The AARP

It's time to say "So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good ni-ight" to our senior citizens. At a farewell Early Bird Special at Perkins this afternoon, the RWD staff bid a tearful adieu to the old codgers on the bench. Here's a recap of the event:

Player: Ryan Swanson
RWD Speech: "What can I say about Ryan Swanson? Well, nothing nice."
Parting Gift: Friend Of Bill t-shirt
Exit Music: "Na-na na na, Na-na na na, hey hey hey, go-od bye!"

Player: Justin Williams
RWD Speech: "I'm sorry I didn't vote you onto the All-WCHA Hottie Team, because you really came into your own as a hottie this year."
Parting Gift: RWD's phone number
Exit Music: Tom Jones, "Sex Bomb"

Player: Tim Stapleton
RWD Speech: "I've really enjoyed watching you score goals over the years, I just wish they weren't so often the only goals of the game. I guess you didn't enjoy it as much, because you didn't score as many as you should have."
Parting Gift: Gift certificate for a Mike Eruzione motivational speech
Exit Music: Roxette, "It Must Have Been Love"

Player: Isaac Reichmuth
RWD Speech: "You know, earlier in the year I flipped out at someone because he said you weren't a good goaltender. Now I look stupid. That's not nice. You forgot some WCHA players can actually lift the puck OVER your flopping body."
Parting Gift: Clothespins and a clothesline (from your defense)
Exit Music: Kool and the Gang, "Get Down On It"

Player: Steve Czech
RWD Speech: "I know that you and I have had our differences, but it's not my fault that I like good defensive play and you like to take lazy stick penalties."
Parting Gift: A rubber donut to sit on (all that time riding the penalty box pine has taken its toll)
Exit Music: Johnny Cash, "Folsom Prison Blues"

It's a shame that I didn't do this last year, but please know, Evan Schwabe's exit music would be "Soul and Inspiration," and for a gift, I would have thrown myself at him.