17 November 2008

The Truth Is Out There

I guess UND Blogger Extraordinaire Dirty had his little undies in a bunch after UND split with UAA, so he decided to take it out on me. And no, he couldn't find anything to say about ME, because 1. he is too scared and 2. I am gorgeous and perfect, so he thought he'd take it out on innocent Connollys. Well, Dirty needs to learn, if you mess with the cubs, look out for Mama bear!

I have been secretly gathering intel on Dirty for WEEKS, for exactly this purpose. I didn't know exactly how he would strike, but I knew I needed to be ready.

Dirty's parents (whose basement he resides in) sent me his baby picture.
















He insists on using a litter box instead of a toilet.

Dirty's favorite song is "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. He also likes Panic! at the Disco.

Dirty let Zach Jones pierce his nipple. Just the left one.

Dirty's dream home is a single-wide trailer in St. Cloud, MN. With DudeLove as a roommate.

When Dirty was last suspended from USCHO, he cried for a week.

He cried harder than that during John Denver's Wildlife Concert.

His favorite blog is Hammy's.
















The above photo is security camera footage of Dirty moments before he stole an old woman's purse. That old "woman" turned out to be PCM.

Dirty stole the Lindbergh baby.

For every post Dirty makes on USCHO, he donates $.01 to PBS. He calls in every individual pledge. They've tried to block his number, but he's resorted to using pay phones.

You know that elevator TJ Oshie peed in last year? Dirty licked its floor.

I don't even need Photoshop to make incriminating photos of Dirty.
















Shortly after this photo was taken, he made out with Brenthoven, who said it was just so-so.

Dirty has a signed Danny Irmen jockstrap. He also sleeps with a stuffed Badger named Robbie.

He thinks Brandon Geist is cute. He said he loves the dimples. He's plotting to kill T in her sleep.

Maid in Manhattan is Dirty's favorite movie, followed by Beaches.

Dirty puts up his Christmas decorations in September, even before Macy's.

His signature karaoke song is "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera. He practices in front of the mirror nightly.

That picture of Duncs and Kozek in the hottub is the desktop background on his computer, except he digitally inserted his face over Kozek.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your dreamin' if you think you'll get 4 pts. this weekend.

Sioux sweep. Hextall for Hobey.

Goon said...

You get the picture where Dirty is wearing shorts and tights. :)

Fire Helmet Guy #26 said...

Just becuase your blog will never live up to the "EPIC-ness" of Dirty's, don't take it out on him! HA

Runninwiththedogs said...

CAN'T ANYONE USE GOOD GRAMMAR ON THIS SITE???????????????????????

Brandon said...

I was going to leave a legit comment, but since I'm not on your BLOGROLL!!!! I guess I won't. In case you want to blogroll it anyway, it's http://siouxyeahyeahforever.blogspot.com

Oh, and if Dirty tries to kill T, there will be consequences.

Runninwiththedogs said...

I didn't even know you knew RWD existed.

Although, without it, your blog would not exist.

Dirty said...

Geist, you may be the biggest blogwhore in the history of blogwhores. You are the Jenna Jameson of blogwhores. It is sad. Dude Love is going to read these comments and think "Wow, Geist sure is pathetic."

Runninwiththedogs said...

Dude Love doesn't read this blog.

Donald Dunlop said...

I bet if I called him gay that he'd show up in 5 minutes.

Anonymous said...

Looking at his cloths I am not sure that isn't true?

Anonymous said...

You are also not funny. You and Dirty actually have a lot of common, but that doesn't include originality. This dry type of humor you use is sophomoric, boring, and lame. Think of something funny to say before you press the send button. That goes for you too Dirty. Did you guys graduate from college or are you just "townies" slummin' in the armpit of America's worst 2 cities? Get a life. Better yet, get a sense of humor. This is not good literature. ZZZ. ZZZ.

Anonymous said...

UAA hockey blog. Read a blog thats good.

Runninwiththedogs said...

I read every post on Donald's blog. He also reads and likes mine. I am certainly sorry you don't like this blog or think it's funny. I know you can't get those seconds of your life back that you spent reading it, but in the future, not reading it would help. Happy Thanksgiving!!!