And Out Of The Darkness, There Came A Light

RWD Favorite, Team Captain, and All-Around Awesome Person Matt McKnight is not going to be out for the whole season, as was feared before.

So, I meant to write this a long time ago... like, a few hours ago, but then I went to a movie, and I missed the showing I wanted to go to, and so I found myself leaving the theater and getting into traffic... um yeah. I'm just glad it was a 6:35 start. (Evidently, they don't do the :37 start.)

We need to win tonight. We WILL win tonight, because though it is not my birthday, it is the birthday of the RWD West Coast Correspondent, who is also the Real Life Mother of RWD and an A-Number-One Bulldog Fan Extraordinaire. Real Life Mother of RWD (from here on known as RLMORWD, which is a great vanity plate idea) has been a Bulldogs fan for many years now, and would really appreciate a Bulldog win. RLMORWD enjoys going to 'Dogs games, starting from her college years, sitting behind the penalty box enraging opposing players, up to recent years, sitting in the folding chairs pounding her feet on the wooden risers and making an embarrassing amount of noise. So please, get a win for her, because then I can call it a present.

Northern. Naturally.

Did you know that is the slogan on the Northern Michigan website? Well, no, you probably didn't. But now you do.

I would like to point out that the Bulldogs are also naturally northern, however, Marquette is beating Duluth in Northern-osity by about a quarter of a degree of latitude. (Marquette is at 46.543 degrees and Duluth is at 46.79 degrees) So, okay, I'll concede that. Not very important to the hockey, but still worth pointing out.

Now on to the hockey. I'm sorry, I just don't know much about the Wildcats. I have seen them play before, in previous WCHA Final Fours, but that was a long time ago. It was in the St. Paul Civic Center, for crying out loud. I think a little compare and contrast is in order.

Let's look at the results so far. Wildcats in green, 'Dogs in maroon. In case you're colorblind... just guess.
Record: 6-4-2 2-5-3
Conference Standing: 4-way tie for 4th All alone at the bottom
Against Canadian Universities: 5-2 win 8-1 awesomeness
Against UW-Madison: loss, tie tie, loss
Against Michigan Tech: 2 goals (1 loss, 1 win) 1 goal (1 tie, 1 loss)
Scoring Leader: Mike Santorelli (17 pts) Matt Niskanen (10 pts)
Power Play: 11.1% 22.4%
Penalty Kill: 87.0% 80.7% (seriously??? Whoa.)

Okay, this is a must win. Seriously. We are off this weekend, this is a non-conference game, we have got to still play strong. I know it's going to be hard, but if we have to stitch some people's arms back on and shoot them up with morphine for the pain, we've gotta do it. WE NEED TO PUT SOME WINS ON THE BOARD. OKAY? PLEASE?

I'm going to the Northern-UMD game in Duluth with a friend, but I'm going to be missing this one. I'll be sitting at home listening, of course, but it's just not the same. Please, a 4-2 win would be nice. Mike Curry needs to find his Michigan Magic. Michael Gergen needs to get his breezers in gear. Andrew Carroll needs to step up and lead, like his teammates believed he could do. And some freshman, I don't care who, needs to make a statement so we know what they're about.

C'mon 'Dogs... it's all about North Country Pride.

Timing Is Everything

I just found a Northern Michigan blog.

If You Take Only 2 Shots On Goal...

...you will not mount a comeback in the third period. Seriously, we are starting to play like the worst team in the league. Tech was a beatable opponent. They are better than they have been (and seriously, I want to see them do well, so people will stop acting like they don't belong in the WCHA), but we shouldn't be as bad as we were.

Let's take this Northern Michigan game and work out our scoring frustrations. Please.

Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 22
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 10

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 10
Michael Gergen: 4 (I just changed my desktop background to a sweet pic of him from last weekend)
Jason Garrison: 2 (Not playing!)
Matt McKnight: 2 (Injured, so sad)
Mike Curry: 0 (but definitely rocked a Techie in the 3rd)

Freshmen Competition: (the good news!)
Fulton: 6
Akins: 2!!!!!
Gorsalitz: 1!!!!!
M. Ryan: 1!!!!!
Stalock: 1
others: 0

Superb job, freshmen, in stepping it up where the others would not.
RWD out.

0

Unfortunately... we got shut out.

Fortunately... so did Tech.

But, um, yeah. 65 minutes of scoreless hockey may make Jacques Lemaire excited, but I don't think anyone else was excited. And 16 shots on goal??? CRASH THE NET!!!
We would have been taken out like the trash against a better team.

THANK YOU Alex Stalock for being "perfect" tonight.

ALSO Jeff McFarland, you are awesome. I am sorry that you got your goal waved off. I know you were opening the scoring floodgates, but then got screwed. You rock. And I know you'll get one tomorrow because I TOTALLY CALLED IT.

RWD would also like to give a shout out to The Beard, Anonymous Source Extraordinaire. But I would also like to mention to him that if he expects to find any love for the Gophers here (other than RWD Random Fave Blake Wheeler), he will be disappointed. Goes with the territory.

Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 22
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 10

My "Guys" Competition: (no need to update)
Matt Niskanen: 10
Michael Gergen: 4
Jason Garrison: 2
Matt McKnight: 2 (Injured!!! Not good!!!)
Mike Curry: 0

Freshmen Competition: (also no need to update)
Fulton: 6
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
others: 0

Falling Down On The Job

Well, in my haste to make my new The Gauntlet feature fabulous, I've forgotten one of the other regular features on this here site, and that's the weekly preview. Because, you know, I want my obligatory link from That Really Successful Blog, written by the Blogger Hottie of the Year 2006.

This weekend we're going to Michigan Tech. That means a lot of things:
1. This is a must-win series.
2. We need to start scoring more than 2 goals a game.
3. Mike Curry will rock your face off.
4. Games start at 6:00 PM RST (Runninwiththedogs Standard Time)
5. MEg will drink Ciskie under the table.
6. Bonus hockey on Wednesday, with the Turn Back The Clock series against NMU.

We've had a tough few weeks, but we've played some tough teams. This is a chance for us to see what we're made of against a team that hasn't actually won one of the last 5 national championships (whee!) It's time to throw some points on the board, 'Dogs, and get on a roll.

The Gauntlet: Nerd Edition

Oh yes, that's right. We're going to Michigan Tech this weekend, and if you go to Michigan Tech, you're a nerd by definition. This is okay for me to say, as I am a nerd as well.

RWD sent the message out early.
RWD: when are you going to accept my challenge? :::slaps MEg with a glove:::: I DEMAND SATISFACTION

But the interview didn't start until later.
RWD: Let's begin with what's on the front page of all the scandal sheets: your love affair with Casey Borer. How did this come about?

MEg: When St. Cloud came to Houghton last season one of the [MTU] Huskies got a breakaway. Everyone knew it was going to go in, including Captain Borer himself. He got himself "tangled up" away from play with one of the [MTU] Huskies and oops! Off goes his helmet, in goes the puck past Bobby. I had a feeling that we wouldn't get to keep that one. The captains skated over to the box, waiting for a decision on the goal. While they were standing there, I was so angry and I was screaming at Casey as loud as I could. Finally, he looked at me as I'm yelling at him and my face is getting all red. He watches me for a bit, then he winks at me. I instantly shut up. The ref came out of the box and called off the goal. The fans were angry, but I just stood there like, "He winked at me!" ... That was when I decided that this guy could be a lot of fun. Tomorrow's game, I would make a sign for him... something along the lines of "BORER WANTS ME." Sweet justice was served in that game, as we won in OT. The next night, I did exactly as I had planned. He saw [the sign] and smiled, shaking his head. During warm ups, I went to stand behind their net. He smiled everytime he skated by. He even blew me a kiss. I prayed and prayed that he'd get into the box. [The penalty box, sickos!] Finally, at 6:00 into the second period, my dreams came true. He skated slowly to the penalty box, and I was right beside it the whole time, holding my sign with the biggest grin ever. Once he sat down... it started.

The following is a dialogue between MEg and Casey Borer.
Me: Casey, I think you and I shared a moment over there.
Casey (as he's looking and smiling at me): No, I don't think we did.
Me: Casey, I think you and I have a future together!
Casey (still looking and smiling at me): No, I don't think we do.
Me: Casey! I think I LOVE YOU! I need to know... do you feel the same way about me?!
Casey (no longer looking, no longer smiling): Nope!
End dialogue.

MEg: And it went on and on for all two minutes of his penalty. When his penalty was over, I guarantee he was the HAPPIEST guy in the MacInnes. Tech lost that game 0-7, but it was the most fun I've ever had at a hockey game. Part 2 of the Casey Borer saga continued later that season in St. Cloud. I brought the sign with me, plus a new one for his girlfriend, which read, "CARLY, I'M STEALING YOUR MAN!" The third and final part of this saga will be on 1-2 December this year.

RWD: Wow. That's a whole new direction The Gauntlet could take. Actual players. But he's not even attractive... does he just have a certain je ne sais quoi?

MEg: I think he's pretty cute. Maybe his pictures don't do him justice. But he is definitely cute. However, cuteness has nothing to do with it, as my victim of Minnesota was Phil Kessel. It's just whoever gives me the attention. [Well now, that's just sad.]

RWD: I see. So we have a little self-esteem issue going on? You should wait for someone who values you as a person.

MEg: I think Casey does.

RWD: Well, I'm not a therapist. [translation: You are deluded, but I'm not going to pursue the matter.]

MEg: That's a good thing.

RWD: Whoa, whoa. Only I can make smart remarks. So was the Casey Borer Affair just a way to make Dirty jealous?

MEg: Yes, but don't tell anyone. Especially Dirty. He thinks I'm just doing it to be funny.

RWD: Don't worry. I will not tell anyone. And what about Eli? How does he fit into this sordid game?

MEg: Eli is an awesome guy with an awesome last name. My Eli craze is mostly because I'm one of 5 people who know how to pronounce his last name correctly. I could even do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back. [Whatever flaps your chaps, doll.]

RWD: How do you think Bruce Ciskie will do with that?

MEg: If he's nice to me, I'll help him before the game on Friday and teach him how to say it. But I think Ciskie's going to do like every other non-Tech radio announcer: SLAUGHTER it. Unless I save him, of course.

RWD: And in general, what is your opinion of Bruce Ciskie?

MEg: He's a big wuss. I'm pretty sure my mom could beat him up.

RWD: I see. Do you have a grudge against Bruce?

MEg: A little bit of one, yes. I was angry with him for wussing out the last time he came to Houghton. I told him to go to the bar with me afterward, then he started whining about being too tired. I'm not going to let him get away with it this year, and he's fully aware.

RWD: Bruce is not as young as he once was.

MEg: I also believe he was responsible for sending his crew down at the DECC last January to make me the "Fan in the Stands," to get back at me for those signs I made for him. [The signs said "My mom can beat up Bruce Ciskie.]

RWD: Didn't you get free stuff for being a Fan In The Stands?

MEg: If you count humilation free, yes. Otherwise, no. Was I supposed to?! I think I got screwed!

RWD: Yeah I thought you got a gift certificate for pizza. [Or possibly skate sharpening at Stewart's Bikes and Sports, 1502 E. Superior St. in Duluth.]

MEg: No! I didn't get anything! I'm gonna make Ciskie buy me a pizza when he comes to town this weekend. Ciskie, if you're reading this: Friday night at the Ambassador. And he thought he was going to get away with it!

RWD: So sneaky! :::consults notes::: okay, mocked MEg, took shots at Ciskie... How did you become a Tech fan in the first place? It's not like you are old enough to remember the "glory days."

MEg: I came here knowing that I would have to go to the hockey games. I'd never been to one in my life. The first games I saw my freshman year were against NMU. The first one there, we lost in OT due to being on the wrong side of a 5-on-3. But the atmosphere, the game itself.. all so awesome. The next game is why I am who I am today. It's why I'm president of the Misfits. It's why I go on lots of road trips. It's why I post on USCHO. It's why I write for the THB. [I think she means the Tech Hockey Blog.] It's why I'm being embarrassed in this interview right now. [Well, That was the amazing comeback game where Tech was down by 3 goals with 2:30 left in the game and we came back and won it in OT. Most AMAZING feeling I've ever had.

RWD: Lovely. So you were banned from tPenalty Box message board... what for?

MEg: I think it was an error on their part. Luckily I'm a very forgiving person. And if it wasn't that, it was likely because I went off on them because of the disrespect they showed during the Star Spangled Banner, which doesn't ever sit well with me. I think I was banned after two posts though, which if I'm not mistaken, is a record there.

RWD: Wow. So, what are we going to see this weekend?

MEg: Michigan Tech Huskies and the Minnesota-Duluth Bulldogs battling it out for four conference posts. I can't give you much more past that. I can guarantee you that Mitch's Misfits will be rocking the place, which is never a good thing for the opposition. Hopefully you'll be seeing some solid Tech goaltending and very few shots on goal for your team. It's really great to see that we have good defense this year, which is a new concept to me. And who knows which Husky lines will score? They've all been producing. It's very special to have a team of players who all work together and the talent is spread throughout. Much different from what I'm used to, where 1-3 players are the team.

RWD: Is your team ready for the offensive machine that is Mike Curry?

MEg: Yup. They're going to shut him down this weekend. Minus maybe 1-5 points that he may get.

RWD: And all within about a minute of each other.

MEg: If he only scores one goal, how can it be within a minute of itself?

RWD: More like 5. Or perhaps some points will be assists, to McFarland or Gorsalitz. [You heard it here first, people. McFarland's getting a goal this weekend!]

MEg: Nope.

RWD: You said 1-5 points yourself.

MEg: I was leaning toward one.

RWD: You'll be kicking yourself when it's 5.

MEg: So if it comes to be 5, I'm gonna have to hope for 6.

RWD: 6? I don't know if he has THAT many points in him... Oh, you were speaking of your own team.

MEg: No, actually I wasn't.

RWD: Well I guess you have to be realistic. [Please, tack on more! Why not 7 or 8?] Unlike certain fans from last weekend who predicted the 'Dogs would be blown out.

MEg: Stupid Adam. I was really pulling for you guys

RWD: I hope you filled in the mad libs with some good words.

MEg: Oh, I did.

RWD: Superb. How do you feel about the rest of the WCHA? Any teams you hate?

MEg: I've got a ridiculous amount of like for the rest of the WCHA. [She really said that. A ridiculous amount of like. My head is still spinning.] Anchorage is definitely my second favorite team. As a fan of a team that hasn't been doing so great in recent years, I know how they feel when they pull of a big win... or a win, period. My apologies in advance to DG and my favorite DU fans, but I have a softspot for CC. The colors, 1957, and such a small school for a DI hockey program. I think Tech relates to them a lot. As far as teams I hate... it's actually kind of hard when I have so many friends that are fans of the WCHA schools. Sometimes when I become good friends with other fans, their team doesn't bother me as much. UND is a perfect example of that. I really used to hate them (due largely to Greene, Blais, Bochenski, and Parise). I'm over all of that now. I also didn't used to like Mankato for one reason or another. But I've recently become good friends with one of their zamboni drivers. I'm pretty much alright with any WCHA team unless Tech is playing them that night. Though if I had to pick one team that I disliked the most... Gophers. (Probably more info than you wanted.)

RWD: This is an interview, not a memoir... So who's your favorite Husky right now?

MEg: Toss up between three: Mike Batovanja, Eli Vlaisavljevich, and Kevin Hachey.

RWD: And your favorite guy to ever put on the Husky uniform?

MEg: Gotta go with Conner. Pittis is a close second. Short people making noise on the ice is awesome.

RWD: I agree. My all-time fave is also very short.

MEg: I'm also really going to miss John Scott. He showed the greatest appreciation of all the Husky Hockey players to the fans, and especially the Misfits. He will be (and is) missed in the MacInnes.

RWD: And on the streets of Houghton.

MEg: Well, maybe not there.

RWD: Excellent. Prediction for this weekend?

MEg: I hate doing predictions because 1. I'm always wrong and 2. I hate being wrong. I'm just going to say split. UMD normally does really well in our building, but I don't want to let them get away with more than 2 points this weekend.

RWD: All right. So following that prediction, UMD will sweep.

As a post-script, I'd like to point out that MeanEgirl had a very real but very groundless fear of this interview. She was afraid it wouldn't be funny. Keep in mind, if it isn't, it's not my fault. Remember the policy I laid out in my interview with DG.

Dog Libs

A few days ago, I got a comment on this site that I nearly missed, but I thought it was good enough to share with the rest of you:

"I wrote a long comment and must have hit the wrong thing. Last thing I said was NO BAD WORDS after this weeks deal with the Guffers." That was from none other than Gramps, RWD correspondent for the Southeastern United States, and also real life grandfather of me.

Okay then. No bad words. So what we see here is that the only times it is appropriate to use bad words are:
1. When hunting for wild animals.
2. When the motor on your car/boat/jumbo jet is not working.
3. When someone accidentally sets off a fire extinguisher in your car.

I can work with that. But this weekend's been tough. I know everyone out there wants to use a few "magic words" after the Friday night fun. Fun is not actually the word I was looking for there, but I can't use that one, I guess. So, here's what we'll do. I'll write about the Friday hijinx, and leave some words out. You can fill in your own. It'll be fun, like mad libs! A game! Whee!!!

Friday night the UMD Bulldogs faced off against the (adjective) UMTC Gophers. The officiating in the game was (adjective), lead by referee Don Adam, who was (gerund) his (noun) instead of doing his job. Adam called a (adjective) check-from-behind major on Bulldog superstar Mason Raymond when the 'Dogs were already down a man. Then the 'Dogs managed to kill the first penalty, and score shorthanded. However, Don Adam, being such a (noun), decided to review the goal. After (number) minutes of (gerund), he decided to disallow the goal AND assess a too many men on the ice penalty, since his ARs had their (plural noun) up their (plural noun). I guess everyone in the WCHA just wants to (verb) Lucia's (noun). (Adjective)! Later in the game, with 5 minutes to go, Adam calls a check-from-behind major on Alex Goligoski, (who, by the way, isn't fit to (verb) Raymond's (noun)). The 'Dogs were buzzing, but with 12 seconds left, (adjective) captain Mike Vanelli decided to be a (noun) and knock the net loose on purpose. Adam, being the (noun) that he is, instead of awarding a penalty shot, took the faceoff OUT OF THE ZONE. (Verb) that (noun).

Okay, my job's done. Your turn!

*FYI, St. Cloud fans: A gerund is an "ing" verb.

Focusing On The Positives

...because that's what we do here. We're here to help, not hinder.

I can't say enough about Bryan McGregor. I am love, love, loving him this year. If he kept it up and had a monster Junior Lessard year, I wouldn't be opposed in the least. (We had a moment of reflection at my table at Senser's last night, as we all loved Junior. Who doesn't love Junior?) It seemed like McGregor was on the ice about 57 of the 65 minutes of the game, and he was crashing the net about half that time. My new friend, a Sioux fan who happens to be dating a prominent member of the media and a huge Gopher fan (a match made in heaven, no doubt), was very excited about Bryan as well. "Number 42! That's the guy who was denied last night!" she yelled. (On the shorthanded goal/too many men penalty ghetto debacle, she meant. Since he scored later, of course.) So, clearly, everyone is noticing Mr. McGregor.

So we lost. Got swept. Whatevs. We played hard, we didn't get embarrassed. No blow-outs. I don't know how much of the Gopher fan talk was just homer b.s. and how much was what they really believed, but they seemed to think the 'Dogs should just forfeit because we would be lucky to score, lucky to get away 10-0, etc. etc. Well, what really happened is, they were lucky to win. The 'Dogs could have just as easily won, if not for a few pipes, some horse-[feces] officiating, and a Gopher captain willing to win at any cost, if you know what I'm saying.

So, moving right along...

Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 23
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 10

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 10
Michael Gergen: 4
Jason Garrison: 2
Matt McKnight: 2
Mike Curry: 0 (Tech is up next, so you know what that means... Mike's gonna bring his guns to town.)

Freshmen Competition:
Fulton: 6
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
others: 0

It's Not Fair!

Seriously. How am I supposed to post when a.) I didn't watch the game and b.) I'm half in the bag?

And what a game to miss! Evidently there is much controversy. I guess it's better I DIDN'T watch.

I can't even imagine what is going on at the RWD Deer Camp up in Canyon, MN. OMG you don't even know, people. Hockey rage is hereditary. And THEY are all the way in the bag.

I can't... I just don't even know what to say here. Luckily, the Alleged Webmaster took notes for me. You know INCH's Found On A Cocktail Napkin? This is Found On The Back Of An Envelope:

MuSin RaYmin hock frim Bmita - Bud Call
Macgregon Sh gcul Breakaway to he
Assist Niskanen

Screwed!
Macgregor
A: Fulton
Bad - PS Perkunfmasn Stalock
sov-s
5-mpnn pp. for UND - Check From
Behind
PP G: Gergen
A McKnight, Fulton
Kanelli
Gopher hocks
vet offun purpuse
n/R sec

Umm... I guess that sums it up???

Anyway, I'll do the numbers I guess.

Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 23
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 10

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 9
Michael Gergen: 4
Jason Garrison: 2
Matt McKnight: 2
Mike Curry: 0 (Again, NO PENALTIES! Mike is on a streak!)

Freshmen Competition:
Fulton: 5 (w00t!)
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
others: 0

Tomorrow I will be watching the game at Joe Senser's in Bloomington. If I survive yet another long day on my feet.

Also, Faux Bobby Goepfert sucks and needs to stop spreading Gopher propaganda on my MySpace page.

The Gauntlet: Public Servant Edition

This week, RWD interviews the notorious Fire Helmet Guy, a Gopher Fan Extraordinaire, Real Life Fireman, and Duluth Bar Scene Superstar.

RWD: So, what's with the nickname?

FHG: Well, anyone who has been to a Gopher game knows. I wear a fire helmet painted maroon and gold. The helmet was kind of a rookie prank when I became a regular on the fire department. So I painted it up for Gopher games. Actually, if you scrape off the maroon and gold it's PINK underneath. LONG STORY. [ed. note: I disagree. It's probably a short story he doesn't want to tell.]

RWD: How did you become a Gopher fan?

FHG: Typical response, just grew up watching them. Did not actually go to my first Gopher game at Mariucci til I was about 21! But I was always a fan.

RWD: Interesting. So, I hear you are a closet UMD fan... how did that start? [I had this wonderful setup for this question and it didn't work, so this interview isn't actually as funny as it should have been.]

FHG: Well I do own a UMD Penalty Box shirt and one of the Boston Bar Tour shirts they had the year they went to the Frozen 4. It's just a little inside joke with some of the UMD people and some of my Gopher buddies. When you know guys like the Penalty Box guys you don't mind seeing the Bulldogs win... unless they are playing the Gophers! [Note: some penalty box members are actually not guys, I hear.]

RWD: And you have quite the love affair with the city of Duluth... what's your favorite place there?

FHG: Oh yeah, I love it up there. My favorite place would be, well let's think here, it's a tough one... The Sports Garden.

RWD: I never would have guessed. If you were to sum up the Sports Garden in one word, what would it be?

FHG: Drunkenstupidityatitsbest.

RWD: Not... EPIC????

FHG: Oh crap....mind block. That would work too. [I left this in, even though the joke didn't work. Yet another dud. Funny how I didn't have any last week...]

RWD: Okay, so you told me in the email this is your first interview. Does that mean Fox 9 has not gotten to you yet?

FHG: Not yet. But I could probably tell them some stories about hockey players at bars... but I'll leave it at that. Don't want to see any of the squad get in trouble. I think it was this same week last year when it started to boil over about the whole deal.

RWD: I will be turning over the transcript of this interview to the Investigative Team. So look out.

FHG: Crap. I'll be a marked man at Mariucci now. And now Bulldog fans will probably be buying me beers this weekend.

RWD: Yeah, that's no good, it's not like you blend into the crowd. But back to the Fox 9 question, what do you think really went wrong last year?

FHG: As far as what, the end of the season?

RWD: Yeah.

FHG: I honestly don't know. As most people have heard before, hockey is a funny game. I guess they may have peaked too early, just lost the heart at the end there. It's too bad too, you hate to see the team they had go out that way. But we've gotten over it... which is more then I can say for Sioux fans! lol

RWD: I personally own a Holy Cross game-worn jersey from the regional game, so it's not just Sioux fans...

FHG: WOW! OUCH.

RWD: It smells slightly of Gopher defeat.

FHG: Gopher defeat... I was thinking more along the lines of mustard gas... seeing it was at the Ralph.

RWD: Ooh, zing! I was at the 3rd place Final Five game and I couldn't believe it was the same team from the previous night. Do you think it was just fatigue?

FHG: I think that had to play a big factor in it. I mean to come from behind like that and then to lose a tough one in overtime I think it had to be somewhat of a factor. Even with the loss though, it was still a fun game to be at. The atmosphere was magical that night. [And there was a happy ending.]

RWD: No kidding. It was nuts. There were a lot of Gopher fans (clearly not you) cheering for St. Cloud over tUMD that Thursday. I bet they wish tUMD had won...

FHG: I don't know. As most WCHA fans know, any team can win on any given night. That's what makes the WCHA league so fun to cheer for. I guess I really hadn't noticed, I was hoping to see UMD win that one... shocking I'm sure. lol

RWD: I noticed, probably because I nearly fell out of my suite screaming at a Gopher fan.

FHG: Yeah, it seem there are very few liked Gopher fans out there. [This person in particular was totally unlikeable.]

RWD: Very few liked Yankee fans out there, too. But who is your most hated opponent?

FHG: UND, without a doubt. It used to be UMD the first couple years but UND is by far my most hated opponent. Just going up to the Nazi Bunker, they think our fans are obnoxious and annoying, they need to look in the mirror. But you can't deny the rivalry, as far as hockey I think UND is the biggest rival for the Gophers.

RWD: You hated tUMD? Alert the presses!

FHG: The first couple years I went up there it got pretty intimidating, but it's gotten a lot more mellow the last few years up there.

RWD: There is a lot of debate over who the "biggest rival" is for Gopher hockey. I would say it comes down to UND and the Red Menace, and I think you could make an argument either way. Personally, I've always thought it was Wisconsin, because the rivalry expands beyond hockey, but if we lived in a hockey-only microcosm, I'd say UND.

FHG: UND NO DOUBT. Sconnie is the rival in the big picture of Gopher sports but as far as hockey goes, it's UND. Just my opinion though.

RWD: I see we are on the same page here. I guess it's either Fascists or Communists, and in the end, they're both the same...

FHG: Pretty much. WOW, A Gopher fan and Bulldog fan agreeing on something. The end is near!

RWD: Oh man, I better ask a tough one now, I can't have that last. Who will we see in goal this weekend: Long Island Frazee or Kellen Smorgasbriggs?

FHG: Both. Kellen "Pay Your Tab" Briggs on Friday and Jeff "Pour Another" on Saturday. I think they will split until at least mid-January. [FYI: That's when the games start to actually "count."]

RWD: Have you, as a hockey fan, accepted more than $100 in free food and drinks from hockey boosters?

FHG: Heck no, I WISH! It gets spendy to drink down by the "U".

RWD: I have accepted many free drinks from hockey fans, based both on my witty repartee and my attractiveness.

FHG: NICE! You gotta go with what works. That's what I always say. God, is it Wednesday yet?

RWD: I had to say that, because in my last interview I said I was fat for comedic effect, when in fact I am not. But on that note, for my female readers (all 2 of them), is there a Mrs. FHG?

FHG: Oh god no! Why end a great life by getting married. I'd rather run into fires all day and night non-stop and burn alive than fall into that trap. Maybe a little too descriptive, huh?

RWD: Well, there's always the 'Toga.

FHG: That's what I always say.

RWD: Who would you say is the most attractive player on your current squad?

FHG: I haven't looked at them that close to even be able to tell.

RWD: I personally like Blake Wheeler.

FHG: Um, I'll go ahead and agree so we can move on from this very uncomfortable question. lol

RWD: Not yet, buddy. Suggest an alternate hairstyle for tDon.

FHG: The Don's hair is the 8th wonder of the world. It's a masterpiece.

RWD: I notice it is not hereditary. Do you think Tony Lucia was brought on the team as a spy?

FHG: Could be. I was kind of surprised he made the team, but he has been doing o.k. so far. He is a physical player that the Gophers can really use. And I'm sure he can drink with the best of them.

RWD: He is probably drinking seltzer water while wearing an oversized cowboy hat with a camera in it.

FHG: Well, they never did show the camera person last year for the Fox 9 report!

RWD: Speaking of physical players, and also players RWD likes, is Wheeler improving this year?

FHG: Well I don't think he can be any worse. He has been pretty impressive so far. I compare him with Barry Tallackson from a couple years ago, all that size and he didn't put it to good use. Wheeler could be a little more physical in his game. But if he keeps scoring some goals I can deal with it.

RWD: God don't say that. I hate Barry.

FHG: Yeah, I'm not real dissapointed he's gone. But he always did seem to come alive in the post-season it seemed like... so at least he played when it mattered most I guess.

RWD: Who's your favorite player? On this squad, and all-time.

FHG: On this squad right now, Jay Barriball. The kid is a STUD for being so small, he's not afraid to grind it up with anyone, plus I share his jersey # so there is some camaraderie there. Of all time... wow, thats tough. I would have to say Grant Potulny. He had such great leadership on and off the ice. And for him to overcome all the hype for being one of the first out-of-staters for the Gophers. He was awesome!!!

RWD: I notice you would not comment earlier about hottness but then you called Barriball a stud... interesting.

FHG: He's a stud on the ice.

RWD: More favorites: who is your favorite broadcaster for the Gophers (radio or TV)?

FHG: Doug Woog. I love the "Woogerisms" as we call them. For radio Glen Sonmor is a class act as well. Who could forget his "take that you stinkin' Badgers" quote from last year? I'll add my least favorite, and that would be Reed Larson from a couple years ago, because he ripped on the fire helmet.

RWD: Wow, that's tough. Singled out on the airwaves!

FHG: You damn right! And who could forget when Wooger called DHG "Tubby" on the PA and Dubay show last year?! CLASSIC Bulldog vs. Gopher moment.

RWD: Explain what is wrong with Woog when he is not speaking on camera. He stands there stunned, like a deer in headlights. Is he a.) drunk b.) high or c.) both?

FHG: I would have to say d.) Hungover still!

RWD: Even on Friday nights?

FHG: You never know. Thats what makes those guys so fun to listen to.

RWD: Let's have a prediction for this weekend.

FHG: Oh boy. There is one big factor that weighs heavy on me for this weekend... NO MORE ISAAC. I think the chances of a Gopher sweep are very good. BUT with that said, they do always have a hard time at the DECC with the small ice.

RWD: What's going to win these games for you guys? What will lose it?

FHG: If the "D" takes a weekend vacation they will lose, they need to play the Dogs strong on their home ice. This freshmen class of sharpshooters will be what wins it. Okposo and Barriball are scoring machines right now.

RWD: All right. I'll forward that to the coach... And the K is really silent in Okposo?

FHG: If Barriball gets a hat trick on Saturday, the helmet may be thrown over the glass onto the ice!!!! Yes, the K is silent. Glad to see that rumor is getting around.

RWD: That's a pretty big if there. You better hope your team scores 3 goals the whole weekend.

FHG: Oh I think they will. Sounds like Stalock needs to learn how to stay in his net a little more.

RWD: Sorry. I have trouble with the trash-talking. Yes, that would be true. But all the great ones play the puck.

FHG: It always seems like Bulldog goalies stand on their head when the Gophers come to town, so really anything can happen. Like my buddy says, these are two teams that don't like each other, you can throw the record books out the window. Or something like that.

RWD: Well, I think that about wraps things up. I hope the arena doesn't fall on your head this weekend.

FHG: Oh well, if it does, what a place to die... up in my favorite city.

RWD: With 5493 of your closest enemies. [Assuming a sell-out crowd.]

Anyone who wants to party with FHG will find him at either the Sports Garden or Club Saratoga, starting on Wednesday.

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

So... not the best way to end the weekend. Seriously, I can't have a birthday every day! Someone else needs to step up and proclaim it is their birthday. (That someone could have been Nate Ziegelmann, but I guess not...)

Key injuries to MacGregor Sharp and Nick Kemp, and a not-so-key injury to Josh Johnson, may have hurt us tonight offensively, but I thought we'd have a chance with Mannino in net, since consensus had Fisher as DU's top goalie. But, it was not to be.

FYI, I may have to bring the Hater Report back for Rhett Rakhshani.

I hope I never see Bill Mason again.

Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 23
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 10
(both holding steady until we sweep next weekend)

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 9
Michael Gergen: 3
Jason Garrison: 2
Matt McKnight: 1
Mike Curry: 0 (No penalties! Excellent physical play! Superb!)

Freshmen Competition:
Fulton: 3
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
others: 0
Mitch Ryan and Trent Palm got in their first official games tonight. Fulton did get a point, so the freshmen are on the board!

Whoever Has The Goals Makes The Rules

Last night, The Aaaalleged Webmaster noted that perhaps Jason Garrison was lobbying to be one of my "guys" with his game-winning goal.

That goal meant a whole lot more than just a win.


from umdbulldogs.com

You, Jason Garrison, Denver Nemesis, Sniper, King Amongst Men, are now officially one of my "guys."

My Guys Competition now stands:
Niskanen 7
Gergen 3
Garrison 2
McKnight 1
Curry x

This is totally legal, BTW. Not that anyone would challenge, since no one cares.

SWEEP TONIGHT! GO 'DOGS!

The Gifts of the Magi

'Dogs 2, Pioneers 1

What could be better than a Bulldogs win on this, the holiest of days?

Well, the Wild won, too. So that was cool. AND I didn't have to work. AND DA gave me 'Dogs tickets for my b-day. AND I am getting my Medieval Laptop upgraded. AND other things happened.

Hello, WE NEED A NEW ARENA. IT IS FALLING APART. HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP.

Anyway, the Four Wise Men, Michael Gergen, Andrew Carroll, Ryan Geris, and Jason Garrison combined to give me this wonderful gift of a win. Also, Bruce asked my question on the air, wished me a Happy Birthday, and called the Gophers dirty. Why is no one else emailing the booth? It is so entertaining!

Numbers

Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 23
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 10 (Did I not predict, first conference win on my bday?!)

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 7
Michael Gergen: 3 (Superb, on the PP!)
Matt McKnight: 1
Mike Curry: 0 (But! No Penalties!)

Freshmen Competition:
Fulton: 2
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
et al.: 0

Come on, Freshmen, get in the game!!! (Although there were some good chances for you guys tonight, so it's not like you are slacking.)

Very cool. See you all tomorrow!
RWD out.

Joyeux Anniversaire!

Bonjour, mes camarades!

That's "Hello, my comrades!" in case you don't know. I'm trying to reach out to mes fanatiques francophones, and also annoy Donald/Drop the Puck at the same time. It's called multi-tasking. Try it.

Anyway, TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY.

I WANT A WIN.
PREFERRABLY A SWEEP, SINCE WE ARE AT HOME.
Also, tomorrow is Ziggy's birthday, and I am sure he would like a win, too.

The key to this win?
It's in the numbers (as are many things on this site. RWD is an engineer.)
RWD is going to be 24. Yes, as in, hours in the day. Or a show I don't watch but others like that stars Kiefer Sutherland. Or Logan Gorsalitz's number.
And that brings me to the key: put The Kid in! I see him getting 2 goals and 4 points (the others will be assists on Curry goals) and we will win 24 - 0.

On second thought, take that last part out. Let's not go overboard. Denver will lose 2-7.

And no, nobody's parents asked me to post this. All they did was come up with the nickname.

Also, Chris, this + the LGDU interview is as close to a game preview as I will get.

The Gauntlet: Denver Edition

In this new feature of the RWD media conglomerate, the lovely mastermind behind the site throws down the gauntlet to various bloggers, hockey enthusiasts, and trolls under bridges. The first interview is with the genius behind the Let's Go DU web empire, and as for which category he fits into, that's for you to decipher. You have never seen more ellipses in your life.

RWD: So, how did you get started as a DU fan?

DG: I was a student in the Mid-Eighties went to a few games... yada, yada, yada... I ended up in charge of the DU Student Section called the Bleacher Creatures.

RWD: So it wasn't when you got your rejection letter from CC?

DG: Hmmm... this is going to be a Mike Wallace 60 Minutes-style ambush interview... I like it.

RWD: What else would you expect from a crack reporter like me?

DG: A few softballs to start... kind of like what I lob to Gwoz to keep on his good side.

RWD: Oh, so you and Curious George are buddies?

DG: He knows me. I don't have a firm grip on what he thinks of me, but I suspect he thinks I'm insane.

RWD: Does he know you simply because you are the guy that wears the toga?

DG: Yeah. I think he's still mad at me because I became as famous as him after he did all the work to win the championships, and I gravy trained off of his success

RWD: I noticed that he's often trying to compete with your success. Especially that time he climbed on the top of the boards. Do you think he feels threatened by you?

DG: He said he won't climb the boards again. I think he'd like me to go away, because I bring down the average IQ of the DU Alumni base.

RWD: But coming back to the toga... how did that start?

DG: Myself and two friends from Houston were going to a toga party at Tufts University after the National Championship game in Boston. There wasn't time to go home and change. True story...

RWD: So... you started this in 2004? Not in college?

DG: The togas were in 2004. The crazy [feces] happened in 1985-87.

RWD: Right, I was referring specifically to the togas. That explains a lot. What's the proper way to wear a toga? Is it like a kilt, with nothing underneath?

DG: A lot and I mean a lot of safety pins. It doesn't matter if you wear underwear, it’s going to be embarrassing if anything falls off in front of 10-20,000 people. [ed. note: I disagree, I think things would be much worse if your toga fell off and there was nothing underneath.]

RWD: Is it a little chilly at a hockey game? With the toga on, I mean

DG: If you are properly fueled that’s not an issue...

RWD: Indeed. So you started Let's Go DU a bit over a year ago... why?

DG: Good question. Finally a softball. A friend & I had prepared a 20 page report on improving school spirit at DU and I wanted to put it on the internet so that people at DU would see it. Somehow I ended up with a blog.

RWD: Are you some sort of alumni superstar? Or did you write this 20 page paper because DU discovered you had skipped your final in freshman English?

DG: My attorney said that I shouldn't answer any questions about my academic background on the grounds that I might incriminate myself. I was a terrible student and English was my worst and least favorite subject.

RWD: I guess that goes to show anyone can have a blog... So you weren't inspired to start a blog by, say... other blogs? [i.e. Runnin' With The Dogs.]

DG: I never saw a blog until the day I started mine. A DU fan had one, I saw it figured I could stick the report on it and then never see it again. Like many things in my life. I WAS WRONG.

RWD: So this report took on a life of its own?

DG: No the Blog did. The Report has died a thousand deaths, but like me it never gives up...

RWD: Oh. How Frankenstein-y. So what would you say the Let's Go DU Mission Statement is?

DG: To make people laugh, to provide an outlet for people who are proud of DU, and to spotlight our hockey program in a unique manner.

RWD: Wow, it's almost like you saw that one coming. Now the empire is growing, with a message board and a website. How is the website going to differ from the blog?

DG: The website is off to a really strong start. CO14ers has lined up writers[. It] is going to cover different sports, and hopefully bring a wider, younger, hipper audience than the blog.

RWD: I am young, hip, and wide, so I don't know what you're talking about. [I said this for comic effect, I am not actually fat. Or cool.] As far as the blog, are you the sole mastermind behind it?

DG: I have a lot of help. Many of the DU posters provide me with info, ideas and feedback. If the blog sucks it’s their fault. If it’s great it’s all my work.

RWD: I like the concept. I too blame lackeys for anything that goes wrong.

DG: It’s the only way.

RWD: I noticed that there seems to be a lot more "filler" on your site, and by "filler" I mean actual true stories from reputable sources. What's the deal there?

DG: I think that’s part of the joke of the site. Anything to do with DU is serious, thought provoking, informative. Anything that refers to another team is a lampoon.

RWD: I would counter that the articles that actually provoke thoughts from me are usually the lampoons. What would you say to the rumor floating around the college hockey world that you have no life?

DG: I do all my work on the blog at work. The blog doesn't affect my drinking, travel schedule, or partying.

RWD: I see. And for the ladies that might accidentally stumble across this interview, is there a Mrs. DG?

DG: No. Would you want to marry someone who has a blog called LetsGodU? It sounds like a boring religious site.

RWD: Touché. Would you ever date someone that went to CC?

DG: Absolutely not. I'm against mixed marriage. Besides I couldn't marry someone who was smarter than me. That’s why I like North Dakota girls.

RWD: I hear there's a pretty one behind every tree.

DG: Touché.

RWD: Hey, who's making the sarcastic comments here, you or me?

DG: [You].

RWD: Right. Why exactly does CC suck so badly?

DG: They have the typical small town, inferiority complex on steroids thing going. [This answer was actually sort of disappointing, I was hoping for more of a tirade, but this is journalism, not sensationalism.]

RWD: Do they reciprocate your feelings?

DG: I wouldn't know, I've never spoken to a CC "person."

RWD: I met some CC moms at the 2005 Frozen Four and they were pretty good-looking, and also drunk. You might be more similar than you think.

DG: The good looking or the drunk part?

RWD: I meant the collective "you" not you specifically. But either or. Granted I've never actually seen you in person.

DG: I'm not as good looking or as drunk as you think. It’s all an act to get more blog hits. [Note that I never actually said I thought he was good-looking.]

RWD: I'll have to get my fact-checker to ask Puck Swami for confirmation.

DG: Don't believe a word that weasel says...

RWD: Well, let's switch gears here a little and talk about this weekend. What sort of booze will you be drowning your sorrows in after you are swept?

DG: I only drink before victories never after losses. I believe the drinks this Friday will be Zombies...

RWD: You will not win on Friday, as I already stated [in our email correspondence], but moving on, what are we going to see out of Denver this weekend?

DG: You are going to see three unbelievable freshmen forwards: Trotter, Rakhshani & Ruegsegger. Also keep an eye on Gifford... He was my sleeper pick opening weekend, and now he’s on the first line.

RWD: Yes, Tyler is unbelievable looking, but I didn't think Rakhshani was hott. He almost made the Uggo list, and there was some lobbying to have him on there. But who would you nominate for the All Hottie Team from the Pioneers?

DG: Mrs. Gwozdecky

RWD: Is she a walk-on?

DG: Full scholarship all the way. It’s also rumored that she picks the line-ups and tells Gwoz what to wear.

RWD: Well isn't that what all coaches' wives do?

DG: Well she's won two Penrose awards, twice was runner-up, and won two National Championships... Obviously she’s smarter than the other wives.

RWD: I guess the other wives should start shopping wherever she shops. So, what do you expect from the Bulldogs this weekend?

DG: I hope it’s not the same bunch of clowns that kicked our [badonkadonks] in the playoffs last season. I hope DU doesn't let UMD get off to a fast start on Friday.

RWD: Actually, it essentially is the same bunch of clowns.

DG: That’s what I was afraid of. We need to keep your sophomores under wraps.

RWD: We need to keep them, too. For the full four years.

DG: 4 more years. Sounds like a political rally. Good luck with that.

RWD: I don't think they have 4 more years of eligibility. [We can only dream.] So, to wrap things up, let's have a weekend prediction.

DG: Same as always. DU sweeps. Good luck to UMD this weekend and the rest of the season. Tell the Minnesota Legislature to get their [badonkadonks] in gear and pass the DECC renovation. GO DU. Thanks for "interviewing me," feel free to edit anything to make me look like a sexist, racist, egotistical bigot...

RWD: I don't think I need to edit it to give it that sort of slant. I can read between the lines.

DG: Agreed.

RWD: Well, have a good night.

Well, I think this feature is going to become one of the best ones over here at RWD. I think this interview went well overall, especially considering I didn't have many questions prepared.

In the future? Ask not at whom the gauntlet is thrown, it is thrown at thee.

Where's MY Frozen Custard?

5-2 Wisconsin.

Sometimes, good things happen to bad commies. (Well, that's redundant.)

I'm good to go, though. We're better than I thought. And that's cool. I guess tonight's game got away from us a little. Bruce was apoplectic on the air over some non-calls, but I can't comment as I didn't see. And it can't be all about the officiating. I did NOT appreciate the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty from Alex Stalock, especially after I received the official explanation. THAT was not an officiating screw-up. THAT is going to get you thrown in The Humane Society of the WCHA! Alex is the first resident of the year! That is not good! Why so many exclamation points!?

Things were looking good for us when we struck first. And things were still looking good when we tied it up 2-2. And then they just looked... well, if I were to place the rest of the game on a The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly post, it would be in bold on the Uggo list.

It did sound like we were doing some good things. Lots of blocked shots. The 4th line sounded better than it has all year. I didn't hear too many scrambles around the Bulldog net.

Why dwell on the negative? We didn't get swept. We put up a darn good fight on the road, in a tough building. That place is INTIMIDATING, the way I imagine the Kremlin is. On the plus side, I've never had so many people pissed off at me since I wrote a controversial Letter to the Editor to the Daily Illini! I am rivalling Donald The Puck! And all with a little satire! The Animal Farm post is evidently the Dumbest Blog Post Ever. I find that hard to believe. I've certainly written worse things about Wisconsin previously, but I am always proud to reach a new low.

Numbers
Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 25 (no change)
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 11 (first conference win will come on my birthday: you heard it here first!)

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 7
Michael Gergen: 2 (Yes! I'm not a curse!)
Matt McKnight: 1 (Also not cursed by me!)
Mike Curry: 0 (I should seriously consider giving Mike 1/8 point for every game he does not have a charging or an elbowing penalty, and 1/4 point for every game he does not take a penalty at all. But I do think the physicality he brings to the game is something we've been lacking. He just needs to take it down a notch at times. He did have a pretty good night tonight, it sounds like!)

That Gergen-McKnight-Carroll line is going to be un-be-freaking-lievable. I can't even wait.

Freshmen Competition:
Fulton: 2
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
et al.: 0

Not a lot of freshmen action tonight... but many of them were not playing. Maybe next weekend?

So, on the plus side, two more of my "guys" got on the board. VERY SWEET. It's only a matter of time before Curry gets on there... when's the next time we play Michigan Tech?

Potential Awesomeness upcoming for the Denver series. Watch for it here! (On the site in general. Not in this very spot.)

Exclamation Point Count: 12! 13.

Hail Communist Overlords!

Hello all you Bucky fans coming over here to check out the site. Hope you brought your sense of humor!

Tonight's game ended in a tie, which is pretty sweet for us, considering I'm pretty sure the Red Army thought we'd be a joke. It's tough to win a Saturday game on the road, but I think we're in a pretty good position to steal another point or two.

Sadly, our totalitarian domination on the power play wasn't so hot tonight, although we did get one power play goal tonight. AND NO SHORTHANDED GOALS. That's key. We were also the only team to score at even strength. Let's not discuss the PK. Or the fact we kept negating our power plays.

Bruce Ciskie's Stars of the Game:
#3 Andrew Joudrey
#2 Mason Raymond
#1 Alex Stalock (but I've heard "Shot Save Puck Still Loose" FAR TOO OFTEN, homeslice!)

I like announcers that give both teams stars of the game... unlike certain announcers in the Twin Cities Metro Area.

Now, for the Numbers:

Points Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: 25
Wins Until We Surpass Last Year's Total: still hangin' on at 11

My "Guys" Competition:
Matt Niskanen: 7
Etc.: 0

Freshmen Competition:
Fulton: 2
Akins: 1
Stalock: 1
And The Rest: 0

I want to see some freshmen on the scoreboard tomorrow for the 'Dogs! I also hope to see Logan Gorsalitz on the Curry line for the 'Dogs tomorrow.

And as for my "guys," you're letting Nisky run away with the field! Let's step it up! And hey, that goes for the rest of you. You don't have to be one of my "guys" to be a rock star. In the grand scheme of things, you're all my "guys".

Beat the Red Menace!

Thank you tUMD Penalty Box/tBeersong for the image.