I Never Dreamed You'd Leave In Summer

Ah yes, the players who promised to be they would be the life in autumn and there would be warm love in springtime is ever-growing. Back in, oh, April or so, I started my own little list. Thanks to Goon's post, I was reminded that I've been remiss. So, away we go.
FYI, players that were not on the list from April are denoted with a ***


David Backes, Minnesota State-Mankato
Backes was a great player on an okay team. I won't miss him on the ice because he was a scary opponent, but I wish him the best of luck.

Matt Carle, University of Denver
Matt Carle pretty much did all he could at the collegiate level: national championship, Hobey Baker, All-Hottie team. Don't get that pretty face messed up in the NHL, honey!

***Ryan Carter, Minnesota State-Mankato
Who? What? Sorry buddy, you're below my radar. Perhaps my Mavs counterparts can elaborate? (Sorry I got your name wrong at first, dude.)

Kris Chucko, Minnesota-Twin Cities
I will miss Chucko simply because his name rhymed with so many insults.

Robbie Earl, Wisconsin-Madison
My archnemesis? Gone? Nooooooooo! He's totally ruined my plans! Oh, the fun we would have had, the cruel things I would have said! He's foiled my plan to wear a wetsuit and carry the A (Alfa) flag. (Contrary to what some people had at the WCHA playoffs, the "Diver Down" flag is not red and white, it looks like this.) I didn't even get a chance to cure his pimples.

Danny Irmen, Minnesota-Twin Cities
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling, they're saying "Good luck getting a puck between us in the NHL." I don't like situations like this, when my enemy suddenly joins my side. Joe Mauer joining the Twins, Danny Irmen for the Wild. I just don't trust it. Maybe one day, love will build a bridge between Danny and me, but I don't know if it'll hold.

***Phil Kessel, Minnesota-Twin Cities
This departure comes to no surprise to us at RWD. Months ago, Ace Prognosticator DA reported that Kessel would be leaving, which I assume he learned from The Beard, his anonymous co-worker/source.

***Jordan Parise, University of North Dakota
Ouch! That one hurt. Jordy was a true inspiration to the Fighting Sioux, judging by their less-than-stellar play in front of Phillippe Lamoreaux (and why? I don't know why you wouldn't want to play well in front of the guy. His name translates from the French as "The Lover." That's wicked cool). The Second Coming of Parise may have done more for the team than Parise Vol. 1.

***Joe Pavelski, Wisconsin-Madison
All I have to say is, good thing Wisconsin doesn't rely on offense to win. Really, the MN Wild should just draft Badgers.

***Kyle Peto, Minnesota State-Mankato
Kyle Peto was DEFINITELY a hottie, winning First Team Honors 2 years ago (although somehow failing to make the list this past year... people, the head shot is sometimes all I have to go on! COMB YOUR HAIR! Use a good antibacterial toner! Smile for Mama!), and I'm sure there's a lot of broken hearts down in Southern MN.

Ryan Potulny, Minnesota-Twin Cities
The original member of The Hater Report. The inspiration for it, in fact. Oh Ryan, you were The Little Engine That In The End Just Couldn't Quite Make It. All those awards I listed above for Matt Carle, you were just shy of getting, too. You're the New Jan Brady!

***Brian Salcido, Colorado College
Well, this guy is clearly not the one we're talking about. But hello! 40 points is not easy to replace! However, CC always disappoints in the end, so I guess they could lose no one and still fall short. I had high hopes for them 2 seasons ago, but... SPLAT!

Matt Smaby, University of North DakotaI don't think any opposing players will miss the brain-rattling, bone-jarring, board-shaking hits Big Matt dished out. UND was lucky to get another year out of him, since he was so close to signing with them last year. Instead, they went with our own Rosie the Riveter.

Rastislav Spirko, University of North Dakota (added 5/5/06)
Someone, please hold me. I loved my little Sparky, and I'm going to miss him terribly. First, he goes and gets engaged to someone other than me, now he's forsaking me to go back to Europe and play for-profit hockey. Don't go, Spirko! Not without kissing me goodbye!

Drew Stafford, University of North Dakota (added 5/4/06)
Drew was a controversial player around here at Runnin' With the Dogs. He failed to make the All-Hottie List, and the readers were incensed! I thought Drew was great, he was the king of short-handed goals, he was in a rockin' band, and his arms made me all hot and bothered. The ladies love ya, Drew, and you'll be missed.

***Paul Stasny, University of Denver
Paul Stasny was tied for 4/5 in the points in the WCHA, sharing that honor with some nobody named Matt Carle. It will be interesting to see if some sort of Butler/Trotter/Mullen/Fast combo can even come close to the Carle/Stasny awesomeness.

Travis Zajac, University of North Dakota
Um... uhhh... I liked you? Good luck? Until we meet again? Sayonara? Hasta la vista, baby? I don't know, what do I say? If only we'd had more time together...