10 October 2006

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly: DU

Last year, Denver had one of the hottest hotties in the nation, Matt Carle, winner of the Hottie Hobey Baker Award. Carle is now in the NHL, so Denver has lost a lot of their hottness. Can they make it up with this year's freshman class?

The Good
Perennial hottie Zach Blom, while still hott, will probably miss the All-Hottie Team this year, since he cut his hair, which is a tragedy. Freshman forward Tyler Ruegsegger joins the Good list this year. Freshman defender Keith Seabrook, while nowhere near Matt Carle's hottness, also makes the Good list. Who knows? 3 years from now, he could be at the top of his game, too.
There were a few people last year who felt like I overlooked Pioneers goaltender Glenn Fisher, and evidently, I did. With a much better picture this year, he's in the running for the All-Hottie Team. I mean, he's got dimples!

The Bad
Several DU players were on the hottness bubble this year. I might have picked Cody Brockwell, if he didn't look like he wore basketball jerseys as shirts and drove a Bronco with tricked out lighting that shakes with the bass from his stereo as he drives around campus. Steven Cook has been a hottie contender before, but there's something I can't put my finger on that holds him back from his true potential. Patrick Mullen has that same issue. If TJ Fast had cracked a smile, maybe he'd have made it. Same for Mike Handza. Somehow, I don't think that would have helped Brandon Vossberg.
Remember, guys, hair is important. Brian Gifford should grow longer hair, so it covers his ears. J.D. Corbin could have made it if he didn't have bed head. And Tom May should have showered more than 30 seconds before the photo was taken, or used a hair dryer.
Some people told me I should have included Chris Butler and Peter Mannino on the Hottie list last year, but I respectfully disagree. And I guess an argument could be made for J.P. Testwuide, Andrew Thomas, or Brock Trotter, but it wouldn't be a very strong one.
And what would a Bad list be without a celebrity look-alike? This time it's third-string goaltender Danny King, channeling Matthew Perry. Yeesh. I guess you could also include Julian Marcuzzi in this category, since he looks like Ogie Oglethorpe from Slap Shot. And Adrian Veideman looks like Dave "Killer" Carlson.
And then, there's the "other" bubble. Where you just miss being on the Ugly list. Rhett Rakhshani, Ryan Dingle, Matt Glasser, and Ryan Helgason, you're on notice.

The Ugly
The only member of the Pioneers team to make the Ugly list this year is the Big Ugly himself, Geoff Paukovich. Don't think there will be any arguments to the contrary.

5 comments:

LetsGoMavs said...

I'm pretty sure you can put Rakhshani on the ugly list and be safe. Wow...uggo.

MeanEgirl said...

Manno SO belongs on the good list! Maybe that isn't the best picture of him, but he's a hottie!

csmith10du said...

I have to say, I was APPALLED when I saw this years roster pics for DU. NO ONE looks good…but if I may, I’d like to make a few comments on your picks.

The Good
I really don’t get the love for Blom, really…Ruegsegger is a cutie, but he’s just so young! Seabrook is drop dead gorgeous in person. Fisher is just so broody that it ups his quotient a bunch.

The Bad
You described Brookwell to a T. I think it’s safe to say the Cook belongs on the ugly list…Mullen looks funny in this pic and well there’s not a lot to say about Fast that hasn’t already been said…I think Handza might be the least photogenic person on the planet. And Vossberg, well, there are just no words for that facial expression.

I never noticed Gifford’s ears until I read that, all in all, his hair’s not so bad (and I should know with my obsession with hair!). Corbin doesn’t just have bed head, it fully looks like a hairy animal died and he is wearing its hair as a wig…might be the worst hair I’ve seen in a LONG time…May hair is glorious! I love his man-mane…

Chris Butler looks positively terrible in that picture but is generally a hottie in person, same goes for Mannino, Testwuide (prolly the second least photogenic person on the planet), Thomas, and Trotter.

I never noticed that King looks like Matthew Perry…have you ever noticed that Marcuzzi is always looking to his right in every picture? It’s true…this is probably Veideman’s best picture yet.

Rakhshani’s hair cracks me up but I think it’s really the only thing really wrong with his picture. Dingle is a lost cause…Glasser’s picture is terrible, but give him a chance…Helgason is another much better looking in person guy.

The Ugly
No comment.

Runninwiththedogs said...

Blom was grandfathered in... he used to have awesome long hair.

Anonymous said...

it's funny you post a list on looks, but don't have the courage to post your photo. Not much credibility there...