Better Late Than Never

Or maybe not... Maybe you didn't even notice I was gone.

Anyway, hockey is over, at least for me. I don't really care about the Frozen Four, and I hardly even cared about the regionals. Unless tDogs are in the NCAA hunt, the Final Five is pretty much the end of the season.

And oh, the Final Five. It never fails to disappoint. I mean, tDogs weren't there, which was disappointing, but you can't fault the Final Five for that.

My memory is a little bit hazy, not because I had excessive amounts of booze (I didn't! I swear!), but because it was a long, long time ago. I've had a lot going on. A lot of laziness, I mean. And now I'm watching baseball and Boof just pissed me off by giving up a homerun. We need some runs, yo. I didn't even think of an April Fool's Day joke. Bruce thought he would be funny and texted me that Al had signed with SJS, but I was not fooled, because I didn't get the text until AFTER he had sent the "April Fool's!" one. So the joke was an utter failure. He did alert me to Davidson's resignation and I think he might have told me about Garrison although I also may have learned that from Rink and Bitch Run (no offense, Kevin, but all your commenters hate the Bulldogs... and me, apparently), I don't remember.

Actually, I lied. This year's Final Five was a MAJOR disappointment in one specific way: my lack of face time on the jumbotron. I mean, seriously. My girlfriend (The Hottest Girl in Alary's) and I were dancing during Dancemania and NEVER ONCE did they put us on... only major uggos and kids. GARBAGE! And then during breaks in play, I would look up at the jumbotron and see... oh, I don't know... LGM, WinTwins, DA, UMDDogz, MafiaMan, Dagies, Sioux-cia, FireHelmetGuy, Scotty, Julia... NOT ME. I was on once, when I was sitting in DA's seat, and I blew everyone kisses. I don't know what the deal was. I crave attention, and I was left unsatisfied.

I saw the same old faces and met some new ones, including:

Goon

Sioux7

Leah (Sioux Yeah Yeah)

PioAvsFan from Hockey In Colorado

Rabib and Mrs. Rabib

Not Donald, but a Faux-Donald who looked like him, wore a Seawolves hat, and danced during Dancemania. I knew it was an impostor because he was not wearing shorts and sandals, and he did not have a pitchfork.

Channing Boe (secretly)

Faux-Taylor Chorney

the new baby of FHG's favorite Sioux fan couple!

Conspicuously not around:

Catie from Hockey In Colorado

Badger Backer

Redwing77

Who's Whining Now?

Chris Dilks

others

Come on, people. I wasn't that hard to find, I posted where I was sitting! It's not like I called you and told you to meet me at the top of my section and then wasn't there when you got there... Not that I would EVER do that.

So, I know that it's totally lame of me, but I'm out of things to say. I KNOW what you are all waiting for: the All-Hottie Team, and it's forthcoming, I promise. But PEOPLE NEED TO MAKE THEIR FREAKING LISTS! The only person who has made their list is LGM. UNACCEPTABLE.

Most exciting news of the Final Five weekend:

tDogs' women's team wins the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!

Here's my wonderful family toasting to the success of our ladies with "the girliest drink" that Rob/The Rookie/GQ Aitkin could think of (since McGov's doesn't sell wine coolers, since this is not 1985):