The Game That Was

tUMD 3, Ugly Helmets 2

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Rudyard Kipling

Saturday started as a day like any other day. I fell asleep watching Miracle, as I had done before the Union game, the Yale game and the Notre Dame game. The sky was gray but it was warm out, and for a moment as I got out of bed it seemed no different from a normal weekend morning.

Then I remembered that tUMD was playing for a national championship in just a few hours and it was like being hit by a bus. The impact of the realization was so powerful it was almost physically jolting.

And so I did what any smart hockey fan would do: I laced up my skates and played hockey for two hours. Every year a cabal of USCHO posters organizes a hockey game at the Frozen Four. It's supposed to be just for fun, a good time and a way for people who hurl insults at each other in the anonymity of the internet to face up to their behaviours. (This is no problem for me because I am truly a horrible person.)

For me it was two blissful hours where I didn't have to quiver in fear at the implications of the upcoming game. Two hours where I was the one playing and attempting to make things happen on the ice. I mostly failed at making anything happen, but here is a picture of me looking awesome.

As you can tell, I (second from the left) am getting burned by Yager (far left) for the 700th time. But that's ok because in the rest of the pictures I'm standing around like a fatty. You can tell it's me because of the horrible bright yellow ponytail. Also something quite strange happened in the locker room afterward but you'll have to ask me about that on your own time.

It was fantastic to focus solely on the game at hand and just to step out on the ice and skate and have a good time. I left feeling a Zenlike equanimity I hadn't had since the season started.

Of course, once we were in the car heading to the Xcel, the PANIC! PANIC! PANIC! alarm was going off inside my head. It was like 7 fire alarms, 3 tornado sirens, the horrible monthly test of the emergency broadcasting system noise and an air raid siren ALL AT ONCE. Plus a panic attack, brain aneurysm, freefall from 10,000 feet and ADHD. Oh my.

We sat at McGovern's for awhile, everyone but me acting totally normal and watching golf. Why, I don't know, because who freaking cares? It's not even interesting. Eric Stromgren from the Bemidji Pioneer stopped by to say hello. Randomly he happens to be friends with this person who bought a bee jersey last year and was standing in line with me when we were buying them.

FINALLY I convinced everyone to go over to the UMD event at the River Center. We sat there for awhile until I couldn't stand it anymore and ditched the rest of my group to go to my seat (which is good because they didn't arrive until puck drop, and the also stole a UMD flag from somewhere) and I sat there alone until Dirty showed up.

When Michigan scored, it was like Thursday all over again, and I thought I was going to vomit. Rather than vomiting, Travis Oleksuk scored a goal. Michigan started taking all these penalties and then Max Tardy banged home his own rebound and made a believer out of me. Then something weird happened and My Jacky was lying on the ice and the puck was in the net behind Kenny and I thought "Oh my god we're not going to win" even though it was tied. My gal Britt came up during the intermission and helped me pass the time without having a nervous breakdown.

In the 3rd period Michigan was given a power play for... running into Brady Lamb (who had an assist on all three goals, FYI), I guess. I mean, really, whatever. Then JT Brown made an incredible play to bring the puck up the ice for a shorthanded scoring chance and Merrill had no choice but to haul him down and we were at fours. JT drew about 3 penalties and could have drawn a few more. It was so funny to watch him frustrate Michigan. Well, it's funny now that I can relax and breathe.

When the game went to overtime I wanted to... I don't even know. I felt like I was going to pass out. I walked around the arena and found Biddco and we just sort of panicked together. I talked to a Sioux fan friend of mine and I also saw the Maroon Loon blogger who claims that I said "Don't worry, we'll be celebrating soon," as he walked away from me. That's so unlike me. I'm more likely to say "Don't worry, we'll be committing mass suicide soon."

I walked back to my seat in a daze, and to be honest I probably should have stayed in my seat. I felt like I was going to faint. Then I heard the crowd start to roar just as I rounded one of the pillars in the corner and I went RUNNING for the nearest stairway just in time to see Mike Connolly with a great scoring chance.

The only reason I can tell you how the winning goal went is because I've seen it so many times in replay. All I know is the puck was in the net and my brother practically pile-drived (pile-drove?) me and I was screaming and crying and the Aaaahj was screaming "We're #1! We're #1!" and I fell over on to the seats and someone kicked my soda and it spilled everywhere and I called Schmidt's mom and screamed nonsensically into her voicemail and I don't even know.

I am amazed that for nothing more than the price of admission I could feel so amazing. But it's not the price of that ticket. It's years, and dozens of admissions, and hundreds of miles and thousands of words. All for something that, for someone who doesn't get it, seems so meaningless and insignificant. And if I think too hard about what it means to be a sports fan, it is completely ridiculous and I'm totally overly obsessive and I don't really care. If I cared what other people thought I wouldn't be writing RWD, ya know.

And really, what else in life can give a person the high highs without the low lows. I could never feel the way about a sports team that I do about, like, a death. But yet I was screaming "THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!" as we celebrated, high atop the upper deck, the ultimate victory after fifty years of almosts, could have beens and not a prayers.

I feel like in a way the window of opportunity for writing this post has probably gone. I should have written it Saturday night, if I was really dedicated, but I chose to go out and party like a puck star with my friends. We watched the game again at Tom Reid's and cheered the game all over again and sang the Beer Song and sang Don't Stop Believin' even though I'm still having a hard time believing that the Bulldogs are National Champions. I could have written it a dozen times this week but I had to get it just right and now I think the moment and the feeling have slipped through my fingers.

But it really happened, and no one can take that feeling away from us. To see the first national championship by my team? I don't think there are many Gopher fans, or Michigan fans, or UND fans who can say that. But when I'm 800 million years old (next year) I can tell all the young Bulldog fans in the student section what it was like to watch Kyle Schmidt do snow angels on the ice and see the players come flying off the bench and watch the fans, young and old, absolutely lose their minds as tUMD won the national championship, in overtime, in our home state.

Thanks for the memories.

The Gauntlet: Rube Edition

Yes, yes, finally, I'm done, whatever. Blah. Here's this week's gauntlet with Gopher Uber-Rube (that's an anagram!) Brenthoven.

RWD: So, I hear the Gophers are BACK!!!!!!!!! [This was Brent’s status after the Gophers swept UMass. They’re 3-6-3. Quite the, um, formidable opponent.]

Brent Hoven: They're lurking, waiting to pounce.

RWD: No, I heard they were BACK!!!!!! You said so yourself. [There’s no turning back! Once it’s on Facebook, it’s forever!]

BH: That night they were. They slaughtered their prey. Now they wait... possibly in a couple days' time they will pounce again.

RWD: Maybe if they're allowed to ride scooters. [Yeah Budish!]

BH: Only if they are on their way to a doctor's appt for mono. [Holla Bjugstad!]

RWD: They should stop kissing each other. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but they're spreading germs. [Really, guys, save it for the off-season.]

BH: We're just too in love with ourselves. We have no equal. [We?]

RWD: I think Sacred Heart might be your equal.

BH: Stop messing around. They don't even have a team. [They do, barely.]

RWD: Well, then, Holy Cross.

BH: Alms for the poor, that is what that was. Kind of fitting, given the school and all.

RWD: I'm sure that is how you felt. [The Gophers have been very charitable of late, then.]

BH: Actually, I felt nothing. I fell into a deep coma, and woke up the next season. It was rather serene.

RWD: Did you feel that way last Saturday night? [When the Gophers were swept by Mankato State!]

BH: Close. The infamous Mankato Meltdown scale was talked about, but it never really topped 3. [Is it on a scale of 0-3? Brent thinks people know about these things he makes up, but really only the voices in his head know.]

RWD: Did you go to the games? [Rhetorical question.]

BH: I choose to spend my money wisely. I choose to not rub elbows with the corpies. It's a terrible thing happening to Mariucci [we’re talking about Mankato, right?], and other schools are now also falling into that trap. tDECC will soon succumb with their snappy new arena, too. Just watch.

RWD: Oh, yeah, that Mankato Civic Center. So corporate. [I asked if he went to the games last weekend! Not any games ever! Although the answer is still no.]

BH: Mankato is another school where I'm surprised they still have a team. And you're saying tDogs are the same as Mankato? [This is like talking to Biddco. Or a brick wall.]

RWD: No. [Good gravy, he is not smart.] I'm saying I asked you if you went to the games, you started whining about corporate sell-outs, and I pointed out THE GAME WAS IN MANKATO.

BH: So? I seguewayed [A chill went down my spine at this horrible spelling error] a bit.

RWD: Segued.

BH: Fine, Little Miss Journalism.

RWD: That's Ms.

BH: Ok Gloria Steinem. [Is that supposed to be an insult? It’s not!]

RWD: I don't understand why you wouldn't want to attend hockey games. You could still go, with a bag over your head. [Sort of Charlie Brown-like. They’re both bald!]

BH: That would be showing shame. That is unacceptable. I'm not a Techie.

RWD: Brent, it's pride comes before a fall, not after.

BH: Pride is always there. It's how you view it, and display it. [Hm, yes, the Gophers displayed a lot of pride losing to… oh, everyone.]

RWD: Okay then. Does MNS also have pride in the Gophers?

BH: MNS needs to come out of the closet and admit he's a Gopher fan first. [Two separate events?]

RWD: Very true. Why someone would travel to Houghton to see the Gophers play when their alleged own team is clinching the MacNaughton is beyond comprehension.

BH: It is. I think he was after one of the legendary Tech 5s.

RWD: Tech 5s?

BH: The Scale of Hotness (for females) is adjusted for the MTU student body. For example, if a female from MN is rated a "3" here, she would rate a "5" at MTU. This is due to the lack of females at the school. [Oh. Another stupid scale that no one but Brent knows about.]

RWD: Okay. So it was even more of a delusional trip than I originally thought! [Like MNS could get a “Tech 5.” Or a “Tech 1.” Or even a “Tech –i”]

BH: It's the UP. It's like one big bad acid trip. [I would never describe it that way. This is an acid trip.]

RWD: I see. Well, enough about MNS. Geist is your best friend. Does that make you want to commit suicide?

BH: He makes me feel good about being me. Not only is he a lowly Sioux fan, but he's a loud obnoxious faux-violent [He is faux-violent! He's always talking about hammer-punching people but has never actually thrown a hammer-punch.] man. I'm an angel compared to him. [The Angel of Death, perhaps.]

RWD: Aha, I see. How Mean Girl of you.

BH: Interesting viewpoint on your part.

RWD: Why do you call yourself the Rube?

BH: It was a fitting name bestowed upon me by my friends. It just kind of caught on, like most other nicknames. So I ran with it. [This is a terrible, failing explanation.]

RWD: Why do you refer to yourself in the third person when you tag yourself in Facebook photos? [He always says things like "The Rube and friends." Well, he doesn't have any friends, that was just an example.]

BH: I thought we covered this. I'm a Gopher fan, and therefore arrogant.

RWD: Like Roman Augustovitz. [Chuck's pet peeve is Roman's habit of tweeting and referring to himself as "Eye." Maybe he just doesn't know how to spell "I."]

BH: Or Herschel Walker.

RWD: We're talking about hockey here. Are you going to the games this weekend? [Rhetorical question.]

BH: I am not. I can never make the Fri games on time, and on Sat I will be celebrating a friend's birthday (although I will be watching). [He has more excuses than Don Lucia.]

RWD: You can't make the Friday game? Is that because you are a forklift jockey?

BH: That would be correct. I refuse to be the jackbag who shows up in the middle of the second period to take my seat.

RWD: You wouldn't have a seat.

BH: If I had a ticket, I'd have a seat somewhere.

RWD: Forklift jockeys can only have standing room only.

BH: That's odd. I've never had SRO. I think someone could sell you a bridge in SF [Sioux Falls?] with your thinking. [They don't take checks, Brent.] Or a tUMD National Title.

RWD: Why would I buy one when we're mere months from coming by one honestly?

BH: Ah, the hope of youth. So eternal, so foolish.

RWD: Better than being old and a top candidate for the Bosley Hair Restoration System.

BH: Depends on who you ask.

RWD: No. It doesn't.

BH: Sure it does. If you're asking me, I'm proud of myself. If you ask someone else, that answer will differ. They probably wouldn't be proud of me. So it does indeed depend on who you ask.

RWD: Good lord. Is this an after school special?

BH: Only if we can get some gold stars.

RWD: Are you going to drink Kangas Kool-Aid or Patterson Punch this weekend?

BH: I think I'm gonna switch it up. KK one night, and PP on the other.

RWD: PP, huh? [Well, it is sterile. Like Brent, we can only hope.]

BH: The PP, yes. Something that both teams have trouble with. tUMD can't stop one from what I hear, [only late in games] and MN has been in a slump with theirs.

RWD: I wouldn't worry. We get shorthanded goals.

BH: And love OT.

RWD: We get it done in regulation, too.

BH: As seen by your record, sure.

RWD: You really cheer for some terrible teams. I mean, besides the Gophers, there's the Devils and the Bills. Do you have a mental illness?

BH: Well, the Devils are in a bad way right now, but it's hard to argue they haven't been successful in the last 15 years (3 titles). The Bills? They're just the Vikings with less mob mentality fans. [This is a reason to cheer for a team?]

RWD: Why would anyone choose to be a Bills fan? Are you also a fan of the LA Clippers?

BH: A. Grew up watching the great Jim Kelly strive and survive. Hard-working Irishman. And there were others there that I admired for their dedication and heart. B. Bouncyball is terrible. The team game is pretty much gone. When the Celtic's Big Three (+ One) retired, I was done with the sport.

RWD: I see. If you like players with dedication and heart, why would you watch Gopher hockey?

BH: They have heart. Sometimes you may not see it, but they have it. There are always a few bad apples on every team, sure, but you have to look at the big picture.

RWD: Oh, that's even better. Players that have heart but choose not to use it. Better make John Hill the head coach.

BH: Nice spin, Doc. Sometimes a fan sees the tree, and not the forest. [What are you, Mr. Miyagi? A tree? Well, I'd call Helgeson a traffic cone, but ok, we'll go with tree.] Sometimes a player who seems to not have heart, is just being bested by superior player. And fire Hill.

RWD: There will be much besting of the Gophers by superior players this weekend.

BH: I thought tUMD was in Duluth, and not that dirty town to the east?

RWD: Lowercase "s."

BH: Figured you typo'd. [Never!]

RWD: No. Who are your favorite players on this Gopher, um, "team?"

BH: I like Cepis a lot, even though he's been quiet lately. Obviously a big fan of Kangas Khan and St. Pat. I do have high hopes for Serratore, he's shown some sparks.

RWD: The name Cepis is so gross. It sounds like a disease.

BH: Then refer to him as Cap'n Chirp.

RWD: [This gets confusion because I read it as "they" not "then."] No they don't, it's Papa Chirp, which is so stupid. They should call him the Dive Captain. [Like a submarine. Because their ship is going down!]

BH: I didn't say they referred to him as Cap'n Chirp. I say you should refer to him as such. [Okay, Such.] And I have to admit he embellishes. He's no Robbie Earl though. [Because Robbie Earl at least had a future in professional hockey.] Not even close. He's not a big guy. Doesn't take much to knock him down. [Oh, he's a gigantic wimp.]

RWD: I thought it was a typo.

BH: No.

RWD: I see. I will refer to him as Sepsis. Or Septic Tank. Or Seepage.

BH: You can go right ahead. [I don't need your permission, Brent.]

RWD: Or also "That kid who just got flattened by Dan DeLisle/Dylan Olsen/Brady Lamb/Mike Connolly/his own teammates/me."

BH: Olsen only valid on what, Sat?

RWD: Friday.

BH: Ok, knew it was only one day.

RWD: Why would it be Saturday only? That makes no sense.

BH: I have no idea. Why is it only one night to begin with?

RWD: We aren't the Hostile and Abusives. He didn't throw a lawn mower or get a DUI. He is going to the Team Canada tryouts.

BH: Ah. I usually don't delve into the series at hand until Wed night at the very earliest. Usually it's Thu night. [Apparently Brent doesn't have the time to type out whole days.]

RWD: Well the WJCs are a big deal.

BH: Yep. It tires the Gophers out every year. That's a lot of games and travel added to the schedule.

RWD: Hm, funny. It only tires the Gophers out.

BH: It's darn tough to be this good. It wears one down.

RWD: No worries this year. You'll have, what, one guy gone? Haula?

BH: Sure? I don't worry about it too much. Nothing one can do about it, so I just sit back and see what happens.

RWD: No one else is good enough. [Bjugstad will not make it.]

BH: According to the stats, anyways.

RWD: According to the stats, the scouts, the coaches, the media, the public... Who are some of your all-time favorite Gophers?

BH: Tony Lucia was great. Not a stat guy, he wasn't that good, but he hustled every friggin' play. Never quit. I liked to watch Vanek play, he was a true skill guy, and for some reason, I liked DeMarchi. Hard-nosed guy.

RWD: Tony. Lucia. [I don't even know what to say.]

BH: I had my doubts, too, being Coach's boy and all. He worked. He worked hard.

RWD: He's probably a forklift driver now too.

BH: We could use people like him.

RWD: No one works hard at your work?

BH: There are some that don't. [Like Brent.] I'll leave it at that. [Yeah, you don't want word to get around that you're a slacker.] I would think it's pretty common no matter where you go.

RWD: I see. Or maybe just wherever you work.

BH: It's not Phillips neighborhood, that's for sure. [Blah. Never mind on that.]

RWD: Indeed. So, who's the hottest Gopher?

BH: Me. Oh, Gopher player? I don't have an opinion on that. You should ask a colleague of mine, known as Dancing Girl.

RWD: No. I'm asking you.

BH: Then I don't have an opinion. Although Cepis looks like Spicoli (I believe LaPanta noticed that one; it might have been Chorske).

RWD: Cepis looks like someone drove a forklift over his face.

BH: It wasn't me. I'm a great driver.

RWD: Yeah right. You're the "what not to do" guy in the safety videos.

BH: I wish I was. That looks like fun.

RWD: Anyway, who is the hottest Gopher? [Brick wall!]

BH: I have no opinion. You don't read too well, do you? Must be that tUMD edumacation.

RWD: I went to Illinois and Augsburg, genius.

BH: Well, it'd be nice to know that. And that's even worse. Augsburg is supposed to be a good school. For shame.

RWD: It's on Facebook, ass. Unlike you, I don't PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE. [Brent Hoven is not his real name!]

BH: I don't care enough to know every detail about you. And outside of work, everyone calls me by my "name." Even family.

RWD: Weird. Probably because your family likes to pretend you're not really related. [Ah yes, that makes sense.]

BH: Or they want to be part of something great. [What?]

RWD: Like tUMD's season this year. [Yes!]

BH: They'll fail. Like every other run. But I bet they get that Hobey again! Woohoo! [There isn't a Gopher player even sniffing a Hobey Baker and we've got three legit contenders.]

RWD: So who will be the Gopher coaches next year? Other than Hill as head coach.

BH: My miracle wish list would be one of the Serratores. [Well, you've already got one. Player-coach?] Blais is NOT going to be here, I don't care about the urban legends concerning the secret contract clause. I'd like to see MN go all out and get Blasi. [That's Enrico Blasi, aka Mr. Bean, not a typo.] If not, then Jeff Johnson [Possible forklift jockey?], but he's going nowhere. After that? There's some rumors I've come across, but nothing to take heed over as of right now.

RWD: Jeff Johnson?

BH: Jackson, sorry. Mistype. Trying to multi-task.

RWD: Well, since you're too good for this blog, why don't you wrap it up with a few thoughts. How will the Gophers win this weekend?

BH: I enjoy the candor in The Gauntlet. It's not stuffy. [This is Goonesque.] And the Gophers will win by scoring more goals than tUMD in the game, silly. However futile, good luck to tDogs, and Ski-U-Mah! Thanks for selecting me for your sacrificial lamb.

RWD: Blah, that's not the answer. I was looking for, you know, strategery.

BH: Uh, we'll give 110% [No], take what they give us [Yes], hit hard on the forecheck [No], block some shots when they become aggressive [No]. We can't let our goalie hang out to dry [You will]. They're a good team, and they'll bring everything they've got. We'll just have to take it a shift at a time, and leave it all on the ice [Translation: Gophers will pee themselves in fear.]

RWD: And how will they lose?

BH: By not doing those things I mentioned.

RWD: Did Maturi hire Jerry Kill as a coach or as a mascot?

BH: Hired him as a sideshow.It's MN Football. I don't care.

RWD: He looks a lot like Goldy.

BH: He looks like a child molester.

RWD: So does Goldy.

BH: That would be Bucky Beaver from BSU. A cross between Bucky Badger and Goldy. He's hideous.

RWD: I did see him when I was at their sad little rink in October.

BH: You saw the old one? Yeah, it's bad.

RWD: No, I meant the new one.

BH: Robbinsdale Cooper had a better arena! [The bagel throwers!] Oh, the new one. Better or worse than say, NMU or MTU? Or is it better than NCC (personal hatred aside)?

RWD: Never been to the Berry. [Bah! I'm letting him derail me!]

BH: Berry is a pole barn. With ice. No rise to the seats. Terrible.

RWD: This conversation is irrelevant. Give a score prediction and get this thing over with.

BH: Hm... 3-2 MN OT Fri. [Since he didn't say which campus, I'll assume he meant Duluth.] 5-3 MN Sat. [Again, assume he meant Duluth.] Wait, make that 5-4 MN Sat. [No.]

RWD: Enjoy seeing your dreams crushed. Got an F hockey text all worked out? [Inside joke. Lots of naughty words used.]

BH: I expect to be dancing on my coffee table. [Gross.] And the F Hockey texts just come naturally. You can't force them.

RWD: The Gophers will make sure of it.

Superior Showcase, We Hardly Knew Ye

tUMD 3, Mildcats 2

Well, folks, there we go. The Superior Showcase has come to an end. And Michigan Tech is the winner. Up is down! Black is white! St. Cloud lost to Clarkson! All of our goals were scored by defencemen!

MEg and Biddco came over for a little listening party. MEg listened to Michigan Tech's game through headphones while we broadcast tUMD game through the speakers of our desktop computer. The internets worked almost the entire time, for once! Domino's pizza is really tasty.

I'm pleased to see the first win of the season, and I hope I'm witnessing another one in FIVE DAYS. FIVE DAYS UNTIL I'M IN DULUTH, AGAIN, FINALLY, AT tDECC, IN MY SEATS, WATCHING A BULLDOG HOCKEY GAME. Yes.

I hope this time both the offense AND the defence are playing at full strength. And, our freshmen kick all kinds of ass.

Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 16 (x)
Points until we reach last season's total: 33 (x)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 2
JT Brown: 1!!!!!!!!!
Brady Lamb: 1!!!!!!!!!
Mike Seidel: 1
Drew Olson: 0

Freshmen
Justin Faulk: 2!!!!!!!
JT Brown: 1!!!!!!
others: bupkis

Connollys
Mikey: 3
Jacky: 2

Olsen/Olson
Dylan: 3!!!!
Drew: 0

Dan/Drew
Olson: 4
DeLisle: 0

On Notice/Goals Only
Nobody (only 2 more game to get your scoring on!)

My Guys!

So we only have 8 days until hockey begins! Isn't that amazing?!

Actually, it's not. Everyone else gets to play some ancient Canadian senior league team. We do not. Annoying.

But I've gotta pick my guys! They need to be prepared for next week!

Back for more:
1. Jack Connolly
2. Mike Seidel
3. Brady Lamb

Everyone gets renewed! Yeah!

And we've got some new guys!
4. Drew Olson
5. JT Brown

I think I've decided to throw my "no freshmen" rule out the window. Obviously. Since I've picked a freshman Guy three years in a row.

All right, Guys, you've got your assignments, now go out and kick some butts!

What's Your Fantasy?

It was a tough draft for Team Cougar. We picked 5th of 7, and my darling little Jacky slipped out of our grasp ONE PICK before we were going to take him. We also did not get shorthanded goal superstud Brett Olson, Brady Lamb, or Kenny Reiter. Depressing.

Thanks to Bruce Ciskie and Brad Schlossman for their suggestions. All of Bruce's selections were taken before I could get them, but I was able to take advantage of a few of Brad's.

Here is Team Cougar 2010-2011!
1. Scott Gudmanson, G, UW
2. Danny Kristo, F, UND
3. Jay Barribal, F, UMTC
4. Gabe Guentzel, D, CC
5. Alex Hudson, F, UNO
6. Jason Zucker, F, DU
7. Dylan Olsen, D, UMD
8. Mark Zengerle, F, UW
9. Jordan Baker, F, MTU
10. William Wrenn, D, DU
11. Deron Cousens, D, MTU
12. Derek Forbort, D, UND
13. Mike Seidel, F, UMD
14. Nick Bjugstad, F, UMTC
15. Wade Bergman, D, UMD
16. Luke Salazar, F, DU

Here are the other teams, in draft order. Names have been changed to protect Weldie.

Team #1
1. Brad Eidsness, G, UND
2. Brett Olson, F, MTU
3. Tony Mosey, F, SCSU
4. Brad Hunt, BSU
5. Kurt Davis, D, MSUM
6. Rich Purslow, F, UNO
7. Travis Oleksuk, F, UMD
8. Mike Montgomery, D, UMD
9. Tommy Grant, F, UAA
10. Jordy Murray, F, UW
11. John Lee, D, DU
12. Curtis Leinweber, D, UAA
13. William Rapuzzi, F, CC
14. Kyle Schmidt, F, UMD
15. Aaron Marvin, F, SCSU
16. Joe Faust, D, UW

Team #2
1. Alex Kangas, G, UMTC
2. Jason Gregoire, F, UND
3. Justin Schultz, D, UW
4. Jesse Martin, F, DU
5. Rylan Galiardi, F, MSUM
6. Zach Budish, F, UMTC
7. Brad Malone, F, UND
8. Joey Martin, F, UNO
9. Aaron Ness, D, UMTC
10. Mario Lamoureux, F, UND
11. Sean Wiles, F, UAA
12. Channing Boe, D, MSUM
13. Zach Lehrke, BSU
14. Doug Leaverton, D, CC
15. Patrick Johnson, F, UW
16. Joe Gleason, D, UND

Team #3
1. Kenny Reiter, G, UMD
2. Anthony Maiani, F, DU
3. Matt Read, F, BSU
4. Ben Youds, D, MSUM
5. Ryan Lowery, D, CC
6. Jacob Cepis, F, UMTC
7. Beau Bennett, F, DU
8. Eric Olimb, D, UNO
9. Stephen Schultz, F, CC
10. John Faulkner, G, UNO
11. Sam Zabkowicz, D, SCSU
12. Drew Shore, F, DU
13. Brock Nelson, F, UND
14. Luka Vidmar, D, UAA
15. Matt Ambroz, F, UNO
16. Taylor Dickinabox, F, UND

Team #4
1. Mike Lee, G, SCSU
2. Mike Connolly, F, UMD
3. Evan Trupp, F, UND
4. Craig Smith, F, UW
5. Drew LeBlanc, F, SCSU
6. Rylan Schwartz, F, CC
7. Jake Marto, D, UND
8. Kane Lafranchise, D, UAA
9. Jake Gardiner, D, UW
10. Ben Hanowski, F, SCSU
11. Tim Hall, F, CC
12. Mike Dorr, F, MSUM
13. Travis Novak, F, SCSU
14. Jamie MacQueen, BSU
15. Nico Sacchetti, F, UMTC
16. Dillon Simpson, D, UND

Team #6 (Remember, Cougs drafted 5th)
1. Joe Howe, G, CC
2. Jack Connolly, F, UMD
3. Jordan George, F, BSU
4. Tyler Johnson, F, CC
5. Cade Fairchild, D, UMTC
6. Ian Lowe, BSU
7. Jaden Schwartz, F, CC
8. Dan Bakala, G, BSU
9. Derrick Lapoint, D, UND
10. Jared Festler, F, SCSU
11. Ryan Cramer, BSU
12. Taylor Johnson, D, SCSU
13. Michael Young, F, UNO
14. Erik Haula, D, UMTC
15. Kevin Wehrs, D, UMTC
16. Mark Alt, D, UMTC

Team #7
1. Phil Cook, G, MSUM
2. Chay Genoway, D, UND
3. Mike Hoeffel, F, UMTC
4. Kyle Ostrow, F, DU
5. Ben Blood, D, UND
6. Shawn Ostrow, F, DU
7. Patrick White, F, UMTC
8. Oliver Lauridsen, D, SCSU
9. Justin Faulk, D, UMD
10. Mike Louwerse, F, MSUM
11. Derek Lee, F, UW
12. John Ramage, D, UW
13. Andrew Hamburg, F, CC
14. John Kemp, F, UNO
15. Brett Bennett, G, UW
16. Kyle Brodie, D, BSU

Team #8
1. Justin Fontaine, F, UMD
2. Garrett Roe, F, SCSU
3. Matt Donovan, D, DU
4. Brady Lamb, D, UMD
5. Brett Hextall, F, UND
6. Steven Seigo, D, MTU
7. Matt Frattin, F, UND
8. Dan Dunn, G, SCSU
9. Adam Murray, G, DU
10. Sam Brittain, G, DU
11. Terry Broadhurst, F, UNO
12. David Makowski, D, DU
13. Matt White, F, UNO
14. Tyler Barnes, F, UW
15. David Eddy, F, SCSU
16. Nate Schmidt, D, UMTC

Summer Camp

While most students are on vacation, some of our favourite Bulldogs are hard at work at NHL Prospect Camps.

**edit** Kevin Pates has posted some more folks on Rink and Run

Anaheim
Rob Bordson
MacGregor Sharp

Carolina
Justin Faulk

Chicago
Jack Connolly
Dan DeLisle
Dylan Olsen

Columbus
Drew Olson

Edmonton
Mike Connolly

Minnesota
Justin Fontaine

Montreal
Scott Kishel

Pittsburgh
Brady Lamb

St. Louis
Max Tardy

San Jose
Alex Stalock
(note: I am just assuming this)

Tampa Bay
Adam Krause

Vancouver
Evan Oberg

Washington
Caleb Herbert

Make us proud, boys!

Under Pressure

tUMD 4, Blue Earth County Penal League All-Stars 3 (OT)

Well, it's later than late and I've had a long day, but of course I was dumb and decided it would be good to allow my wild and spastic rantings to be broadcast over the airwaves (AND Interwebs!!) and thus should probably have something going on here before I go to bed.

So, for those of you who are here because of the whole radio thing, hello, how are you? I am pleased to meet you. Please be advised that the best of RWD is not found in the game recaps. Don't judge too harshly. Also, for those of you who are here wondering whether TJ Oshie has a girlfriend (and there are so many of you! Why?), I can not help you, I am truly sorry.

I... don't know. Really. Mankato plays a style of hockey that makes it very difficult for tUMD to play their style of hockey. So it was not really the best of times. It wasn't the worst of times, either, but... well, there's a lot to discuss.

The first period wasn't that fabulous. Mankato set the tone as usual. They seem confused about some of the rules of the game. Gentlemen: making contact to the head a "point of emphasis" does not mean the league wants you to do more of it. THEY WANT YOU TO STOP, YOU IDIOTS! Lots of things happened but by comparison the first period was boring. I have forgotten it mostly. BECAUSE THE GAME WAS ALMOST THREE HOURS. Zach Harrison took a checking from behind penalty in the final minute of the game and was ejected from the game. Because I am unkind, I stood up and waved. He hit my Jacky. That makes me hate him more. I did not see the hit as it was along the boards (duh) on the same side of the ice as I was. tUMD went into the locker room knowing they had 4 1/2 minutes of power play free-for-all smorgasbord bonanza.

The second period was much better! I do not understand how tUMD can be so fantastic in the 2nd period after being so terrible in the 2nd period during the first half. Brady Lamb scored 31 seconds into the period and we were back to even. I am stupid and did not start him in my fantasy league. That was the only goal on the power play. Then Rob Bordson scored to make it 2-1. Again, I am stupid because I did not start him in my fantasy league.

About 5 minutes after Bordo's goal, Kael Mouillierat (Mall Rat) viciously elbowed Scott Kishel in the head. Do not be fooled by Bruce Ciskie's commentary. This was not a clean or legal hit. It happened right in front of me. And I am a Great Hockey Mind. Scott was lying on the ice motionless for quite some time. It was scary. No, the referee did not signal a penalty right away. But really, if the league will allow this "intent to blow" b.s. they can certainly allow "intent to call." This was the first exceptionally long delay of the game as it took awhile to figure out what they were going to do, and then they explained it to Sandy, and then to Jutting, and anyone who has watched a Mankato hockey game knows that Jutting does not know when to STFU. He complained for so long that Kishel had time to recover and was back on the ice after missing only a few shifts. Mall Rat received a game disqualification for that hit, which means he will be suspended for a game. Justin Fontaine scored on the ensuing power play free-for-all smorgasbord bonanza, but again, they were only able to get one goal out of it.

A minute and a half after Fonzarelli's goal, some things occurred. I was sitting in probably the worst place in the entire rink for seeing these things, so I can't describe it. I saw some shoving and things, and then the refs came over, and suddenly someone shoved David Grun from behind and then we had ourselves a hoedown. SOMEHOW, and I really can't imagine how, and I have a very vivid imagination so that is saying something, tUMD ended up short two players. Also, somehow, and this is even more unfathomable, Drew Akins was involved in these things and was escorted to the penalty box (all the while motioning for the Maverick player to bring it on), and then was allowed to leave and did not receive a penalty. I am unsure why. That was fine. That was the only thing that was fine. Deciding to give Mankato this unwarranted and undeserved 5 on 3 took an annoyingly long time. For some reason Jutting decided he wanted to whine about that, too. There's no such thing as a 5 on 2, Jutting. Just shut up. I told him so. Mankato scored once on the power play while on the 2-player advantage.

The 3rd period began oddly as Jack Connolly ended up riding a Maverick. He did not stay on for 8 seconds and thus did not receive a golden belt buckle. The rest of the period was pretty disjointed. tUMD did not carry the play for any length of time. There were some bad line changes. (Ok, all game there were bad line changes.) And they let Mankato tie it up with 18 seconds to go. It was... preventable. We'll just say that. But OF COURSE the game would go to overtime. It wasn't long enough!

Overtime seemed like an extension of the 3rd period with its choppy play, and then MCON was all alone with the puck and put it just under the crossbar RIGHT in front of the tUMD fans and we FREAKED out. I was confused and at first thought it was Jacky, but WHO FREAKING CARES, THEY WON IN OVERTIME, OMFGBBQ!!!!!!!!!

God it's even later than later than late. Enough of this. Big day tomorrow. Skol Vikings!

Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: -2! (Eee!!)
Points until we reach last season's total: 2! (Look out Wisconsin, we're coming to collect!!!)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 35!
Brady Lamb: 14!
Mike Seidel: 8

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 10
Mike Seidel: 8
Wade Bergman: 2
Keegan Flaherty: 2
Dan Delisle: 1
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Drew Olson: 1

Connollys
Jacky: 35!
Mikey: 26!!!!

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 1
Dylan: 10

Drews
Olson: 10
Akins: 30

On Notice
Cody Danberg
Dan Delisle
Keegan Flaherty
Jordan Fulton
Chad Huttel
Drew Olson

Goals Only
Scott Kishel
Mike Montgomery
Travis Oleksuk
Mike Seidel

The Tipping Point

tUMD 6, Sad Pandas 0

This season is either going to take off or crash and burn. I don't know which. But what I do know is that a game against a somewhat insignificant opponent (no offense, Mercyhurst, but let's be honest) gave the Bulldogs an opportunity to put the little things together. Little things that separate the men from the boys, the wheat from the chaff, etc.

Kenny Reiter had a great game. He still wandered, but with a purpose. He'd had an even longer break than the rest of the guys, as Hjelle played both Denver games and Kenny's last game was against UND, which left a lot of us with that not-so-fresh feeling.

The penalty kill was 6 for 6, including a 5 on 3, and Brady Lamb had a shorthanded goal.

Only 6 skaters did not register a point. Scoring was balanced, with every line and every defensive pairing getting at least an assist.

The second period was the best period. tUMD scored three goals in the 2nd, one in the first, and two in the second. Could it be the second period abomination is a thing of the past? Please say yes!

I hate that I'm not in Vermont right now. Last year's road trip to the Shillelagh tournament was one of my favorites. We had the run of the arena, and it was pretty obvious from the B2 feed that we would have again. I think if I yelled the entire state of Vermont would have heard me. I could have caused an avalanche.

In case you don't know, the Dogs will be playing Vermont tomorrow at 6:05 Central. Vermont squeaked by Huntsville 4-3. If you want updates, don't forget, I'm on Twitter!

Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 2 (NONCON)
Points until we reach last season's total: 10 (NONCON)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 27!
Brady Lamb: 10!
Mike Seidel: 8

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 9
Mike Seidel: 8
Wade Bergman: 2
Keegan Flaherty: 2
Dan Delisle: 1
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Drew Olson: 1

Connollys
Jacky: 27!
Mikey: 20!

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 1
Dylan: 9

Drews
Olson: 10
Akins: 15

On Notice
Dan Delisle
Keegan Flaherty
Drew Olson

Goals Only
Jordan Fulton
Chad Huttel
Scott Kishel
Mike Montgomery
Dylan Olsen
Mike Seidel

A Day Late and a Dollar Short/Eight is Enough

tUMD 2, Fortunate Nerds 3/tUMD 8, Unfortunate Nerds 1

Oh, I totally failed you all this weekend, I'm sorry. Except I did tweet the Saturday game! Awesome! I tried to avoid typos. It was kind of fun, but it also sort of took away from my maximum enjoyment.

So, Friday. Went to the Coach's Show lunch at tSports Garden. Failed to listen to most of what Sandelin was saying as I was arguing with Ciskie's father-in-law. We have differing views on the team. I will leave it at that. Then they had a drawing and called my ticket number and I yelled "THAT'S ME!" and came on down like it was The Price is Right. And I had to run by Sandy to get it at the front table, where Bob Nielsen was sitting. And it was also live on the radio. Fortunately, there were like 10 people at the brunch and most were geriatric, and who listens to the radio anyway? This sort of ruined my plans to talk to Nielsen about the one-sided article in the Duluth News Tribune about the student section, because 1. the geriatrics were monopolizing him and 2. I had sort of wrecked my credibility by looking like a moron. At least I didn't yell "F*** YEAH!" or something. That would really ruin my case.

The game pretty much depressed me. Especially when the Huskies scored in the middle of the 2nd goal lap. And also the sign that I made offended an idiot. It said "EVERY TIME A COWBELL RINGS" and on the back "GOD KILLS A HUSKY," with KILL in red letters and paint splattered on the sign like blood. That's not really that bad. I didn't draw a dead dog or anything. I should have.

Good things from Friday include goals from JACKY!!!!! and Mikey Seidel, with a Brady Lamb assist on the Jacky goal, which means that all of My Guys had points. I didn't think tUMD played particularly poorly, as they had about a million chances that just didn't pan out. Some days you have the puck luck, some days you don't. Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you. Other good things include seeing my bestie and Biddco after a long period of not seeing them.

Then Saturday.

Saturday we made a bunch of signs including a NORTH WISCONSIN sign with a map of Wisconsin and the UP; a Revenge of the Nerds-themed sign, and one that just said NO. The NO sign was probably the most hilarious. It was so universally applicable.

Then we went to the MTU alumni dinner at tGarden, but I missed out on 1. talking to Jamie Russell and 2. seeing the hottie who is in charge of the MTU alumni stuff. Tragedy. I saw Jamie for like 10 seconds as he was leaving. Then I saw Ross walking like a robot as he was walking to the bathroom to throw up. Before the game. Way to go.

Since Tech won on Friday, Biddco lost the bet he had with MeanEgirl. This meant he had to wear her Kinrade jersey. Then she listed off about 800 things we could not do, including 1. cover the jersey 2. throw it on the floor OR ground 3. throw it in the lake 4. take it off 5. put pins or tape on it or 6. allow anyone else to wear it. Biddy and I got creative and realized he could still ride the pony with it (in front of the Tech parents, which was a bad idea) and also he could hike up his pants and tuck it in like a nerd (ALSO in front of the Tech parents, which was ALSO a bad idea). I laughed so hard I could barely walk. He looked amazing.

He looked ESPECIALLY amazing running EIGHT laps, as tUMD scored EIGHT goals. What? And Justin Fontaine had 4 of them! tUMD fans are lame and only 4 people threw hats on the ice. THAT IS PATHETIC, PEOPLE. PATHETIC. I am going to have to start wearing hats to games simply to make sure I'm ready in case of emergency. Really, there were some stupid hats being worn. Get with the program, people! It's been 5 years since the last one! Did you forget how it worked? I wish I had a YouTube video of Fonz's 3rd goal. Oh my. BIG weekend for Brady Lamb and MCON as well, and former My Guy Rob Bordson. Biddy and I discovered the secret to Rob Bordson's newfound amazingness, although I will not share.

SO incredibly proud of how the guys responded after Friday's loss. Now come down to the Cities and sweep the Gophers.

Numbers
Wins until we reach last season's total: 6! (Let's knock that down some more this weekend!)
Points until we reach last season's total: 18! (Keep rackin' them up!)

My Guys
Jack Connolly: 18! (Another awesome weekend!!!!)
Brady Lamb: 8! (Elevating his game to a new level!!!)
Mike Seidel: 4! (Superb!!!)

Freshmen
Dylan Olsen: 6!
Mike Seidel: 4!
Keegan Flaherty: 2!
Wade Bergman: 1
Dan Delisle: 1
Jake Hendrickson: 1
Drew Olson: 1

Connollys
Jacky: 18!
Mikey: 13! (Catching up!)

Olsen/Olson
Drew: 1
Dylan: 6!

Drews
Olson: 8
Akins: 15

On Notice
Dan Delisle
Jordan Fulton
David Grun
Jake Hendrickson
Chad Huttel
Drew Olson

Goals Only
Drew Akins
Rob Bordson
Cody Danberg
Dylan Olsen