STALOCK! STALOCK!

ZOMG, comrades.

I am freaking shaking right now. Our Stalock, who art in goal, got his first NHL win tonight!!!!! He came in against the Coyotes when the Sharks were down 3-0. Former Badger Joe Pavelski scored toward the end of the 2nd, and then had another in the 3rd, Kyle Wellwood scored to tie it up, and then Patrick Marleau had a shorthanded goal to tie the game and the Joe Thornton sealed the deal with an empty net goal. Stalock was a perfect 9 for 9 on saves.

AND I FREAKING FLIPPED THE FREAK OUT. I screamed pretty much nonstop through the game once Al came in. There's nothing on YouTube yet but I'll try to get some stuff up tomorrow if anything appears.

I am SO EXCITED. I don't know how I'm going to sleep. At the end I was jumping around and screaming. If you follow me on Twitter, you know. If you don't follow me on Twitter, well, dooo it.

Like Lambs to Slaughter

tUMD 5, Bad News Huskies 0
tUMD 3, Bad News Huskies 0

Everyone all thawed out after the chilly weekend? It's 15 degrees (in Minneapolis, in Duluth it's 21), I'm wearing shorts!

I know this is going to blow your mind, by Friday I went out with friends instead of listening to the game. I know! I can't even believe it either! I have friends! What? And my whole life doesn't revolve around Bulldog hockey! I'm as surprised as you are. I thought I'd break out in hives.

Saturday I wasn't really paying attention either, because I was over at MEg's house helping her paint and helping assuage her grief over the impending loss of Jamie Russell. This upsets me as well, as it's well-documented how I feel about Le Russell.

So finally! Finally tUMD gets 8 points from Michigan Tech! That has not happened since before College Hockey Stats has data! That really sucks!

The PP still needs work. Discussion over on tPB tends to favor abandoning the four forwards approach. As did the overall sentiment in AA (I can't write the arena name anymore, not because I have a problem with it but because I am getting spammed like scrazy* with "questions" about my "involvment" with a certain synthetic oil) when we played Wisconsin. Also on the list, not waiting forever to shoot it into the opponent's legs. Just do it right away.

Also, my link for the Hobey Baker vote is jacked up, and I've been too lazy to change it, but here's the correct one. UND's Lawn Mower Tossing Champion is in the lead right now, thanks to some Maple Leafs fans who ran out of waffles to throw. I've been voting pretty much daily just because I can, but all of our guys are sitting with less than 1% of the vote. Good thing the fan vote counts for 1% of the total voting process. Theoretically.

You can also vote for an award a Bulldog player is guaranteed to win: the Stauber Brothers Fan Favorite award. Past winners are My Jacky, Stalock and Garrison.

I already have another idea for a post! I'm hoping this is the end of my posting doldrums!


*Scrazy is a new word Dirty made up last night. Definition pending.

One Week

Bulldogs fans, can you believe that in one week we'll have witnessed our final game at the DECC?

I can't. I really can't. It's hard to believe the new arena was a dream just a few years ago, one we thought the taxpayers of Duluth would never support. And then it was just a drawing, an artist's rendering that made us start to salivate. We saw it grow over time from a pile of rubble to a skeleton to a full structure, and then some of us were lucky enough to go inside and see it. Our captains have skated on it and I would imagine the rest of the teams have had or will have a chance to skate on it very soon. And on December 30th, we'll have our chance to see it for the first time with the ice in, the video board working, and the seats filled with excited fans.

But the DECC, the current arena is our friend. It has been with us for a lot. Sure, the ceiling is falling apart over section 25, and it gets hot in there very easily, and the concourse is crowded, and the only graphic they have is that old man getting hooked and leaving his eyeballs behind, and the sound system doesn't work sometimes, and the press box is a dump, and it's weirdly-sized, and people have to sit on folding chairs sometimes, and there are no suites, and the students are in a weird spot, and the doors don't shut all the way.

That's all part of its charm. I am really going to miss the DECC. I am going to miss going downstairs and wandering around, running into the other team every once in awhile. I'm going to miss being able to sit right next to the penalty box if I want to. I'm going to miss my little corner where my seats are tucked, so I can stand up there and pace if the weird half-row behind me isn't sold. I'm going to miss the goal lap, and that one step that took out Yager last year. I'm going to miss Walt, who retired last home series. I'm going to miss Dick Stewart sitting right above the band, although I know he'll be waving his windsock wherever he sits. I'm going to miss those funky balcony seats, where I always wanted to sit. I'm going to miss the atmosphere, because it's going to take awhile for the new arena to find it again. I'm going to miss sitting in a rink where Brett Hull, Junior Lessard, Bill Watson, Bill Oleksuk, Bob Mason, Glenn Resch, Tom Kurvers, Norm Maciver, Bah Harrington, Alex Stalock, Huffer Christiansen, Chris Marinucci, Shjon Podein, Matt Niskanen, Mason Raymond, Curt Giles and hundreds of other Bulldogs played hockey, not to mention all the Northland-born hockey players who had high school games or section play-offs there. I'm going to miss the rink where my mom and my dad, my uncles and aunt, my grandparents and my great-grandmother went to games.

This week isn't about AMSoil Arena. There will be years and years to talk about it. This week is about the DECC, a place we'll miss even though it's right next door.

Phun with Photoshop

I'm sorry, this isn't very nice, but this picture (from the official arena site) is really hilarious.












I'm not really sorry, though, because if I was sorry I wouldn't be making fun of it.

First of all, that's Al. Were there no photos of Kenny available? He has been in town for a few weeks. Just put the pads on for a few snaps with the camera. I am sure Larry R. would do it. This photo might be fake anyway, because there's no trace of another player. Or a puck. Hm. Plus a jumbotron would never have this kind of a view.

I really wish they could have put UMTC or something instead of Guest, just to make it more realistic. Assuming the Gophers will have a player who can put the puck in the net.

Hey, I know, I have rotten Photoshop skillz too, which is why I can say this. Hey, some of my best friends are terrible Photoshoppers!

Ah well, the real one will look... not like this, I hope. Especially the crazy metal plating on the background of the bottom part. Hmm. But we're going to FINALLY HAVE A JUMBOTRON, which is AWESOME. Now when I miss a goal or exciting play because I am not looking, I can also miss its replay.

WebGems

Hello there. I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way, but damn, I still miss Al.

Duck Tales

Everybody sing! "Duck Tales, A-WOO-HOO!"

This afternoon, Jimmy Bellamy from the Duluth News Tribune hosted a live chat with Rob Bordson, our favorite rags-to-riches (relatively speaking, I mean he did go to Marshall) Bulldog-turned-Duck. Since it wasn't my chat, I'm not going to provide a transcript, but I will give some of the highlights (with my own commentary, of course.)

"Dawn": Which former teammate are you most looking forward to playing against?

Rob: I am looking forward to playing against Jason Garrison and Evan Oberg. I played at UMD with those guys [yes, we know] and I got to know them pretty well when we played together.

Jimmy: Who on the Ducks did you get to know the most in your short time with Anaheim this year?

Rob: I got to know Dan Sexton pretty well. [Dan Sexton is my enemy because he prevents MacGregor Sharp from playing in the NHL.] We were both staying at the hotel together as we were both rookies. He is also from Minnesota and played high school at Apple Valley. He was a very nice guy and I learned a lot from him about how everything works and what it's like to play in the NHL. [Still my enemy.]

RWD: [That's me! Holy smokes!] Hey Rob! Congratulations on a great year with the Bulldogs and your pro contract! [I'm nice.] There's a lot of talk [on USCHO, where losers matriculate en masse] about college vs. major juniors as the right route to the NHL. Do you think that the Ducks' organization respects the college game or are they biased toward MJs? [I asked a question! I didn't chicken out! Like I always do at the Coaches' Show. Except when I won a sweatshirt and screamed.]

Rob: That's a good statement. [Which one?] I think both college and major juniors is [sic] great hockey. A lot of good players come from both leagues. The Ducks definitely respect the college players because they have a history of signing college free agents. Guys like Dustin Penner [Maine], Andy MacDonald [Colgate] [Wait, what???] and Chris Kunitz [Ferris State]. I think a lot of teams are starting to look at the college players as much as major junior players.

RWD: Don't forget MacGregor Sharp... :) [!!!]

Rob: I will actually probably be on the same team as MacGregor. I am very excited. [Me too.]

Jimmy: Have you had a chance to check out the almost-completed Amsoil Arena yet?

"Jamie": Are you disappointed you won't get to play in the new arena?

Rob: I have not seen the new rink since our team took a tour during the year. I am a little disappointed I won't get to play in it, but it was one of the things I had to give up to sign pro. [Also given up: a 2011 NCAA Men's Ice Hockey Champions ring.]

Bruce C.: [A CLEVER DISGUISE!!! Why not B. Ciskie?? Oops, gave it away.] How cool would it be to get to play on Sharpie's line, since you didn't do that much -- if at all -- at UMD? Oh, and did you get to meet the Ducks radio guy? Is he nearly as cool as I am (probably not)? [Good lord. And we were worried I would be the one to make an ass of myself.]

Rob: I would definitely like to play with Sharpie. He is a great player and since we didn't get to play together at UMD I think it would be a lot of fun. And no, I didn't get a chance to meet the radio guys yet. Haha.

Jimmy: No one tops you, Bruce. Ciskie is Spanish for "cool." [THAT'S NOT TRUE, JIMMY! YOU LIAR!!!] Did it take you a second to get over the fact that you were sharing a locker room in practice with Teemu Selanne and the now-retired Scott Niedermayer?

Rob: Yeah, I was in shock for a few days before I actually realized who I was skating with. It was pretty unbelievable to skate with those guys after watching them for years. It is unreal how much skill they have and how well they know the game.

RWD: [I'm monopolizing this chat.] Who are you working out with this summer? [RESTRAINING ORDER ALERT!] You're in Duluth now, right?

Rob: Yes, I am in Duluth for the summer. I am working out with the UMD strength coach Justin May. It is a good place to workout because there are a few current Bulldogs there and some other guys around the area that play Division 1 elsewhere around the country or juniors. It's a good workout. [Men Made By May! Isn't that sexist? Your wife should totally have Chicks Created by Christyn.]

Jimmy: When does training camp begin? Do you have to report earlier than vets?

Rob: I actually have to report next Monday for rookie camp. That will be for a week. And the main training camp begins in September. I am not sure if the veterans will be there right away.

Jimmy: You came from the WCHA, which is arguably [though I don't know why people even bother to argue, it's true] the best conference in college hockey. How much of a speed difference is there in the pro game from what you saw this year?

Rob: It is a bit of a difference. The players are faster and stronger and the puck moves very fast. Everyone is a good passer so the puck zips around pretty good. I felt I could keep up pretty good when I practiced with the team.

[Celebrity guest alert! I mean, other than me. And "Bruce C."]
Sean Avery: What is your take on enforcers? Do you think you could have the mindset to be one in the NHL or have ever taken on that role at any level?

Rob: I think every team needs enforcers. You have to have skilled players and role players to make up a good team. I don't think I will play the role as an enforcer because Anaheim sees me as a skilled forward, but I will definitely learn to play tougher at the pro level.

Bruce C: How ready are you for a gig in the AHL, Rob? Do you think you'll fit in there right away?

Rob: It will definitely be an adjustment. But I think I will learn how to play at the pro level. It might take a few months, but I hope to pick it up fast.

"Tom": Hey, Rob. It's no secret that the Ducks have a lot of great veteran players on their roster. Is there anyone in particular that you're really excited to play alongside?

Rob: Anaheim has a great group of veterans. They have guys that have won the Stanley Cup and medals at the Olympic Games. I think if I made the team I would enjoy every day. It was pretty awesome skating with Teemu Selanne during practice.

RWD: [Yes!!!] Rob, you helped win me 2nd place in my WCHA fantasy hockey league, so thank you. What are some of your personal highlights from last season or your college career?

Rob: Haha. Well, I had a rough couple years to start out my college career, but last year was full of memories. I had a couple 4 point games that were pretty awesome. I think the sweep down in Minnesota [UMTC] was awesome. It is always nice to beat the Gophers and we beat them twice in their barn. As a team that was one of our better weekends. [It was also one of my better weekends for being a total hag to opposing fans.] It was also fun beating CC in the playoffs to get to the Final 5.

Bruce Ciskie: [Whoa, wait! Was that Bruce C. another person??] How about your boy Alex Stalock maybe getting a shot in San Jose this year? [Well if that NNIITTYYMMAAKKII person doesn't get it] Even if he doesn't, how cool is it going to be to face him in the AHL or NHL? [Uh, well, if he doesn't get a shot, then he won't be in the NHL, Bruce.]

Rob: Yeah, Al has a great chance at playing in San Jose. I think the GM of San Jose said it was pretty much wide open. I think Al has a great shot as he played well all year and tied an AHL record for wins as a goalie. It would definitely be fun to play him again.

Bruce C: [See!!! What is going on here???] Where do you shoot on him?

Rob: That's a tough call. He is good all over. He is quick down low so maybe up high.

Jimmy Bellamy: Do you know much about the incoming freshmen at UMD? How do you think the 'Dogs will fare this season?

Rob Bordson: I think UMD will have a good year. [WE DO NOT WANT A "GOOD" YEAR. WE WANT A FANTASTICAL YEAR!] I think they have some good recruits coming in. I know Faulk will be good as he was just drafted in the 2nd round. [Er, yes, that is correct, second round draft picks are always... oh right.]

Fffff. I prepared a question LAST WEEK, I was going to ask if he had experienced any rookie hazing, but I FORGOT. Ugh. Swear words.

Fantasy

No, not the Britney Spears perfume. WCHA FANTASY HOCKEY.

MEg has roped me into sharing her team this year (because I am largely responsible for two of her best pics last year: Stalock and Fonzie; and also because she has to miss the draft. I'm being used), and I'm doing a LOT of research. And because I am such a kind and loving person, I'm going to give my fellow "owners" some of my, um, best tips. Come now, let's all bask in the glow of my vast knowledge of college hockey.

Starting goalie: Bryce Christianson, UAA
With UAA blogger Donald predicting a top-5 finish for the Seawolves this year, a great pick for those middle-of-the-round drafters would be UAA's probable starting goalie. Donald's predictions are usually pretty accurate, with a margin of error of only 4 or 5 places.

Freshman superstar: Ben Hanowski, SCSU
Minnesota high school stud Ben Hanowski is lacing up for the Bad Huskies this year. His Little Falls coach had pretty much one play in his playbook: give the puck to Ben. Why would Bob Motzko deviate from something that worked so well? I'm sure Ben would be happy to play 55 minutes a night.

Defensive hotshot: Ricky Doriott, MTU
Look for a break-out season from Michigan Tech's own Ricky Dorito. Er, Doriott. He's a fast skater, well-conditioned, and is one of the brilliant minds on the forefront of experimental physics.

Offensive breakout: Mike Dorr, UMD traitor UMTC benchwarmer MSUM student-nonathlete
Oops. Save that pick til next year...

Hope that helps you make your picks, Weldie!

The Second Coming of #4

This is sort of cheating, because Vizoroo told me I should do it, but 40 days, people. 40 posts. I don't even do that during the REGULAR season. Don't get used to it.

Western College Hockey listed Dylan Olsen as the #1 incoming player in the West. Which means overall, in case you were unaware.

This is, of course, meaningless in the grand scheme of things, but it is really exciting to have a high-profile player coming to the team. (No pressure or anything though, honey! Just play your best! I know you can do it!) If only Obi had stayed another year. The defence is going to be... interesting this year.

The best part about this article is the comments. I love comments! One of my favorite things in the world is to read the comments on FoxSports. In an article about that soccer guy who choked on a piece of gum, people discussed 1. the Oakland Raiders' violent fans, 2. Dungeons and Dragons, and 3. racism. And there was an insult to the Red Sox. You can not read an article about ANY type of sports without a Yankees or Red Sox mention. It is not possible.

Anyway, college hockey comments are not quite as amazing, but this article has a gem. Of course, the first comment is genius. But the second is some idiot who is all NICK LEDDY!!!!11!!11!!!1 He was drafted higher! By the Wild!!! Who make great choices in the first round! Zach Budish is better 2 bcuz Edina is the best, yo! Go GOPHERZZZZZZ!! Spin your head!!!!

Ok, I'm paraphrasing. Ciskie, Goon, Rabib (really?), another Gopher fan, and someone named 20Forever who I can only assume is a big Andrew Carroll fan all essentially shoot this guy down, but it was pretty hilarious.

(Once Nick Leddy comes to the Wild, I'll love him, I'm sure. The sooner the better! But really, he needs to eat some sandwiches before he'll become effective.)

Also, I think we've finally solidified that Alex Stalock >>>>>>> Jase Weslosky. If WCHA goaltending champion, first team All-American, and Final Five MVP didn't convince you, then maybe staying academically eligible might.

Edit: I was checking for more weird search engine hits and found "dylan olsen not happy at umd." Medicine Hat Tiger fan Dude, at least wait for the season to start.

Part Two:

UMD Hockey: The Empire Strikes Back

Aka installment #2 in the UMD Hockey Facebook page's highlight reels.

I know there's something... something I'm supposed to be talking about... because everyone is... but I can't think of it, so let's just discuss what I love about this video.

1. Meyers clearing the puck from the crease as Stalock is nowhere near it after the initial save.

2. Bone-crushing hits in the MSUM game. Sadly, impossible to tell who is dishing them out.

3. Andrew Carroll's game-tying goal against MSUM. I was clutching InebriatedMike and screaming.

4. Jacky goals!!!! Always a pretty sight.

5. M-CON PWNED DU!

6. Danberg's goal where he was at the bottom of a pile shoving at the puck, and the refs when he FINALLY signals goal!

7. Vizoroo: check out Sharpy when he banks one off the crossbar at 3:47. :)

8. Cheverie lolling his head back at his utter futility.

9. Sharpy scoring a goal and then dumping a Gopher to the ice.

10. Sam Lofquist once again acknowledging he sucks after a UMD goal.

11. The Gophers' gift to Sharpy... nice clearing pass to Sharpy, uncovered, with 4 Gophers lazily skating the other way.

BIG THUMBS DOWN:

I know this was maybe not Stalock's finest hour, but I wanted to see footage of the play where Goro missed the net!!!

The grand finale had BETTER have some togas in it.

Hmmm... my boss just came by and said "19-0." What does that mean???? :D

The Trilogy

UMD Hockey: A New Hope

aka part 1 of 3 of UMD's 2008-2009 highlight videos. It's AWESOME... but such a tease! You can also "fan" UMD Hockey while you're at it.

Favorite parts:

1. Photo of Stalock in the middle of a group of players with the goal nowhere in sight.

2. Many many many many many goals scored on SCSU.

3. Brad Eidsness having a hissy fit.

4. Chad Huttel going all Akins.

5. Mike Connolly totally beating Weslosky.

6. The "revisionist" Denver series.

7. Akins going all Akins.

8. Lots and lots of flying waterbottles.

10 Things To Hate About Us

You know, I used to really think Heath Ledger was a major hottie when he was in movies like The Patriot and he was just another pretty face. Then he goes and kisses a dude and suddenly he's a serious actor. If all I had to do to get some respect around here was make out with a few chicks, I'd be accepting the Nobel Prize in literature.

Ahem. That is neither here nor there. Anyway, back when he was alive and relatively unknown, he was in a movie called 10 Things I Hate About You. It's kind of a very stupid movie, but it did somehow pop into my head and provide the inspiration for this post.

Just a few things to remind fans of the other teams in the league why tUMD is better than they are.

1. UMTC
The Bulldogs bounced you from your own "invitational," then won one of the most dramatic games ever played in your own barn. And you didn't even get to have the best road trip in the WCHA... although FHG and Cardinal did it twice anyway.

2. DU
You suffered your first loss in the Final Five, and we made it look easy. Then the next weekend you looked even worse. We also prevented you from sharing in the league title with our lone win over you. On the plus side, Mullet did have a nice sign showing Gwoz where the locker rooms were.

3. CC
We started your golfing season early with our kickoff to our improbable playoff run, and we put up a touchdown on you when we faced you in December. Don't you guys like playing hockey?

4. UND
Oh man, where to start? We're the only team you didn't beat, we beat you in the Final Five, and we flipped you in the PWR, so you got to draw New Hampshire and get scored on with .1 seconds left! Our mascot is also not racist.

5. UW
Possibly one of the most embarrassing moments of the season came when Stalock was being Stalock and Tom Gorowsky shot the puck over the net.

6. SCSU
Like they need to be reminded... Mitch Ryan didn't pan out as well as Dan Kronick, did he? We have a better arena coming. And our hockey parents aren't embarrassments to our team.

7. MSUM
We pretty much killed Pretty Boy Dan Tormey's hopes of playing in any more games after we put up another touchdown (gee, the Bulldogs sure like scoring 7 goals!), and our end-of-season meltdown was still not enough to get you out of 8th place.

8. MTU
Geoff Kinrade was exposed as a flopper when we visited the UP and MSJ took him out and got an undeserved (naturally) penalty. And "The Man" tried to silence your cowbells.

9. UAA
As Donald points out to me often, UAA took 7 of 8 points from UMD, so they don't have much to be mad about... except they whooped us and we went on to the NCAA regional finals, and they were swept out of Denver.

10. The whole league
We were the "last man standing" while finishing 7th in the league. So if you finished above us, you can't believe it wasn't you, and if you finished below us, you're jealous it wasn't you. We also accomplished what many, many teams have failed to do: won the Final Five in three games.

So, I hope this fans the flames of rivalry. As if we need to get any warmer... ugh.

The All-WCHA Hottie Teams

There is one thing that sets RWD apart from all other college hockey blogs. No, not its utter uselessness, as there are many other useless college hockey blogs. It is the All-WCHA Hottie Awards, which are generally done in April, but due to 1. Laziness and 2. Extreme Workaholicness, here they are in May. For those of you who were in a panic, thinking they weren't coming, fear not. I always come through for my readers... eventually.

So, here we are!

Coach: Jamie Russell****, MTU
Assistant Coach: Brett Larson, UMD
Blogger: StartTheBus of The Bus Stops Here! Still the greatest blog to ever come out of St. Cloud!

LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
Once in awhile, there comes along a hottie so amazing that he needs singling out. After four years of dominating the All-Hottie List and the hearts of college hockey fans, he has graduated and there will be a gaping void in his place. Not only is he an amazingly hot hottie on the outside, he's an incredibly nice person on the inside, and really, when you're hot, you don't have to be nice. (At least this is my excuse.) So, Robby Nolan, I am naming the First Team All-Hottie Goalie spot after you. I will miss you and your crazy sweatpants ritual before games, your blindingly white teeth, your penchant for wearing very strange clothing, your handsome face, and your kindness. Best of luck as you begin the next leg of your journey!

1st team:
F MacGregor Sharp**, UMD
F Malcolm Gwillam*, MTU
F Darcy Zajac*, UND
D Geoff Kinrade*, MTU
D David Carlisle*, SCSU
G Robby Nolan***, MTU

2nd team:
F Ryan Peckskamp**, SCSU
F Jack Connolly, UMD
F Chris VandeVelde**, UND
D JP Testwuide*, DU
D Brady Lamb, UMD
G Alex Stalock*, UMD

3rd Team:
F Michael Gergen*, UMD
F Jordan Baker*, MTU
F Matt Greer, UMD
D Kane LaFranchise*, UAA
D Drew Dobson*, MTU
G Mike Zacharias, MSUM

Freshman Team:
F Jack Connolly, UMD
F Jake Hansen, UMTC
F Justin Jokinen, MSUM
D Brady Lamb, UMD
D Nicholas Rioux, SCSU
G Lars Paulgaard, DU

* denotes two-time honoree
** denotes three-time honoree
*** denotes four-time honoree
**** denotes five-time honoree

Some notes:
CC players are missing because their roster pix are all down.
MSUM and MTU have their new rosters up, and so their seniors are missing and I had to get creative.

UMD's website doesn't have links to individual players, so again, creativity. Argh.
UW players are missing because they are ugly.

The freshman team was very painful to put together. Half the guys on there are just plugged in because I had to put someone. And yes, I know, Paulgaard looks insane.

The Way We Were

Yes, I know. It has been an unacceptably long time since I last posted, and unlike other season's finales, there's been a ridiculous amount of GOOD content about which to write. If you cared, I am sorry, but the end of the season gave me a lot to sift through and it deserved my full attention. Even now, though this post is more like a novel, I feel like I haven't done it justice, but it's a try.

I don't know of any Bulldog fan who on some level was not ready to pack it in after the UAA series. I mean, some were entirely ready to do so or had already, while some remained cautiously optimistic. I had a post kind of already plotted out in case something terrible happened, which I sort of remember now, weeks and eons later. It certainly felt as though we were headed for another futile, Fitzgerald-esque off-season. You know, "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." Another mediocre finish.

Instead, we got one of the wildest finishes to a season that could possibly be imagined in the drug-addled hallucinations of a schizophrenic.

It started in CC. I was actually rather pleased that we had drawn CC rather than any of the myriad other teams we could have played. Yes, we'd only played them once, but we'd played them at home and had totally rocked it. In fact, it was the only team we had fared well against away from home.

tUMD scored 7 goals in those two games and never trailed. It was incredible. They played in a commanding fashion and despite CC's best attempts to kill our players, the Bulldogs swept them into the off-season. Travis Oleksuk burst onto the college hockey scene, and Alex Stalock made an impossible-looking save, as he is wont to do.

God, was that ever a long time ago. Almost a month ago, to be exact. I was incredibly depressed that I couldn't go to the games in CC as I had to work.

The days before the Final Five seemed tortuously slow. On top of that, the crazy PWR-heads had crunched some rather terrifying numbers: there were multiple scenarios in which the Bulldogs would still miss the NCAA tournament. Funny how we'd gone from lookin' good to almost surely out to possibly back in it within a few weeks. Pretty indicative of the season as a whole.

The play-in game was probably the most terrifying game I'd attended, simply because I was almost entirely surrounded by Gopher fans. It ended up not being that bad though, as all the UND fans were cheering against the Gophers, which meant they were cheering for tUMD. I also saw a group of St. Cloud fans in their jerseys with print-outs of tUMD's logo pinned to the fronts. Dirty and MEg both donned UMD gear as well. I have never seen them look more attractive.

I don't believe in fate or destiny, but when I look back on that weekend, I have never seen anything go so right in my entire life. Certainly not for a team that I follow.

It started off well. Gopher goalie Alex Kangas had was fighting off the flu (whether it was influenza or the oft-mislabeled gastroenteritis, I don't know nor do I want to) and it was unclear if he would even play, but he's a gamer and so he was out there. Barely three minutes into the game, Kangas misplayed a rebound and MacGregor Sharp scored the first goal of the game. The UMD fans in attendance, as well as the Gopher haters, made the Xcel sound fairly loud. Five minutes later, UMD found themselves two men short for slightly over a minute, and I really started to stress. Penalty killing had not been a strength over the season, and though they had been must better in CC, they had given up a 6x4 goal and a 6x5 goal. tDogs managed to kill it off, and went into the locker room at intermission with a lead. The Gophers came out in the second with Patterson in net and Kangas on the bench, apparently too sick to continue. The second period saw the always hard-working Matt Greer put the Dogs up another goal, but despite the best efforts of my dear friend and our DanceMania antics, I could NOT calm down. In the third, the Gophers scored early on a weird deflection type goal, which would be the only goal to beat Stalock that weekend. Then I REALLY stressed. The clock could not POSSIBLY go any slower. Once time started running out, I kept one eye on the play and one eye on Patterson. tUMD managed to control play enough that the Gophers couldn't pull him until there were 38 seconds left, and still the Gophers nearly had a great scoring chance, if not for the brilliant hooking penalty Andrew Carroll took, which could not be assessed before time ran out.

The first task completed, tDogs now faced possibly a more daunting prospect: they absolutely needed to win one of the next two games in order to guarantee entry into the NCAAs, and they had to face a team on a roll: UND. Allegiances changed: UND fans were (of course) cheering against tUMD, while only the bitterest of Gopher fans stayed off the UMD bandwagon. I really stressed, again. This was overall a very stressful weekend for me!!! In addition to the games, I had three exams, and I actually skipped the Friday afternoon game to study. Or to attempt to study, as I was terribly distracted.

Stalock recently edged out UND goaltender Brad Eidsness for the WCHA goaltending title by an incredibly slim margin, so many touted it as a battle to see who really could claim the title. Eidsness decided he wanted to show he could beat Stalock at his own game, and while Fonzie was in the box serving a too many men on the ice penalty, Brad went behind the net to play the puck and made a blind pass to MacGregor Sharp, who quickly tucked the puck into the net before Eidsness could finish crapping himself. Mike Montgomery added another hard-working goal in the first period, and the Dogs had a nice lead at the end of the first. Of course, I was still stressed out, but you know me. In the second period, Brady Lamb was handed a major penalty for kneeing Matt Watkins. I went home and watched the game again on my DVR, and I will tell you folks, it was not a kneeing penalty. Watkins came off the bench and skated right into Brady Lamb, who is clearly going after the puck. He makes an odd leg motion, but if you look closely, he's trying to accelerate, not trying to take out Watkins, who as I already said, skated right into him. Watkins was injured, which was unfortunate, but not every injury in hockey is a penalty. UMD killed the major penalty in a textbook manner, and the only subsequent goal was an empty netter from Mike Connolly, who popped his jersey and made a bunch of people get their undies in a bunch. I have no problem with the jersey pop, as long as they're popping the front and not the back. I was so excited after the game I looked up at DHG in the club level and screamed "WE'RE GONNA DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Saturday came. The day of reckoning. tUMD was essentially playing with the house's money at this point. I was taking a ridiculously hard test and then another test that was not as hard and then I made it over to see the rest of the UW/DU game. And of course, despite everyone's logical arguments and soothing platitudes, I was stressed out. I was probably not helping myself because between periods at each game, the only other person in the building more stressed out than I came over and we probably ended up stressing ourselves out MORE. Although it is nice to have someone who understands me!

No play-in game winner had ever won the Final Five. No team had ever beaten Denver in the Final Five. tUMD had never won the Broadmoor trophy in the current fashion. A pessimist could say the odds were stacked against them, while an optimist would say it was a perfect storm of opportunity. We had die-hard Gopher fans wearing tUMD jerseys. Everyone who mattered was cheering for the Bulldogs, excluding the DU fans, who had an excuse.

I can't even recap the game because it was just so incredible. UMD was... dominant. MacGregor Sharp was dominant. ALEX STALOCK WAS DOMINANT. Gwoz pulled Cheverie fairly early, in a typically gutsy Gwoz style move, and I remember thinking "GET SHARP ON THE ICE." And of course he was, because he's always on the ice in that situation. Mike Connolly got the puck and brought it up ice and, because he is an incredible guy who plays on an incredible team, he passed the puck to MacGregor Sharp who sent it into the open net for a hat trick. The roar in the Xcel was incredible. You would never have known that only about... oh, maybe 15% of the crowd were wearing UMD gear. I didn't leave the arena until the last Bulldog had left the ice.

The only thing left to worry about, tournament-wise, was where UMD would go. They had secured a 2-seed, pole-vaulting over UND to be the second-seeded WCHA team. Wisconsin was the last man out, and the Gophers just behind them. The selection show was pretty cool, as UMD was one of the only non-#1 seeds that got any attention, and Barry Melrose even picked them to be in the finals, which some people said was the kiss of death but he also picked BU, and they won, so it was hardly that way. Once I found out that tUMD would go to the west regional, I was THRILLED.

Days of plotting ensued. MEg and I spent two nights making posters (we made over 20) and togas, and eight of us suited up and headed over to the Miami-DU game. We made friends with the Miami band, which apparently offended the INCH people, but they were very nice. We were fickle in our allegiance. Or as MEg says, allianceship. An incredibly battered Denver team got bounced out, and we prepared ourselves for our Bulldogs.

UMD scored first, which felt so nice, but Princeton scored three times unanswered, and the UMD faithful started to stress. Just as I was running downstairs to give Sioux-cia her ticket (she was very late), Brady Lamb decided it would be a good time to get his first collegiate goal. Bless you, Brady, you have amazing timing. Princeton scored again shorthanded, and we were down by two goals. It was pretty sad. I refused to let the UMD fans get out-cheered by the Princeton band, so every time they started a cheer, I started one. If we were going to die, we were going to die with our boots on. So to speak.

I can not even describe the impossibility of the final minute of the game. Every time I watch it, it seems more impossible. Here, you can watch it, too.



See what I mean? I don't even know if I knew what happened when Oberg scored. I just know it was like being attacked by an octopus, because everyone was hugging everyone. Togas were falling off. Signs were being ripped. The overtime goal was great, but it was just overshadowed by the game-tying goal.

The next night was heartbreaking. There was controversy, of course, but ultimately UMD lost the game and the season ended, and now Cascalenda, Carroll, Gergen, Greer, Kemp, Meyers, Sharp, Oberg, Stalock, and maybe others will never suit up for the Bulldogs again. It's hard for me to even think about. But they have left a legacy and they have left behind some incredible players who will remember this past season, who will remember nothing is over until it truly is, who will remember what these guys who are leaving have passed on to them. But I also don't want to take anything away from the guys who will come back next year, as they were an integral part of the successes of this season.

I didn't think, when I watched the Frozen Four games, that it would be so hard. I kept thinking how much I wanted the Dogs to be there. It's amazing, however, that they came so close. Bittersweet.

Don't worry, because RWD is going to be open for business for the summer. And don't worry, ladies and gents, because the most popular RWD post of the year is on its way.

The PB&H Era

Folks.

It's officially Peanut Butter Hjelle Time.

Thanks Al. You are incredible, and you will be blowing everyone's minds in the NHL very soon.

A Moment Like This

Well, I've certainly waited a lifetime. And some of you have, for this post.

Well, I still don't know what to say. Seriously, I have been avoiding writing anything all day and now I am sitting here staring at the computer screen.

I feel really terribly that I half-arsed the recaps this weekend. It was the greatest weekend of hockey I have ever witnessed and I was speechless. Or, typeless. Partially because I had 2 final exams on Saturday in rather challenging classes, and 1 more today, so I was completely out of it mentally. Not to mention that the games made me UNBELIEVABLY STRESSED OUT. And we all know how I stress out under normal circumstances.

Last night I watched the most amazing game of my life. I mean, wow. tDogs were locked and cocked. 4 lines of forwards, 3 pairs of defencemen, and 1 goalie who were rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'. MacGregor Sharp has been My Guy for two years now, and he just EXPLODED in this tournament. It was like a giant SCREW YOU to the WCHA All-Conference Team voters (other than me). And Stalock proved why he is HEAD AND SHOULDERS AND KNEES AND TOES above every other goalie in the WCHA. And tUMD showed everyone who watched exactly what kind of team they are: the deepest, most complete team in that tournament. What did UMTC's superstar top line do against them? How about Hobey Baker winner Ryan Duncan? DU, the most potent offense in the WCHA? Yeah. One lousy deflection off a skate in the play-in game.

tUMD's defence was so incredible that in the 9th period they played this weekend, they allowed one shot on goal.

I care very much about what happens next weekend, because of course I do not want this delicious insanity to stop. But this weekend stands on its own. Many of the highlights of this program are bittersweet. Making the Frozen Four... making the championship game... league runner-up: all have a patina of loss tarnishing the accomplishment. The Broadmoor trophy is the result of 5 thrilling wins against improbable odds. And it is a championship. UND fans, Gopher fans, BC fans will probably laugh at us for our glee; they only care about the "real" trophy. Well, that's fine. Take your 5, or 7, or however many National Championships, and tell me what it was like to win the first one. Oh, you weren't alive in 1949? Or 1959? Hmm, maybe more of you were alive in 1974. But for the fans at the time, the first Broadmoor, the first MacNaughton, the first NCAA title... those were a big deal. This is tUMD's first Final Five championship, and I was there to see it. Amazing.

It has been a day now and I am still exhilarated every time I think about it. I can't imagine how our team feels right now.

I'm just rambling like a crazy cat lady right now, so I'm going to stop. I'll probably write more tomorrow, if I can get my thoughts together.

It's still amazing.

It's Friday, I'm In Love

tUMD 3, Stalock-wannabe's team 0

Dear Brad Eidsness,
You are not Stalock and never will be.
Love,
RWD
p.s. Thanks for the SHGWG!!!!!

Oh you guys. I am so happy. So incredibly happy. It does not matter that I am going to fail a test in 7 hours. I will still pass the class. I think. Yes. I hope. Maybe. Ee.

I had a thousand and one heart attacks during this game. It matters not. tUMD is going to play for a Broadmoor and they are going to the Little Dance. Hockey is extended for another weekend. I am so happy. I'm just not ready to let my seniors go and they are not ready either.

Again, really can't recap as I might try to get a few hours of sleep. I am going to post my motivational speech since I will not have the chance tomorrow.

Great moments are born from great opportunity. And that's what you have here, tonight, boys. That's what you've earned here tonight. One game. If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not tonight. Tonight, we skate with them. Tonight, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can! Tonight, WE are the greatest hockey team in the WCHA. You were born to be hockey players. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time. Their time is done. It's over. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a great hockey team the Pioneers have. Screw 'em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it.

Herb Brooks in Miracle

The Numbers
Playoff wins until we equal last season's total: +4!

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 44! (Simply amazing.)
Jack Connolly: 27
Michael Gergen: 16
Rob Bordson: 0

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 35! (ENG!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Jack Connolly: 27
Travis Oleksuk: 3
Scott Kishel: 2
Brady Lamb: 1 (But was a naughty boy tonight... eek!)
David Grun: 0

On Notice
Rob Bordson
Andrew Carroll
Cody Danberg
Trent Palm
Kyle Schmidt

Goals Only
Drew Akins
Jay Cascalenda
Evan Oberg
Alex Stalock

I Think I Can

This team just wouldn't be denied. I love it. The Little Bulldogs That Could.

I stated on USCHO that attending the Final Five without tUMD was like celebrating Christmas with someone else's family. It's fun, but just not the same.

I don't know if you all aware of this, but UMD was never losing in this game, and once they scored, they never allowed CC to tie it up. You would not know that UMD played well. According to the media in Colorado Springs, a team of hobos and vagrants could have shown up and beat CC. But, enough about Bemidji State. Patesy was left back in Duluth to write his recap at the mercy of B2 and the evil Floating Tiger Head. Thankfully, FTH was MUCH less prominent than he was last year, and he didn't really block the action.

Power play dominance continued, as UMD struck early after Stalock started the play up the ice (gaining his FIRST ASSIST ALL YEAR, and getting him Off Notice for the first time. Seriously, Al. If you are going to scare the crap out of me by leaving the net, I expect more points. And also, I expect goals!) and Travis Oleksuk got the puck to MY SWEET JACKY who FINALLY GOT A GOAL. This is it, people. The floodgates have opened. I predict Jacky will set a WCHA Final Five record in goals scored this weekend. Captain Kangaroo and Peppermint Patty (who will come into the game once Kangy commits seppukku on his hockey stick) will have whiplash from watching Jacky put pucks in the net. I'm very excited about Mr. Oleksuk, too. Brucie said last night that the coaching staff was very smart in holding him out of so many games, as he has really infused some energy into our lineup just when we need it. Those 3 guys were the stars of the game according to College Hockey Stats.

The second goal occurred on the power play as well, with senior Nick Kemp putting one in thanks to the MSJ-T.O. Express. The CC players did not like that, and instead tried to kill him. Some giant jerk smashed Nick's face into the glass and no penalty ensued. Nicky ended up missing the 2nd period and returned in the 3rd only to have some CC butthead go right after him again.

CC played ultra-sketchy in this game, I should point out. Now, tUMD are no angels (and I would not expect it! This is hockey, not ballet! Although ballerinas are very cutthroat.) but CC was being ridiculous. They were elbowing like crazy brides at a wedding sample sale, but they also went down faster than a mobster wearing cement shoes in the East River. How can they be tough sissies? It does not compute. For example, after Nicky got elbowed, My Sweet Jacky got called for holding. It was a very horsecrap call, although not as horsecrap as the one he took in the second for interference. I did not know a puck carrier could be called for interference. I think I missed that page. I suppose the referees are not used to seeing players, um, trying. I just looked at the stats and we came out only one penalty ahead. I was surprised to see that, but it is so.

The whole time it was 2-1, I was stressing big time. Gergzilla must have sensed that, because he jumped in on the Fuzzy-Sharpie line while Little Nicky was being poked and prodded to make sure he was good to go, he decided he'd better make the most of it and made Richie Rich look like an idiot. Obi-wan and Sharpie had assists. And like that it was 3-1 and it relieved a little of my stress.

I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so excited you guys are in the Final Five. Thank you for playing 120 minutes of BULLDOG HOCKEY this weekend and showing everyone what I already knew: you guys are awesome! SEE YOU THURSDAY!!! (Well, I will see you. If you see me it's probably a bad thing as it most likely means I am humiliating myself in public. Again.)

Screw Kangas. Stalock for Defensive Player of the Week! And get well soon Nicky, Jordy, Trent Palm, and anyone else who is playing through an injury!

Friday XIII

In the late winter of 1957, Colorado College hockey players attended a diversity education camp on the shores of an undisclosed mountain lake. While they were at this camp to learn about treating others fairly and not dressing up in offensive costumes, they were far more interested in "hooking up" with other attendees at the camp, spreading mono and making sure their recruits were "taken care of." They were, in fact, too busy making out with other campers to notice a young boy out in the middle of the lake, struggling to stay above water. Finally, he succumbs to the cold water and goes under, but the CC players don't even register anything is amiss.

Fast forward to 2009. Again, it's late winter, and the CC players are spreading mono just as though no time had passed. But unbeknownst to those players, they are about to pay for the negligence of the players from long ago.

The young boy that appeared to drown in the lake? He's still alive, fully grown, and is seeking revenge against CC. He has donned a goalie mask and he's got a thirst for blood. His name is Alex Stalock.

The CC Tigers begin what they think is a normal playoff game against the UMD Bulldogs, a team not even in the WCHA back in 1957, a team that struggled the past few weekends against lesser foes, and who appear little threat to the Tigers.

It's no ordinary game. Though it begins slow, the CC players start to notice things aren't quite right. Forward Cody Lampl leaves the game early for a major penalty, and mysteriously disappears. No one can find him, and the Tigers start to worry a bit. Then UMD's Drew Akins takes a slashing penalty, and the Tigers think they're going to mount an offensive assault.

CC's power play unit has no idea what hits them. They pepper the net with shots and yet nothing can break the impenetrable wall. Behind the mask, they hear a voice snarling "You left me to die!!!!"

In the locker room between periods, the Tigers are confused, and one of them brings it up to the coach. As he listens to the story, he visibly pales. "I... I... I thought he was dead!" he stammers.

"You thought who was dead?" Chad Rau asks.

"S-s-s-s-stalock!" And rather than strategize how the Tigers might defeat this monsters, he spends the rest of the intermission telling the story of how the 1958 CC Tigers were killed by a murdering lunatic whose son had drowned the previous summer. "Only one player survived, and he thought it was a dream. But now I know... it's no dream."

The Tigers are so terrified they go into the second period unable to go anywhere near Stalock, allowing Jack Connolly to send Jordan Fulton into their defensive zone to score without hindrance. The team finally musters the strength when they see that the Bulldogs have left Stalock with only 3 players to defend him, but the tenacity of the Bulldogs is unmatched by their opponents. Eric "Traitor" Walsky finally musters the courage to go directly for Stalock, but he's so terrified by Stalock's blocker, which appears to be stained with blood, that he quickly shoots and runs away. The puck ends up in the net, but only due to an unfortunate deflection from a Bulldog skate.

In the third period, the Tigers try once more to muster their courage and defeat the rampaging goalie, who sends Steven Schultz to the penalty box barely alive after he interfered with Stalock, and Stalock strikes his final blow, a post-to-post save on Scott McCulloch that dooms the entire Tiger team to the same fate as the 51 teams before them that have had to pay for the sins of the 1957 squad.

Meanwhile, in a pawn shop nearby, some hockey players are thinking of trying to play another game against the Bulldogs. Behind the counter, Crazy Randy tries to warn them of the danger awaiting...

The John

tUMD 2, Corporate Drones 2

Hello, all! Are we all exhilarated and refreshed after the stressful tie last night? Are we all so nervous our hearts are pounding faster than a hummingbird's wings? Don't leave me hangin' here!

I was so stressed last night. And the entire day preceding the game. And pretty much ever since I recovered from my trip to Houghton. And a tie is incredibly stressful for me because of its potential to swing from 1 point to 0 in a matter of seconds. Especially when tUMD's all-star rocking forecheckers didn't GO TO THE NET ENOUGH. ESPECIALLY ON THE POWER PLAYS, GUYS. Seriously. Peppermint Patty was leaving you nice sexy rebounds to romance into the net, and y'all were like "We just want to CYCLE!!!" Seriously, though, tUMD put on a CLINIC in pressure in the offensive zone in the 3rd period. However, not enough players registered for the break-out session on goal-scoring.

It's no surprise to see who stepped up in this game. MATT GREER and NICK KEMP, two SENIORS. Greer's goal was just... ok I should have watched the tape delay so I could really write about it, but I happened to be looking right down on it and on the initial shot or pass or whatever I was like "Nooooo" because I didn't think it came at Matty at a good angle but then he just made it work. Tim Gunn would be proud. Kemp's goal was an awesome garbage goal that Peppermint Patty couldn't keep out of the net. Honestly I can't believe the whistle wasn't blown or something but MIRACLE OF MIRACLES the officials never lost sight of the puck. The Gopher goals came on 1.) Stalock being Stalock and 2. Shenanigans so I'm feeling pretty good about tonight's game. I think that UMTC should probably put away the checkbook and save any money earmarked for tonight's ref payoffs for the 09-10 campaign; what is the point? Even winning out may not help their cause.

I'd like to talk for a moment about YET ANOTHER reason why I'm glad I'm not a Gopher fan. There are just so many, but their precious palace is one that I'm probably in the minority on. I think for a college atmosphere, it's just... terrible. My #1 complaint is that when I am yelling, only like 1% of the people in the arena can hear me. Trust me, I'm yelling for a reason, you want to hear it. Unless like in the 2nd period when I yelled "LET'S GO POWER PLAY!" when we were 4 on 4. I could not count, evidently. But I think the clock guy heard me because there was only a Gopher penalty on the board. But other than swallowing up the noise of the individual, the arena sucks because there's no sense of unity among the fans. Even the student sections couldn't get together, and they are on a cheering schedule. Cheer at an unscheduled time, and one of the 8,000-year-old ushers will ask you to leave. Oh, and also, when Thug4life Jake Hansen took out Greer and Suz was running onto the ice, the music folks decided to play "Another One Bites The Dust." Ok, Music Person, I'm pretty classless at arenas at times, but I'm not in any way affiliated with tUMD. YOU are, and you suck. SANCTIONS! One final thought: how come no one can trash talk well with me? Someone asked me "Are all UMD fans like you?" and I said "They aren't as cute as me," and he said "That must have been a long bus ride." Then later when T-Lu and the Sheriff took their OT matching penalties, I was laughing about Sunday dinner at the Lucia house and how Tony would be in trouble, and the wife of the previously mentioned person said "He'll get extra dessert." What? People, try harder.

Sigh. I'm in class right now and don't have my Numbers. I just know that Matty G and Kemper the Wrecker are OFF NOTICE!!!!

Come on 'Dogs!!! No giving away charity points tonight! Go for the jugular!!

Rehab

Losers 2, Winners 2
(A tie is now referred to as a "Tech win.")

The best thing about late posts is they are usually better. We shall see. I'm still trying to piece together the weekend. Thank goodness for the many people who contributed to the invention of the digital camera. And thank goodness for the delete button on said camera!

I am sorry in advance that this post is full of dumb inside jokes. Unless you are in on those jokes, in which case I am not sorry. You might be, but I can't help that.

Friday night was pretty tame, as I mentioned in that post, which seems so long ago now. This meant my fellow shortie and I were well-rested for the day, and we started it off standing out in the cold heckling an IM broomball game. People at Tech are very serious about broomball. They are not serious about playing defence in their broomball games, though. We also ate at a Chinese food place that did not take my food before I was done eating it nor did it have someone trying to put lemons in the water of non-lemon likers, and I also got to be a creeper for a few minutes because a player walked in. I thought maybe Chinese food was a good thing to eat before games but in fact that person could have eaten a bucket of lard and it would not have mattered because he did not play.

The hockey part of the day started early as I had to go to the VP and Yager's IM hockey game. Many of those people were equally as talented as MTU's varsity squad, and I do not mean that in a complimentary fashion, less the VP think I was being nice. Word to the wise: I AM NEVER NICE. Some of tUMD's fans were at the game, too, as they had nothing better to do. It was very enjoyable as we all sang the "$5 footlongs" song and made up cheers about our friends. I think the IM puck bunnies (sooo incredibly unnecessary) did not like us. It's okay, though. The VP went offsides and ruined everything at one point. Stick to VPing, VP.

I got in free to both games, Friday compliments of Le Russell, my secret boyfriend, and Saturday compliments of getting there so freaking early so I could stalk and the ROTC kids weren't there yet to guard the doors. You know, when I was in ROTC we did crap like that to make money for the battalion but I was stuck 1. covered in cold hot chocolate 2. hauling a giant thing of overpriced sodas through the upper deck of Memorial Stadium trying to hawk them to people who did not want them or 3. cleaning up soggy popcorn, mini-booze bottles, and nearly-liquid funnel cake the day after the Illini got their butts whipped by the rest of the Big 10. I think taking tickets would have been more fun and less freaking nasssty.

I am glad that we arrived as early as we did because later on tUMD started doing their little warmups and they were doing their plios/stretching EXACTLY WHERE I HAD WALKED IN A MERE 20 MINUTES PRIOR. And if I had walked into that I THINK I WOULD HAVE DIED. I commented on this, saying I would have wanted to RUN AWAY FAST like I did once when I told Justin Fontaine "Good game" at Blackwoods and then RAN AWAY before he could even answer (he said "Thanks" I think). MEg pointed out I'd look even more crazy if I did, and I said I wasn't planning on actually running away, just wishing I was going to run away. Fortunately that nightmare only happened in my head.

The game was even more fun somehow even though we "Tech lost." Sadly, the Tech students did not decide to show up to the game, but we were there to help by once again occupying their student section. tPBers came up with some GREAT chants and we had a lot of fun going back and forth with the Tech fans. I horribly embarrassed MEg because it was really quiet in the arena because they were having some sort of sportsmanship announcement from their captain and it was very poorly read, like a robot or something, and I was yelling about it. I know that I often say that I wish I was louder but in this case it was unnecessary because MEg told me that she happened to be focusing on one particular Tech player and the instant I opened my big fat mouth to bellow out "COULD YOU PLEASE ENUNCIATE?" he looked at me like my words were stabbing him in the eyes.

It was very hard to watch the game because of all of the goings-on. Tech jumped out to an early lead and then Gergy got a goal and I was so excited and happy. He seemed that way, too. We all chanted "Just like last night!" which was a great idea. It was incredibly strange because it was a PP goal and the assists went to Andrew Carroll and Nick Kemp, and they are not normally on the PP. But good job! Yeah! Between periods I followed MEg to the other side of the arena to climb up and meet Huskyfan. I needed some oxygen. I don't know why old people would want to sit so high up. I am young and I almost needed Boosh to carry me up. I don't know why I didn't think of that then. Then we went to the Blue Line club to meet MacDie and some lady started screaming that a Bulldog fan had entered as if I was carrying the bubonic plague or something. I mean, maybe I was, but still, calm down. It was 100 degrees in there. MacDie offered me some food but I declined (I DECLINED FOOD. IT'S SO UN-AMERICAN.) because of the death stares I was getting. I got a cup of water and even then people were all "Bitch get away from our jugs of wine." This provided an excellent distraction for Boosh to make off with half of their buffet.

The second period was good because Meyers got a goal and then Seth Soley breathed too close to Alex Stalock and he went down like he was Geoff Kinrade. Hee. (I am sorry Al but you know you totally flopped.) Akins went all Akins on Soley and Palm and Bunger bear-hugged for awhile so they all went to time out. It took a very long time to sort out the penalties and then there were net problems. I was nervous because we could not afford to get any DQs. I am always nervous at games, though. I think I was clutching Marty at one point. At the 2nd intermission tUMD fans put on a parade and marched through the arena to find the fan bus fans. They cheered when we came over and we cheered for them. Then we walked back through the concourse chanting "LET'S GO BULLDOGS!" and people stared.

The 3rd period sucked because Weird Derek Kitti scored the game-tying goal and I knew, I just KNEW, we were not going to score another goal. I should have worn a different jersey. Or something. Or maybe I should have sabotaged some of the guys. They (and their LLC) were in close proximity to me for much of the trip. And they didn't even know it. Muahahahaha. Overtime sucked too. We seriously almost lost the game like 600 times. Or once. I was sitting in a weird seat that was at the top of the stairs and so I had to hold onto the railing to keep from rocketing down the stairs. After the game ended we chanted "BEAT THE GOPHERS" and everyone stared at us like "What are Gophers?" Hello, we were trying to be nice.

After the game, things happened. The end.

The Numbers
Wins until we equal last season's total: Not even necessary!
Points until we equal last season's total: Eee!

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 31!
Jack Connolly: 22
Michael Gergen: 14!
Rob Bordson: 0

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 27!
Jack Connolly: 22
Scott Kishel: 2
Brady Lamb: 1
Travis Oleksuk: 1
David Grun: 0

On Notice
Rob Bordson
Andrew Carroll
Jay Cascalenda
Jack Connolly (whyyyyyyyy?)
Jordan Fulton
Kyle Schmidt
Alex Stalock

Goals Only
Matt Greer
Nick Kemp
Mike Montgomery
Trent Palm