Imagine
tUMD 5, Puddytats 2
I had a little bit of a stressful night tonight. You see, I have a Friday night class this trimester. This is the first Friday class I've had since fall '07 and I can tell you right now, it is the worst freaking feeling. Actually things have changed since then because I did not have unlimited texting and data on my phone at the time. I still had to use the numeric keypad. So, thanks for the updates, folks.
Evan Oberg has been called up to the bigs. Doesn't mean I like the Canucks.
So I missed the game. Didn't even listen to it. Froze in the classroom as though I was at the rink. Whoopee. I sort of imagined how the game would go. Let's go to the score sheet!
FIRST PERIOD
10:12 UMD 0 - CC 1
Stephen Schultz (David Civitarese, Nate Prosser)
I looked at the stat sheet on College Hockey Stats, and it lists no tUMD players on the ice at the time of the goal. This is a good explanation for what happened. They were probably getting porketta dogs at the concession stand. Who wouldn't?
17:44 UMD 1 - CC 1
Kyle Schmidt (Rob Bordson, Travis Oleksuk)
Hello, Kyle Schmidt is the most clutch guy we have on our team. I need to look at our record when he has a goal. Pretty sure Oleksuk probably rubbed some CC guy off the puck, chipped it to Bordo, and then Bordo got it to Schmitty at our blue line and he took off like a he'd just been hit with 1.21 jigowatts of electricity, leaving a pair of fire trails in his wake, and Sandy stood in between them and yelled "IT WORKS! I'VE FINALLY FOUND A LINE COMBINATION THAT WORKS!!!!" Because really, I love the idea of those 3 together.
SECOND PERIOD
4:31 UMD 2 - CC 1 (PP)
Drew Akins (Rob Bordson, Scott Kishel)
The secondary unit strikes again! I like it!
An Akins goal? Well, that's gotta be a Kishel blast from the point, rebound to Bordo for another save, and then Akins jams the puck in while using one hand to punch two CC defenders and their goalie. The Akins Diet? It's tiger meat.
6:04 UMD 3 - CC 1
Mike Connolly (Jack Connolly)
CC players were too busy heeding one of the #1 rules in hockey: Keep Your Head Up, to notice our Lilliputian brothers-from-another-motherland skating unheeded to the net. Then they danced a jig and found a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
11:03 UMD 4 - CC 1 (PP)
Justin Fontaine (Jack Connolly, Mike Connolly)
FIRST OF ALL I hear this goal should belong to my Jacky. This upsets me as a fantasy hockey manager. The guy who has Fontaine is in the lead or in 2nd place or something. However, his strategery is flawed, and I do feel that Team Cougar is still gonna make the playoffs.
Anyway. I think what happened here is CC was like "Look, we're on the penalty kill, and the BI-MON-SCI-FI-CON line is out, why even try?", waved a white flag, and fled like the French. Mon Dieu!
THIRD PERIOD
0:44 UMD 4 - CC 2
Bill Sweatt (Mike Testwuide)
44 seconds into the period? The team was probably lined up, waiting for a whistle, so they didn't walk in front of the play.
2:25 UMD 5 - CC 2 (PP)
Justin Fontaine (Mike Connolly, Brady Lamb)
Um, duh. Obviously this happened.
I am certain this is accurate! Back in action tomorrow night!
Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 1! (I'm going to invite Kirby Puckett's kid to turn this from 1 to 0, TOMORROW!)
Points until we reach last season's total: 8! (We had a lot of ties.)
My Guys
Jack Connolly: 30! (Has now beaten his point total for all of last season. WOW!)
Brady Lamb: 11!
Mike Seidel: 8 (Not in the lineup??? What???)
Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 9
Mike Seidel: 8
Wade Bergman: 2
Keegan Flaherty: 2
Dan Delisle: 1
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Drew Olson: 1
Connollys
Jacky: 30!
Mikey: 23! (AWESOME GAME!!!!!)
Olsen/Olson
Drew: 1
Dylan: 9
Drews
Olson: 10
Akins: 24 (Had a little bit too much fun despite his "new" "safety" equipment)
On Notice
Dan Delisle
Keegan Flaherty
Dylan Olsen
Drew Olson
Goals Only
Jordan Fulton
Chad Huttel
Scott Kishel
Dylan Olsen
Mike Seidel
I had a little bit of a stressful night tonight. You see, I have a Friday night class this trimester. This is the first Friday class I've had since fall '07 and I can tell you right now, it is the worst freaking feeling. Actually things have changed since then because I did not have unlimited texting and data on my phone at the time. I still had to use the numeric keypad. So, thanks for the updates, folks.
Evan Oberg has been called up to the bigs. Doesn't mean I like the Canucks.
So I missed the game. Didn't even listen to it. Froze in the classroom as though I was at the rink. Whoopee. I sort of imagined how the game would go. Let's go to the score sheet!
FIRST PERIOD
10:12 UMD 0 - CC 1
Stephen Schultz (David Civitarese, Nate Prosser)
I looked at the stat sheet on College Hockey Stats, and it lists no tUMD players on the ice at the time of the goal. This is a good explanation for what happened. They were probably getting porketta dogs at the concession stand. Who wouldn't?
17:44 UMD 1 - CC 1
Kyle Schmidt (Rob Bordson, Travis Oleksuk)
Hello, Kyle Schmidt is the most clutch guy we have on our team. I need to look at our record when he has a goal. Pretty sure Oleksuk probably rubbed some CC guy off the puck, chipped it to Bordo, and then Bordo got it to Schmitty at our blue line and he took off like a he'd just been hit with 1.21 jigowatts of electricity, leaving a pair of fire trails in his wake, and Sandy stood in between them and yelled "IT WORKS! I'VE FINALLY FOUND A LINE COMBINATION THAT WORKS!!!!" Because really, I love the idea of those 3 together.
SECOND PERIOD
4:31 UMD 2 - CC 1 (PP)
Drew Akins (Rob Bordson, Scott Kishel)
The secondary unit strikes again! I like it!
An Akins goal? Well, that's gotta be a Kishel blast from the point, rebound to Bordo for another save, and then Akins jams the puck in while using one hand to punch two CC defenders and their goalie. The Akins Diet? It's tiger meat.
6:04 UMD 3 - CC 1
Mike Connolly (Jack Connolly)
CC players were too busy heeding one of the #1 rules in hockey: Keep Your Head Up, to notice our Lilliputian brothers-from-another-motherland skating unheeded to the net. Then they danced a jig and found a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
11:03 UMD 4 - CC 1 (PP)
Justin Fontaine (Jack Connolly, Mike Connolly)
FIRST OF ALL I hear this goal should belong to my Jacky. This upsets me as a fantasy hockey manager. The guy who has Fontaine is in the lead or in 2nd place or something. However, his strategery is flawed, and I do feel that Team Cougar is still gonna make the playoffs.
Anyway. I think what happened here is CC was like "Look, we're on the penalty kill, and the BI-MON-SCI-FI-CON line is out, why even try?", waved a white flag, and fled like the French. Mon Dieu!
THIRD PERIOD
0:44 UMD 4 - CC 2
Bill Sweatt (Mike Testwuide)
44 seconds into the period? The team was probably lined up, waiting for a whistle, so they didn't walk in front of the play.
2:25 UMD 5 - CC 2 (PP)
Justin Fontaine (Mike Connolly, Brady Lamb)
Um, duh. Obviously this happened.
I am certain this is accurate! Back in action tomorrow night!
Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 1! (I'm going to invite Kirby Puckett's kid to turn this from 1 to 0, TOMORROW!)
Points until we reach last season's total: 8! (We had a lot of ties.)
My Guys
Jack Connolly: 30! (Has now beaten his point total for all of last season. WOW!)
Brady Lamb: 11!
Mike Seidel: 8 (Not in the lineup??? What???)
Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 9
Mike Seidel: 8
Wade Bergman: 2
Keegan Flaherty: 2
Dan Delisle: 1
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Drew Olson: 1
Connollys
Jacky: 30!
Mikey: 23! (AWESOME GAME!!!!!)
Olsen/Olson
Drew: 1
Dylan: 9
Drews
Olson: 10
Akins: 24 (Had a little bit too much fun despite his "new" "safety" equipment)
On Notice
Dan Delisle
Keegan Flaherty
Dylan Olsen
Drew Olson
Goals Only
Jordan Fulton
Chad Huttel
Scott Kishel
Dylan Olsen
Mike Seidel
2 comments:
We are ALWAYS glad to see CC's suckitude in action.
Keep up the good work!
PS-Friday night class--WHAAAAT?
CC's game plan was to take the crowd out of the game. Plan foiled by lack of crowd. If Tyler Johnson's family had stayed home, the game might have been cancelled due to lack of interest.
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