The Wild Things Were

Once there was a little boy named Justin Fontaine, who was really really really good at hockey.























On Saturday night, he came out onto the ice for a game, and he noticed something was strange.


















He was playing against HAIRY SCARY MONSTERS!

The HAIRY SCARY MONSTERS tried to hurt Justin! They did all kinds of mean things to him, like check him from behind into the boards, and shove him down to the ice, and ram him into the crossbar.

But Justin remembered that he was really really really good at hockey, and he realized that was all he needed.


















He scored two power play goals and conquered the HAIRY SCARY MONSTERS!


















He might have even gotten home in time for cake.

The Wild Rumpus

...is about to commence.

FIRST PLACE BULLDOGS!!! 3, Ultimate Gladiators 2

Ok, this is going to be a very short post. Because look at the time stamp! OMG!

Not the best game tUMD has ever played. Not the worst. But I love, love, LOVE that they found a way to win it. They were down 2-0 in the first period, but they battled. And it WAS a battle. Just as Justin Fontaine. The Mavs were trying to kill him, I think.

Tomorrow = fun post. I promise.

The Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 8! (SWEEPITY SWEEP!)
Points until we reach last season's total: 23! (BROOMS!)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 9!!!! (So AMAZING!!!!)
Brady Lamb: 0
Mike Seidel: 0 (In the lineup! Yeah!)

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 2
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Dan Delisle: 1! (Great job, Dan!)
Others: 0

Connollys
Jacky: 9!
Mikey: 4!

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 0
Dylan: 2

Drews
Olson: 4
Akins: 4 (He pulls even!)

Moo!

tUMD 5, Purple People-Eaters 2

Gonna be a short post tonight. Mama needs her rest for a long day. I'm going to the Homecoming game, then Sammy's, then the hockey game, then general debauchery. I'm barely conscious as it is. First I had to dance to Party in the U.S.A. I have the best dance moves EVER, people. Except the Sprinkler is too challenging for me. Then I had to weather an assault from Biddco, as he tried to destroy everything purple I had. This included an INDIGO NOT PURPLE shirt, a purple blanket and my bag of toiletries which he assumed had to have something purple. Then he threw a box at me and the corner of it hit me in the back. Things were out of hand. Perhaps even bananas.

Awesome and glorious and fantastic three-period effort for tDogs in front of over 4800! With four FULL student sections, everyone standing!!

Special thanks to Jacky, Brady Hjelle, and Dylan Olsen for helping out Team Cougar, my fantasy team. No thanks to Mike Louwerse, but I am very cool with that!

All right, Numbers.

Wins until we reach last season's total: 9! (Conference win!)
Points until we reach last season's total: 25! (Yes!)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 7!!!! (WOWZA!!! And also many more chances that could have been!)
Brady Lamb: 0
Mike Seidel: 0

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 2! (Yes!)
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Others: 0

Connollys
Jacky: 7!
Mikey: 2! (SHORTHANDED GOAL!!!)

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 0
Dylan: 2

Drews
Olson: 4
Akins: 2
(somehow no Drews in the penalty box tonight. WEIRD!)

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's RWD!

Partial UMD hockey team 1, Disease-riddled Yoopers 3

Well, hello there. How are you? I am fine, thank you.













Not a great game. I wasn't there in person, which is good, because I would be driving right now and be tired and grouchy. However, I was hit with the double whammy of the Bulldogs and the Twins finding their respective games beyond their respective grasps almost simultaneously.

So, UMD was one injury away from jamming a jersey on top of Biddco's banana suit and shoving him out there to take a few shifts. Travis Oleksuk and Kyle Schmidt were both injured in the game against Lake Superior State, and Mike Connolly was still serving his suspension. This allowed both Wade Bergman and Jake Hendrickson to crack the lineup for the first time, and Scott Kishel had to take some shifts at forward. Kenny Reiter also started his first game for UMD, which is great for him! and had nothing to do with injuries or anything.

Now, no one was expecting this game to be pretty. However, I still thought UMD had the edge in the first period, as Northern turned over the puck practically as soon as they touched it. Then UMD had 3 straight power plays with nothing going on and I started to get worried.

The second period made me even MORE nervous because NMU scored and the way the game was going, a 1-0 score might have held up. My Jacky disagreed and roofed a shot 17 seconds after UMD had finished killing off a penalty. Justin Fontaine had the first assist and all-around hard worker Jake Hendrickson got the second assist, his first point as a Bulldog. Fabulous! Then with a little over a minute to go in the period, NMU scored again. Sadness.

And thus began what I shall refer to as Crazy Pepe's Chug 'n' Skate, which is the winter version of Crazy Pepe's Chug 'n' Toss, a game invented by my heroine Bat-Girl to describe Twins games that were... less than perfect. The parade to the penalty box had more participants than San Francisco Pride Week. The B2 feed didn't have the best angles, so I did not see My Sweet Jacky's penalty, but I can only assume it was COMPLETELY UNWARRANTED and an UTTER TRAVESTY.

Kenny had a great game, and I'm glad that he got to start. He made some insane saves. However, Kenny. Please. Stay in the net more. I was frightened at times. Thank you.

Best part about this game? (Duckies and bunnies! Duckies and bunnies!) All the valuable experience the freshmen got on the power play and penalty kill. They showed some real promise and will hopefully give us some depth off the bench.

MIKE CONNOLLY: please be a good boy from now on. You were sorely missed.

The Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 10 (more noncon)
Points until we reach last season's total: 27 (more noncon)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 4!!!!
Brady Lamb: 0
Mike Seidel: 0

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 1
Jake Hendrickson: 1! (Great job, Jake!)
Others: donut

Connollys
Jacky: 4
Mikey: 0 (suit and tie)

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 0
Dylan: 1

Drews
Olson: 4
Akins: 2

Last Night

tUMD 4, Essentially Canada 3

Yesterday was pretty much insane.

MEg and I headed up to Duluth at about noon after packing the PBHjT shirts that hadn't gone up to Duluth with Biddco last weekend. The ride up was nice, though the fall colors haven't peaked yet. Next weekend, maybe?

I FINALLY got my season tickets, though the only reason I did was because I went to the UMD ticket office to pick them up. I'm a season ticket holder, finally! W00t w00t!

In the final hours of our planning, we went over the cheer a few more times, packed up the shirts into fifteen grocery bags, made a sign for the shirts, and then loaded everything into Linnea's vehicle and headed down to the dreaded Little Angie's.

Biddco put on the banana suit in the DECC parking lot and the five of us hauled the bags inside, where I was to confront my worst fears. I had been in a state of inner panic for the last few hours wondering if the shirts were going to be confiscated. But then the first thing that happened as we walked in was the cop at the door bought a shirt, and we were in.

Once we got set up and students started trickling in, my amazing and fabulous friends went to work to pimp out the shirts any way they could. I have to take a moment to thank them: Zach, Lindsey, Linnea, Richie, Reign, Donna (not me), Adam, and of course MeanEgirl and Biddco. The PBHjT shirts were VERY popular, especially since we had an actual banana.

tUMD decided to raise the Final Five banner yesterday before the game, which was dumb because 1. people don't usually arrive too early on Fridays and 2. we did it against a non-conference opponent and they weren't even on the ice. They should have waited until next weekend and done it in front of Mankato State to rub their faces in it. I thought that was the point of a banner raising. Oh yeah, and also to applaud our team. The BEST part about it was the return of Matt Greer! They should have done it at intermission so more people would be there to applaud him!

The only part of PBHjT that was unsuccessful was doing the actual Peanut Butter Hjelle Time cheer. I'm not really sure why people were so averse to it. I mean, these are the same people who sang "The Wheels On Your House" against Denver. Since when did they get so picky about what cheers they would and would not do?

Justin Fontaine got things going in the first period about 9 minutes in, set up by My Sweet Jacky and Drew Akins. Drew on the power play spells good things for Team Cougar in WCHA fantasy hockey. On the next power play, Fonzie got another totally sick goal on an incredibly sweet setup from My Jacky and also Dylan Olsen, who is the first freshman to get a point! tUMD was rolling until some ill-timed penalties led to LSSU's first goal. LSSU scored with an extra attacker while already on the power play, which at first seemed very unfortunate, but actually just set up My Jacky to get a shorthanded goal! That was very exciting! And of course it was set up by Arthur Fonzarelli and a fresh from the penalty box Scott Kishel.

And thus ended the first period.

Obviously the reason they did the banner raising pre-game was because it was ALSO parents' weekend, and they brought out all the parents on the all-purpose red carpet. Some of us started a "Thank you parents" chant but it didn't last nearly long enough. Don't forget, folks, that our beloved Bulldogs are here thanks to the time, money, love, support, and superior genetics of their parents.

The second period was exciting only because former My Guy Rob Bordson got a goal!!! Fantastic for him. The last time Bordo had a goal was on my birthday in 2007. Getting out from under the burden of being My Guy probably helped him, as I know it's a lot of pressure.

The third period felt pretty flat, and the fans kind of slacked. I blame this on all the normal agitators who went to the Curling Club and didn't return until 5 minutes into the period. I know it's "cool" to try to see how much hockey you can miss in the CC, but the students need their leaders in the section! Lake Superior State brought the deficit within one, which made the game needlessly tense, but Hjelle was up to the task and protected the lead. Dan Delisle laid out a monster hit on a Laker player that registered a 5 on the Richter Scale.

All that is left is to take care of a demoralized Northern Michigan and we will continue our dominance in the Showcase Showdown!

On a side note, a group of us waited for Brady after the game to congratulate him (I know! So unlike me! Normally I would be as far away from the team as possible!!) and to put a face to the banana, which he thought was really funny. He is an incredibly nice guy and we had a nice conversation which mostly revolved around how Michigan Tech sucks.

I will not be at the game on Sunday as it's too much of a stretch to make it up there in time, but t-shirts will STILL be available in case you were unable to pick yours up last night.

Bulldog hockey is back. HALLELUJAH!

Numbers Only

I've got school in the morning. I'm gonna post for reals tomorrow, but I'm SOOOOO excited that 1. tUMD won and 2. PBHjT was AWESOME!!!! More to come.

Wins until we reach last season's total: 10 (non con)
Points until we reach last season's total: 27 (non con)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brady Lamb: 0
Mike Seidel: 0

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 1
Others: donut

Connollys
Jacky: 3
Mikey: 0 (seat warming)

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 0
Dylan: 1

Drews
Olson: 2
Akins: 0

Tweet Tweet!

Yes, I'm still alive. Well, barely, I have a crummy cold that has left me down for the count.

Tomorrow is PEANUT BUTTER HJELLE TIME!!!!! so I'll be in Duluth. Don't forget, we've got t-shirts for sale for $10. All the cool kids are wearing them! Tomorrow they are also raising our Final Five Championship banner, which is exciting!

I will be attempting to use Twitter during the game, although there will be A LOT going on, so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to comment.

Lake Superior State sucks and I will not accept a tie. The 'Dogs should be coming out amped up and ready for hockey that counts. Plus they will have had time to practice and get things organized.

Also, because nothing motivates like a good fight montage:

Part Three

UMD Hockey: The Return of the Jedi

Final installment of the highlight video!

I have to say... there are some absolutely SICK goals scored on this video. There are also garbage goals. And Akins being Akins (no video is complete without Drew going "ape poopy" as Ciskie says). And some insane saves. And togas!

Practice Makes Perfect

All right, people. I know that I post a lot about driving. I just spend a lot of time in my car during hockey season. Unfortunately I was not supposed to today. But I got lost driving home before the game. Yes, in the metro area I've lived most of my life, but seriously... I... ugh. Think of every swear that you know. Now imagine that there are about 30 more that you don't know. I used all of those words. Like, even a sailor would put a bar of soap in my mouth.

So I missed 1 period and I missed one of my Jacky's goals. I'm sure his Spidey senses told him I'd missed it, because he went right out and got another one. Rumor has it he should have gotten the first and second assists on his own goal because of how hard he worked. I would not know this, because even if I HAD been home on time, stupid B2 was not working. SO STRESSFUL.

Peanut Butter Hjelle and E-Z Reiter combined for a shut-out. Supposedly Kenny only made 7 saves, but it sounded like he played superfantastic. And PBHj just gave a HUGE jolt of momentum to the Peanut Butter Hjelle Time Scorched Earth Campaign. So did Bruce Ciskie, by mentioning it on the air. Thank you Bruce! And welcome back, of course!!!

Arthur Fonzarelli also had 2 goals. One was short handed and assisted on by M-CON (I am loving the idea of the uber-aggressive PK) and Chad Huttel! And the other was assisted on by Jacky and by Jordy (remember? We're calling him Jordy) Fulton.

Are you ready for some practice Numbers? Here we go:

Wins until we reach last season's exhibition total: done!
Points until we reach last season's exhibition total: also done!

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 3
Brady Lamb: 0
Mike Seidel: 0

Freshmen
Everyone: Zip-a-dee-doo-dah

Connollys
Jacky: 3
Mikey: 1

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 0
Dylan: 0

Drews
Olson: 2
Akins: 0 (Now, come on, Drew. This is unacceptable. NO penalties? Muttsdrool was lonely without you.)

On Notice
No one! Let's stay that way for real!

Hockey Eve

I dwell in Possibility--
A fairer House than Prose--
More numerous of Windows--
Superior--for Doors--

Of Chambers as the Cedars--
Impregnable of Eye--
And for an Everlasting Roof
The Gambrels of the Sky--

Of Visitors--the fairest--
For Occupation--This--
The spreading wide my narrow Hands
To gather Paradise--
Emily Dickinson

I'm ready for this season to start. The Twins have been stressing me out long enough; I'm ready for a new kind of stress. I'm not going to be able to make the game (too much to do to prepare for Peanut Butter Hjelle Time) and so we're going to hook up the B2 feed to our television. Exciting!

The t-shirts have arrived at my house, by the way, and they look awesome. Please let me know if you would like one!

It sounds as though all 3 goalies will be playing this year, so we'll get our first look at Aaron Crandall, and I think also our first look at Kenny Reiter, I believe. Brady will play too, but of course it's not OFFICIALLY PBHjT until FRIDAY. It also sounds like we'll get some long looks at the new guys as well as guys who didn't play much last year.

STILL no roster for UBC. HOW am I supposed to make fun of their names and find out if there are any 30-year-olds on the team without the roster?? I hate them already.

Let's shoot for 10 goals, guys! I feel that's within range.

Rosie the Riveter

(This is a totally lazy post, I know.)

One-and-done Bulldog Jay Rosehill made the big leagues with the Toronto Pot Maple Leaves.



Aww, honey! Mama is so proud of you! And I'm glad you're doing this to another hockey player like you're supposed to instead of a bouncer at a club.