16 November 2008

Walk of Shame

tUMD 1, Commies 4

Oh god. I really don't want to write this. Not just because I'm dead tired and still fuzzy from all the, um, excitement of yesterday, but also because... well, the game.

But let's talk about the real winners from yesterday. No, not the Sons of Stalin, but the hard-drinking boys and girls of the Penalty Box, who presciently drank away what I can only describe as a day that should otherwise be forgotten.

Let's have a little play-by-play.

2:00 - Grandmas Saloon
I was a little late, and there weren't that many people there, mainly the organizers, Sando and C...C...C..., and a few others. Some of the group had started drinking at 10 even after a rough night before. Ooh-rah hard-chargers! Quote of the bar: "I cracked open my first beer while I was on the phone with my mom." I'm sure she's proud.
I drank: a shot of Jack Daniels

2:22 - Bellisios
The point of doing Bellisio's early is to ensure we are not unbelievably drunk by the time we arrive there. I think in the future it could be skipped without any great loss to tDHW, but it does have a bar and is in Canal Park. It's just expensive. And we are obvs. way too classy for it. A few more joined our group. Quote of the bar: "Next time I'll order their second cheapest wine."
I drank: nothing

2:44 - Little Angie's
Slowest service ever! How long does it take to make a Mojito? Correction: how long does it take to START a Mojito? Also, Sando asked for a margarita in a "rocks glass" because he didn't want a whole giant margarita. He received it in practically a pint glass. Quote of the bar: "Give me some of that pineapple crap." I meant the pineapple-infused rum. Which was good.
I drank: a shot of the aforementioned "pineapple crap."

3:06 - Club Saratoga
We left Little Angie's a bit early, so we were at tToga for a long time. Listening to boring jazz music. The Gopher game was on TV and they showed MEg. I called her and told her I loved her. Quote of the bar: "I tried to lick the pole. It tasted good."
I drank: nothing

3:28 - Red Lobster
Red Lobster was a pretty uneventful bar--until the end. They were really nice and gave us complimentary biscuits, which were very well received. For a lot of us, that was our dinner. As we were leaving, someone was talking about how they wished they had a big fish to throw on the ice that night. Someone else pointed out there was a tank of lobsters and we could use one of them. Quote of the bar: "Thank you!" That was the hostess at Red Lobster as we went out the door; she was completely oblivious to the hijinks behind her. C...C...C... had just stuck his hand in the lobster tank and pulled one out, posing for a few photos.
I drank: a shot of Crown Royal, aka C. Royale, Attorney-at-law

3:50 - Hell's Kitchen
Things really picked up here as tAnchor crew showed up and rounded out the group. I wouldn't say anything really exciting happened here though. Tragic. No quote of the bar.
I drank: nothing, I think.

4:12 - Timberlodge
Monte and Tom showed up, which was very exciting. Timberlodge was also the only place that had happy hour specials! On a Saturday! Way to go, Timberlodge! It was something like $3 beers and $4 rail drinks? I would have a "Quote of the bar" but I can't remember what the bartender's response was when I asked him what the rail whiskey was. I decided to pay extra rather than drink turpentine or whatever it was.
I drank: a shot of Windsor

4:34 - Old Chicago
O.C. was supposed to be our food stop, but it was pretty packed so the organizers called an audible and decided to eat at Green Mill instead. People got very into the puzzle game at the bar. Quote of the bar: "WISCONSIN SUCKS!!!" "Nice to meet you, too." Yeah, I kind of ambushed a girl. But, seriously. They suck.
I drank: a Scooby Snack

4:56 - Green Mill
I didn't eat anything here but quite a few people did. I spent most of my time yelling at the top of my lungs, which is how I usually converse with people. Evidently, after we left for Famous Dave's, some of the crew that stayed behind got kicked out for some inventive spelling. Quote of the bar: "I was surprised to hear you were married after all the things you said about Mike Curry."
I drank: nothing

5:37 - Famous Dave's
Famous Dave's does not have a bar. All it has is a walk-up window where we ordered booze. If you looked in the kitchen, there was a shelf with like 10 bottles of alcohol. That was their bar. Amazing. Beers were really cheap there.
I drank: nothing

5:59 - Sports Garden
Upon entering tGarden, I ambushed poor FHG and harrassed him until he agreed to buy me a drink. What a good guy. (SEE. I SAID SOMETHING NICE ABOUT YOU, AND IT WASN'T A BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT.) Then I assaulted a poor, unsuspecting Bulldog fan simply because he would not tell me why he had a purple pass to get into games. But seriously, Mike, if you had just told me then there would have been no need for violence.
I drank: a shot of Jack Daniels

6:30 - Curling Club
Everyone sort of splintered off at this point. I didn't stay there too long because I wanted to get into my seat. I think... yeah, I made it to my seat for introductions.
I drank: nothing

And then... the game. Which was not fun. Gergy had an assist, which was very exciting, and we certainly had some chances, but all in all it was a rotten game. I am rarely critical on here because I don't feel it's necessary (
the commenters on Pates's blog have got that taken care of!) nor am I enough of a great hockey mind to really break down the game. But there wasn't a single aspect of the game that went well for tDogs last night, and we were never really in the game. It was unfortunate, and I don't expect to see it happen again. It shouldn't happen again. There is enough talent and sense on this team to respond with fire and intensity against probably the most vulnerable North Dakota team in years. I expect 4 points this weekend, or an effort worthy of 4 points, at the very least. We will lose some games; it's just part of the season. But I expected those losses to be games where the team fights the whole time. And I don't mean by hurting people, I mean by making smart plays and hustling. I know we've got some fast guys on the team, so SKATE. SERIOUSLY.

The Numbers
Wins until we equal last season's total: 8
Points until we equal last season's total: 19

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 12
Jack Connolly: 7
Michael Gergen: 5!
Rob Bordson: 0

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 10 (Obviously would have had a hatty if McBain had not been such a little baby!)
Jack Connolly: 7
Scott Kishel: 0
Brady Lamb: 0
Travis Oleksuk: 0
David Grun: 0

On Notice (Getting too long boys! Come on!):
Drew Akins
Rob Bordson
Jay Cascalenda
Jack Connolly
Jordan Fulton
Matt Greer
Kyle Schmidt
Alex Stalock

Goals Only
Andrew Carroll
Cody Danberg
Nick Kemp
Mike Montgomery
Trent Palm
MacGregor Sharp

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The rail whisky was one of either two:

McMasters or BJ Holiday Private Stock, both are tough.

Goon said...

Ohhh, those rail whisky are brutal, but I do like the Jack Daniels. Now that is an awesome Whisky.