20 December 2009

The Post Before Christmas

I probably won't get around to writing another post before the vaunted Christmas Post, partially because I am lazy and partially because I am putting a crapload of work into this year's post. (One word: SCREENCAP.) For those of you who aren't aware, each year RWD has an extra special, custom-made Bulldog Christmas post.

Let's review:

In 2006, I did
How the Grinch Stole Christmas

It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his skates were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his jock was two sizes too small.

In 2007, I rewrote the saucy Christmas carol Santa Baby
Santa baby, a game-worn jersey under the tree, Curry's
Been an awful good girl
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Hah! Screw you Santa. I had to get that for myself!

And then in 2008, the masterpiece:
Jacky's Christmas Story

At practice, I struggled for just the right hockey stick hint. "Sharpie said he saw some grizzly bears near Grandma's Sports Garden!" Sandelin looked at me like I had walleye coming out of my ears. I quickly changed directions. "Coach, I bet you can't guess what I got you for Christmas?" Coach Rohlik asked me, "Jacky, what do you want for Christmas?" I don't know what came over me, or why I blurted it out despite all my subtle scheming, but I loudly proclaimed, "I want a Red Ryder one piece 200-shot Iron Range model hockey stick with multi-rib blade construction and a Kevlar-wrapped shaft." Coach Sandelin looked at me and shook his head. "You'll shoot your eye out!"

That last one is going to be a tough one to top. I'm not giving anything away about this year's Christmas post, but I will tell you that it is dedicated to the daughter and niece of three RWD readers who I know are also huge fans of the Christmas posts. This woman is a Marine and is going to spend Christmas with her family before deploying to Afghanistan. I hope for her safe return and I know that any RWD fans will do the same.

1 comment:

vizoroo said...

Don't forget Jacky looks like the boywho wanted the Red Ryder in a Christmas Story