A Burden In My Hand and An Anchor On My Heart

I love Soundgarden. Grunge is one of the best genres of music ever.



I've made no secret about how much I dislike tUMD being #1 in the polls. I know it doesn't matter, it doesn't mean anything, it's just, like, someone's opinion, man. But it's just a ginormous target and an extremely weighty expectation.

Last time tUMD was ranked #1 in the polls was my first season writing RWD. The subsequent disastrous weekend contest against Vermont, which resulted in a loss and a tie, precipitated the complete abomination of a season. And I'm being polite there.

Now, would they have had the same terrible season without that #1 ranking? Uh, yeah. There were a lot of problems with that team. And yes, I know, these aren't the same guys. Most of them don't even know the guys on that team. Except for Justin Faulk, who is Marco Peluso's cousin. Oh Marco, what could have been. (Okay, upon further inspection, maybe there was more overlap than I thought.) But until this weekend is over I'm just going to sit here and freak out about that #1 ranking.

I prefer my teams to fly under the radar. Then they get overlooked, and pounce while their opponents are caught napping. Other teams champ at the bit to knock off #1 teams. Last weekend, #1 BU played Merrimack, a useless school I find interchangeable with Mercyhurst. If not for the Chris Connolly Come From Behind Special, BU would have made out with one sad little point. Instead they got two sad little points. Wisconsin is almost, but not quite as pathetic as Merrimack, and I'm nervous we'll come out of there with a big fat zippity-zero.

So the #1 ranking is great for recruiting, as DHG and Ciskie said, and it's nice to see their hard work and great success get rewarded. I don't want this ranking to end up the albatross around their necks. Let's hope these young gentlemen don't take their focus off the REAL issue: WINNING.

Beautiful Loser

tUMD 3, Lucky Stiffs 5

Ode to MacGregor Sharp
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee for the first and second and third
Goals you scored, when feeling out of the game
When down 2-nothing early in the second.
I love thee for the level of every game's
Most stellar play, by Friday and Saturday night.
I love thee freely, as you strive for goals;
I love thee purely, as you turn back opponents.
I love with a passion put to use
In my creepy blogs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
The past seasons, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if hockey gods choose,
I shall but love thee better after sweeping UAA.
(because I am not Bobby Goepfert, the original)

I don't know which is creepier: that poem, or my Star Wars birthday post. Let's see ask the folks at home!



Okay, now I can commence recapping. Maybe. I'm not sure.

All day in class yesterday I was stressing so much. I was feeling really good about how the Bulldogs played on Friday and how they are usually even better on Saturdays, but I'm always nervous. It's kind of the same way I'm always nervous when I come up to bat in softball; there's a limited number of at-bats, and I don't want to waste one with a strikeout. And, more often than not, I do, but whatever. There were only 39 guaranteed games this season (including Lakehead), and that is not a lot of games. I need to see wins, yo!

We actually arrived at the game on time AND I convinced MEg to wear one of my tUMD jerseys, and then I gave my mom one of my other ones, so we all had tUMD gear. I had some pre-game socializing duties to attend to, as I had to find FHG and the Ciskies. I didn't find The Beard, but he even admitted he was probably swilling lukewarm domestic beer from a plastic cup. UNSURPRISING, I should say.

I managed to meet up with some other tPBers and we decided to snag seats in the student section. I am a cougar, and yet I've sat in various student sections for 4 of the 5 games I have most recently attended. I guess it is probably convenient when cougaring to sit in the student section. It's like camouflage for the hunt. We had a pretty good group of folks together ready to be loud and proud for our boys.

And then the game started, and the first period was uggggggggggggggggggh as Ryan "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?" Stoa (AS IF HE WOULD STAY, FOR REALS PEOPLE) scored 5 minutes into the game. Akins went all Akins on Ryan Flynn later in the period. MEg was wondering if we should go talk to him, but I pointed out we'd probably get over there just as the penalty was ending. One of the characteristics I love most about Akes is his ability to GET OVER IT ALREADY after he mixes it up with a guy. ZACH JONES, TAKE NOTES. Or don't, and continue your craziness if tUMD and UND ever meet up. tUMD then had to kill 2 penalties with a very short interval between, and then failed to convert on their own PP.

During the first period, 2 weird things happened in the stands. First of all, some moron a section over started hassling us. No one in our group is one to back down from a heckler, especially if 1.) the heckler(s) is(are) funny or 2.) they are embarrassing themselves and we can embarrass them further. Biddco was all over this guy, practicing his newfound skill of "projecting from his diaphragm" rather than "screaming like an anorexic dog." This upstanding young man made some dumb comments about tUMD that Biddco quickly rebuffed with "It's the same system," to which I added "It's the same name on the diploma!" This guy also had on NO gopher colors at all. He was wearing a gray and black t-shirt which prompted a short "Let's go Raiders!" chant which was genius. He didn't have any interest in the hockey game, just in us, because we are so awesome. Also, a weird person wearing neon green spandex over his entire body arrived midway through the period for no reason. He brought us peace and love, I think. Like Urkel. He disappeared after the first period, ostensibly because he had gotten enough attention, was too much of a pansy to stick it out for the whole game, or had suffocated and died.

The second period got way worse. Justin Bostrom scored, assisted by Benedict Arnold Cade Fairchild and a hobo off the street. (Seriously, who is Joe Miller? I have never heard of him. And probably never will again.) I was very, very, very, very very verybv eyrfeveyreyrawe stressed. It was not good. Then Aaron Ness (who is interchangeable with Aaron Marvin to me) cheated, and our power play came out locked and loaded and MacGregor Sharp put in the only power play goal of the weekend. Some other things occurred and 1:21 later, the Sharpshooter had another kill shot. And we were back in it! So much that we started chanting "We're back in it! [clap clap clapclapclap]" tUMD had 2 additional power plays in the 2nd, and I yelled "COME ON MACGREGOR!!! I WANT A HAT TRICK!!!" Hmm... interesting.

He must have heard me. 6 minutes into the 3rd, MacGregor put another round through the heart of Captain Kangaroo for a NATURAL HAT TRICK, the first hat trick since MARCO PELUSO, and also his 17th goal of the year. THAT EQUALLED HIS TEAM-LEADING POINT TOTAL FROM LAST YEAR. Can anyone say Most Improved MVP Amazing Awesome Genius Scorer???? More importantly, would anyone other than me use that terminology? Sadly, only one hat made it onto the ice. I KNOW there were more people close to the ice who were wearing hats, BRUCE CISKIE. We were so gleeful and had many chants, including "We Miss Frazee," followed by "You Miss Frazee!"

Our glee did not last long, as the backcheck breakdown allowed T-Lu to score as no one decided to cover the pass. Then Nico "I Wish I Was As Cool As Nisky" Sacchetti scored the game winner on an apparent call from Doug Woog (what?). Somehow the Gopher fans remembered they were at a hockey game, and the 3 wastes of skin in front of us decided to stand, after sitting for the whole game prior to that point. Ok, it's the student section, I know, but we were sitting there when they came in (somewhere during the second period before tUMD scored) and they were sitting for most of the game, so it was extremely lame of them to keep standing. I expressed this by cheering for the Bulldogs by SCREAMING IN THEIR EARS. Yes, it was very low-class and unsportsmanlike of me to do that, but I don't even care. They weren't wearing Gopher gear, were texting for a lot of the game, and didn't even know how to do any of the cheers. Don't freaking stand in front of me if you don't even care about the game. I hope you morons are deaf. The game pretty much fell apart after that, although there was some hope when the Gophers put a puck in the net with a high stick and the play was reviewed and correctly overturned after Meyers took an elbowing penalty that morons who couldn't even see the play thought would be a 5 minute major (like the idiots in front of us. I asked them if they even know what they were doing or why they were doing it, and if they knew no one was going to high five them) so we had to PK for awhile, then they pulled Al and Mike "I'm A Spoiled Brat From A Gated Community Of Snobs" Hoeffel got an empty net goal and it was all over.

Things can still go tUMD's way. They really can. I'll break that down later, but this is long enough already.

The Numbers
Wins until we equal last season's total: -1
Points until we equal last season's total: -4

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 35! (jDJKOEhsf9aw4th08a!!!)
Jack Connolly: 22
Michael Gergen: 14
Rob Bordson: 0

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 29! (Pulling away with the competition!)
Jack Connolly: 22
Scott Kishel: 2
Brady Lamb: 1
Travis Oleksuk: 1
David Grun: 0

On Notice (TOO MANY PEOPLE! Hopefully rectified this weekend!)
Rob Bordson
Andrew Carroll
Jay Cascalenda
Jack Connolly
Cody Danberg
Jordan Fulton
Mike Montgomery
Kyle Schmidt
Alex Stalock

Goals Only
Drew Akins
Mike Connolly
Evan Oberg
Trent Palm

H J E Double-Hockey-Sticks E

tUMD 4, Drunken Crazy Lady's Favorite Team 2

All right. I think over the 4+ years that I've written RWD, I've established myself fairly solidly as a creepy creeper. So, that probably means it was a bad thing for me to sit in the primo seats for creeping: right behind the bench. Not a great idea for my whole anonymity plan. Well, posting crazy pictures of myself on RWD is probably also a poor idea. But whatever. I have friends in low places, and got the hook up with some of the greatest seats in the house. DA sent me a text asking if I could see the game. I said "I can smell it." Yes. Anyway, I took some creeper picks from my seat, although very little in the way of action shots because I like to actually WATCH the games. And also because I don't want to get nailed by a puck.

Super Sexy Shirtless Brady Hjelle* started for tUMD, which was very exciting. My co-drinkers at Grandma's (well, I wasn't drinking, so they were drinking for me) were very nervous, but I stayed calm by remaining positive. I reminded them that he's already played, and it was against a much better team, and that team had already rung up Stalock for 5 goals, and he still shut them down, so there was no reason to worry. It was so cute before the game, after the huddle, how Kenny and Al had a little chat with him and patted his helmet and got him all pumped up. Brady played well; both goals were given up on the power play, one on an unnecessary 5 on 3, and one on a penalty that we could have done without but wasn't that bad and was at least the result of physical play and not just random stupidity. He had a few moments that made me very nervous when he was playing the puck, but he did restrain himself from playing the puck at times when it looked like he was going to make a move. Someone made a sign that said "It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!" and hung it over the railing across from us. I tried to get a photo but I think it turned out poorly. We'll see later. When Bermidji took a time out and Brady came over to the bench, he was straight up grinning. I was so happy with his play all night and it was great to see him show off his mad skillz. I know my RWD correspondent/scout in Cedar Rapids is going to be thrilled. What up, Tracy?

I didn't think about it at the time, but I realized tonight all six of the freshmen played! Exciting!!! It was a good way to reward them for all their hard work (well, I don't really know that they have been working hard, but I would assume they would) and also to get them some game experience. The defencemen were getting power play and penalty kill experience, which is fantastic. Kishel will be QBing a PP unit if not next year, then the year after. Lamb is going to permanently injure some goalie with his wicked slappah. Great game, kiddos!

For the second time in as many nights, one of My Guys got 2 goals. Sharpy got his fairly early so there was plenty of time to get a hat trick (because really, Marco Peluso was the last Dog to get one and none of these guys even played on the same team as he did), and I really really wanted to see one. I was even wearing a hat, although it was of the knit variety and I probably would have hit Stalock with it as it would not have made it to the ice, and that would have been unbelievably embarrassing. I thought My Sweet Jacky had gotten an assist but evidently it went to Kishel instead. Oh well. All in all My Guys had a FANTASTIC weekend as did the whole team!

I know that we've all had some ups and downs this year, but I have to say, it is so amazing to watch some of these goals happen. Justin Fontaine's goal and Mike Connolly's goal were both spectacular in the setup as well as the finish, and it is a nice change in our game plan. I still love the garbage goals, because you can't win successfully without them, but it is really nice to see the "highlight reel" (would that we had one!) goals that have been few and far between the past few years.

I could not finish this post without mentioning the weird drunken cougar from Bermidji who was FREAKING OUT every time the Beavers scored. I mean, pounding on the glass next to the bench, rubbing her badonkadonk on the glass, headlocking her friends, running around like a crazy person type freaking out. I yelled at her on Friday night but on Saturday the only person who benefitted from my yelling was Chris Garner. I recommended possibly cutting her off at the bar next time. Good lord, lady. When I am that old I will not be acting that way. Seriously. It is time to hang up the crazy cougary screeching and start being a crotchety old sea hag. I figure I have about 2 or 3 good years left in me, and this lady had about 30 years on me. For reals, if you are going to be a cougar, at least be hot.

Next up: Mankato. I'll be watching the Charter feed on Friday and then zooming up to D-town on Saturday to see us finish off another home sweep, and then some things will be happening. WOOHOO!!!!!!

The Numbers
Wins until we equal last season's total: 4 (Last NC of the season!)
Points until we equal last season's total: 8 (No more NC, but 6-1-1 is FABULOUS!!)

My Guys
MacGregor Sharp: 24!
Jack Connolly: 15
Michael Gergen: 10
Rob Bordson: 0

Freshmen
Mike Connolly: 20!
Jack Connolly: 15
Scott Kishel: 2! (But taking a point from my Jacky made me less happy about Kish's point)
Travis Oleksuk: 1
David Grun: 0
Brady Lamb: 0

On Notice:
Rob Bordson
Jay Cascalenda
Matt Greer
Alex Stalock

Goals Only
Drew Akins
Andrew Carroll
Cody Danberg
Jordan Fulton
Nick Kemp
Josh Meyers
Mike Montgomery
Trent Palm
Kyle Schmidt

*This is an inside joke. He was not shirtless.