09 October 2006

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly: UMD

The first stop in our Hottie Preview is, of course, the UMD Bulldogs.

The Good
A definite candidate for the WCHA All-Hottie Freshman Squad is defenseman Trent Palm. I had to look twice, but Trent definitely has a certain je ne sais quoi. I guess he also was a member of the National Hottie Development Program.
Alex Stalock and Logan Gorsalitz prove that, if you just smiled, for crying out loud, it will do wonders for you.
I looked at Ryan Geris's roster photo and I was like "ugggh," thinking the poor guy was destined for the Bad list, but then I saw another photo of him on the 'Dogs website, and he looked smokin', so here he is on the Good list instead.

The Bad
People who look like someone's kid brother can not be considered a hottie. This includes Chase Ryan, Mitch Ryan, and Andrew Carroll. Normally, I would say a year in the WCHA can take care of this sort of issue, but then again, Carroll is a sophomore.
Consequently, if you look bizarrely old for your age, Nate Ziegelmann, it doesn't work for me either.
Jordan Fulton needs more of a bad boy edge, because I think he's got serious potential in the Hottie category. We already know he is an amazing hockey player.
Jason Garrison and Drew Akins just didn't impress. I don't have anything to say, negative or positive.
Michael Gergen was a disappointment. We all know Michael's my favorite current Bulldog, and it pains me to put him on the Bad list, but I'm not going to pull any punches.
Resemblance to celebrities is a good thing... unless you're resembling not-so-attractive celebrities. Mason Raymond channels Gary Sinise, while Mike Curry is becoming more and more Cusack-esque, and neither is a good thing.
Memo to Matt McKnight: Did you even change your photo this year?
If you don't smile, you end up on the Bad list, which is what happened to Matt Greer, Josh Meyers, and former All-Hottie Freshman Team Honoree MacGregor Sharp (who looks near tears).
Josh Johnson and Jeff McFarland may not have made the Good list, but they have certainly stepped it up for their senior year. Let's hope that happens on the ice, too. Travis Gawryletz, Jay Cascalenda, and Nick Kemp all deserve a round of applause for making drastic improvements in their hair, if nothing else.

The Ugly
These people aren't ugly, for sure, but people, friends don't let friends get away with horrible hair. [Matt] Nisky [Niskanen] has this jacked up slicked back thing going on, making it look like he came from diving practice, and the only hockey player who went to diving practice was Robbie Earl. I saw this picture of Matt on the WJC page last year, and he had on a hat and his hair was sticking out from under it in curls and I was like "Hello, darlin'," and I really had high hopes for this year's photo.
Another serious hair mistake came from an All-Hottie Second Team Honoree, Bryan McGregor. Long hair is not for everyone, and just because Steve Czech is gone, it doesn't mean you need to try to look like him. I don't forsee a repeat on the hottie list for Bryan.

I know it seems like I was probably a little tough on my guys, but this is the WCHA, people. The standard is set high. I'm certainly not going to play any favorites here, just because the Bulldogs are my team.

6 comments:

LetsGoMavs said...

If it's possible...you should make it so that us loyal readers can click on the names to view the pix. It would be very handy!

DC said...

For loyal readers, anything.

LetsGoMavs said...

Thanks! I was just flipping back and forth between your blog and the UND website and it was driving me nuts! UND's got a pretty good looking team...but I still hate them.

LetsGoMavs said...

I think that Nate Ziegelmann looks like Don Lucia...perhaps they're long lost siblings?!?! Kinda how I'm convinced that's the case with Lew Ford and Lindsay Whalen...

DC said...

You wouldn't happen to be in Chicago right now, would you?

Anonymous said...

Um just wondering why half the team is wearing the same damn shirt and tie?