Silent Spring

Huh, how about that? Nearly a month has gone by since our lives were made complete.

Let's wrap up a few things.

First, College Hockey Armageddon appears to have passed us by. Scary Princeton Coach is going to go to Nouveau Riche University instead of our coach, who somehow still does not have a contract. Dear Bob, get it done or I am not sending you ANY MONIES. Michigan Tech has a new coach, too. Some Michigan person. Clearly he's trading up by going to the WCHA.

RWD awards for the season:

My Guy of the year is Jack Connolly, for the second year in a row.

Freshman of the year is JT Brown, though Justin Faulk was breathing down his neck.

Jacky is also the Connolly Champion, though with Mike gone he will not be able to defend his title.

Drew Olson wins the penalty title over Dan DeLisle, which was uninteresting as neither took a boatload of penalties.

Seniors Trent Palm, Kyle Schmidt, Mike Montgomery, Chad Huttel and Justin Fontaine leave us. Thank you for your fierce and unwavering commitment to the program, for making it better than when you arrived, and for giving us your very best no matter what was asked of you. Palm played on one leg. Schmidt had hand surgery days before scoring the game winning goal against Michigan. Montgomery and Fontaine gave up pro opportunities to return to school. Huttel stuck with the program despite limited playing time.

Thanks to your families as well; all five of you have families who were vocal and visible in their support for you and for the program. I didn't go to a single road game without seeing at least one Palm, Schmidt, Montgomery, Huttel or Fontaine in the crowd. Sometimes even wearing a gorilla suit or a blonde wig, making candy for fellow fans, or buying beers for rowdy road-trippers.

I'm contemplating a site re-design but haven't seen anything I liked yet. Don't worry, it won't become busy or overloaded with ads or scripts that crash your browsers, it will still be as spartan as ever. At the very least I will be doing a new banner for the off-season.

Posting will be sporadic throughout the summer, as always. I might have some other stuff to say about the season, and of course there's the All-Hottie team, and I'm trying to get tickets to the draft. I'll tweet if I update and try to keep you informed of any exciting and fun news going on in the world of Bulldog hockey.

Thanks again for reading, for your comments and your emails and tweets. Thank you for the sense of community you all provide, as Bulldog fans or as hockey fans in general. In the seven seasons I've been writing this site, I've never once wanted to shut the site down; it is always fun and the connections I've made as a result of writing are priceless. What you folks say makes me laugh, makes me think and humbles me. Victories are sweeter and losses are easier to bear when we celebrate and suffer together.

A Dish Best Served Cold

tUMD 4, SCCC 2
tUMD 3, SCCC 2 (3OT)

On 11 March, 2007, freshman defenceman Trent Palm was on the bench when Andreas Nodl ended tUMD's season at 11:33 of the 3rd overtime. Senior Josh Johnson made 62 saves in his last game as a Bulldog. There wasn't a single Bulldog player, staffer or fan who wasn't absolutely devastated by that loss.

And last night, two freshmen defencemen for St. Cloud were in the locker room getting IVs to rehydrate, one after cramping up on ice and crawling off after being trapped out there while tUMD maintained possession of the puck. Mike Lee made 60 saves before Mike Connolly finally got the puck past him and ended SCSU's season. I doubt there were any Husky players, staffers or fans who were not absolutely devastated.

We know how you feel. Really, we do.

And now we know what it's like to feel the ecstatic relief of a triple-overtime win. Since the student section numbers were down, I decided I'd stand with them and make some noise. I was missing my nice, padded, comfy chair in 216 after awhile, but those nice long bleachers are perfect for lying on for a quick rest at intermission. Oh yes, there were five intermissions. Five. They had the Duluth East - Eden Prairie game on between periods, which caused me even more stress, and then when East lost I was terrified the Bulldogs were going to suffer the same letdown.

The Bulldog defence wasn't going to let that happen. Mike Connolly put the puck in the net, but the defence won the game. St. Cloud's only goals came from a power play and a scrum around the net. Drew Olson somehow stopped a breakaway, coming out of nowhere. Everyone was getting bodies on players, sticks in passing lanes, and pucks off stickblades. Kenny made a third fewer saves than Mike Lee (who was outstanding) thanks to the defence. And the forwards were in on it, too, laying hits or stepping back if a defender jumped up into the play. Mike Seidel was a human wrecking ball. And Kenny stood his ground, like Gandalf with the Balroc.

Northland News Center video that includes the game-winner, which I did not even see because it was so far away and I didn't have the presence of mind to look at the video board because I was mobbing Biddco and friends.


Northland News Center video of the postgame comments by Mike Montgomery and Mike Connolly.


I am so happy. After the Hermantown loss, the East loss, and the UMD women's loss, it just felt like nothing could go right. I was so nervous it was hard to participate in chants. We were hungry, thirsty, people were sobering up... I mean, we're talking real tragedies here. Anyway, I am so VERY glad I'm not getting in my car at this moment to drive back to the Cities from Duluth after a game right now, and thanks to THE ENTIRE BULLDOG TEAM, I didn't have to!

And I'm sure Palm is beyond thrilled to be on the right end of overtime this time around.

All-WCHA Ballot

It's that time of year again! The All-Conference ballots are being released. Might as well release mine.

First Team
F: Jack Connolly
F: Mike Connolly
F: Justin Fontaine
D: Justin Faulk
D: Mike Montgomery
G: Kenny Reiter

Second Team
F: Travis Oleksuk
F: JT Brown
F: Kyle Schmidt
D: Brady Lamb
D: Drew Olson
G: Aaron Crandall

Third Team
F: Mike Seidel
F: David Grun
F: Dan DeLisle
D: Wade Bergman
D: Trent Palm
G: Christian Gaffy

Rookies
F: JT Brown
F: Max Tardy
F: Joe Basaraba
D: Justin Faulk
D: Luke McManus
G: Christian Gaffy

Coach of the Year: Scott Sandelin
Player of the Year: Mike Connolly
Rookie of the Year: Justin Faulk

The Upside of Anger

tUMD 4*, Nobodies 5

Tonight MY GUY DREW OLSON GOT HIS FIRST BULLDOG GOAL!!!!!!!!!!

A Google search for "Drew Olson UMD" yielded

1. Hakstol flipping the bird.
2. the Ski Hut logo
3. This:






























Quelle coïncidence!

The Exorcist

tUMD 4, Tarnished Knights 1
tUMD 4, Tarnished Knights 2

So, we all knew that some strange and terrible force had taken over the Bulldogs somewhere between the closing of the DECC and the games at Mariucci. Perhaps AMSoil Arena was built on a Native American burial ground, or maybe it was the ghost of Christmas Past, or it could be some guys used a Ouija board to try to contact Pat Burns.

But yes, somehow and someway, the Bulldogs fell under a demonic possession.

And they exorcized their demons this weekend, at the expense of Mike Seidel, Drew Olson, and Joe Basaraba. Here is a re-enactment of what went on the past few nights. (Sorry, embedding was disabled.)

Superb job in both games, comrades. See you this weekend for the first win in AMSoil Arena!!

(No Numbers because I got a new computer and the Excel file is still on the old one.)

My Guys!

So we only have 8 days until hockey begins! Isn't that amazing?!

Actually, it's not. Everyone else gets to play some ancient Canadian senior league team. We do not. Annoying.

But I've gotta pick my guys! They need to be prepared for next week!

Back for more:
1. Jack Connolly
2. Mike Seidel
3. Brady Lamb

Everyone gets renewed! Yeah!

And we've got some new guys!
4. Drew Olson
5. JT Brown

I think I've decided to throw my "no freshmen" rule out the window. Obviously. Since I've picked a freshman Guy three years in a row.

All right, Guys, you've got your assignments, now go out and kick some butts!

Summer Camp

While most students are on vacation, some of our favourite Bulldogs are hard at work at NHL Prospect Camps.

**edit** Kevin Pates has posted some more folks on Rink and Run

Anaheim
Rob Bordson
MacGregor Sharp

Carolina
Justin Faulk

Chicago
Jack Connolly
Dan DeLisle
Dylan Olsen

Columbus
Drew Olson

Edmonton
Mike Connolly

Minnesota
Justin Fontaine

Montreal
Scott Kishel

Pittsburgh
Brady Lamb

St. Louis
Max Tardy

San Jose
Alex Stalock
(note: I am just assuming this)

Tampa Bay
Adam Krause

Vancouver
Evan Oberg

Washington
Caleb Herbert

Make us proud, boys!

The All-WCHA Hottie Teams

For reals this time.

Coach: Jamie Russell*****
Assistant Coach: Brett Larson*
Blogger: Ryan Lambert, The Two-Line Pass

1st team:
F Mike Seidel, UMD
F Ryan Peckskamp***, SCSU
F Chris VandeVelde***, UND
D Ben Youds*, MSUM
D Drew Olson, UMD
G Brett Bennett, UW

2nd team:
F Mitch Bruijsten, UAA
F Craig Smith, UW
F Justin Jokinen*, MSUM
D Kane Lafranchise**, UAA
D Matt Donovan, DU
G Lars Paulgaard*, DU

3rd Team:
F Drew Akins, UMD
F Darcy Zajac**, UND
F Malcolm Gwilliam**, MTU
D Jake Gardiner, UW
D William Wrenn, DU
G Aaron Crandall, UMD

Freshman Team:
F Mike Seidel, UMD
F Craig Smith, UW
F Mitch Bruijsten, UAA
D Drew Olson, UMD
D Matt Donovan, DU
G Aaron Crandall, UMD

* denotes two-time honoree
** denotes three-time honoree
*** denotes four-time honoree
***** denotes six-time honoree

Notes
I know I said last year that the All-Hottie First Team goalie was to be renamed in honor of Robby Nolan, but, um, it was an especially rough year for the goalies. I mean, we have our 2nd-team All-Hottie goalie with Kate Gosselin's old haircut.
MTU has already updated their roster so I don't have a pic for Malcolm.
UMD's website is stupid and doesn't have links to individual players. I have some creative results.
I probably could have put together an All-Albino team this year. Frickin' scary, people.

Seeing Spots

The new banner is pretty, no? I know it doesn't fit in with the colour scheme, but it's fun.

So, there are rampant rumours that a certain player who decommitted from a certain sister school is interested in coming to a certain Harvard of the Midwest. But really, where would this certain individual fit in? tUMD is stacked. With or without this certain player, we’re going to have good players sitting every weekend, which is both good and bad. I’ve been wondering how everyone is going to fit in. And hey, I haven’t posted in awhile, so let’s do this.

Ok, so let’s take the team at face value. Here’s what I’ve got (freshmen positions are based on Heisenberg’s site):

Centre
Jack Connolly (Jr)
Travis Oleksuk (Jr)
Danny DeLisle (So)
Chris Stafne (Fr)
Max Tardy (Fr)

Left Wing
Mike Connolly (Jr)
Kyle Schmidt (Sr)
Cody Danberg (Sr)
Jake Hendrickson (So)

Right Wing
Justin Fontaine (Sr)
David Grun (Jr)
Mike Seidel (So)
Keegan Flaherty (So)
Joe Basaraba (Fr)
J.T. Brown (Fr)

Left Defence
Dylan Olsen (So)
Scott Kishel (Jr)
Wade Bergman (So)
Drew Olson (So)
Trent Palm (rs-Sr)
Luke McManus (Fr)

Right Defence
Brady Lamb (Jr)
Mike Montgomery (Sr)
Chad Huttel (Sr)
Chase Ryan (rs-Sr)
Justin Faulk (Fr)

Goalie
Brady Hjelle (Jr)
Kenny Reiter (Jr)
Aaron Crandall (So)

Well, obviously this isn’t going to work. Too many right wings and too many left defencemen. Too many MCs, not enough mics. I’ve made some changes, and here’s what I’ve got.

Ok, first I’m gonna sneak Keegan Flaherty to centre. Jake Hendrickson could do the same but I’m going to give the nod to the Keeg based on his playing time last year, and based on some other things you’ll see later. Stafne is a lefty so I am going to sneak him over to LW.

Now our centres are Jack Connolly, Travis Oleksuk, Danny DeLisle, Keegan Flaherty and Max Tardy.

Note that I have MCON down as a LW even though he has played RW, but at LW he shall stay. Left wingers are Mike Connolly, Kyle Schmidt, Cody Danberg, Jake Hendrickson and Chris Stafne. Right wingers are Justin Fontaine, David Grun, Mike Seidel, Joe Basaraba and J.T. Brown.

At defence we can make the easy adjustment of removing Chase Ryan from the lineup. He has extra eligibility left, but he is getting a real degree in a real subject so let’s say that he is going to start a new career. Someone else has to scoot over to RD, unless Palm chooses not to/is not able to play. But, let’s just assume the best here. Anyway, I think maybe to make things easier I will just put Palm there. He’s also right-handed.

Left defencemen are Dylan Olsen, Scott Kishel, Wade Bergman, Drew Olson and Luke McManus. Right defencemen are Brady Lamb, Mike Montgomery, Chad Huttel, Trent Palm and Justin Faulk.

Goalies are still Brady Hjelle, Kenny Reiter and Aaron Crandall. Now we’re in business and can start crankin’ out the lines.

Top line: Mike Connolly – Jack Connolly – Justin Fontaine
No way is Sandy going to open the season any other way. I am sure there will be many different combinations throughout the year, but this is such an easy call. With no Overly Mature Canadian team to tune up with, gotta stick with what ya know.

Second line: Kyle Schmidt – Travis Oleksuk – Mike Seidel
Left wing and centre were easy picks, but I am really unsure about this one. I can see either J.T. Brown or Joe Basaraba on here, too at some point in the season. I really hate the idea of Seidel relegated to the 4^th line, but he could also pick up a spot on the 3^rd line without losing any grit there, and I could see him on the top line if Sandy gets the urge to juggle things. He’s my breakout pick.

Third line: Cody Danberg – Danny DeLisle – David Grun
People might be killed by this line. Literally, not figuratively.

Fourth line: Jake Hendrickson – Flaherty – J.T. Brown
J.T. has been explosive so far in the USHL, which as we know is not a guarantee of success, but that’s why I put him in over Basaraba. Flaherty and Hendo are in to start with because they’ve paid their dues, as (almost) all freshmen must. Of course, once the season gets into high gear, anything goes, and there are going to be a lot of guys duking it out for a spot in the lineup.

Bleacher line: Stafne – Tardy - Basaraba
Get those suits pressed.

Top defensive pairing: Dylan Olsen – Mike Montgomery
Obvious pairing is obvious.

Second pairing: Wade Bergman – Brady Lamb
Ah, who can forget Rat Boy? Dear, dear Rat Boy. (I am sorry, this is not nice. But somehow I thought this one time and can't get it out of my head. It's better than Smeagol, which is what Akins calls him.) Bergman was voted rookie of the year and I am totally in agreement. Lamb has his issues but defencemen mature more slowly. He should be solid this year.

Third pairing: Scott Kishel – Justin Faulk
Complete opposite of what I said about the forwards. Faulk is going to get a chance right away.

Fourth pairing: Drew Olson – Chad Huttel
It just pains me to put Drew here. I think he’s awesome and has really come into his own, but I think Scotty’s been placed ahead of him by the coaching staff. If Sandy refuses to sit seniors, then Faulk will be here instead of Huttel, but Faulk’s offensive upside blows away Huttel’s, um, temper.

Fifth pairing: Luke McManus – Trent Palm
It all depends on Palm’s health and his plans. However, I think he’ll be eased back into the lineup if he does return, so I’m putting him here. And Luke, I am sorry, but you are the low man on the indigenous wooden sculpture.

Starting goalie: Kenny Reiter
Kenny Reiter? Yes he can! His overall performance last year (North Dakota game notwithstanding) gives him the first game of the year.

Backup: Brady Hjelle
When Hjelle’s hot, he’s hot, and if he can find consistency, he’ll be back in there again.

Backup’s Backup: Aaron Crandall
He didn’t see a second of ice time this past year, so I don’t see him climbing the ranks. I hope we at least see him in the exhibition game against the teenagers in January.

So, really, this is a full lineup and then some. I don’t see any way to fit another guy into the lineup, let alone give him any scholarship money.

Tougher In Alaska, Too

It's our final road trip of the season, and it's going to be a tough one. tUMD generally doesn't fare very well against UAA in general, and certainly not in Anchorage. We saw what happened last time, despite Drew Akins's best attempts to prepare.

This time, Drew brought a friend.

Here are the Drews after they landed their chartered helicopter. Halfway through the rotors went out and they had to fly it themselves. Boy are their arms tired.

Drew takes a moment to drink in the natural beauty of Alaska, the Last Frontier, before he gets down to biznass.

Drew unloads all the gear himself. Except for the Vermont tournament.
Sandy made him take a weekend off and made someone else do it, and they screwed up.

Drew saves lives. Here he is after saving four adults, quintuplets,
a Great Dane, a hairless cat, and a player piano from a burning house.

The Drews took part of their workouts from Spiderman comics: web-slinging, hanging upside down,
and climbing tall things. Note that I am totally kicking their badonkadonks.

See, here's Drew with some of the web-slinging equipment.

Akins taught Olson his tips and tricks for success in the Duluth Rodeo, which,
as we learned in the first Tougher in Alaska post, is roping boats offshore and hauling them into port.
Akins is demonstrating his technique for securing his quarry.

Drew saw this stupid UAF intro video and was like "Eff that noise, I can destroy Anchorage myself."
He commandeered some heavy machinery...

And now he's ready to ravage UAA!

"Remember kids, don't try this at home! I'm a professional!"

Ok, Bulldogs, let's follow the Golden Rule and do unto the Seawolves as they did unto us lastyear.

A Brady Hjelle Christmas

Brady Hjelle: I think there must be something wrong with me, Jacky. Christmas is coming but I’m not happy, I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel. I just don’t understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents, and sending cards and decorating trees and all that, but I’m still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.

Jacky: Brady Hjelle, you’re the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem. Maybe RWD is right: of all the Brady Hjelles in the world, you’re the Brady Hjelliest.
















Brady Hjelle: Drew, you’re the only person I know who can raise a cloud of dust in a snowstorm.
















RWD: May I help you?

BRADY HJELLE: I am in sad shape.

RWD: Wait a minute, before you begin, I must ask that you pay in advance. Five cents, please. Boy what a sound! How I love hearing that old money clank! That beautiful sound of cold hard cash! That beautiful, beautiful sound: nickels, nickels, nickels! That beautiful sound of clinking nickels! All right now, what seems to be your trouble?

BRADY HJELLE: I feel depressed. I know I should be happy, but I’m not.

RWD: Well, as they say on TV, the mere fact that you realize you need help indicates that you are not too far gone. I think we better pinpoint your fears. If we can find out what you’re afraid of, we can label it. Are you afraid of referees? If you are, then you have officialphobia.

BRADY HJELLE: I don’t think that’s quite it.

RWD: How about pucks? If you are afraid of pucks, you have rubberdiskophobia.

BRADY HJELLE: Well, sort of, but I’m not sure.

RWD: Are you afraid of odd man rushes? If you are, then you have twoononeophobia. Maybe you have Mankatomavsophobia. This is fear of getting run over by opponents. Or, quintigoalophobia, which is the fear of opponents going five-hole. Or maybe you have Lordstanleysgameophobia. Do you think you have Lordstanleysgameophobia?

BRADY HJELLE: What’s Lordstanleysgameophobia?

RWD: The fear of hockey!

BRADY HJELLE: THAT’S IT! Actually, RWD, my trouble is Christmas. I just don’t understand it. I feel sort of let down.

RWD: You need involvement. You need to be involved in some real Christmas project. How would you like to be the coach of our Christmas game?

BRADY HJELLE: Me? You want me to be the coach of the Christmas game?

RWD: Sure Brady Hjelle! We need a coach. You need involvement. We’ve got referees, entertainment, bananas, everyone you need. We even have a Christmas queen.

BRADY HJELLE: I don’t know anything about coaching a Christmas game.

RWD: Don’t worry; I’ll be there to help you. I’ll meet you at the auditorium. Incidentally, I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want, I always get a lot of stupid toys or clothes or a bicycle or something like that.

BRADY HJELLE: What is it you want?

RWD: A national championship.
















RWD: All right, quiet everybody. Our coach will be here any minute and we’ll start practice.

Wade Bergman: Coach? What coach?

RWD: Brady Hjelle.

Drew Olson: Oh no, no, we’re doomed.

Wade Bergman: This will be the worst Christmas game ever.

RWD: Here he comes! Attention everyone. Here’s our director.
















BRADY HJELLE: Well, it’s real good seeing you all here. As you know we are going to play in the Christmas game. Due to the shortage of time, we’ll get right down to work. One of the first things to ensure a good performance is strict attention to the coach. I’ll keep my directions simple. If I point to the right, it means the right wing carries the puck. If I make a slashing motion across my throat, it means I think the ref has made a bad call. If I make a revolving motion with my hand, it means skate faster. If I spread my hands apart, it means make a long pass. It’s the spirit of the player that counts, the attention that they show their coach. Am I right? I said am I right?
















BRADY HJELLE: Stop the music! All right now, we’re going to do this game, and we’re going to do it right. RWD, get those jerseys and playbooks and pass them out. Now the equipment girl will be handing out your gear.
















RWD: You’re a forward.

MCON: Do forwards have naturally curly hair?

RWD: Drew Akins, you’re the goalie.
















Akins: In spite of my outward appearance, I will try to keep the crease clean.

RWD: Schmitty, you’re Derek Shepherd.
















Kyle Schmidt: Every Christmas it’s the same. I always end up being Derek Shepherd.
















RWD: Jacky! You have to get rid of that stupid blanket! And here, memorize these plays.

Jacky: I can’t memorize these plays. This is ridiculous.

RWD: Memorize them and be ready to play when I tell you to.

Jacky: I can’t memorize this so quickly. Why should I be put through such agony? Give me one good reason why I should memorize this.

RWD (showing her fist): I’ll give you 5 good reasons. 1.2.3.4.5.

Jacky: Those are good reasons. Christmas is not only getting too commercial, it’s getting too dangerous.

RWD: And get rid of that stupid blanket. What’s a center gonna look like with a stupid blanket like that?

Jacky: Well, this is one center that’s gonna keep his trusty blanket with him. You wouldn’t hit an innocent center, would you?

RWD: Okay, Mr. Coach, the cast is set. Take over.

BRADY HJELLE: All right, let’s have quiet, places everybody. Seidel, set the mood for the first period.
















BRADY HJELLE: Cut cut! No no no! Look, let’s rehearse the power play. Mikey--
















MCON: I can’t go on the ice, there’s too much dust. It’s taking the curl out of my naturally curly hair.

BRADY HJELLE: Don’t think of it as dust. Think of it as maybe the soil of some great past civilization. Maybe the soil of the ancient Duluth Curling Club arena. It staggers the imagination. He may be carrying the soil that was tread upon by Bill Watson. Or even Huffer Christiansen.

Akins: Sorta makes you wanna treat me with more respect, doesn’t it?

MCON: You’re an absolute mess. Just look at yourself.

Akins: On the contrary, I didn’t think I looked that good.

RWD: What about my part? What about the Christmas queen, hmm? Are you going to let all this beauty go to waste? You do think I’m beautiful, don’t you Brady Hjelle? You didn’t answer me right away. You had to think about it first, didn’t you? If you really had thought I was beautiful, you would have spoken right up. I know when I’ve been insulted! I know when I’ve been insulted!

BRADY HJELLE: Good grief. All right, let’s take it from the top again. Places. Puck drop.
















RWD: Brady Hjelle, isn’t it a great game?

BRADY HJELLE: That does it. Now look, if we’re ever to get this game off the ground, we’ve gotta have some cooperation.

RWD: What’s matter, Brady Hjelle? Don’t you think it’s great?

BRADY HJELLE: It’s all wrong.

RWD: Look Brady, let’s face it, we all know that Christmas hockey is a big commercial racket. There’s a big eastern bias, you know.

BRADY HJELLE: Well, this is one game that won’t be commercial.

RWD: Look, Brady Hjelle, what do you want?

BRADY HJELLE: We need a Christmas tree.

RWD: Hey, perhaps a tree. A great big shiny aluminum Christmas tree. That’s it, Brady Hjelle! You get the tree. I’ll handle this crowd.

BRADY HJELLE: Ok. I’ll take Jacky with me. The rest of you practice your line changes.

RWD: Get the biggest aluminum tree you can find. Maybe paint it pink!

Wade Bergman: Yeah, do something right for a change, Brady Hjelle.

BRADY HJELLE: I don’t know Jacky, I just don’t know. Well, I guess we better concentrate on finding a nice Christmas tree.

Jacky: I suggest we try those searchlights, Brady Hjelle.

Jacky: This really brings Christmas close to a person.

BRADY HJELLE: Fantastic.

Jacky: Gee, do they still make wooden Christmas trees?
















BRADY HJELLE: This little green one here seems to need a home.

Jacky: I don’t know, Brady Hjelle. Remember what RWD said? This doesn’t seem to fit the modern spirit.

BRADY HJELLE: I don’t care. I’ll decorate it, and it’ll be just right for our game. Besides I think it needs me.
















Mike Seidel: This is the music I’ve selected for the Christmas game.

RWD: What kind of hockey music is that?

Mike Seidel: Beethoven hockey music.

RWD: What has Beethoven music got to do with hockey? Everybody talks about how great Beethoven is. Beethoven wasn’t so great.

Mike Seidel: What do you mean, Beethoven wasn’t so great?

RWD: He never got his name on the Stanley Cup, did he? Have you ever seen his name on the Stanley Cup, hmm? How can you say a person is great who’s never had his name on the Stanley Cup?

Mike Seidel: Good grief.

Brady and Jacky come back with the little tree.

BRADY HJELLE: We’re back.

Drew Olson: Boy are you stupid Brady Hjelle!

Wade Bergman: What kind of a tree is that?

RWD: You were supposed to get a good tree! Can’t you even tell a good tree from a poor tree?

Drew Olson: I told you he’d goof it up. He’s not the kind you can depend on for anything.

Wade Bergman: You’re hopeless, Brady Hjelle.

MCON: Completely hopeless.

BRADY HJELLE: Rats.

RWD: You’ve been dumb before Brady Hjelle, but this time you really did it. What a treat.

BRADY HJELLE: I guess you were right, Jacky. I shouldn’t have picked this little tree. Everything I do turns into a disaster. I guess I really don’t know what hockey is all about. Isn’t there anyone who knows what hockey is all about?
















Jacky: Sure, Brady Hjelle, I can tell you what hockey is all about. Lights, please. And there were in the same country coaches, keeping watch, abiding over their teams by weekends, and lo the angel of the NCAA came upon them, and the glory of the tournament shone round about them, and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, fear not, for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is given this day in the city of Detroit a tournament, which is the Frozen Four. And this shall be a sign unto you, you shall find the teams with the best pairwise rankings meeting in the regionals. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of fans praising the hockey gods and saying glory to hockey in the winter and on earth peace and goodwill toward men. That’s what hockey is all about Brady Hjelle.
















Jacky's voice: For behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is given this day in the city of Detroit a tournament, which is the Frozen Four. And this shall be a sign unto you...

BRADY HJELLE: Jacky is right. I won’t let all this commercialism ruin my Christmas. I’ll take this little tree home and decorate it, and I’ll show em it really will work at our game. I’ve killed it. OH! Everything I touch gets ruined.
















JACKY: I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It’s not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love.

RWD: Brady Hjelle is a blockhead, but he did get a nice tree.
















Loo loo loo, loo loo-loo loo-loo, loo loo loo loo-loo loo loo.

BRADY HJELLE: What’s going on here?

Everyone: Merry Christmas Brady Hjelle!

It Was a Good Day

tUMD 2, Lucky Sons-of-you-know-whats 6

Yo. We have to keep it real up in this piece. Check ourselves prior to wrecking ourselves.

I'm feeling like ripping off a rapper tonight. Let's do this. The video has naughty words. Just sayin'.

Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
Big win from the 'Dogs, no smog
Got a lotta folks surfin' to my blog
I got my work on, but didn't stay long
Finally game time for the Bulldogs, gotta play strong
Hooked my plasma TV up to the B2
Got the home team call radio feed too
Game time is soon, countin' down to the clock stop
The centermen get set, time to take the puck drop
Huttel in the box for a trip
Didn't have to touch the guy, made himself flip
And everything is alright
Campion and Beaurline have got our backs all night
CC gets on the board from Mike Testwuide
Then in the box again, try to make 'em bleed
Get out the first only down by one
But we won on Friday, this is just for fun
Don't matter how we play on Saturday
Still in the game, today was a good day

In the second got a goal by Schmidt
Didn't even need the refs to go review it
Fans boo because the goal judge turned on the light
But CC high sticked and the Dogs gotta fight
Call's even, Hjelle gets roughing but of course he's not leavin'
Time to play Don't Stop Believin'
Give up a couple more goals, they got us runnin 'round
Knock em down on the ground
Shake em up, shake em up, shake em up, shake em
Pair off with a couple of Tigers and watch us break em
Get the face, face-washin', face-maskin'
Penalties even and we play the game awhile five on five
Because no more Tigers had to take a dive
Prosser froze the puck in the crease, but they let us play
Today was a good day

Third period starts up
Power play got nothin' so we don't miss the puck luck
Ref has his say, Lowery hits Akins on a breakaway
But he might not have scored anyway
So he puts both Drews in the box
CC gets a lucky shot, Dylan Olsen walks
Another penalty, penalty, penalty
Just after one gets free
Mike Seidel gets a goal
but we're running out of time to dig outta this hole.
Huttel goes crazy to get a spark
Probably gonna leave a mark, kicked him outta the park
But he's not banned for the next game
And the other guy got two minutes of blame
Refs ask Olsen and Akins to leave
Though it's for the best, we're our own worst enemies.
Campion gives us a few tweets
Power plays even up on the stats sheet
End the game with a hooking call on Deboer,
Thanks guys, but I don't think we need it anymore.
We never got started it's too late now,
We're gonna need those favors another day, anyhow.
Didn't even need the refs' help to throw the game away.
I got to say it was a good day.

Numbers tomorrow. Or something. Word to your mother.

Justin Fontaine To Change Last Name

from the Associated Press Wire:

In a move that surprised some and others felt was overdue, Minnesota-Duluth winger Justin Fontaine has decided to change his name to Justin Connolly. Coach Scott Sandelin recently chose to add Mike Connolly to the productive tandem of Fontaine and Jack Connolly, in order to maximize UMD's offensive firepower. Fontaine's name change will be the final piece in creating the most dominant line in all of college hockey: the Connolly line.

Fontaine, 21, of Bonnyville, AB, felt in order to gel completely with his linemates, he needed to annex the last name. "I want to do whatever I can to improve my game and help my team. I can't shrink myself 3 inches or grow a curly fro, but I'm willing to make the change if it means more wins. It's the least I can do," Fontaine said in an interview Wednesday.

Fontaine will be adopted by Mark and Judy Connolly of Duluth, parents of Jack Connolly, as well as Boston University forward Chris Connolly. "We are so excited to have Justin as part of our family," Mrs. Connolly told reporters. "We've been looking to add a right wing to our family for some time now, and Justin is the perfect fit." Mr. Connolly was not reachable for comment, as he was busy rocking out with his band.

When asked if they minded giving their son up for adoption, current parents Denis Fontaine and Donna Dale, reached by phone, seemed to take it as "business as usual." "It's just another part of the game, part of being a hockey parent," Mr. Fontaine stated. "Anything to make his game better," added Ms. Dale, "but I hope they remember he likes the crusts cut off his sandwiches."

UMD fans hope to hear beloved public address announcers Howie Leathers proclaiming "Connolly from Connolly and Connolly," a lot this season. Radio play-by-play man Bruce Ciskie didn't seem too happy about the change. "It's confusing enough as it is," he said via phone. When informed the line would be backed up by defensive tandem Dylan Olsen and Drew Olson, Mr. Ciskie screamed and a series of dull thuds could be heard, ostensibly Mr. Ciskie beating himself with the telephone.

No word on when the adoption process would be finalized, or whether Fontaine would also adopt #32 to match with Jack Connolly's #12 and Mike Connolly's #22.

NUM3ER5

The advent of The Numbers was first of all to track who had been sucking lately. If people sucked enough, they got On Notice. And it was also to track how My Guys were doing. But the best thing about the recurring feature is on those days when I'm too tired/drunk/paralyzed with rage to post, there's something to put up.

This year I'm going to expand upon the Numbers, as well as have a box in the sidebar for them. Maybe.

Here's what's the same:
1. Wins/points until we surpass last season's total
2. My Guys competition
3. Freshman competition
4. On Notice

Here's what's new:
1. Connolly vs. Connolly, points-wise
2. Olsen vs. Olson, points wise
3. Drew vs. Drew, penalty minutes-wise

Some of these might be a little unfair (please, Drew has made an office out of the penalty box. He sharpens pencils for the scorekeeper and has an I Heart My Yorkie coffee mug and a framed photo of MEg in there.) but it's kind of fun that there are so many repeated names. I can pretty much assume the next recruit UMD signs is also going to be named Brady Hjelle. But he'll be a centre.

Straw Poll

The season! It's going to start so soon! People might actually read RWD again! Or, at all!

In honor of Tracy, my favorite Iowegian reader, here's a few preseason straw polls for you!

Dos and Don'ts

Roster pix are up!!

It's like getting the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is for men. Kind of. Not really.

I'm sorry, but UMD's site doesn't let me link to the pix, which is very unfortunate.

DO: look much more grown up than last year. (Brady Hjelle)

DON'T: get rid of your awesome facial hair! (Brady Lamb)

DO: wear stylin' pinstripes. (a lot of guys)

DON'T: have a crooked tie/shirt collar. (Jordan Fulton and Brady Hjelle)

DO: wear a pink tie and a big smile! (David Grun)

DON'T: wear exactly the same thing as Rob Bordson. (Jake Hendrickson)

DO: get a haircut so that I can't graft your hair onto anyone else's head. (Mike Connolly)

DON'T: refuse to cut your hair even when the team has awesome mohawks. (Mike Montgomery)

DO: make your hair at least slightly less peroxide-brassy. (Rob Bordson)

DON'T: have frosted tips. You are not Ryan Seacrest. (Justin Fontaine)

DO: use an appropriate amount of hair gel. (Drew Olson)

DON'T: let your mom cut your bangs over the kitchen sink!!! (Jack Connolly)

DO: get a nice hunky summer tan. (Chad Huttel and Scott Kishel)

DON'T: use tanning oil to slick your hair straight back. (Dylan Olsen)

DO: smile and show your cutie dimples. (Kyle Schmidt)

DON'T: look so sad! (Dan Delisle)

DO: be a majorly hot hottie. (Mike Seidel)

And In This Corner...

Warning: not safe for losers who don't like fighting in hockey.

Why hello there, Drew Olson.

I love you already.

(Thanks to Richie for posting this on tPB!)

What Dreams May Come

Hola amigos, I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but hey, hockey's over. Well, now it's officially over as the Penguins have won the Stanley Cup, about which I did not really care. I watched the BU championship and then didn't watch any hockey until I kind of watched Game Seven.

First of all, this has nothing to do with the post forthcoming, but holy crap, I am a genius. I forgot that I had written this in February:

In three weeks, when the dust has settled, I don't want to be picking through the wreckage of a season that could have been, eating crow for writing posts like this. Please, please, please, throw your girl a bone here (triple entendre, anyone?) and give me, along with the city of Duluth and the worldwide Bulldog nation, something positive to take away from this season other than "It's equal to or slightly better than last year." I know you guys have it in you; seniors, you know what it was like to be on a team heading nowhere at an all-out run and then turn it into a playoff upset and a Final Five appearance. This year's team is going somewhere at a trot or possibly a canter, and I would like to see something fun. A couple of wins at the X. A couple of wins at Mariucci in February... and then a couple more in March. I don't know. Get creative. Okay? Thanks.

Wow, damn, do I love these guys even more. Begging works! Unless you're trying to get someone to take you back.

Let's talk about the impending season of doom. I think about Bulldog hockey probably more often than is healthy in the off-season (partially because my co-workers discovered RWD and enjoy making fun of my zealotry) and the other night I was dreaming about it. Specifically about Brady Hjelle. Don't worry, sweetie, you were clothed. Anyway, I was dreaming about a game and somehow Brady kept making these UNBELIEVABLE saves. That is really the extent of the dream that I remember, although I am fairly certain this is not a dream, but a premonition.

WHAT EXCITES ME
+Mikey Seidel bringing his unique brand of mischievous hockey to tUMD.
+RWD correspondents from all over attending games (ahem, Tracy and Dawn).
+SSPW, part III.
+This year's sophomore class.
+Another set of players who have the same last name (though different spellings), play the same position, and I hope will have similar numbers.
+PEANUT BUTTER HJELLE TIME.
+David Grun keeping #27 and getting his first collegiate goal on Oct 27th when I turn 27.
+Fonzie having a monster year.
+Playing at Tech for Winter Carnival!
+Road trippin'! Mankato, St. Cloud, Houghton, and of course Duluth.
+Rohlik didn't go to UNO.

WHAT SCARES ME
-Trying to make it through this season with 1. good grades 2. my job and 3. many games attended.
-Whether we'll have enough experience on the blue line.
-80s mall bangs (in general).
-The DU Pioneers.
-Not finishing in the top 5 in the WCHA (again) and not making the Final Five.
-Special teams.
-Drinking way too much on the Drunk Hockey Walk.
-Trying to pick who My Guys will be.
-Dan Delisle panning out as well as Mike Curry.

WHAT I WILL MISS
~Bruce on the airwaves. Although I do enjoy sitting with him and the fam at games, especially when he's in one of his moods.
~MacGregor Sharp. I practically hyperventilated the other day realizing he'd no longer be on the ice for the 'Dogs.
~The road trippin' dads. Two dads had kids graduate. But... maybe they'll still come on the road?
~Inebriated Mike. One of my favorite people with whom to attend a game. Now who am I going to clutch in panic when games get stressful?
~Being Christine's stats slut, though I know she's still going to come to games.
~The incredible senior leadership we were so fortunate to have.

Lastly, in case you rely solely on RWD for your UMD Bulldog Hockey news (which is inadvisable), here's the fresh meat for 2009-2010:

F Mike Seidel
F Dan Delisle
F Keegan Flaherty
F Jake Hendrickson
D Drew Olson
D Dylan Olsen
D Wade Bergman
G Aaron Crandall